Poll: Never know or never want?

[Qwurty2.0]

I don't get why someone would pick the "Never Have" option. It's by far the more depressing option.

The operative word in the poll is 'never'. You'll never have what it is you want, in either case. So, in the case of "Never Have", striving to attain it is the epitome of futility. It's not a goal. It's a cruel insult.

With the "Never Know" option you'll never find that one thing that you want, but you'll at least have the chance to find a few things you do like while trying to figure out what it is you want.

The same could technically be said about the "Never Have" option, but regardless of what alternatives you find you'll never be able to truly enjoy them because none of them are the thing you truly want. You'll forever have the comparison of the thing you're striving for. If anything, finding alternatives will drive home the idea that you'll never have what it is that you want, making the whole endeavor even more depressing. With "Never Know" you'll have to deal with the idea that the alternatives you've found aren't the thing you're looking for, but since you don't actually know what that thing is you have only speculation on how much better it could be. This can make it easier to accept the alternative for what it is without the constant nagging feeling that it's not as good as the one you want.

That's why, to me anyway, striving to find the desired unknown is a far more optimistic goal than trying to attain the thing you can never have. It leads to more open-ended possibilities of discovery than aiming for a single-target goal.

"Know but never have" is the living reality of most people on the planet, and has been for almost the entirety of the human race. People know they can never be a millionaire, or discover the next greatest invention of their time, or marry the women of their dreams, or whatever they want.

They act like adults, accept that their dreams will never be a reality. They do what we do everyday - they compromise and find a happy medium.

Ask anyone who has been in a stressful crossroads in their lives where they don't know what they want. Most will say it is draining and awful. I spent a time in my life where I did not know what I wanted, and it made me depressed and empty. There was no purpose besides "find my purpose", but no matter how hard you try, you will never be satisfied because you will always be searching.

I suppose "ignorance is bliss" is a good way to justify "never know", and there's nothing wrong with that, I suppose. From my point of view, my reality was "never know" but is now "never have", and I've found "never have" to be freeing and better than never being able to rest and accept my life.

This is, of course, all pointless discussion, as the OP never specified the magnitude of the person's dreams. Some people have small dreams, others dream big. Big dreamers will survive "never have" better because their compromise will advance them farther than someone who's dream is the same as the magnitude of the compromise.

Dreams are hard to quantify, however, so I might just be shit talking. :l

 

[Vigormortis]

snip

I never really thought of it as a "ignorance is bliss" kind of scenario, but more of a desire to find. In looking for the thing you want, you can stumble upon alternatives. And, since you don't know what it is you're truly after, and therefore have no metric to gauge how 'good' the alternative is, you can take more enjoyment or satisfaction in the alternative. Whereas if you know what you're after, but can never attain it, you will forever have that metric to gauge the value of the alternative. You'll be endlessly reminded of how you've had to settle.

The latter is closer to reality, of course, but since this is all pointless posturing I thought I'd go with the slightly more open and less futile, if more unrealistic, option.

On a side note, I've been in both situations before. But in a purely speculative consideration of the options, I'd still choose the "Never Know". It's just as pointless as the other option, but I think, with proper abandonment of the worry of making the wrong decision, I'd wind up being happier with never knowing. If only because, for me, the drive to solve a mystery is far more potent than the drive to obtain a singular 'thing'.

Though....the two aren't mutually exclusive...

 

[babinro]

I live the never know option and life is great.
I'm fine with being unmotivated to change and having no drive to improve.

Seems much better than having something I desperately want impossibly out of reach.

 

[Johnny Impact]

Never have. Because that's the situation I'm in.

If I could have anything I'd damn well learn to be happy with something.

 

[Qwurty2.0]

snip

I never really thought of it as a "ignorance is bliss" kind of scenario, but more of a desire to find. In looking for the thing you want, you can stumble upon alternatives. And, since you don't know what it is you're truly after, and therefore have no metric to gauge how 'good' the alternative is, you can take more enjoyment or satisfaction in the alternative. Whereas if you know what you're after, but can never attain it, you will forever have that metric to gauge the value of the alternative. You'll be endlessly reminded of how you've had to settle.

The latter is closer to reality, of course, but since this is all pointless posturing I thought I'd go with the slightly more open and less futile, if more unrealistic, option.

On a side note, I've been in both situations before. But in a purely speculative consideration of the options, I'd still choose the "Never Know". It's just as pointless as the other option, but I think, with proper abandonment of the worry of making the wrong decision, I'd wind up being happier with never knowing. If only because, for me, the drive to solve a mystery is far more potent than the drive to obtain a singular 'thing'.

Though....the two aren't mutually exclusive...

Fair enough, no hard feelings.

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

Never have would be far far worse.

Knowing what you want in life but knowing that you can never obtain would be torture enough to drive people crazy. You'd spend your life trying not to be miserable.

Never knowing but having limitless possibilities however can provide you with endless entertainment. Being indecisive is my thing, having massive amount of resources to go with it would be wonderful. Can't imagine why anyone would think this is somehow the worst option, that comes off more as "I must pretend to be deep and mature" than anything else.

And if worse comes to worst, I could always just go maniacal and cause chaos.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

It is defiantly not worse to" not know what you want", if you have free reign, at that point and you do not know what you want, you should give that free reign to someone who does. You having free reign at that point is just a waste.

 

[TheRiddler]

"Never have" is clearly the worse option. It means that you know exactly what your goal is, and are completely aware that you'll never achieve it. What's the other option? Endless uncertainty? That's not an issue, it's the human condition. Nobody ever really knows whether the thing they're working towards is the thing they want.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Hard to say since my "never" is the game want/ knowing what it's like to be in a relationship (wanting a girlfriend and know what love is like).

 

[Vigormortis]

Fair enough, no hard feelings.

Psh. No worries. I wasn't offended.

If anything, I relish a little philosophical debate now and again. They're almost always pointless, but a little speculative mental exercise is a healthy thing.

 

[EHKOS]

Gun to my head? Never have. Because I can still chase it. And that's really the fun part....unless of course I want to chase a dream...uh oh.

 

[CaitSeith]

If I have the option to have anything, at least I can try and maybe find the one I want.