Poll: Physical Punishment Towards Children, Yay or Nay?

[Mikeyfell]

An obedient dog? Oh wait that's an oxymoron.

Have no fear dog lover for I am a cat person and so long as you don't put your nicknacks on the edge of something high up, or give a crap that your chair legs are all scratched to shit cats don't make mistakes.

I like both cats and dogs. I have both. Neither of which have been destructive.

So would you hit your cat to teach it to not do something you find unacceptable? Because it is a misconception that dogs are so dumb hitting is all they understand. There is not a single breed that doesn't learn better from other methods.


And to be on topic, I don't think that hitting children teaches them anything but to obey out of fear for being hit again.

Like I said cats don't make mistakes. If they did I wouldn't be a cat person.

I never implied that hitting is the only thing I would do to a bad dog or bad kid. It's just an important half of the teaching process. when they're being good you reward them. But only when their being good. My friends and parents have dogs and they're terrible dogs because the worst punishment they ever get is the word "No". To a dog that doesn't mean "Never do that again." If they got slapped or kicked they have a tangible consequence for what ever they were doing and if they continue to do that and you continue to punish them they'll be deterred from doing that in the future. If you reward them for being good they'll have a reason to continue to be good. Tangible reward, tangible punishment. Carrot and stick
not carrot or stick.

And um... trying to steer this back on topic. If a kid is old enough to understand your words and they still choose to disobey that has to be beaten out of them.

I mean you're not going to go apeshit and back hand a baby but if they're doing something they shouldn't and words aren't working, yeah hit 'em.

 

[crudus]

Taking away privileges like the ability to go out or play video games or w/e is more effective.

The way most of my friends and I viewed this as a way to find loopholes in what was said or find other/better ways to amuse ourselves. For example, if we broke a vase and got Xbox taken away for a week, we would read a book. Even if we didn't enjoy said book, we would have fun coming up with new things to do; negative punishment just turned into positive reinforcement. The main problem with physical punishment is people don't reward the good behavior to the same degree they punish the bad(or even at all). You need a system of rewards and punishments for effective shaping of behavior. Not one or the other.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

I think physical punishment is fine, but only as an educational/disciplinary tool. If the physical punishment is doled out because the parent is mad, that is just wrong.

I think the opposite is true. A slap on the wrist in the heat of the moment lets the kid know he/she's crossed a line and pushed it too far, and both them and the parent are sorry afterwards. That's how it was with my mom, and I respected her.

But my dad, on the other hand, would dole out punishment in a really cold, calculating manner that frustrated the hell out of me. Even when it was something he had no stake in and obviously didn't care about at all, he'd still punish me just because it violated some vague personal principle. But he never touched me, he'd always do stuff like steal the cables off my Playstation or repeat the same stern insinuations over and over whenever he saw me. And I always preferred my mom's direct style over my dad's passive aggression.

 

[FalloutJack]

Psychologically, it sends the wrong message, ergo it doesn't work.

 

[Baby Tea]

I think physical punishment is fine, but only as an educational/disciplinary tool. If the physical punishment is doled out because the parent is mad, that is just wrong. I also think it should definitely not be too severe and should always be a last resort, because there are often better ways to discipline a child.

And we have a winner on post #1.

I was spanked as a child, but it was reserved for the 'serious' times when I really screwed up. Otherwise, it was a good old-fashioned grounding. That way I always knew my parents were serious. They were consistent, which means when my dad started counting to 3, I knew that if I didn't do that thing by '3', I was in for it. And through it all I never once doubted they loved me, even though I needed the odd slap on the butt, or kick in the ass on my way to my room.

I wasn't beaten, they NEVER hit me when mad, and as an adult I can say it did a world of good.
My parents and I get along famously. Love 'em. I hope to be half as good a parent as mine are.

And, yes, I will spank my kids, showing the same restraint my parents did.

 

[topwomble]

Did you know it's counted as assault to hit an adult? Why aren't children granted the same defence from their parents? If children only understand pain because they haven't learnt to reason or whatever, then why don't we just train dogs by hitting them? That makes sense.

Also studies have shown (i'll link 'em at the bottom) that children that are raised through corporal punishment are more likely to suffer teenage depression. If as a parent you can only resort to your physical dominance to raise your children, then you have failed, i'm sorry.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin5.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpJR1rzkkyY&playnext=1&list=PL4E927BD2362867EC

 

[sir.rutthed]

it has been scientifically proven that physical punishment has no positive reinforcing effect. It only makes the child fear punishment and thus be sneaky about it.

it also has a negative impact on how the child learns conflicts are to be resolved

I'm not sure how much I buy that. I was belted as a kid and I'm pretty damn normal. Hell, most of my friends were belted/spanked/switched as kids and they're a pretty well adjusted group. As long as the parent is clear in why the kid is being punished and don't go overboard with it, I see nothing wrong with it. I think if I was a kid and my folks tole me to stand with my nose in a corner when I did something wrong I'd just get confused and bored, then my mind would start to wander.

 

[Odbarc]

I say it's okay if you fill out a report and make it a government issue.
You can simply threaten your children to make one of these reports and you may only have to write one in your life ever.

My child played in traffic and refuses to practice personal safety. He requires physical discipline to experience a far less harmful negatively reinforced encouragement to prevent this harmful behavior. Will hit 3 times, open hand to the buttocks.

You get your free-pass spanking ticket, whale away. Simply invoking the threat will self-teach self restraint.



I also want to point out that people seemed to be much more courteous and well mannered back when hitting was common practice. Leave it to Beaver era. Mighta been the World War they recovered from or the pre-suffrage coddling of mothers. I dunno, but there are a few adults I think should have been hit as kids.

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

Cuz my parents grew up rough, they're waaay more strict with me in comparison to other kids' parents. My asian friends and I alwaaays joke about the beatings our parents give us, and the white kids just look at us as if we're insane. Things are always funnier in retrospective. ;p

So yeah, I got a trashing whenever I did something wrong. I wish they'd give me warning though. A lot of times, (especially when I was little) I'd do shit without realizing what I was doing was wrong.

When I was really little, I was crying in church, neither of my parents said anything. But the moment I got home I got my ass whooped baaad. Needless to say, I never did it again. But honestly, the threat of getting physical punishment can be just as productive as the punishment itself.

 

[Nachtmahr]

Did you know it's counted as assault to hit an adult? Why aren't children granted the same defence from their parents? If children only understand pain because they haven't learnt to reason or whatever, then why don't we just train dogs by hitting them? That makes sense.

Also studies have shown (i'll link 'em at the bottom) that children that are raised through corporal punishment are more likely to commit crimes. If as a parent you can only resort to your physical dominance to raise your children, then you have failed, i'm sorry.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin5.htm

Thank you for some sanity, both about hitting animals and children.

 

[6037084]

My dad hit me when I was a kid sometimes, when I did something really bad, for example kicked over his favourite coffee mug, breaking it, while showing off my karate to a friend and I turned out just fine, if parents can raise their kid without physical punishment great but I've seen so many kids acting like complete assholes that have parents that wouldn't dare lay a finger on them.

 

[Feylynn]

Yes I believe they should.

Spoiler: I know this weapon well

That's what I got hit with when ever I was beyond communication.
I was pretty obedient.

There's really no reason it shouldn't happen.

Granted some kids won't respond the same way so it's up to the parent to know if it does more harm then good or not.

 

[Craorach]

Did you know it's counted as assault to hit an adult? Why aren't children granted the same defence from their parents? If children only understand pain because they haven't learnt to reason or whatever, then why don't we just train dogs by hitting them? That makes sense.

Also studies have shown (i'll link 'em at the bottom) that children that are raised through corporal punishment are more likely to commit crimes. If as a parent you can only resort to your physical dominance to raise your children, then you have failed, i'm sorry.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin5.htm

According to some, studies have also shown that video games make people violent.

And yes, it is a crime to hurt an adult.. however, if one was doing so in order to prevent them causing themselves or others harm, then it would be heavily mitigated. It is also not a crime for an authority figure to subdue someone who is behaving in a dangerous or extreme manner in some situations.

Parents have that authority over their children, who they must change from barely more than animals (the state in which we are ALL brought into this world) into respectful and decent members of our society who do not kill themselves doing whatever they feel like whenever they feel like it.

 

[XDravond]

What surprises me is that so many seem to think just because you hit a kid (legally that is a person 0-18) they learn from it.

"Kids do not do as you say, they do as YOU do"

And please stop using the reasoning "because I was hit/spanked I became a better person".

Finally violence against another person is WRONG period. Reason for violence does not make it right just a bit less wrong.
(I guess that against animals is not really right either, and contact sports are mutual sided)

 

[sheic99]

Every time I got bent over a knee in my youth, I really had it coming.
Aside from that, a quick smack to the ass seems to take care of business far quicker than 20 minutes of "Timmy, please. Please, Timmy, that's enough. Timmy, don't do that. No, Timmy. Timmy......stop it. Stop it, Timmy. Timmy, no more..."
Lady, kid ain't gonna stop unless he's got a reason to stop. Not getting a chapped ass is an excellent deterrent. None of this weak-sauce modern-day parenting crap.

Notice there's a difference between abuse and behavior correction. A vast, vast difference.

The problem there is that the parent is asking, not telling the child to stop. Physical violence isn't necessary only authority which is what many parents lack.

 

[rancher of monsters]

Well, you can quite clearly see that all the people in this thread with the "I was beaten and am better for it" have learned from physical disciplin. That violence is the answer, and that it is the easy way out.

Sure an occasional spanking will disziplin your child effectively, it will learn to fear you. If that is your goal, congrats. It will also learn violence is the way to solve conflict. If you think that is right, well...

Violence is easy. If you are strong, it is a way to get through life feared and hated. If you are weak, and someone you would like to love and trust keeps beating you, maybe one day you will learn to fight back.


I was never beaten, yet I never ran onto the road, or burned myself on a stove. I love and respect my parents, and I did what they said. They had ways of punishment and diszipline that worked without making me hate them for it. They actually took the time to explain behaviour and consequence to me. And I understood.

That's not fair and I think you know it. I don't advocate violence out of much other then direct self-defense. I also don't think a child should be hit so hard as to be fearful of there parent. I was never afraid to come into my own home. I was a child with a fully functioning brain, I was on and off the honor roll, they even wanted me to skip grades. Yet I was still able to see certain situations, know what I was doing was wrong, and go about doing it anyway. Explaining to me what was wrong did not fix the problem, and as I already explained unless there was a carnival going on I wasn't bothered by time out. So spanking was a way for my parents to get across that my actions would have consequences that I did not like. I never felt betrayed because my parents explained to me what was right and what was wrong so if I was getting spanked I earned it.

Granted that not every child needs it, or needs it often. My father told me that he only had to be spanked once in his life, and his brothers and sister verify the story. So if you can get the message across without violence then that's awesome. But if a child won't do right by any other means then some non-bleeding, non-bruising pain isn't going to leave them an emotional wreck.

 

[TriggerUnhappy]

One light smack on the ass isn't bad and can be effective, but sitting and beating/spanking a kid isn't acceptable. And rather than type out a whole paragraph, I'm gonna be lazy and let Louis CK talk for me:
<youtube=tQOmW2xRL7Q&feature=related>

 

[Nachtmahr]

I like both cats and dogs. I have both. Neither of which have been destructive.

So would you hit your cat to teach it to not do something you find unacceptable? Because it is a misconception that dogs are so dumb hitting is all they understand. There is not a single breed that doesn't learn better from other methods.

I have owned cats all my life, I currently have four ranging from 10 to a few months. They all react differently to different behaviour and discipline just like people do. The eldest has never done anything I could consider "wrong" and the slightest angry tone from one of his owners prevents him doing something that he shouldn't. The second youngest is deaf and the only way we have found to stop her doing a multitude of things we don't want her to do is physically move, shove or tap her so she realises she isn't to do that. Cat's are animals, if you think a mother cat.. or the leader of a pride of lions.. never physically disciplines younger cats you aren't seeing the same animals I am.

And to be on topic, I don't think that hitting children teaches them anything but to obey out of fear for being hit again.

Fear is not always a bad thing. For example, an extremely young child (five, etc) may not be mentally able to make the connection between a hot stove and the idea that if he touched it, it would hurt. Two options... let him touch it and possibly severely hurt himself, or spank him when he tries and cause small pain and the idea to be implanted that it would hurt.

This is the problem with the "Never hurt a child!" mindset. What is a child, how old are we talking, how to they behave, what are they as a person, what outside influences are they exposed too.. a toddler is vastly different developmentally from a five year old, who is vastly different again from a ten year old.

Human beings develop different mental capabilities at different ages. A young child may be capable of the connection between trying to do something (touch the stove) and pain (being spanked) but they may not be capable of the connection between actually doing something (touching the stove) and the result they have not experienced (severe burns).

Tapping a deaf cat for attention or physically removing it from a dangerous situation is a completely different thing, and I see nothing wrong with that. I have also been with animals all my life, and if my parents taught me one thing about them, it's that no animal will ever respond well to physical punishment. Both my parents are vets, so I am inclined to trust them.


And guess how my mother made sure I never got myself into a dangerous situation, such a touching a stove or running into the road! She never let me out of her damn sight. When I went out with her, my hand was ALWAYS in her her hand. When I was in the kitchen with her, her eyes never left me. She always kept complete control of the situation.

If a young child actually gets the chance to run out into a road or touch a stove or do something potentially dangerous to them, you have already failed in your parental duties to take care of them. No amount of spanking will make up for that.

 

[topwomble]

Did you know it's counted as assault to hit an adult? Why aren't children granted the same defence from their parents? If children only understand pain because they haven't learnt to reason or whatever, then why don't we just train dogs by hitting them? That makes sense.

Also studies have shown (i'll link 'em at the bottom) that children that are raised through corporal punishment are more likely to commit crimes. If as a parent you can only resort to your physical dominance to raise your children, then you have failed, i'm sorry.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin5.htm

According to some, studies have also shown that video games make people violent.

And yes, it is a crime to hurt an adult.. however, if one was doing so in order to prevent them causing themselves or others harm, then it would be heavily mitigated. It is also not a crime for an authority figure to subdue someone who is behaving in a dangerous or extreme manner in some situations.

Parents have that authority over their children, who they must change from barely more than animals (the state in which we are ALL brought into this world) into respectful and decent members of our society who do not kill themselves doing whatever they feel like whenever they feel like it.

Let's disregard all statistics, evidence and research from now on without looking at them! Yay!
So you're defending parents spanking their children to stop them behaving in a dangerous manner? Most spanking occurs before the age of 5! Like I said before, people can easily train dogs and other animals without corporal punishment.
Unless the child is a spychopath, there is no way that you cannot stop negative behaviour or them 'killing themselves' just by hitting them. Parents have already complete control over their child's lives anyqY. Children actually respond better to reasoning and rewarding good behaviour.