Poll: Physical Punishment Towards Children, Yay or Nay?
- Thread starter rancher of monsters
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Just take a look at the behaviour of children now; and children of previous generations.
We baby our children these days; even my generation (90s) was seriously under disciplined and spoiled.
I personally intend to use such methods for disciplining my children, and furthermore believe that such punishments should be placed back in schools, to enforce in children's minds that if you are badly behaved there are consequences for your actions.
We baby our children these days; even my generation (90s) was seriously under disciplined and spoiled.
I personally intend to use such methods for disciplining my children, and furthermore believe that such punishments should be placed back in schools, to enforce in children's minds that if you are badly behaved there are consequences for your actions.
I think a light clip wouldn't matter, just as a consequence, but I think that really hurting them would be wrong. They shouldn't be scared of the clip, it's just there for them to acknowledge what they did was wrong. I prefer a society of people who are nice because they are nice, not doing good because they are scared of otherwise.
If theyve done something bad, and you are in control of yourself then a smack is fine, but id be against anything more
It's funny that you would mention that because out of my extended family of 13 brothers/sisters/cousins the only one who has faced any serious jail time was the one who got spanked the least. granted that was because of some problems with his father as well so it's certainly up for interpetation.topwomble said:
Flaming Narwhal said:
He's a funny manIrridium said:
The idea that a parent needs to have complete control over every aspect of their child's life goes against the very objective of raising a child... to be a functional member of society that can think and act for themselves and understands action and consequence. You do not have to keep eyes on your child at all times, you need to teach it from as early as possible that doing some things will hurt them, or hurt someone else.
The problem with me trying to argue that sometimes it is needed is that anyone who doesn't believe in it seems to think I'm saying "beat the shit out of your child for sneezing!" I am not. It is however a physical and psychological FACT that children are not the same as adults. They are not as developed physically, mentally, socially or psychologically to make the same reasoning and decision making processes that adults do.
Every child is also different. Each and everyone of us can sit here and go "well I did/didn't get disciplined like that and I'm fine so the way I was raised is the right way!" but at the end of the day different circumstances and people require different approaches.
Children need both positive and negative reinforcement. They need boundaries and to be able to push those boundaries. They need encouragement and discipline, Carrot and Stick. Sometimes, simply words or non physical punishment is all that is needed. However, sometimes a tap or a spank, or physically holding a child in place even, is the best course of action.
Severe beating is not acceptable, it does nothing but harm... however, pleading and reasoning in all situations causes just as much harm.. as does constantly doing nothing but rewarding for good behaviour while not punishing bad behaviour.
The problem with me trying to argue that sometimes it is needed is that anyone who doesn't believe in it seems to think I'm saying "beat the shit out of your child for sneezing!" I am not. It is however a physical and psychological FACT that children are not the same as adults. They are not as developed physically, mentally, socially or psychologically to make the same reasoning and decision making processes that adults do.
Every child is also different. Each and everyone of us can sit here and go "well I did/didn't get disciplined like that and I'm fine so the way I was raised is the right way!" but at the end of the day different circumstances and people require different approaches.
Children need both positive and negative reinforcement. They need boundaries and to be able to push those boundaries. They need encouragement and discipline, Carrot and Stick. Sometimes, simply words or non physical punishment is all that is needed. However, sometimes a tap or a spank, or physically holding a child in place even, is the best course of action.
Severe beating is not acceptable, it does nothing but harm... however, pleading and reasoning in all situations causes just as much harm.. as does constantly doing nothing but rewarding for good behaviour while not punishing bad behaviour.
- Mar 31, 2010
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No offence but you evidently aren't very good with kids if the only way you can make them stop doing something is by hitting them. I'm able to keep good control over my little sister the vast majority of the time and I've never had to smack her.Mikeyfell said:
Also, to all you people saying "I was smacked as a child and it made me good", I wasn't smacked as a child and I turned out just as well. Research has shown that smacking likely has no positive effects and probably several negative ones, such as increased likelihood of violent behaviour.
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/125/5/e1057
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html
I'm not saying it WILL mess you up. I'm just saying it's never the best option. Smacking a person is losing control, an act of desperation. I don't blame anyone, people everywhere grew up being told that a beating was a normal punishment, everywhere in the world. But in the 50's everybody also thought smoking was a great thing to do. Now we have science, and science says smoking is a terrible habit (health wise at least). And I read about a psychologist that said beating doesn't solve anything. I can't quote it because I don't have it here so feel free to link something and prove me wrongsir.rutthed said:
Now I can't speak from experience, because I don't have any children. But I most certainly don't intend to hit them.
What I can tell you is that a 'we are very dissapointed' effected me way more a kick in the butt could ever have. Anger provokes defensive behavior, if someone gets very angry with me I just want to stand up to it and repay the favor. If someone collapses or express profound dissapointment (from a person you care about) that hits home much more effective and really gets me to consider what my behavior is causing.
and be honest, wouldn't taking away someone's Xbox for a week be muuuuuch worse then getting a smack on the behind?
[edit]case in point, the guy above me, science HO!
When I was a child, I was afraid of physical punishment, so I grew up respecting the rules. Children these days don't have that fear, and 90% of them grow up to be chav scum.
Every child deserves a belt whooping at some point in there life, some more times than others.
this time out bullshit DOES NOT WORK a child below the age of 15 does not have the reasoning capability to understand that a non threatening or non physical punishment for an action, means they shouldn't do it again, where as if the child screws up and they get the strap for it they are unlikely to screw up in the same way again.
this time out bullshit DOES NOT WORK a child below the age of 15 does not have the reasoning capability to understand that a non threatening or non physical punishment for an action, means they shouldn't do it again, where as if the child screws up and they get the strap for it they are unlikely to screw up in the same way again.
My grand parents liked to use the fly swatter when I acted up. And you know what? I'll be the first one to admit I was a bit of a brat in my youth, but at times I got in trouble over things I never actually did. But you know what's really fucking funny? One of my grandparents is extremely racist, homophobic, and prejudiced.rancher of monsters said:
Why is it my grandmother gets away with being homophobic, racist, and prejudiced while I was punished for petty crimes? I personally think it's bull shit my self. It seems when you're a child it's all right for a parent to enforce every single one of their moronic beliefs on you while we just leave them with their stupid backwards beliefs simply because 'they're old.'
If you ask me, we're disciplining the wrong people. No parent should have the power to physically hit a child because some of them will hit their child over everything and some of them will use it to enforce their own beliefs on the child, as opposed to discipline. Is your son gay? No problem! You can just beat the gayness right off of him!
So tell me, why is it all right to hit me over petty things, but it's wrong to hit my grandmother who's going out and about stripping people of their rights, their freedom, and probably contributing to a decent sized suicide rate? Her bigotry and close minded prejudiced has caused far greater suffering then both my thievery and my behaviour.
And funny enough, I don't believe the disciplining made me a better person. I suffered through some bull shit during my middle school and I was pretty much enforced to completely change my ways to adapt to the environment. At a time I used to be a brat, but I was also sociable and energetic. Now though I'm an antisocial socially awkward 20 year old guy that has trouble even getting a job because I have troubles talking to people.
I'd gladly take the former any day. So basically,
Hitting me never did anything good,
If it did do anything chances are it's what fucked me up in the first place,
And if it really did do nothing for me chances are the most it ever did was just make me feel more resentful towards my grandparents.
The reason why the government likes you disciplining your kids is because it keeps them in line, and that's exactly what the government wants. No politician gives a fuck about how smart you are, they give a fuck about how well you can do what they tell you to. If they gave a fuck about an informed population then they wouldn't have Fox News, Drudge Report, or any other biased news souces. (I never watched MSN BC so I honestly don't know if it's biased or not. From what I've heard though it's basically the liberal equivilant of Fox)If they gave a fuck about an informed population, they would spend more on education.
But would you look at that, they don't. Instead they spend money on the military. Because no politician wants a thriving, intelligent population. They want dead soldiers. Disciplined dead soldiers. They don't want a moral, intelligent population. They want a lawful, obediant population. A population that does what they're told, but not what's right.
And in supporting hitting a child we're only supporting that it's all right to enforce our dumbass beliefs on a child. Behaviours should be promoted, not enforced. Because in hitting them we're only indoctrinating them to follow a certain behaviour. And as I stated before, if we're allowed to hit a child over doing something wrong then there's nothing stopping some parents from hitting their child over something they morally disagree with.
As a child, growing up, I suffered both what I would call mild abuse, and deserved spankings. My uncle watched my brother and I on several occasions as a young child while my parents were both working. I know the demographic of Escapist readers tends to be a bit younger, but if anyone remembers, they used to have 8 packs of Coca-Cola in 16oz glass bottles. They were quite heavy when full, especially to a 4 or 5 year old child that I was at the time. I was using every ounce of strength that I had to carry one in after grocery shopping with my uncle one time, but I couldn't hold on to it the full way and when it slipped out of my hands, 3 of the bottles broke and spilled out their delicious Coke insides on the pavement. My uncle decided that the appropriate punishment for that would be to spank my naked bare bottom with a belt treated with rubbing alcohol several times. I would count that to be abusive. There were maybe 2 or 3 other occasions in which he beat me that I don't fully recall, but that one really sticks out.
My parents on the other hand, would spank me a handful of times over my childhood, usually for deserved things (starting fires, etc). There was never anytime where I thought I was being treated unfairly by them. By the time I was 10-12, my mother stopped spanking us, and groundings became the punishment of the day until I left home.
As far as violence in my life, I've been in one physical altercation in my adult life (I'm 35), and that was in college when I was drunk and mouthing off when I shouldn't have been. I abhor violence, and consider myself to be mostly a pacifist. The only time I'd consider violence is in the defending of myself or a loved one that was in danger.
I told myself if I had kids I'd probably try to not spank them, but as I've grown older my views on that have changed somewhat. One of my good friends is a non-spanker, and his now teenage son is a terror. Doesn't listen, doesn't care...I'm sure that's how many teens are, but there is such a lack of respect it's kinda sad, really.
I've come to believe that in order to get the child to respect you throughout his/her childhood that a good dose of fear is required at times. And, if you're a non-spanker, it's hard to generate that fear. If you utilize spanking at least once or twice...at least enough for them to know that you'll carry out the threat, usually after that the threat is all you'll need.
Not that I care that much, I've decided never to have kids.
My parents on the other hand, would spank me a handful of times over my childhood, usually for deserved things (starting fires, etc). There was never anytime where I thought I was being treated unfairly by them. By the time I was 10-12, my mother stopped spanking us, and groundings became the punishment of the day until I left home.
As far as violence in my life, I've been in one physical altercation in my adult life (I'm 35), and that was in college when I was drunk and mouthing off when I shouldn't have been. I abhor violence, and consider myself to be mostly a pacifist. The only time I'd consider violence is in the defending of myself or a loved one that was in danger.
I told myself if I had kids I'd probably try to not spank them, but as I've grown older my views on that have changed somewhat. One of my good friends is a non-spanker, and his now teenage son is a terror. Doesn't listen, doesn't care...I'm sure that's how many teens are, but there is such a lack of respect it's kinda sad, really.
I've come to believe that in order to get the child to respect you throughout his/her childhood that a good dose of fear is required at times. And, if you're a non-spanker, it's hard to generate that fear. If you utilize spanking at least once or twice...at least enough for them to know that you'll carry out the threat, usually after that the threat is all you'll need.
Not that I care that much, I've decided never to have kids.
I'm a supporter of phsyical punishment. It's a good way to teach children what they should and should not do when they will not listen to thier parents.
For example, I was in a restaurant recently and a little kid was screaming their head off for dessert when their parents said no. The parents didn't take their kid out of the restaraunt, they just let it scream. Taking the child and giving them a swat on the butt would've let them know that you can't scream like that and if they did it again more punishment would follow.
For example, I was in a restaurant recently and a little kid was screaming their head off for dessert when their parents said no. The parents didn't take their kid out of the restaraunt, they just let it scream. Taking the child and giving them a swat on the butt would've let them know that you can't scream like that and if they did it again more punishment would follow.
I personally wouldn't use it at all, but as for everyone else, I think the lightest lightest tap is sometimes acceptable, but anything beyond that is just bad parenting. It's not just because of how much it hurts, but also how it traumatizes the kid on a mental level. 50% of the time it causes a child to resent their parents for it in later life, and the other 50% they just remain respectful to their parents because they've been brainwashed into it since a very early age and wouldn't dream of disrespecting their parents in any way no matter what! Children shouldn't be taught to be obedient, they should be co-operative, the difference being that they respect their parents naturally because their parents have been such good parents that there's no reason for them to not want to, instead of just being scared into it by an 'obedience or pain' regime. And no, it's not even acceptable when the child's been physically violent instead of just disobedient, because there's no way you can teach a child that violence is wrong while you're using it on them. Giving a child mixed messages like that just alienates them further.
We used mousetraps and a water spray bottle to teach our cat to stay off the countertops. It worked great. For our dog we trained them the same way. When we werent around the dog would raise all sorts of hell and we used rat traps on the sofas. When we were around we would make sure to raise our voices and generally a bop on the nose with a newspaper would help him understand that gnawing on shoes was wrong. Your assuming that beating an animal and using physical presence and a slight bit of force are the same thing.Nachtmahr said:
For children, spanking works just fine, or at least it has for as long as children have played with matches in the garage or acted out in a store or restaurant.