Poll: Is your partner also your best friend?

[Johnny Novgorod]

This is my spin-off from the opposite sex best friend thread. I noticed a lot of people answered "My partner/spouse is my best friend". Which is very cute but I don't know how wise that is. I have a very rudimentary (?) don't-put-all-you-eggs-on-the-same-basket philosophy in life, as far as romance and friendship go. And there's some discussion value in that, I think. Is your significant other "also" your best friend? Is your best friend "also" your significant other? What do you think of that?

I dated what you might call a best friend in high school for many years, and as it turned out I ended up with neither. Ages ago, water over the bridge. These days I like to keep that separate. Yes, you can have meaningful, insightful conversation with either. And of course there's the chance you don't have a best friend so you consider your significant other just that for lack of a better option. But the duties or responsabilities of a friend are NOT those of your romantic interest. The grounds for either relationship are very different and I don't know if they mix very well together.

Penny for your thoughts?

 

[Wraith]

I would say in most healthy relationships your significant other will become like a best friend. Well, that's what happens to me anyway. You may tell them things about you that you have not shared with other best friends of yours and you may do things with them you would never be able to do with the others. Though, I'd be stupid to assume this happens in every relationship. So my answer is yes, my significant other is my best friend.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I've never considered any of my SO's my best friend.

It doesn't mean I haven't cared for my ex's any less, I just think it's always preferable to have a support network outside of your relationship. That and I've always been happier having other people to socialise with and having my own group of friends separate from my relationships.

I've had the same best friend for over a decade and I think my relationships have always benefitted from having her to go to for advice or just to vent.

 

[Eamar]

Currently single, but I've never considered a partner my best friend, not even the one I lived with for a couple of years. I actually met my best friend the same night I met that ex, so it's not like I already had a best friend who was around for any length of time before the relationship started either. I don't know, I just consider the two types of relationship very different. I'm really not sure why. I mean, after a few years they both knew everything about me (and I them), but it always felt different.

That said, I've never dated someone I was already friends with. I'd quite like to (not any of my current friends in particular, just in general), as I imagine that'd produce a somewhat different and very interesting sort of relationship.

 

[viscomica]

This kind of reminds me of a college humor video in which a dude had a girlfriend that was also his best friend. She was described as comfortable as a hoodie, but who in their right minds would want to date their own hoodie?

 

[Ieyke]

The only women in my life I'm interested in are the people I would consider my best friends. All 3 of them.
I'm not with any of them at the moment (unless it's in the loosest sense), but no matter how you slice it the answer will be yes. I can't love someone unless they're also at a best friend level.

But then we're in our lateish twenties and we have known each other forever, understand each other, and trust each other on a level other people have a hard time measuring up to.
It might be a worse idea when you're younger and there's still a ton of bullshit drama going on for stupid reasons.
I dunno.

I've tried to talk myself into dating a few girls who I'm just regular, not super-close friends with. I just can't muster the number of shits I'm required to give. I just don't get how people deal with it.
I think the base issue is that I'm not interested in someone unless I in some manner see them as my genuine equal, and if they're my equal....how/why would we NOT be best friends?


Perhaps the fact that "best friend" is an entire tier of people to me, rather than one person...maybe that's the problem?
They're the people I'd go to the ends of the Earth for, and tell anything to. Well above regular friends.
*shrug*

 

[mitchell271]

My girlfriend is one of my best friends and I have three. She was one of them before we started dating, and now we're more than that. It's nice when things work out that way

 

[Rose and Thorn]

When I was in a relationship, that person became my bestfriend yup. Hurts even more after a breakup when you lose a lover and a bestfriend.

 

[Palademon]

Of course it's risky, but it's definitely what I'd want.
I couldn't imagine a romantic relationship with someone I couldn't call a very close friend.
Ideally my partner should be my favourite person.
I think it's weird to not want that, but understandable, as long as it being high risk isn't the only reason you're avoiding it. That way you'll never be getting what you want.

But, y'know that's probably the reason why I'm single.

 

[babinro]

My partner currently ranks 14th on my list of friends...
If she ever makes it to number 1 I'll propose. That's how it works, right?

 

[Risingblade]

There's no one else I'd rather be hanging out with so yup

 

[FPLOON]

Well, despite never not having a significant other, I really don't think I'll treat them the same way I treat my best friend... otherwise we would only be communicating by just glancing at one another and/or having the most "friendliest" debates over different comic book/anime/novel/movie lore...

Besides, I still find it weird to have romantic feelings for a best friend... it doesn't always sound like it would go out well in the first place... (and my best friend can still vouch for that...)

 

[EeveeElectro]

He is, and I personally need that in a relationship.
My last one failed because I don't even think we liked each other and was just in it for the sex. I couldn't be myself around him and we regularly sat in silence.

That's not to say it's a good idea for them to be your sole close friend. I have others I can talk to about stuff he wouldn't understand and it's nice to see a different face.
We do more than coupley things together, I think those couples that have to spend every day with each other, in each others pockets are quite pathetic imo.
It's nice to feel like I can be open around him without judgement because he's both a best friend and a partner.

 

[Someone Depressing]

One of my previous girlfriends and me were very close. She moved, and we eventually simply... lost contact, drifted away. There were many other things, though, but we tried to stay in contact as long as we could. It'd be a tragic story if I didn't meet her when she was 15. And I was 12. Maybe the ephobophilia on her part makes it a lot less romantic, but it never became sexual, so... less creepy?

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

My partner currently ranks 14th on my list of friends...
If she ever makes it to number 1 I'll propose. That's how it works, right?

I dunno, what about all those movies where the guy looks mournfully at someone and says "I married my best friend" like that doomed the whole thing from the start?

 

[CellShaded]

My girlfriend is one of my best friends and I have three. She was one of them before we started dating, and now we're more than that. It's nice when things work out that way

Pretty much this for me, too. She's definitely one of the two people I would call my best friend. Were also best friends before and then it just kinda happened. Were together for three years and now we've been living together for four years.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Partner? Me? Hahaha ah, you're so funny OP. If I was in the field of romantic operations I would say it's probably a bad idea to have a partner and best friend rolled up into one. Sure your partner can also be *like* a best friend but I would wager most people have friends outside the spectrum of romantic partnerships.

Or maybe i'm way behind the times and this is the new hip thing with the kids nowadays.

 

[krazykidd]

That was my thread, and quite honestly, i didn't even think of that as an option when making the thread. My girlfriend is not my best friend, and quite frankly, i think it is weird when people say they are. When i think friend, i think strictly platonic ( hence why FWB, need to specify the "with benefits"). When i think partner ( boyfriend or girlfriend) i think romance. Two things that are , in my mind) seperate, and should not cross over, ever.

When someone tells me their bf/gf is their best friend, i think to myself " Awww, that's so sad".

TL;DR : No.

 

[krazykidd]

Partner? Me? Hahaha ah, you're so funny OP. If I was in the field of romantic operations I would say it's probably a bad idea to have a partner and best friend rolled up into one. Sure your partner can also be *like* a best friend but I would wager most people have friends outside the spectrum of romantic partnerships.

Or maybe i'm way behind the times and this is the new hip thing with the kids nowadays.

No you got it right. See you would make for an awsome boytoy boyfriend!

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Hmm...Kinda.

See, I don't have a traditional "best friend".

I have 6 friends who are so close they're basically family to me. I have one I call "best friend", but really, they're all about the same level.

And my girlfriend is in that circle, obviously.