Poll: Marriage - What is it Good For? (Absolutely Nothing! Huh! Yeah!)

SoliterDan

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As of 2017, I am not married, nor do I plan to in the near foreseen future, because I'm really not that interested in people.

The institution of marriage, however, I consider to be important, but in a dire need of a reform. In my head, the reason why many people today are very reluctant to marry someone is due to economic and social constrains (and, as a result, stress), such activity puts on both partners. Because of this, very often it ends...badly for both sides.
So, I personally think, that marriage should be treated as a job. Two people that want to "marry" must not only have a desire to do so, but also have necessary bare minimums to keep each-other afloat. After that, they simply go to the required governmental institution and make a marriage contract. Marriage contract is very important, as it legally binds both partners to each-other, as well as establishes boundaries that one can't brake. Additionally, it certainly makes the divorce process a hell easier. Also the next most important thing from a marriage - children. Only people that are married should be allowed to have children. It is scientifically proven that a complete family unit makes a much more healthy and socially stable human. This is where the "job" part comes in - the government must financially support families, whose female spouse is pregnant and up until the child is capable of going to school and add this time to your pension, if there is one. Additionally, the government should also make seasonal inspections regarding the health of the child and the family itself. They are, after all, paying you a wage for this.

Also, go make some mustard and a mayo to that chicken.
 

Jamcie Kerbizz

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BloatedGuppy said:
So, some questions for the 5 people still frequenting this forum and reading this thread...

1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?

2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?

3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?

4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?

5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.
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Yes.
From formal point of view: Marriage as state institution. It is a way to formalize family. State expects from family that it will bring up new healthy and productivie citizens aka tax payers, soldiers etc. In turn it provides incetives (or at least should have) to compensate for the burden on family budget (money & time), that having kids are (if married couple does their job and invest themselves in children properly). Any family that profits and takes marriage priviladges without providing at least 2 kids back is parasitic and detrimental to this social policy. It's a crucial policy for net positive reproduction rates of the nation, otherwise you end up with looming economic catastrophe, ie. larger share of population is either senile or not yet in production age than actual productive people - state has no money to provide needed social polices for senile and young generation. From there you eeither slump into chaos overtaxing your actual still working citizens or cut social policies, state provided retirenment funds etc. All resulting in increasing poverty. Alternatively you try and get in your country immigrants from other regions of the world that can provide work and be taxed and hopefully have healthier family models that will provide NRR high enough to close the gap in reproduction of population.

Informal view: It's not something to anyone. The bigger individual you are the harder it will be for you to fit in. There's absolutely nothing that can prepare you for the lifetime with another person. The whole formal thing is sketchy at best in its actual implementation in most states, ie. if you are failing individuals you will create failing marriage and likely state will not support you decent enough to change that, on the other hand if you do good on your own, state takes away more than it provides anyway.

As to your friend: just tell her to stop and calm the f-k down and lay off peer pressure bs. I was pretty much set to live my life on my own and been happy. Then I met my wife, got married, got kids and am happy. If you set out to desperately get married as media try to push such narrative (at the same time taking apart and dragging through mud anything and everything in it) you just set up yourself for major disappointment and likely ending up divorced, hating rest of your life, being reduced to vegetative state of an individual by a predator. Being a marriage hating, little, self entitled prick, that cries constatntly about self and 'muh feels' aka egoist also doesn't bode well for having your own lifetime lasting share of happiness with another person.

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No.
There's absolutely NOTHING to believe in here. It's state institution comes with incentives, priviladges and duties (hardly any if you don't have any children). It's ment to be foundation for family and bringing up children but I don't know any state that actually enforces that end of a bargain. Beside that, it's just another piece of paper from state that just declares the obious for formal reasons. You'll only ever need it in health, death, inheritance emergencies.

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No.
Why would anyone? People who do, don't get upset by formal or informal meanings of marriage (well at least grown ups don't) but if they are religious types they are upset by desecrating marriage model their religion (muslims, christians, jews) established. And lets be honest that is fair. Don't sign in for a religion if you disagree with what given religion stands for. On the other hand, if they try an push in their religious marriage model as state marriage model then they can go and collaboratively piss off.

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No.
Marriage isn't a political institution. It existed before the whole left/right trash can fire nonsense. Don't get brainwashed by mass media outlets that will take perfectly simple and normal things and pin elements of it to either side, trying to create left-right shit storm out of it. Sure its great to attract publicity and rake in profits but having known that, just don't buy into it.

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Let the antibiotics and hormones swacked chicken live. If you must have meat, get a decent chunk of argentinian beef instead (or any beef that isn't getting yet poultry like 'treatment').
 

maninahat

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1. Yes I'm married, no people shouldn't be pressured to get married. There was a significant pressure on my wife to get married, as an Indian woman who was about to turn 28, and she's racked by guilt for having the suspicion that our marriage is the product of pushy parents. In an ideal world without societal obligations or convoluted spouse visas, it might never have occurred to us to marry.

2. A marriage is whatever you make it. For some it is this super-dooper romantic thing that has a lasting thing, and they are fine to hold it in such high esteem. For me, it was a nice thing to have (though my advice is the cheaper and more personal, the better).

3. I'd like to think that I don't give a shit when someone belittles marriage, and in most situations I don't, but there was that time my wife asked if she could swap her wedding ring for one of the generic ones in her jewellery collection. It turns out Indians don't give a shit about wedding rings, so her asking genuinely hurt my feelings. She looked at me like I was a crazy person for being so "sentimental". It serves as a handy example to use whenever people show callousness towards, say, Muslims getting upset by pictures of Muhammed or Christians over bibles being burnt.

4. Marriage is conservative in that it is designed to facilitate a specific form of social structure (monogomous, traditionally heterosexual, legally accepted relationships), and has built itself up to have many fairly rigid traditions, cultural/religious significance, and a large core of people who don't want it to adjust with the times. It needn't be all these things, it just happens to be.

5. Don't bother breading them. In fact, try leaving the skin on if you're not bothered by a bit of gristle. A bit of crispy skin tastes amazing.
 

Cycloptomese

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1. Yes, I'm married. 7 years as of the 14th. It's probably not the right thing for everyone, but it works great for us.

2. I'm not a believer in the institution, but you get a great tax break.

3. No. See 2.

4. I don't answer questions like that any more.

5. You'd have to talk to my wife. She's into the cooking shows.
 

Baffle

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1. Married for 11 years, glad we did so, though I think if we did it all over again the wedding itself would be different (fewer people, hotter country). I see no need for people to get married, it's horses for courses. The majority of my friends aren't married, though quite a few have been in the past.

2. I think it might make people a little more inclined to stay together when they're unhappy because of the fear of what you might lose in a divorce (physical property I mean), whereas, rightly or wrongly, people feel if they don't get married there is less risk of that. I don't think that's a positive aspect - I suppose it might help some people weather a bad patch, but people who aren't happy shouldn't stay together either way.

3. I don't really worry about it either way. I've known quite a few people say they're NEVER going to get married but then do so, and sometimes offer a lame excuse rather than just admitting they've changed their mind. It's not much of a big deal.

4. I don't think so, though I think more conservatively minded people might see it that way.

5. Just put cheese in everything.
 

laggyteabag

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Im not married, but my girlfriend is really into the whole "marry and kids" thing.

I dunno. Its a tough one. Its all about the money, really. Weddings are expensive. Really expensive. Im sure it'd be a lovely ceremony, and it'd be a night to remember, but honestly, when you are talking about spending a few hundred to a thousand pounds on a dress alone, that you will only wear once, I just find it hard to justify. Frankly, i'd rather go on a lovely holiday.

If I never marry, I will still die a happy man. I don't need to take a mortgage out on my house to justify how much I love my partner. Its just that I dont think that this line of thought will take me particularly far in my current relationship.
 

Callate

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BloatedGuppy said:
1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?
Yes. I have been married for seventeen years. It was the right thing for me; I do not necessarily think it's the right thing for everybody, any more than having children is the right thing for everybody. I would say about half of the people in my active social circle are unmarried or divorced; I feel no particular need to pressure anyone to be more like me in this respect.

I will note, however, that I see far more people in my particular group who post articles or snark about how much better it is not to get married or have children than the opposite. I'm sure in other groups it's the opposite (especially where people come from families with particular traditions), but it does raise my hackles slightly that getting irritated about this kind of needling gets one labeled as "defensive".

2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?
That kind of depends on how seriously the people entering into the marriage take it, doesn't it?

I know, that answer is skating. Inertia makes some people take the path of least resistance; that someone stays in a situation because it's easier doesn't necessarily mean that situation is healthier, or better for their community, or whatever.

I do believe that it is easier to maintain a relationship that's in a marriage than one that is not, assuming the founding relationship is essentially a healthy one and one that was entered with open eyes. Common history is useful. Not having to re-invent the wheel every time something comes up has its benefits.

None of that means that it's some magic cure-all that will make a poisonous relationship something it's not.

3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?
Mostly not; I don't think other people's marriages necessarily reflect on my own. I personally feel that marriage should be a monogamous bond with a single partner, and my eyebrow quirks a little when someone describes something as a marriage that does not fit that description, but as long as everyone is a consenting adult entering things with their eyes open and not being exploited or abused, I'm not inclined to comment, let alone do anything to disparage or try to harm what they have.

My own snarky mind says that anyone who rains scorn on marriage as a whole might have a different take on the situation by the time they hit sixty. But, just, generally, I wish people wouldn't be condescending, smug, self-assured dicks who presume they have the "real" answers on the subject.

...That's the case on any number of subjects, though... Moving on...

4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?
I hope not. The more the open-minded, tolerant, thoughtful, compassionate left edges people out for not fitting into their notions of what their own kind should be like, the less I want to be associated with them.

It seems strange and perverse that a long fight to have gay and lesbian people who wanted to formalize their unions as marriages should lead some people (on at least vaguely the same political arc) into wanting to do away with the institution all together.

One hopes that wiser heads will prevail. Even if only heads wise enough to recognize that on a planet with about seven billion people and counting, it's not one small group's place to impose such a monumental change on everyone.

5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.
Cajun dry rub: 1 tbps cracked black peppercorns, 1 tbsp salt, 2 tsp crushed fennel seeds, 1 tsp dried thyme, 1 tsp sweet or hot paprika, 1 tsp dry mustard, 1 tsp garlic powder, 1/2 tsp ground red pepper (or to taste), 1 tsp ground sage.

This is "blackening spice"- I've used it with good results on chicken and fish. Coat the meat with melted butter, sprinkle with the rub, and cook for about 3-4 minutes a side in a very hot cast iron pan. Be aware that it will smoke like crazy, but it's delicious.

In conclusion, while Cracked has some very talented writers who work for them, it has increasingly become a hotbed of poorly-researched, poorly-considered, narrative-driven clickbait that makes the world a sadder, angrier place, and if they were half as decent as their attitude seems to imply that they think they are, they would be ashamed of themselves.
 
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I am not married but wish to be, if I could find the right person to share such a relationship with. I can however understand why some folks don't find much value in it. For men in particular, marriage isn't a particularly good deal. It's a legally binding contract and the terms don't benefit men greatly...in fact it's quite a raw deal. Financially speaking, it's probably the worst deal imaginable. Add the cost of rings and weddings and consider that the US divorce rate is 50%, 70% of which are brought by the woman (15% by the man, 15% mutual), statistically speaking it's very fraught.
 

Baffle

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KingsGambit said:
Financially speaking, it's probably the worst deal imaginable.
Actually, getting a mortgage is worse. Over the life of a mortgage, unless you overpay the monthly cost, you'll end up paying about half again what your house it worth (maybe not the case at the moment as interest rates are so low). Unfortunately, for the majority of us, there aren't many alternatives (esp. with the current rental market).

Wedding rings aren't that expensive. Weddings themselves can be unnecessarily so, but they don't have to be. That's a personal choice.
 

Ugicywapih

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1. Nope. I would like to find a long term romantic relationship and I'd probably prefer to get married when that happens for legal reasons (them sweet, sweet tax breaks, mostly), not to mention I'd be happy to do it if the other person attributes some significance to it, but I don't really see the appeal of marriage as a cultural institution personally, at least not beyond additional affirmation of commitment.

2. I hear people, on average, report improvement to their sex lives after marriage, so it has that going for it. It may also impart some greater staying power to the relationship by making it more public in eyes of each sides' family and through cultural expectations, but that's not necessarily a good thing. My grandparents' marriage (only on one side, thankfully) turned sour and, over the years, fkin toxic. Not believing in divorce, they both ended up living with a person they'd loathe for many long years.

3. Nah.

4. Kinda depends on your definition of marriage. Gay marriages exist in some countries and I'd say they're a fairly progressive development. As such, marriage could not be uniquely conservative, unless one were to consider non-conservative marriages to be different from a "real marriage" somehow.

5. Not the sort of thing I ever made and you've probably tried the online recipe sites already, but maybe give foodsubs.com a go, they have some neat descriptions of different ingredients, might find something that inspires you.
 

Drake the Dragonheart

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1. hahahahahah oh heaven's lord no! I don't even want to be in a relationship, why on god's green earth would I want to get married! I'm not really for or against, I'd say neutral. Though I will say I have a few friends that got married to lets just real pieces of work.

2. I think my answer in question 1 probably makes this N/A

3. either no, why would it, or simply just N/A

4. everything about the "left vs right" is becoming tiresome. though I wouldn't necessarily call it a conservative institution.

5. wish I could help you here friend, but I really can't. my idea of cooking is run a spit through and stick it over a fire.
 

Lufia Erim

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Marriage is important, because if your gf dies you get a widows check until you die.

My current girlfriend is a widow. She was married at 21 and her husband died when she was 25. I met her when she was 28, now shes 36, and she has been getting 500$ a month from the government for being a widow, in addition to her job as an accountant. This is in Canada by the way.

Oh and if you get married. Sign a prenup. Alwayd sign a prenup.
 

Michel Henzel

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May 13, 2014
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1. Nope, and I do not see any real reason to marry, nor does it have that many benefits.

2. I'm not, so I do not.

3 and 4. I don't care, marriage has been around for thousands of years, across many cultures in one form or another, it's nothing sacred and does not belong to any one group.
 

9tailedflame

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>1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?

Unmarried, not dating, not even particularly social. Not particularly keen on it, certainly not the right thing for everyone.

2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?

It's much more practical than that. I believe in it to the extent that it does a good job of providing children with support systems while they grow. It's socioevolutionarally practical, that's about it. I think as far as relationships or personal happiness, it's overall a slight downgrade.

3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?

I think it's funny when people glorify it, i might think less of them, it makes me kinda sad to see otherwise intelligent and reasonable people reduced to immature, childish simpletons at the prospect.

4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?

It's certainly become politicized, because people wanted to be exclusive assholes and not let gay people marry.

5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.

Nope, sorry, but best of luck.
 

somonels

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1. No. It's a state-incentivized domestic/civic relationship with reproductive [strikethrough]restrictions[/strikethrough] assumption, not that those work or benefit both parties.

2. Yes, there are proven psychological impacts on such events. Specifically I remember a study on hazings but i'm sure weddings do the same but come with a regular burden of financial debt, which funnily enough is the major reason for broken relationships.

3. I think the, any, church is shit and their attempts to "rightfully contextualize" our fundamental laws are a sufficient reason why they are ridiculed.

4. Depends on the country and whatever church it acknowledges as a state institution. Religion, a fundamentally conservative organization, tries to politicize it by claiming sovereignty over it. Which is some countries have to go through shit like calling church-opposed marriages by a political name in the vein of "separate-but-equal".

5. I can be your diet coach if you ever need one. Send me that chicken.
 

Tanis

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1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?
Nope.

2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?
I'm an atheist so...

3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?
Nope.

4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?
For some, yes.
-Nothing like forcing a woman to lose her last time so religion can dick with women even more.

For many it seems to one of those 'THINGS YOU MUST DO BEFORE YOU DIE TO BECOME A 'REAL' ADULT', which is bullshit...but, whatever.
-Enjoy the divorce and loss of half your shit I guess?

5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.
Didn't realize you could make GOOD Cajun, well, anything.
-Any Cajun food I've had has been too damn spicy.
 

sageoftruth

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1. No. I'm currently undecided about whether or not I want to. I live pretty comfortably as a bachelor, so I have trouble imagining someone whom I'd give up this lifestyle for. I'm hesitant to give up my privacy, so I would need someone who makes me feel as comfortable as I am when behind closed doors.
I see marriage as a choice, and won't give anyone a hard time for deciding not to pursue it. If anything, I'm more likely to ask them, "Are you absolutely sure?" if I feel like they're moving into this too quickly. Rushing into a marriage sets off far more warning lights in my head than refusing marriage outright.

2. I don't consider myself to be much of a believer in the importance of the institution. I don't think marriage changes people. It's kind of like a Nobel Peace Prize. It's an encouragement, which makes the people feel like they have a new responsibility on their shoulders, but it won't just magically change who they are as a person. Still, sometimes that encouragement alone is enough to give some people the push they need. Overall, I'd never suggest that anyone gamble on marriage working as a cure for immaturity or irresponsibility. If things aren't working right now, don't expect marriage to suddenly fix it.

3. Well, marriage is a legal agreement to me and little else. Still, it's also an important moment for two people, at least on a personal level, and I'd be pretty disgusted if anyone tried to ruin that moment for the couple. I don't see it as something that needs defending on moral grounds, but deciding to rain on a couple's special moment seems pretty low to me.
On the other hand, it does irk me when people are pressured into it, since that sounds like an easy way to end up with a bad marriage.

4. I think of this as more of a religious vs. non-religious matter, tradition vs. choice, rather than left vs. right. Of course, the sanctity of religious tradition has often been the domain of the religious right at the very least. If there's a segment of the left that argues for upholding religious traditions, then I haven't heard of it. So, I'd say that keeping weddings traditional is conservative. Making pragmatic changes when the need arises is more liberal. Still, I'm open to counter-thoughts on this.

5. You don't want to listen to me. I'm a lousy cook.
 

gorfias

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BloatedGuppy said:
So, some questions for the 5 people still frequenting this forum and reading this thread...

1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?

1a. Yup. I'm purple pilled at this time. Marriage is arguably finally paying off in that it is nice to have a committed partner now that I'm old. Course, I could have roomed with a buddy for the same companionship.

2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?

2a. It is a contract. It's provisions are in a state of contention as to what is actually enforced, and what we want enforced. But without ceremony, I think it would be handled with great frivolity and harm the institution.

3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?

3a. When people take the institution lightly, it seems to come from innocence, like a scar that has never felt a wound. Marriage has some financial benefits. I worry that dizzing marriage is leading up to punishing it with higher taxes. I like keeping my money and do not want to be targeted for higher taxes.

4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?

4a. There is traditional marriage (conservative) and progressive marriage which is liberal. Libs are winning on this one.

5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.

5a: Will you add ranch dressing and bacon bits? Maybe a shake of Frank's hot sauce?

EDIT: 1.: I've got a thread in solomanogamy in politics forum.
2.: Prager has a decent video on how marriage benefits society and by extension men (tragedy of the commons issue), but it is like a bad joke if about men individually. "Doug says he has no cares in the world. Then he got married and started working an extra 400 hours a year, enjoying the company of friends less and going to church more! Yay!." There is a need with society to figure out more about how to make marriage attractive to men.