Poll: Marriage - What is it Good For? (Absolutely Nothing! Huh! Yeah!)


New member
Feb 3, 2010
Calm down it's a song lyric reference. I'm not good at titles.

So I saw this article today, and clicked on it because I have a 26 year old female friend who is absolutely obsessed with the idea of meeting a guy and getting married, and her lack of success is very slowly driving her insane.


I know, I know, Cracked, they suck now. I'm sorry. You don't even NEED to click on the article I will explain all this shit to you for the purposes of fruitful discussion.

Full disclosure. I am not married. I have never been married. My parents were happily married for many years until my father's death, so they worked out the "till death do us part" bit, and my Mom shows zero interest in re-marriage so she clearly felt it applied to both of them. I had the role models. I have some married friends and some unmarried friends, some happily common-law friends and some bitter divorced friends. I'm in a happy relationship of almost 14 years and we show no signs of splitting up. I wasn't raised religious so the tradition itself has no real significance for me. I would qualify as having a slight "anti-marriage" bias, if I had one at all, simply because it's never really "been for me" for no particular reason other than it seems odd.

So what's the deal with this article? Well it was the comments. They're not SO bad, outside of a few, but they were pretty predictable. Pretty angry, pretty defensive, pretty circle the wagons-defend the Queen.

I have another young friend (28) who presently does NOT want to get married. She's been with her boyfriend for 4 years, and has attended maybe 15 weddings during that span of time for various friends. The uniting factor between her and the 26 year old is they both feel a near unceasing pressure from every married person in their lives to follow suit. If they've not accomplished the feat yet, something is wrong. If they express no interest, something is wrong. "This is not for me" is not an acceptable answer. It suggests their relationship is teetering on the edge of DOOM.

I had a co-worker who got married, some 5-6 years ago. He was very, very smug about it. Saying how he never understood relationships until he was married, and now he GOT IT. I suggested the marriage itself had nothing to do with it and maybe this was just his first good relationship, and he scoffed. Said I wouldn't understand until I myself was married. Two years later he'd been cheated on and divorced. I'm still in the same happy relationship. Now I'M being smug, but I run into this horse shit more often than you'd think. You see it with "had children" versus "no children" as well. Sort of a "Playstation vs XBOX" sunk-cost fallacy but with ridiculously high stakes. People make this binary "one or the other" life choice and want to feel like they did the right thing, so they turn into hectoring cunts about it.

So, some questions for the 5 people still frequenting this forum and reading this thread...

1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?

2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?

3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?

4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?

5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.


Elite Member
Jan 16, 2010
1. No. And, c'mon, nobody much is likely to say yes to the next bit, whether they do or don't.
2. If people see it as significant, it is.
3. I don't like the idea of institutions that are beyond reproach. That's not to say that you can't have stupid attacks on the idea of marriage, though.
4. No. Marriage keeps changing, not so long ago inter racial marriages were banned, a bit before that the wife was basically property. There's no enduring tradition. It's just the latest thing for bigots to deny rights to people over, if they lose that they'll move on to something else.
5. I'd advise to avoid my cooking. I can do "edible", "easy" and "quick", not yet at "tasty".


Elite Member
Aug 26, 2017
United States
1. No. But I'm such a big fan I apply both active and passive pressure for it for everyone. So much so that I locked the sexy times behind a marriage door, or you go to the bad place. It... it hasn't worked well. Hell is running out of room, actually.

2. How should I know.

3. Yes. I almost smout disney land because california married the gays.

5. Mana is better.


Trump put kids in cages!
Mar 8, 2011
I want to get married. I mean, Id rather not be married but be with a person I absolutely love till our deaths, than be married and miserable...but I do want to get married.

I dont think marriage makes people love eachother more, though I do think it makes people realize they might not love their partner...but people are stubborn and short sighted. Seems some people rather be miserable than admit they dont love their partner.

It just bothers me how many people are so beholden to expectations that work against reason. Alot of people do things cause they are expected to, not because they want to.

Bigots are making marriage a problem, not people who love eachother. Its more important that the two people love eachother than them both being straight and white.

Most marriages fail because people marry for reasons besides compatibility. If you dont consider your partner to essentially be your best friend, DONT MARRY THEM. You need more than physical attraction.

Arin and Suzy, and Ethan and Hila (Game Grumps and H3H3 respectively) are good examples of happily married people, cause they are eachother's best friends.

Edit: and Dont blame me, I voted for Kodos.


Elite Member
Apr 3, 2013
1. No, but I do want to eventually. I don't necessarily buy into it being "until death do us part", cause that can be kinda long.
2. Being married gives other people a (hopefully positive) impression of your relationship.
3. Decadent couples shouldn't marry in my opinion. I don't agree with "our love" requiring validation in the form of marriage. It should be for the purpose of raising a family. I hope the zeitgeist shifts to more exclusive marriage in the following decades. (and inb4 "you just don't like gay marriage", gay couples can raise families too so no discrimination there)
4. no comment
5. I'm on a weight loss regimen so raw broccoli, eggs, and Coke Zero.


New member
Oct 5, 2014
1. No. And right now too much of a wreck in several respects to even consider, otherwise it could be nice in theory. Not for everyone. Most of my friends are married, if anything I try to subtly pressure the remaining singles not to rush into it and leave me out of their couples fun. But it's not like I see any of them often anyway, they live all over the planet. Except here.

2. Yes, because that's what rituals are for.

3. I do get annoyed by thoughtless dismissal. If you don't want to do it for whatever reason, fine. But it's not just dumbass thing that only stupid people do. Although it can be.

4. Kind of. The principal function of the institution was to legitimize the male's lineage, which imposed reciprocal duties on both husband and wife according to a traditional division of labor. But things also have other dimensions in addition to their principal function.

5. Currently a vegetarian. Leave out the chicken.


Regular Member
Feb 26, 2014
1. No. I'd like to at some point in the future, though I'd first have to find somebody to marry.
2. Of course, I have little direct experience. I expect it can do that, though it should hopefully do little more than formalise your previously existing commitments with some administrative benefits.
3. I try not to judge other peoples relationships to much besides some mild gossipping. As for marriage, do it if you like, in the way you like, don't do it if you don't like it.
4. Eh. Kind of conservative. It ties people together in a fairly long term commitment. It is very old. It provides some security though if you need the institution to replace actual trust, you probably shouldn't marry. As for it being a battleground issue. Gay marriage specifically has been a bit of a battleground, though in my country it is not really controversial anymore. Some people like to make more room for alternative ways and constellations of living together, though this doesn't really threathen marriage unless you feel like marriage requires everyone to do it. Marrriage itself is hardly a controversial institution except amongst fairly radical people, ussually on the far left and even there most people don't really focus on abolishing marriage. The people who are actually against marriage is a tiny minority as far as I know.


Malapropic Homophone
Jun 24, 2010
Well, OP, I think you're discounting some of the legal aspects of marriage: taxation, inheritance and beneficiaries, more likely to be allowed to adopt, etc. You could argue up and down over whether the government administering such a bond is antiquated in this day and age, or not, but that wouldn't change the fact that that's the way things are, and the way they are very likely to stay in our lifetimes. In light of that, I honestly don't know why you and your 14 year significant other wouldn't at least get a common-law marriage from a JP, but I've never actually looked into the tax difference between being married and not. Y'all probably have, 14 years and all, and I'd be curious to hear what the difference would be and why y'all aren't interested in acting upon it.

As far as the chicken wraps go, having a sauce really makes a difference. For Cajun, try remoulade. Whether it's easily available pre-made would depend on where you are in the country. I can get a good bottle easily in Texas.

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
Oct 29, 2010
1 No

2 N/A

3 No.
It's probably because if I were somehow were to have a girlfriend and was super serious with her (I'm forever alone), I wouldn't want a wedding per say. Ok technically yes I would like to marry her but not the ceremory part. Cheap is so unappealing (two of my relatives were just inside town hall) and expensive is expensive like my brother wedding. Also I don't have enough friends to fill the role of the groom or is two enough? Granted I would know for certain my bride would had more maids of honor! I would pretty much settle for a more of an private/ small wedding much for my family dismay. Screwed what my family thinks, I don't want anymore pressure on the day!

4 N/A

5 N/A
Dec 16, 2009
1. Yews married, happily 99% of the time, no it's not for everyone. As i found out from a friend recently, a mortgage is more binding than a divorce.

2. I think it's a symbolic of shift from a couple to a family, but not necessary for you to be a family.

3. Nope, it's quite an out dated thing, i can see why it's mocked.

4. Not in the UK. Only time I ever see marriage debated is when it's gay marriage


New member
Feb 3, 2010
McElroy said:
5. I'm on a weight loss regimen so raw broccoli, eggs, and Coke Zero.
You might want to avoid the Coke Zero. There's some emerging evidence that sugar substitutes do one of two things (and possibly both things).

1. Horribly fuck up your gut bacteria, making it easier to gain/maintain extra weight.
2. Spike insulin production exactly the same as real sugar, which can lead to insulin resistance/weight gain/improper leptin signalling, the whole 9 yards.

Just drink water. Or, if you MUST drink something sweet, account for the garbage/wasted calories and drink the real thing.


Elite Member
Jul 16, 2013
Only people I know that are married are older folk. They usually seem quite content. Younger people who are married always look like someone pissed in their coffee. Maybe a combination of young kids, mortgage and a partner they no longer find attractive? I don't know but that's what I read in a women's mag. I assume marriage is still a thing among bible thumpers as well but I don't really know any bible thumpers. Or any other group of people who never heard of contraception for that matter.

I do love Al Bundy though. :p



Elite Member
Mar 31, 2015
1. I'm not married. I'd like to get married in the future, but it's evidently not the best thing for everyone, and people jump into it without thinking about what they're doing properly.

2. It conveys a whole range of legal and tax benefits, and the symbolic commitment is nice, I suppose, but people who aren't married can be just as committed.

3. People can think what they like. I've got my life, they've got theirs.

4. Marriage is a socially conservative institution, in that it promotes the creation of a traditional the family unit. As long as people can choose how they want to live, however, it doesn't really matter.

The Rogue Wolf

Stealthy Carnivore
Nov 25, 2007
Stalking the Digital Tundra
I've been saying for years that marriage is THE NUMBER-ONE RISK FACTOR in divorce. I mean, have you ever heard of people who aren't married getting divorced? Of course you haven't!

I think there are two primary reasons married couples try to pressure their single friends into it: Either they think they've found the easy path to happiness and are trying to show everyone else "the way", or they're secretly insecure and they're trying to get other people to follow their path in order to justify their decision.


Seeker of Ancient Knowledge
Aug 3, 2011
The Rogue Wolf said:
I've been saying for years that marriage is THE NUMBER-ONE RISK FACTOR in divorce. I mean, have you ever heard of people who aren't married getting divorced? Of course you haven't!

I think there are two primary reasons married couples try to pressure their single friends into it: Either they think they've found the easy path to happiness and are trying to show everyone else "the way", or they're secretly insecure and they're trying to get other people to follow their path in order to justify their decision.
Of course I have! In fact, I am divorcing you as my random guy I see online person! Take that

(sorry op, saw this sorta of discussion, seen it used to justify shittiness, and seen how it completely ignores the fact that marriage has benefits for two people legally so I am just not interested into anything more than a passing joke bout it. You want to know my opinion, I think marriage is a fine thing, provides stability to couples, and I hope to marry my boyfriend one day cause of love and for these benefits that would help me make sure he's ok and be there for him. So long)


Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
1. No, but if you subscribe to muh reeleejun, you better believe I expect you to be into the idea if you want to pursue a relationship. If you aren't religious/subscribe to a different one, then hey, not my issue.

2. Yes, for anecdotal reasons (bolstered by religious ones).

3. Only if they're self-professing Christians. Like, come on. Do you read your holy text, or not?

4. No. I think it's a religious issue, not a political one. This happens to overlap to the political map for some horrible reason.

5. Broil them.


Nascent Orca
Jun 21, 2012
SupahEwok said:
pretty much this. I had a client for years who gave me his anecdotal assessment of wills. He was a lawyer dealing with estates. If there was a married partner alive, everything usually transfer to them and there was not much contesting. If there was no married partner, around 90% of wills were contested and you'd be surprised how little a de facto partner would get. Wills are not as binding as you may think and blood relatives can fight for a greater share. In my country, de facto partners can be banned from seeing loved ones in hospital unless a blood relative gives approval
Mr Ink 5000 said:
1. Yews married, happily 99% of the time, no it's not for everyone. As i found out from a friend recently, a mortgage is more binding than a divorce.
And also this. Marriage can be easily broken. A mortgage cannot.
I'm am married for 7 years now. I was keen to get married when I was young but after dating for 8 yrs and living a 'married' life, getting married no longer seemed important. The above points are the exception to me personally.
Mar 26, 2008
1. Short answer, yes. Long answer, got married at 21; got divorced at 26; got married again at 28, separated at 30 and reconciled at 32. In answer to the bigger question, NO it is absolutely not right for everyone. There are some people (and I put myself in this category) that are fundamentally selfish and not cut out for the selflessness that a true partnership/marriage requires. Those people should save their future partners endless heartbreak and not walk down the aisle.
I love my wife to death and I'm all-in for this, but if something happened and we divorced I'd never, ever remarry. In fact I'd stay clear of long term relationships in general because I know I've got a personality that makes them impossible and unfair for the other person. Coming to that realisation made me sad, but you have to be honest with yourself.

2. I believe in the institution and I think it can really make the whole greater than the sum of it's parts. For me it has given me a resolve and drive for self-improvement so I can be the man I think my wife deserves. Thirteen years on and I'm still trying.

3. For a millisecond, yes I get defensive as I think people tend to think marriage is easy. It is the "default setting" of human relationships; a cop-out from the stresses of finding someone. A good marriage is fucking hard! It takes dedication and work. However people are entitled to believe what they want to believe so in the end I simmer down.

4. No. Although the concept of marriage is evolving, that fact that people are willing to commit their lives to each other, I think that ideal is timeless.

5. Don't skimp on the cumin


New member
May 30, 2013
I'd only ever get married for the legal benefit to the children should I die, else it is a meaningless endeavor to make a big deal out of promising to be there for another which i think should in a relationship be pretty bog standard.