Lufia Erim said:
Listen, I'm just saying how i feel. This is a discussion forum, feel more than free to disagree with me and tell me why i shouldn't be afraid to associate with people with a criminal record and who've been to prison. I don't make threads for people to circle jerk around the same opinion as me. I like when people disagree and give me food for thought. So go nuts.
I've got a few friends with criminal records and several of my buddies from
back in the day have served sentences, too, though I've lost contact with most of the old crowd.
To answer your OP first: I would absolutely visit. My immediate (mother + siblings) family is extremely tightly knit and if anyone did anything I am confident that not only would I visit them, everyone would visit them, also. That goes regardless of what the crime was and under what circumstances it was committed.
Now:
I've got a few friends with criminal records and several of my buddies from
back in the day have served sentences, too, though I've lost contact with most of the old crowd.
Of the people mentioned, none have done time for murder (either degree) or any form of manslaughter. They have all served for assault, narcotics-related charges or theft - or indeed a combination.
I still care for them as my friends, you know? Not like my family who I would rate immensely higher, but still. I know that each of those guys would have my back just like they know I would have theirs, regardless of me not being any kind of a career-criminal myself.
They've done mistakes and hung with bad crowds. That doesn't make them bad people. They've accepted their punishment, served their time and are all the better for it.
The one I see the most is a mechanic today. He used to have run-ins with HA and did some jobs for them. He cut all ties now and is a hell of a friend. Who gives a fuck that he has a criminal record? To err is human and all that, yeah?
I think you're in your right not to associate with anyone based on any critiria that you like, but I think it would be a shame to dismiss someone with a record purely because they have a record. Maybe they're an irredeemable asshole, maybe they aren't - but you'll never find out.
...And blood is thicker than water and all that jazz. That you could even consider cutting ties with a family member because of a crime, whatever it was, is honestly quite beyond me. Don't you love your family? Maybe they fucked up and did some stupid shit - that doesn't make you stop loving them, does it? What about emotional support? Being there for one-another? Would you really abandon them after they've committed possibly the biggest mistake in their life and are only too aware of that fact? What about showing up just to shout at them because you expected better? Tell them to get their shit straight?
If we are talking repeat-offenders then go for it, sever the bond and run away screaming - but a one-time? I don't see the need whatsoever.
This came off a little ranty, so I apologise for that; and it is hopefully sufficiently on-topic