Poll: Girlfriends: Are they worth the effort?

[Poofs]

to some people its worth it, to others its not
i suggest you find yourself a gamer-girl and enjoy life

 

[CloakedOne]

something I neglected to mention (regarding my opinions) is this: some people get along just fine without relationships. if you don't need it, you don't need it and you shouldn't feel pressured to get into one. Most people get into relationships because they're lonely and they want to share emotional parts of themselves with someone beyond a friend. If you don't feel as if you need this, you must not!

Exactly. But somehow, even on websites and blogs that are targeting the nerd demographic, they feel obligated to point out what fools people like me are for not chasing skirts. I truely think of women as equals, but they seem to suggest they are trophies or something and we are the losers for not having any.
I just can't hear it any longer. That's why i started this topic in the first place, to have someone explain why it(love etc.) is apparently the one thing in world everybody must experience unless they want to be lonely worthless sobs.

Sadly, there is a good bit of truth to that: men are taught to view women as goals more than they are taught to view them as people (at least when it comes to exactly what you've mentioned: the media, websites, blogs, etc.). The reason you are asked to feel that way is because it is typical not because it is right. The reason people promote that NOT getting a relationship equates to you being a sob is, frankly, because that's usually what not being with someone means: the person becomes lonely, depressed, pathetic, and severely low in self esteem. This is not encouraged by the media entirely, though, as it is most often pointed out because they hope to sell something or point out typical human nature. Sorry that your notice of this has caused you distress, but I'd say you should feel glad that not being in a relationship does not equal depression: you have a strength that many (including myself) lack.

 

[CloakedOne]

that

Having a relationship is not important in itself, but I think it's pretty important for a number of reasons:

1. Having a good gf gives you a support system that everyone needs
2. masturbating does not compare to the intimacy of body-on-body contact. It just doesn't. Rosie Palms is someone that you visit when you're lonely and desperate most of the time.
3. Women aren't always the troublesome nags that people often complain about. A girlfriend can be the most wonderful thing to happen to your self-esteem, feelings of self worth, relaxation, comfort, and overall well-being. The only trouble is finding ones that are compatible.
4. Love is just as blissful and beautiful as it can be painful. For many, it's well worth it.

Not having a gf this far in your life is nothing to be ashamed of for several reasons. One: you're not alone, I didn't have a gf until I was 20. Two: having a highschool gf is rarely worthwhile because you're still growing and learning about yourself. When you've got that much more maturing to do, anything before adulthood is usually puppy love. Hope that helps!

that is the biggest load of bullshit ive ever heard

I'm truly impressed! You can hear visual messages? or is it that you're suffering from a small case of synesthesia?

In all seriousness: I'm sorry that you don't experience the things that I've listed, but always remember: just because YOU don't witness/experience something doesn't mean that other people are not.

 

[Firia]

And don't feel bad that you're in your 20's and a virgin. This isn't a bad quality. Among the fellas, it may be something (I dunno what), but among the ladies? That's perfectly fine! Just get your lazy butt out there, and socialize. That's really all you can do. If there's someone that captures your fancy, in that you think she's cool and seems to not mind you, ask her if she'd be interested in coffee, or dinner.

THEN come back and ask for dating advice. (j/k on that last part.)

Well, i don't know about the OP, but i am not technically a virgin. Still no major difference. And to be honest, while i agree it's not necessarily a bad quality, it's not quite a good thing either. To me at least.
And i'm not sure what you're saying: that girls see it as perfectly fine for them to be virgins in their 20's, OR, that girls see it as perfectly fine for guys to be virgins in their 20's unlike guys who might view it otherwise for a guy to be a virgin at that age. (I hope i wrote that clearly enough.)
I might be wrong here, but i don't think girls in their 20's are all that ok with getting a virgin boyfriend. Like i said, might be wrong though.

I meant what I said, and there's really nothing that needs saying beyond that; it's fine to be a virgin in your 20's. Case closed.

 

[RaikuFA]

that

Having a relationship is not important in itself, but I think it's pretty important for a number of reasons:

1. Having a good gf gives you a support system that everyone needs
2. masturbating does not compare to the intimacy of body-on-body contact. It just doesn't. Rosie Palms is someone that you visit when you're lonely and desperate most of the time.
3. Women aren't always the troublesome nags that people often complain about. A girlfriend can be the most wonderful thing to happen to your self-esteem, feelings of self worth, relaxation, comfort, and overall well-being. The only trouble is finding ones that are compatible.
4. Love is just as blissful and beautiful as it can be painful. For many, it's well worth it.

Not having a gf this far in your life is nothing to be ashamed of for several reasons. One: you're not alone, I didn't have a gf until I was 20. Two: having a highschool gf is rarely worthwhile because you're still growing and learning about yourself. When you've got that much more maturing to do, anything before adulthood is usually puppy love. Hope that helps!

that is the biggest load of bullshit ive ever heard

I'm truly impressed! You can hear visual messages? or is it that you're suffering from a small case of synesthesia?

In all seriousness: I'm sorry that you don't experience the things that I've listed, but always remember: just because YOU don't witness/experience something doesn't mean that other people are not.

actually, i play it in my head as if someones talking to me. but yeah, i hope some people are though

And you ask the internet if the internet's obsession with women is justified? "Is it worth the mild heartburn to eat the delicious burger" is a suitable analogy. A little grief, a few uncomfortable situations, but mostly just deliciousness and fun. You get to ask yourself that question, not us. Go out and talk to some actual females, see if you have any luck.

yeah but what if the restraunt wont serve you said burger and just leaves you there to starve to death?

Then go across the street to their competitior? You've got feet, have you not? Or hands, i suppose, in context.

well i was asking in the sense that what if no girl will give you the chance? whats the point of finding someone if noone will go out with you? in my case, its because im ugly as sin

I never did get that saying. Sin, in my experience, is usually the most alluring, attractive, and appealing aspect around. And if your standards of yourself are that low (and without a picture I have no way of judging), then go find someone who looks fairly attractive to you and go be mediocre together. Most people are aware of how they look, and don't like being praised above that, so go find someone you don't mind, and show her some of that sin. Who knows, could be fun.

well, ive never been out with hot or average girls, theyve all been very ugly and their personalities were just as bad as their looks

unless you're gay, then yes, they are worth the effort. Besides, what happens when you grow up lonely? You see all your friends get married, how happy they are, and think "Damn, why didn't I at least try?" It's one of those things, man. If (I'm not trying to troll or flame) You don't at least try, you're pathetic. I'm sorry, but that's how I see it. So what if you get rejected? Big deal! pick yourself up and try something else! Try getting a different girl! It's not the end of the world if you get rejected. What do you have to lose? The answer: Nothing. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

not in my situation. it can get worst then no as she can humiliate you just for the fun of it or spread rumors about you just because its funny

Dude, if that's what's happening to you, you are clearly dating some very immature girls. Past a certain point, they just won't bother doing stuff like that. And if they do, you'll be able to counter fairly easily.

i never got to date with them. they were cockteases

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Having a relationship is not important in itself, but I think it's pretty important for a number of reasons:

1. Having a good gf gives you a support system that everyone needs
2. masturbating does not compare to the intimacy of body-on-body contact. It just doesn't. Rosie Palms is someone that you visit when you're lonely and desperate most of the time.
3. Women aren't always the troublesome nags that people often complain about. A girlfriend can be the most wonderful thing to happen to your self-esteem, feelings of self worth, relaxation, comfort, and overall well-being. The only trouble is finding ones that are compatible.
4. Love is just as blissful and beautiful as it can be painful. For many, it's well worth it.

Not having a gf this far in your life is nothing to be ashamed of for several reasons. One: you're not alone, I didn't have a gf until I was 20. Two: having a highschool gf is rarely worthwhile because you're still growing and learning about yourself. When you've got that much more maturing to do, anything before adulthood is usually puppy love. Hope that helps!

Um... I'm 28, so yeah...

I realize, that explaining this love thing to someone like me is like trying to describe a colour to a blind person, but at the moment it sounds to me like it's a nice to have thing but actually persuing a relationship is too damn hard (for me). Like, you know, playing 20 hrs of FF13 just to get to the slightly better parts. No, damn it, I don't think so. Going back to my booze now...

The first step to get a girlfriend at 28 years old is to not use analogies from Mass Effect in conversation.

But, but... Mass Effect is freakin' awesome. Shame over any girls who dismiss it.

Haha too true bud. Luckily my girl loves games. She's currently addicted to Bioshock 2

 

[feycreature]

Oi vey, sex isn't why you should get into a relationship.

Heh, points for use of Oy vey in a post.

OP: Getting nagged at in return for sex is not a healthy relationship, and not exactly a romantic relationship at all. For one thing, many if not most women like sex too. We don't do it just to humour men or so that they will hang around to be nagged at. Your example posits a pretty absurd, two-dimensional woman right out of a terrible sit-com. It'd be like me asking "Are gamer guys worth it? I mean is getting someone to tell me I'm pretty worth having some pale, weak, socially maladjusted slob pawing over me all the time?" False premise based on stereotypes.

Sometimes relationships can be difficult, though it pays to recognize your own part in those difficulties. Still, there are good reasons and bad reasons for getting into one. Good reasons include mutual respect and admiration, similar goals in life and/or love, and even sheer animal attraction (though that alone won't sustain you in the long run). Bad reasons include wanting to get laid (feeling attractive is good, feeling used, less so), thinking you're supposed to, or to prove a point. At any rate, we're just women, not aliens. We have different bits and different social training, that's all. It's even possible to be plain ol' friends with us! I know, it sounds far-fetched, but we engage in normal conversation about games, books and ideas just like real people!

Sarcasm aside, I have generally had more emotional drama in my relationships with girls than those with guys. Not always, my stormiest relationship (the current one) is with a boy so there you go. If you can't handle a little emotional turmoil you'll probably either stay single after a couple bad experiences or learn to deal.

 

[Foxbat Flyer]

The way i look at it, most relationships never last. Ive been in 3, and he longest one was for 2 weeks... that was 4 years ago now, and im currently not in a rush to find a relationship, as it will come with patience (And i want the right relationship first go) not to mention, that in a relationship, money doesnt last, so im saving up now.

So i say no, its not worth it, but that option isnt there, so i went im a lonely gamer too

All relationships end. All marriages will end in death or divorce. All pets you buy will die, all video game systems you get will eventually become obsolete, all buildings you live in will eventually be replaced, etc.

If you cannot handle that a relationship will end, than why invest time in anything--they'll come to an end, too.

When i say dont last, i mean all through high school no relationship lasted more than a year. I want a realtionship that will lead to a life together, instead of a short term relationship, which all relationships seem to be. If you love someone only enough for a short term relationship, its not worth it

 

[BehattedWanderer]

And you ask the internet if the internet's obsession with women is justified? "Is it worth the mild heartburn to eat the delicious burger" is a suitable analogy. A little grief, a few uncomfortable situations, but mostly just deliciousness and fun. You get to ask yourself that question, not us. Go out and talk to some actual females, see if you have any luck.

yeah but what if the restraunt wont serve you said burger and just leaves you there to starve to death?

Then go across the street to their competitior? You've got feet, have you not? Or hands, i suppose, in context.

well i was asking in the sense that what if no girl will give you the chance? whats the point of finding someone if noone will go out with you? in my case, its because im ugly as sin

I never did get that saying. Sin, in my experience, is usually the most alluring, attractive, and appealing aspect around. And if your standards of yourself are that low (and without a picture I have no way of judging), then go find someone who looks fairly attractive to you and go be mediocre together. Most people are aware of how they look, and don't like being praised above that, so go find someone you don't mind, and show her some of that sin. Who knows, could be fun.

well, ive never been out with hot or average girls, theyve all been very ugly and their personalities were just as bad as their looks

Sounds a bit like a problem on both sides. The better your personality, the better theirs.

 

[RaikuFA]

no seriously, i had to go out with very ugly girls and they treated me like crap. wouldnt even let me hold their hand until i did something for them and even then it was a 50/50 chance

im thuper therial about this

 

[Shoqiyqa]

that was the most confusing thing ive ever read

I have achieved girlvana!

 

[bobknowsall]

i never got to date with them. they were cockteases

Yeah, that makes sense. You know, because girls won't avoid you for using words like that. That sort of attitude will not endear yourself to people, male or female.

 

[Skratt]

So I ask: Is having a girlfriend really worth all the effort, is this sex thing really so much better than Rosie Palms, is the jumping through hoops for a woman, the nagging and annoying talks and everything that rewarding at the end? Or are people exaggerating?

OP, if you actually have to ask this question, your answer is no. By your post you have already formed your opinions about women and any effort you actually undertake in getting said GF will inevitably lead you to solidify your position in the no category when confronted with the problems of actually having to interact with the opposite sex IRL.

I think this is the first time I've ever advised someone to not get a life because they'll probably be happier not having one. Cheers!

No that's not it, I think. It's just, I feel kind of cozy in my ways of life but at times it gets so boring. Like something is missing. But being the lazy asshole that I am, I don't do anything about it because its hard to change.

It's becoming more and more a mystery to me, why everywhere i look, people insist that love is so amazing. I just don't feel it, the same way, i couldn't get exited watching Avatar.

Love is grand to those who are in it, shitty to those that have been burned by it and nothing to those who have never known it.

You could always try to find a girlfriend, but just as with everything else, some are good, some are bad, some are really good, and some are really bad.

Although I still maintain it might be better you not find a GF. Some people live very happy lives, albeit a bit lonely/boring without a GF/BF. And if you do go find one, try to get one with a few things in common with you. Oh, and wear a rubber, dude.