Poll: Is it sexist to think it's worse (as a man) to hit a woman than another man?

Dys

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Merkavar said:
also the whole men are stronger thing and shouldnt throw their weight around is so old fashion. Its like from back in the day were all men worked the fields and laboured all day and women did the laundry. Now a days men and women can be stronger and weaker than each other. men might be on average stonger than women but alot of women are stronger than men. so i think that arguement is invalid.
Are you serious? The average height for a man is something like 20 cm higher than a woman. It is possible for a woman to be stronger than a man, but it's uncommon and is the exception not the rule. Men also naturally develop considerably more muscle than women, again there are exceptions and some (very, very few) women feel the need to obsessively build muscle, but again the number of these women simply is not significant. It doesn't matter how much society decides men and women are equal, from a physical standpoint we are not and in terms of raw strength, men are always going to be dominant.

As for violence against women, I recall hearing there's a hormonal reason for why most men find is sickening (some natural way of keeping men around to protect women and children) and I simply would not ever hit a girl in the same way as I'd hit a guy. I might physically restrain her, but unless she is armed with a weapon, or is one of the few that is physically bigger than me I would not be able to throw a punch.
 

Blackjack 222

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Jaranja said:
Randy11517 said:
Jaranja said:
Someone slapped you for holding a door open for them?...

Holy fuck shit, I think we just found the biggest **** in the world.
The business woman in the suit slammed her briefcase(presumably full of bricks) into my nuts, shoved my crumpled body into a mug puddle, took my umbrella, and told me i was a sexist ass. I was 17 at the time and it was then i realized each woman i met would be a *****. In reality i was being polite & thought "Jesus that suit must be expensive. I should do the proper thing and cover her". Next thing i knew my best friend was pulling me into a cab to take me to the hospital while the ***** looked on.
I wish people like that would just die.
I do to that way i could go on as normal without fear of something insanely stupid and arbitrary happening to me.
 

Braonan

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Charley said:
So, I've just had a brief tangential 'argument' in another forum thread on here about violence against women. The whole thing started based on someone's comment that they'd happily hit a man or a woman.

Now, I personally think that's pretty wrong from the outset, I'm not a fan of actual (i.e. non-fictional) violence (against anyone) - it's unnecessary. One thing that particularly bothers me is the idea of actual male violence against women. Not because women are weaker, or need protecting or any of that nonsense, but because we're supposed to have evolved past men throwing their physical weight around. In my opinion, it's abhorrent. I was raised that you never raise a hand against a woman, and to be honest I've never questioned that - it just seems like the right way to think.

Whilst that may well be an old-fashioned approach for a man to take, I don't know. However, I think it's unfair to brand me as sexist because I think it's wrong to hit a woman. I'm not looking for any arguments (or to make any digs following the thread that's prompted this) but I am curious as to what other people think - hence the dreaded poll.

One thing I'd like to know, is that if you think it's sexist, please do say why.

For the record, I'm happy for the person I was disagreeing with to join the discussion - like I said, I'm curious as to whether or not my stance on this is considered out-of-line rather than trying to prove who's right or wrong.

==

EDIT - I thought of a way of expressing what I mean that might make it a bit clearer. I think, if I hit a woman (for whatever reason), I would be significantly more ashamed of myself than if I hit a man (again for whatever reason). Assuming the act itself is equally wrong in both circumstances (i.e. you shouldn't hit anyone) that's how I'd feel about it.
Females had their revolution, they can no longer act like their innocent and precious. I advocate equal treatment for everyone, so yes it is sexist. That being I will always follow the out of style gentleman that I was born to be.
 

Czargent Sane

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sexism: treating someone differently because of gender.

yes. this isnt an opinion. all this poll is gauging is how many people understand what sexism is.


this is the equivalent of asking:

is it racist if I say that all black people are extremely proficient at basketball?
 

Blackjack 222

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Crazy_Dude said:
You do not hit a women because she is being a ***** and you are annoyed about it. (Pretty much the same with guys you dont go punch each other in the head for nothing)

But if she were armed with a weapon and really wanted to hurt you in some odd situation. I think its right that you should punch her. What else should you do? Stand there doing nothing and get stabbed?
That is exactly how my daddy raised me but again my family was insane and i am glad their are 5 states between them and me now.

" It don't matter if a girl is beating you with a stick, stabbing you with a knife, or hitting you with her bag you do not retaliate!" most times i was unable to retaliate because the woman in question was a *****.
 

Shade184

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It's a confusing question, definitely. But I don't think it's sexist. As many have said before me, it's more of a chivalry thing, which stems from the desire to be a good person, rather than a sexist one. Holding a door for someone, female or no, isn't sexist, it's simple politeness.

Funny thing is, this is a sort of discrimination, just as holding the door for the elderly would be. Does this mean *GASP* not all discrimination is bad?

Of course it does. Just like we're discriminating towards (not "against") people in third-world countries by sending donations etc.

But back to my main point.

I don't think it's sexist to think it's worse to hit a woman than to hit a mit, in the situation that violence arises. I believe that because I try to be a good person, not because I want to look down on women.

But if it came to blows, I would defend myself. Don't get me wrong.
 

Drejer43

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Randy11517 said:
The business woman in the suit slammed her briefcase(presumably full of bricks) into my nuts, shoved my crumpled body into a mug puddle, took my umbrella, and told me i was a sexist ass. I was 17 at the time and it was then i realized each woman i met would be a *****. In reality i was being polite & thought "Jesus that suit must be expensive. I should do the proper thing and cover her". Next thing i knew my best friend was pulling me into a cab to take me to the hospital while the ***** looked on.
*Speechless*

Reading that makes me angry somehow.

What a *****.
 

CatmanStu

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If a guy hits a guy (outside of sport and sparring) it is almost always going to be some macho bullshit to instigate a fight and prove how much of a 'man' they are, whether it be posturing to friends or some archaic way of marking territory, either way they will usually believe they can't back down, which sometimes leaves violence as the only way out.
If a woman hits a guy, either he has deserved it (not taking a hint or being overly vulgar) or it is in the heat of an argument (which will usually be quickly regretted).
The crutch of it is, and I know this is generally considered sexist, men are almost always more physically powerful than women; so I would no more retaliate towards a woman than I would against a guy who was smaller than me.
 

Booze Zombie

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If violence is necessary in a situation, it needs to be used regardless of the other person's gender.
It should always be the reluctant option, regardless of gender, though.

Randy11517 said:
The business woman in the suit slammed her briefcase(presumably full of bricks) into my nuts, shoved my crumpled body into a mug puddle, took my umbrella, and told me i was a sexist ass. I was 17 at the time and it was then i realized each woman i met would be a *****. In reality i was being polite & thought "Jesus that suit must be expensive. I should do the proper thing and cover her". Next thing i knew my best friend was pulling me into a cab to take me to the hospital while the ***** looked on.
Wow, did you take her to court? I'd love to have seen that case.
"Yes, your honour. She assaulted this man because he tried to cover her expensive suit from the rain without realising that, she, in fact, studied feminism at uni."
 

Charley

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For the record, I agree that it's not a great question. It seems inappropriate to change it now, since that would mean that the present answers don't apply to the question they're attributed to.

The reason I posed the question that way is that people will drop straight to the term "sexist" without getting into great long definitions and caveats about the situation. I was after a "gut reaction"/"common knowledge" answer. Like I said, not great - but it's gotten people talking about it.
 

Karthesios

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Short answer, yes it is sexist. Equal rights/treatment and chivalry are mutually exclusive entities. Male or female, if you're pushing others around and get yourself knocked out in the process, you only have yourself to blame.

The worst kinds of men are those who will either use the above to justify going Ike Turner on any woman they encounter without provocation, in addition to one who just take any abuse a woman throws at him because he's been taught "not to hit girls." If push comes to shove, stand up for yourself, fellas. Women aren't deities.

The worst kind of women are those who will take advantage of this old mindset by antagonizing men (up to and including physical violence), then hide behind their gender by playing the "weak and delicate" card to avoid any repercussions, up to and including using the legal system to their advantage. Basically the kind who want the special treatments/protection that come from a chivalrous mindset, in addition to the equal treatment/regard that modern society demands.

Long story short, treat others just how you want to be treated, no matter what you have stashed in your slacks, but don't be a doormat.
 

AK47Marine

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If your going to hit me like a man I'm going to treat you like one and put one up your head. It's that simple. I don't go around looking to hand out beat downs but if you bring me a fight I'm going to stomp you till you stop moving or start begging me and whatever cruel god obviously let you in to the world and convinced you to attack me for any form of mercy. It's completely fair. I treat either sex completely the same.

This came up in the infantry training in the Marine Corps alot. Dealing with the rather unpleasant reality that you may have to shoot women and children, not to amuse yourself or whatever they want to put on CNN but because those women and children are desperately trying to kill you and your buddies. So from that I just split the world in to combatants and non-combatants. Even in my day to day life, everyone's a non-combatant but the second someone switches over it's on.

Now there's a whole series of things attached to this, reasonable force, situational force, etc and so forth. But the basic answer to OP's question treating any one different for whatever reason based on gender is sexist.

That said I still open doors and say "Ma'am" alot so in some cases it's just upbringing ingrained sexism
 

TheAceTheOne

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Personally, I don't think it is. While I don't like it, if there's a cause (I.E. she's whaling on me or my friends who are defenseless), I'll do it. I don't go around punching people as a personal rule, but when it comes down to defense, I'm an equal-opportunity type of guy. (Just realized I read the question wrong, before this here edit.)
 

Czargent Sane

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Booze Zombie said:
If violence is necessary in a situation, it needs to be used regardless of the other person's gender.
It should always be the reluctant option, regardless of gender, though.
exactly! I'm I'm willing to use violence, that means the other person is a threat that cant be avoided or stopped without it.
 

Berethond

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Charley said:
Xojins said:
Short answer: Yes, it is sexist.
Can we have the long answer that includes your reason, please? That's the point of this thread - there's clearly a divide here, and just throwing in a 'yes' or 'no' isn't helping the discussion a great deal.

Thank
You're treating people differently based on gender.
Therefore, it is sexist.
And there's really no arguing that. You can argue whether it's acceptable or good or whatever but there's no way you can deny that it's sexist.
 

Crazy_Dude

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Randy11517 said:
Crazy_Dude said:
You do not hit a women because she is being a ***** and you are annoyed about it. (Pretty much the same with guys you dont go punch each other in the head for nothing)

But if she were armed with a weapon and really wanted to hurt you in some odd situation. I think its right that you should punch her. What else should you do? Stand there doing nothing and get stabbed?
That is exactly how my daddy raised me but again my family was insane and i am glad their are 5 states between them and me now.

" It don't matter if a girl is beating you with a stick, stabbing you with a knife, or hitting you with her bag you do not retaliate!" most times i was unable to retaliate because the woman in question was a *****.
No offense but your family must truly be batshit insane.
 

FarleShadow

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Really, the question should be 'Is it more acceptable for someone who can defend themselves equally, rather than those who cannot defend themselves?'

Sexism, racism, all the 'ism's' is implictly 'ismistic', as in, it automatically implies the weaker group, in this context, women, are weaker than the other group, men.

When someone says 'Max slapped Emma!' nearly all immediately assume that max is big and emma is small. But in this example, Max is an ordinary guy and Emma is a 6'5 bodybuilder who can deadlift 300kg. Then its less a case of 'sexism' and more a case of 'Max wakes up, broken and blooded'.

I happen to hold a (slightly) sexist version of women, 99% of it coming from when a woman is pregnant and massively hormonal. Women are technically 'mentally' weaker during this period. No, winding them up wins you no points, unless you have better skills in self-defense or are significantly larger than they are, in that case, its a draw.
 

moretimethansense

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Charley said:
moretimethansense said:
Yep, it's sexist, treating a man hitting a woman as being worse is implicitly stating that women can't defend themselves and need protecting by a big strong man.
Ignoring the rest of your post, how is that implicitly stated? That's what your background has led you to take from it - almost everyone here that's said it's not sexist has also said that it's proper conduct/chivalrous/gentlemanly rather than because men are superior or anything of the sort. Context is probably important here - I went to an all-male school up to 16.

From my perspective, I'm not an especially strong guy - I did my time lugging barrels around in nightclub cellars, but I'm average on a good day and I wouldn't really consider myself physically superior so I can assure you that doesn't come into my rationale.
Bull, it doesn't matter what your rational is, chivalry? gentlemanlike?
It is flat out saying that women need protected and that a man that would strike one is not a man at all.

For comparison, let's assume for a second that you are in no way rasist (not saying you are) let's also assume that black people are still not allowed to use "whites only" bathrooms the rule itself is the problem not the rational behind it.

Let me ask you, is it okay for a woman to hit a man?
Is it okay for a man to hit a woman?
Is it worse for a man to hit a woman than for a woman to hit a man?

Replace "man" whith "white man" and replace "woman" whith "black man" and you may get my point.

For hitting a woman to be worse than hitting a man it directly implies that women are delicate creatures thar could shatter if touched roughly, whereas men can take any punishment dealt out to them, THAT IS SEXISM plain and simple, sexism is the belief that one sex is inherently better, tougher, weaker and/or more important and that sir is complete and utter bullshit.