Poll: Physical Punishment Towards Children, Yay or Nay?

[Orpheus III]

No. Under no fucking circumstances should you be allowed to do to a minor what is illegal to do to an adult.

 

[orangeban]

No, because children should not think, "I will not do this or I will be punished."
They should think, "I will not do this, because this is wrong."

Edit: And children should not fear their parents. That's just stupid, forcing people to live with people they're scared of.
Seriously, I can't hit an adult, so why should I get to hit a child?

 

[JWAN]

it has been scientifically proven that physical punishment has no positive reinforcing effect. It only makes the child fear punishment and thus be sneaky about it.

it also has a negative impact on how the child learns conflicts are to be resolved

Quoted for truth, end of thread! *Looks at poll* Oh dear. I guess people don't want things like scientific evidence to keep them from smacking their kids. I has a sad.

I agree to a point.
Spanking is negative reinforcement. Sure rewarding kids for doing good things is great and is more beneficial but ignoring a kid or not having any punishments beyond grounding is just as much as a detriment and I worked with abused kids. Basically the parents would not have any rules and tried to be the kids friend. Then when the kid really started to get out of control they would start laying down the law with weak rules like groundings and this would only confuse the kid and or make them more angry. Then they would go way too far (out of exacerbation, stupidity and because of their own failures as a parent to establish ground rules) and just beat the ever-loving shit out of them.

If the kid acts out in a store and is throwing stuff then a spanking is in order. If they accidentally drop something then you obviously shouldn't hit them for it but you should make them clean it up (if its safe for them to do so.) There are different situations and not all of them call for spankings but you cant just ground a kid for everything they do.

I think its a balance thing.
(edited for my crappy spelling, and for clarification)

 

[kittii-chan 300]

i wouldnt ever it my child for fear of hurting them and if someone else physicaly punished i would hurt them.

 

[Treaos Serrare]

No. Under no fucking circumstances should you be allowed to do to a minor what is illegal to do to an adult.

We aren't talking about a Rodney King beating, We are talking about disciplining a child who has misbehaved or outright done harm to someone or something.

and no it has not been "scientifically proven" that physical discipline has no effect, anything that says otherwise is bullshit and lies, if i tell you not to take a cookie and you do then the ensuing spanking with a belt, hand or flyswatter handle will discourage you from disobeying me again THAT is a proven fact. it worked for centuries, now all of a sudden it doesn't? that's bull shit and everyone knows it's bullshit

 

[Avistew]

I don't think I'm better for having been spanked a couple of times as a kid, but I don't think my parents should have gone to prison or paid a fine for it, and that's what would have happened if it was illegal (or I would have been taken away from them or something).

I think it's better to do without, but if you do in some circumstances I wouldn't say it makes you a criminal. I remember being spanked twice, once after I endangered my life, a second time after I endangered my and my cousin's. I can see how my parents were completely freaking out and not thinking and it led them to use violence, as it seemed to them the only way to stop me from doing it again.

When you're a kid, it can seem very unfair (I didn't do it on purpose. Knowing the risks, I wouldn't have done it again) but I knew my parents were good people who worried about me, so physical punishment meant to me "this is serious business" when they weren't able to explain it to me otherwise.

From the time you grow a bit and can understand why you shouldn't do things and it can be explained to you, I don't believe violence is ever the way to go, I don't believe it helps and I believe it can make things worse. Some level of violence in a fight is to be expected (if your kid punches you, I wouldn't expect you not to fight back) but as a punishment I don't believe in it.

I also don't think objects should ever be involved. No belts, no spoons, no books. I think when you hit your child you should feel the pain as well. If their behind or face hurts, your hand should too.

 

[The Lesbian Flower]

No, because children should not think, "I will not do this or I will be punished."
They should think, "I will not do this, because this is wrong."

What if they are not old enough to think "I will not do this, because this is wrong" and they act out or do something that is dangerous to themselves or others? How would they learn what to stay away from or what is innapropriate if they cannot reason?

 

[orangeban]

No. Under no fucking circumstances should you be allowed to do to a minor what is illegal to do to an adult.

We aren't talking about a Rodney King beating, We are talking about disciplining a child who has misbehaved or outright done harm to someone or something.

So? I can't hit another adult with a belt on the hand or anything, it doesn't matter how "severe" the punishment is, it'd be illegal to do so to another adult. What's illegal is illegal, and you shouldn't do what is illegal.

 

[JWAN]

No. Under no fucking circumstances should you be allowed to do to a minor what is illegal to do to an adult.

We aren't talking about a Rodney King beating, We are talking about disciplining a child who has misbehaved or outright done harm to someone or something.

and no it has not been "scientifically proven" that physical discipline has no effect, anything that says otherwise is bullshit and lies, if i tell you not to take a cookie and you do then the ensuing spanking with a belt, hand or flyswatter handle will discourage you from disobeying me again THAT is a proven fact. it worked for centuries, now all of a sudden it doesn't? that's bull shit and everyone knows it's bullshit

^This.

YOu need to have rules and you need to enforce them. Not every situation calls for a spanking but not every situation calls for PC hippie bullshit either. If you dont have rules the kid wont learn the importance of rules. If you choose to enforce rules randomly you will only confuse them or make them angry. Just make the call yourself. If your kid starts throwing stuff in public or raising hell in a restaurant then you should just skip the pep talk and go right to the spanking. If they do something accidentally like drop a drink then obviously we all know you dont need to spank them.
Its about balance and basic rules.

 

[orangeban]

No, because children should not think, "I will not do this or I will be punished."
They should think, "I will not do this, because this is wrong."

What if they are not old enough to think "I will not do this, because this is wrong" and they act out or do something that is dangerous to themselves or others? How would they learn what to stay away from or what is innapropriate if they cannot reason?

Well, obviously they did not understand what they were doing was wrong. If you leave me in a room with a button and I press the button and you rush in and shout at me for it despite giving me no reason to think pressing the button was wrong, I've done nothing wrong. If a child does something because they do not understand not to do it, it's cruel to punish them, they need taught that what they have done is wrong. And children don't need to understand the details of human morality to do this, they simply need to think, "Mummy/Daddy/Whoever doesn't want me to do this because it might hurt me/someone else." which is not difficult to grasp.

If a child tries to stick their finger in an electric socket and you stop them, do you then hit them? Of course not, they didn't understand they were in the wrong, instead you educate them about electric sockets. Do they same for other things.

 

[the_honey_badger]

I wouldn't vote against the idea of bringing it back into schools. But I don't know if it would cause more trouble than it's worth.

 

[The Lesbian Flower]

No, because children should not think, "I will not do this or I will be punished."
They should think, "I will not do this, because this is wrong."

What if they are not old enough to think "I will not do this, because this is wrong" and they act out or do something that is dangerous to themselves or others? How would they learn what to stay away from or what is innapropriate if they cannot reason?

Well, obviously they did not understand what they were doing was wrong. If you leave me in a room with a button and I press the button and you rush in and shout at me for it despite giving me no reason to think pressing the button was wrong, I've done nothing wrong. If a child does something because they do not understand not to do it, it's cruel to punish them, they need taught that what they have done is wrong. And children don't need to understand the details of human morality to do this, they simply need to think, "Mummy/Daddy/Whoever doesn't want me to do this because it might hurt me/someone else." which is not difficult to grasp.

If a child tries to stick their finger in an electric socket and you stop them, do you then hit them? Of course not, they didn't understand they were in the wrong, instead you educate them about electric sockets. Do they same for other things.

I can see that. But then you could get into the situation of "they know, they just don't care". So what if a child knew something was wrong/dangerous but didn't care and kept doing it? How would we teach them they CANNOT keep doing what they've been doing if they don't listen to what we say?

Also, I have stuck stuff in the electrical socket xD It was only after my parents told me not to and I had never even thought about it previously. Getting electrical burns taught me not to ever do it again.

 

[Ancientgamer]

I just can't stand the arrogance of people who are proud that they hit their kids. Like "He was mouthing off to me so I smacked him, and ya know what? He never did it again." You fucking think? Kids aren't damn products, you don't just smack 'em until they start working properly. It's like unplugging your fridge cause it was making a buzzing noise, and declaring "Hey, I got it to stop buzzing!" Yeah, but now everything's rotten inside. Seriously, what kind of idiot just hits their kid?

 

[cameron196789]

Yes to a degree, you see parents walking around shopping centers and there kid is whiny and the parent just gives the kid what he/she wants, and i'm just thinking "what the hell" your meant to be the one in control the the kid. You can always tell if a parent has applied discipline or not by the way kids act, I was apart of a scouts church group for a year a couple of years ago, and it was the worst, most of the church boys were really bad and swore a lot once the parents left and acted like A-holes, and you could tell why "oh, I could never lay a hand on my son" were not saying you have to leave a permanent mark, but make the kid know that he is in the wrong, otherwise they just grow up to continue being an ass that everyone hates.

 

[orangeban]

No, because children should not think, "I will not do this or I will be punished."
They should think, "I will not do this, because this is wrong."

What if they are not old enough to think "I will not do this, because this is wrong" and they act out or do something that is dangerous to themselves or others? How would they learn what to stay away from or what is innapropriate if they cannot reason?

Well, obviously they did not understand what they were doing was wrong. If you leave me in a room with a button and I press the button and you rush in and shout at me for it despite giving me no reason to think pressing the button was wrong, I've done nothing wrong. If a child does something because they do not understand not to do it, it's cruel to punish them, they need taught that what they have done is wrong. And children don't need to understand the details of human morality to do this, they simply need to think, "Mummy/Daddy/Whoever doesn't want me to do this because it might hurt me/someone else." which is not difficult to grasp.

If a child tries to stick their finger in an electric socket and you stop them, do you then hit them? Of course not, they didn't understand they were in the wrong, instead you educate them about electric sockets. Do they same for other things.

I can see that. But then you could get into the situation of "they know, they just don't care". So what if a child knew something was wrong/dangerous but didn't care and kept doing it? How would we teach them they CANNOT keep doing what they've been doing if they don't listen to what we say?

Also, I have stuck stuff in the electrical socket xD It was only after my parents told me not to and I had never even thought about it previously. Getting electrical burns taught me not to ever do it again.

Well, you just have to try to explain.

Y'know, there are a lot of similarities between prison and child-raising (now hear me out on this one). There are really two school of thoughts on how we should treat prisoners/children. One says that we should punish them, beat them/jail them/hard labour them until they stop doing it. Another says that we should rehabilitate/educate them into understanding why they shouldn't do it. And you may say, "my child is a amoral dickhole, who doesn't care about others," but you explain things on their terms.

"If you do this, people won't like you, and people who don't like won't want to be around you and you'll end up with no friends." Use that line of argument if explaining why it's wrong doesn't work. After reasoning comes explaining how they lose out. Not hitting.

 

[MordinSolus]

I'm no parent, and my parents never used physical force, but I personally don't like being punched. Plus, I'm sure being whipped with a belt isn't exactly fun.

 

[Treaos Serrare]

I just can't stand the arrogance of people who are proud that they hit their kids. Like "He was mouthing off to me so I smacked him, and ya know what? He never did it again." You fucking think? Kids aren't damn products, you don't just smack 'em until they start working properly. It's like unplugging your fridge cause it was making a buzzing noise, and declaring "Hey, I got it to stop buzzing!" Yeah, but now everything's rotten inside. Seriously, what kind of idiot just hits their kid?

time outs and "talking to them" Doesn't work and never will, at least pre 16, then it has the chance to work because the kid can reason, anytime before that you need to act on the baser instincts of the human animal such as pain= don't do that.

 

[Alcamonic]

I approve of spanking / correcting a child when it misbehaves.
I think that anyone who disapprove is either ignorant or have some magical way of dealing with children, some ability that not many seem to have.
The lack of respect from today's young people is insane (mainly talking about those below the age of 13), they fuck about, hit other people, create a mess in public. While their parents say something along the lines of "Sorry, he/she is a bit difficult". No, he/she is not difficult, it's you who are unable to control your kid and make it so that he/she has some sort of respect and a clue about what is right or wrong.

I was spanked or corrected in other ways (grounded, removal of entertainment objects such as toys/tv) while I was young and it sure made me think twice before misbehaving or being rude towards people. Also gave me a strong moral view of what is right and wrong, something that sure as hell is lacking among many today.

 

[anthony87]

I say no.
If a parent is only capable to dealing with a child by smacking them, they are unfit to have them.

So then what would you recommend?

 

[Nachtmahr]

Smacking, with or without force, a dog or a cat doesn't help teach them right from wrong.

And if it's wrong and pointless to do to an animal, it sure as hell is wrong to do it to a child.

We used mousetraps and a water spray bottle to teach our cat to stay off the countertops. It worked great. For our dog we trained them the same way. When we werent around the dog would raise all sorts of hell and we used rat traps on the sofas. When we were around we would make sure to raise our voices and generally a bop on the nose with a newspaper would help him understand that gnawing on shoes was wrong. Your assuming that beating an animal and using physical presence and a slight bit of force are the same thing.

For children, spanking works just fine, or at least it has for as long as children have played with matches in the garage or acted out in a store or restaurant.

I quite simply think that no use of force at all is required to train animals. Neither raising your voice to them, nor using some kind of implement to deter them. I trained all my animals using positive reinforcement only, and I'm quite proud that they are perfectly behaved. I am confident to leave them in the house alone if needed, and I never came home to find they did something they shouldn't have. I prefer this method because I feel it helps me develop a stronger bond with my cats and dog.

And as I said before, if children are ever allowed to get into a situation where they can play with matches or feel like they need to act out in a restaurant, then the parents have already failed for putting them into such a situation. I never acted out in restaurants, nor did I play with matches or other dangerous objects. Being a good parent is all about keeping control of your children until they are old enough to think for themselves and realise what behaviours are appropriate and what aren't.

Spanking is for parents who weren't being good parents and need a quick fix solution.