Lost it to Aerosmith, while having sex with a girl. I remember the Aerosmith more fondly than the girl.
Poll: Have you lost your virginity? If so, when and with who?
- Thread starter awesomeClaw
- Start date
I can't even seem to land a date of my own, let alone reach this benchmark. Damn you friend-zone, what's wrong with wanting to know the girl before asking them out?!
My goal is not to get laid, unlike what seems to be the OPs goal. However, I would certainly accept if it was with the right person, for the right reasons (Which means, not with some person who I don't care about, and not for the hell of it)
I was 15 and it was with my kinda-girlfriend (it was kinda casual).
As the antithesis of all the guys who are happy with their choice not to have sex (cuz its ALWAYS a choice AMIRITE): Eight years have now past since my first timee, and I have spent most of it getting laid plural times a week, and I am happy with that choice.
More seriously tho, I will say that sex is not that big of a deal, but only once you've started having it. Now I'm not gunna judge anyone for the age they have their first time, because you shouldn't do it unless you want to. Maybe you feel too young, maybe girls are just scary or in short supply (i went to an all boys school... i feel your pain).
Having said that, I will say that I think any male who had a chance to have sex on their own terms and didn't is deeply weird. Sex isn't magic and won't turn you crazy or anything... Like I said, once you start boning, you'll realize its not a big deal.
Also IMO anyone who thinks that their eventual partner will thank them for being a virgin is deluded. Its a kind of psychotic naive optimism. Sure it makes sense to you that you wanna save yourself and in its way it has a certain sweetness (which doesn't last after the first time btw)... But trust me, as someone who used to make a hobby of sleeping with virgins of both sexes, they only really have ego value.
You get good at sex through practice, and much more crucially, you only get even passable at foreplay and oral and such by having an understanding partner to tell you what you did wrong the first dozen times.
Basically, when you turn down sex with appealing people for whatever (crazy) reason, you are betting that whoever you do eventually think you are 'in love' with and want you to 'give yourself to' won't mind that after a number of thoroughly chastened dates, that you suck in bed.
Now im sure some people genuinely don't mind, but in the early stages of a relationship (when you are doing your absolute best to deceive a person into loving you enough that when they find out who you really are, they won't mind too much) frankly being dreadful in bed is not going to make you wanna come back for more. Particularly, when you are looking at something as a 'rest of my life' thing, you really do think if you are going to be happy just having sex with this person, and when they feel like they have never touched a (wo)man before it doesn't make you particularly interested.
Some may argue that love is what its all about, however, only swingers and stupid people think that love and sex aren't closely related. The kinda love it takes to stay with someone who made you REALLY work for sex which then turned out to be comically awful does not last. If you can live your life without ever having someone rock your world again, then maybe you can stay in that relationship. Otherwise, why bother ? Find someone else to share your bed with, and make friends with whoever else. No matter how much you think you love each other, you need to be sexually compatible.
You wouldn't pick your partner for ... anything... if you'd never done that thing before. Seriously... imagine you pick the only person you are EVER going to play tennis with before you bought a racket... Before you know how much you like tennis... Before you know if you like their style... Before you even KNOW there are styles...
No-one should have to decide like that, and no matter how well meaning and nice you think it is for your eventual long term partner to be your only one, no-one wants to be holding your hand while you work out both the absolute basics of how to show them a good time, and indeed what you like... What happens if getting laid brings out a love of bondage, or an insatiable lust for watersports or it turns out that after all the mucking around you are in fact gay and no matter how much you love someone you can't actually desire them that way ?
Look its a dumb idea. That's what I'm saying.
Edit -
In the interests of full disclosure, my fiancee has reminded me that I am the only person she has slept with, and has forced me to add to that no matter how often I describe myself as a 'Neanderthal Sex Warrior' that doesn't mean I'm gods gift to anyone. *sigh* women.
As the antithesis of all the guys who are happy with their choice not to have sex (cuz its ALWAYS a choice AMIRITE): Eight years have now past since my first timee, and I have spent most of it getting laid plural times a week, and I am happy with that choice.
More seriously tho, I will say that sex is not that big of a deal, but only once you've started having it. Now I'm not gunna judge anyone for the age they have their first time, because you shouldn't do it unless you want to. Maybe you feel too young, maybe girls are just scary or in short supply (i went to an all boys school... i feel your pain).
Having said that, I will say that I think any male who had a chance to have sex on their own terms and didn't is deeply weird. Sex isn't magic and won't turn you crazy or anything... Like I said, once you start boning, you'll realize its not a big deal.
Also IMO anyone who thinks that their eventual partner will thank them for being a virgin is deluded. Its a kind of psychotic naive optimism. Sure it makes sense to you that you wanna save yourself and in its way it has a certain sweetness (which doesn't last after the first time btw)... But trust me, as someone who used to make a hobby of sleeping with virgins of both sexes, they only really have ego value.
You get good at sex through practice, and much more crucially, you only get even passable at foreplay and oral and such by having an understanding partner to tell you what you did wrong the first dozen times.
Basically, when you turn down sex with appealing people for whatever (crazy) reason, you are betting that whoever you do eventually think you are 'in love' with and want you to 'give yourself to' won't mind that after a number of thoroughly chastened dates, that you suck in bed.
Now im sure some people genuinely don't mind, but in the early stages of a relationship (when you are doing your absolute best to deceive a person into loving you enough that when they find out who you really are, they won't mind too much) frankly being dreadful in bed is not going to make you wanna come back for more. Particularly, when you are looking at something as a 'rest of my life' thing, you really do think if you are going to be happy just having sex with this person, and when they feel like they have never touched a (wo)man before it doesn't make you particularly interested.
Some may argue that love is what its all about, however, only swingers and stupid people think that love and sex aren't closely related. The kinda love it takes to stay with someone who made you REALLY work for sex which then turned out to be comically awful does not last. If you can live your life without ever having someone rock your world again, then maybe you can stay in that relationship. Otherwise, why bother ? Find someone else to share your bed with, and make friends with whoever else. No matter how much you think you love each other, you need to be sexually compatible.
You wouldn't pick your partner for ... anything... if you'd never done that thing before. Seriously... imagine you pick the only person you are EVER going to play tennis with before you bought a racket... Before you know how much you like tennis... Before you know if you like their style... Before you even KNOW there are styles...
No-one should have to decide like that, and no matter how well meaning and nice you think it is for your eventual long term partner to be your only one, no-one wants to be holding your hand while you work out both the absolute basics of how to show them a good time, and indeed what you like... What happens if getting laid brings out a love of bondage, or an insatiable lust for watersports or it turns out that after all the mucking around you are in fact gay and no matter how much you love someone you can't actually desire them that way ?
Look its a dumb idea. That's what I'm saying.
Edit -
In the interests of full disclosure, my fiancee has reminded me that I am the only person she has slept with, and has forced me to add to that no matter how often I describe myself as a 'Neanderthal Sex Warrior' that doesn't mean I'm gods gift to anyone. *sigh* women.
Not meaning to blow my own trumpet here...but I'd like to say...
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.260751-Poll-Sex-And-You-Lets-keep-this-mature
Yeah, if you really wanna know, as well as other things, have a browse of that. It's fun stuff:].
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.260751-Poll-Sex-And-You-Lets-keep-this-mature
Yeah, if you really wanna know, as well as other things, have a browse of that. It's fun stuff:].
I trust myself completely and I know how it works. Yes, it doesn't involve sex drive but I've met guys who have gone through it and read about it to and they usually have lost any desire for sex (as quoted by them and their wives if they have one). It usually does kill sex drive from what I have seen so if I did go celibate, I would want my sex drive gone. But you're right it is psychological, so then what would physically remove sex drive? If it involves cutting off my man parts entirely then I think I'll just stick with a vasectomy (IF I did go celibate; I haven't given up yet)NezumiiroKitsune said:
Mr. Google said:
I'm still a "virgin" then. I'm not sure whether that I feel happy or sad.Dags90 said:
You really want to know? Alrighty then. That would be due to a combination of poor social skills, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, lack of any concrete idea what-so-ever on how to go about dating, and personal convictions.Uncreation said:
So I'm in some kind of sexual experience limbo? Aw jeez, yeah that does sound pretty crap actually.Dags90 said:
Why, exactly? Do you simply hate naked having fun before they´ve reached the age where the goverment deems it "appropriate"?RAKtheUndead said:
Its actually quite a relationship tester for alot of people, some relationships dye off after youve reached that last area (7 out of 9 couples broke up soon after from my experience), so be warned.awesomeClaw said:
As for me? I have yet to lose it, but I almost did, and Im glad I didnt, considering the girl turnt out to be a.....unpleasent being.
Hey there, saw your post and felt compelled to respond. My genuine personal advice to you (that many may disagree with, and would have some vaild points) do not wait untill your married! You want to learn the ropes first, get good and make your wedding night truely magical. Sex is 100% better with someone you love, but is 100% better still if you and your partner are experienced and know what your doing.megascorcher said:
As I say, many may disagree and I couldn't catagorically say that they are wrong, but that would be my advice. (off topic I know but felt obligated to mention).
ps.. im not saying rush it and practice with anyone ;p =)