I always wanted to try rants. Khell_Sennet used to do them. I'm not sure if he still does. However, if this statement is proven false, leave me some links to his rants. I miss those.
As you can see, my name is Random Argument Man. I've been more random than before. However, I want to take my place as the man who has arguments. To do this, I'm going to poke at the logic of something that people hate, love or ignore. There's no better place on the Internet to find materials. In fact, I can simply look here.
How does this work? It's pretty simple. I start by giving a small summary of the situation. I continue by pointing out the problem and explaining it. I finish by asking you a question. You can question, argue or blow my argument to a planet of your choice. I'm doing this to improve my English skills and my "pointing where you should have a thought here" skills.
Oh right, the subject of today!
The hate for Twilight is well known within the Escapist website. Let me correct that. A good portion of the Internet hates Twilight. That's seems to fit the situation. However, its popularity is enormous with girls and desperate men. As we all know, it's a love story between non-threatening vampire Edward Cullen and questionable intelligence Bella Swan. It's a series of books by Stephenie Meyers. There are a few things that the series is known for: like its fans, its mythology, its love story etc. Our focus today is one thing and one thing only: vampires. Note* Let it be known that i've never read more than 30 lines of a Twilight book. Therefore, you can correct me at any given time. However, i've seen the first movie. Although, books always tend to explain more.
What is a vampire? A vampire is a corpse that rises at night to drink the blood of the living. Vampires are known for many works in fiction. Dracula, Hellsing, Blade and others are popular. Most of them have the abilities of teleportation, transformation, speed, mind reading etc. They are also known to be fierce, brutal and unforgiving creatures.
The twilight vampires are known for controversy in the popular culture. They tend to blend in with humans and they're very subtle. As we can see with the story of Twilight, they tend to be nicer to some extent. Why the hate? Why is it a controversy? I could mention several reasons why Twilight is a bit controversial and hated by many. However, I can summarize Twilight with a simple picture.
I'm evil ain't I? Sure, the story is mediocre. The characters are boring. However, this is not the object of this poking. Notice that Edward is sparkling in the rainbow picture? It's not only for comical effect. In fact, it declares something more important. Twilight vampires are sparkling like diamonds when they're met with daylight. Yes, you can say this. I don't know why they sparkle. I'm hoping someone will clarify this to me.
Here's the kicker.
People are quick to give their opinions. In the folkloric description of a vampire, there's one thing that never changed: Vampire turns into a nice BBQ when they meet daylight. They don't even leave any meat! However, Twilight vampires are sparkling like a clown's glitter. In every Twilight hate thread, you'll see this description. People tend to stop there. They don't add anything else. However, sparkling in daylight isn't really a strength. It's actually a weakness. Don't believe me? Van Hellsing says otherwise.
I've always wondered to myself if the Twilight vampires have any strengths. So I did a little research on the Internet. I founded that those vampires are actually fast, strong and have many other attributes. Wait a second...They sound like actual vampires. How are they different?
Ooooo! The juicy explanation part!
Vampires in general have many weaknesses. Sunlight, garlic, religious artifacts and wooden stakes could be used to kill them. Those weaknesses are shown in Bram Stoker's Dracula. One attribute that's been generally forgotten is that vampires can't enter a house unless it is invited. However, the film "Let the right one in" managed to remind us of that weakness. However, they're still killing machines that eat you alive in a matter of seconds.
Twilight vampires have very few weaknesses. Holy water, crosses and garlic won't do any harm to them. Therefore, they can go to church and cook diner for Easter. They have reflections with mirrors and they show up on pictures. You can get them drunk and post their pictures on Facebook or another social website. (I don't know if they can get drunk. This sentence is here for comical effect) Wooden stakes can't kill them. This means that Buffy the vampire slayer is useless. They also have no needs for sleeping. As you can see, they don't have any of the weaknesses of the previous vampires.
There's only one known weakness: werewolves. Werewolves are the competition in the "seducing hot and dumb human girls" department. Vampires and werewolves are at war to get their sexual needs. I always wondered why werewolves, with no shirts, try to seduce human girls. Think of a female werewolf for a second. That's right you pervert.
Note* The previous paragraph is mostly for comical purpose. Although, topless werewolf-women should be a no-brainer for those dumb werewolves. Then again, men have a soft spot for powerless woman. Contrary to tough girls, dumb girls won't even try to push feminism. (Ok, that's edgy. Don't take it seriously.)
However, we can still assume there's other form of weaknesses that applies to the Twilight vampires. A vampire can be killed by decapitation. We can assume that the Twilight vampires can get killed if we chop their pretty little heads off. We can still dismember it. We haven't tried burning the vampire either. Those possibilities are only the tip of the iceberg. If we do a little research, we can find a lot more possibilities of weaknesses to the Twilight vampires.
What? It's already the conclusion?
Yes, it's already the end. It was short, but at least I hope that I poked something. Even though Twilight vampires are shiny, they're actually stronger than most vampires. They have less weaknesses too.I would add another weakness to the list. However, this weakness won't kill them. They're actually stuck in a bad story with the worst example of their race. Note* However, let's not kid ourselves. Alucard from the Hellsing manga/anime is the strongest vampire in every work of fiction. PERIOD.
It's questioning time! Knowing that Twilight vampires are actually stronger than actual vampires, would you become a Twilight vampire? Did this "poking at the argument" shown you a new light about Twilight vampires? Would you suggest another subject to poke at? Did you like this poking? Note* You can add any suggestions to help too.
Final Note* I would like to thank Incredible Bullshitting man for helping me with this. Here's a dollar for a coke.
As you can see, my name is Random Argument Man. I've been more random than before. However, I want to take my place as the man who has arguments. To do this, I'm going to poke at the logic of something that people hate, love or ignore. There's no better place on the Internet to find materials. In fact, I can simply look here.
How does this work? It's pretty simple. I start by giving a small summary of the situation. I continue by pointing out the problem and explaining it. I finish by asking you a question. You can question, argue or blow my argument to a planet of your choice. I'm doing this to improve my English skills and my "pointing where you should have a thought here" skills.
Oh right, the subject of today!
The hate for Twilight is well known within the Escapist website. Let me correct that. A good portion of the Internet hates Twilight. That's seems to fit the situation. However, its popularity is enormous with girls and desperate men. As we all know, it's a love story between non-threatening vampire Edward Cullen and questionable intelligence Bella Swan. It's a series of books by Stephenie Meyers. There are a few things that the series is known for: like its fans, its mythology, its love story etc. Our focus today is one thing and one thing only: vampires. Note* Let it be known that i've never read more than 30 lines of a Twilight book. Therefore, you can correct me at any given time. However, i've seen the first movie. Although, books always tend to explain more.
What is a vampire? A vampire is a corpse that rises at night to drink the blood of the living. Vampires are known for many works in fiction. Dracula, Hellsing, Blade and others are popular. Most of them have the abilities of teleportation, transformation, speed, mind reading etc. They are also known to be fierce, brutal and unforgiving creatures.
The twilight vampires are known for controversy in the popular culture. They tend to blend in with humans and they're very subtle. As we can see with the story of Twilight, they tend to be nicer to some extent. Why the hate? Why is it a controversy? I could mention several reasons why Twilight is a bit controversial and hated by many. However, I can summarize Twilight with a simple picture.
I'm evil ain't I? Sure, the story is mediocre. The characters are boring. However, this is not the object of this poking. Notice that Edward is sparkling in the rainbow picture? It's not only for comical effect. In fact, it declares something more important. Twilight vampires are sparkling like diamonds when they're met with daylight. Yes, you can say this. I don't know why they sparkle. I'm hoping someone will clarify this to me.
Here's the kicker.
People are quick to give their opinions. In the folkloric description of a vampire, there's one thing that never changed: Vampire turns into a nice BBQ when they meet daylight. They don't even leave any meat! However, Twilight vampires are sparkling like a clown's glitter. In every Twilight hate thread, you'll see this description. People tend to stop there. They don't add anything else. However, sparkling in daylight isn't really a strength. It's actually a weakness. Don't believe me? Van Hellsing says otherwise.
I've always wondered to myself if the Twilight vampires have any strengths. So I did a little research on the Internet. I founded that those vampires are actually fast, strong and have many other attributes. Wait a second...They sound like actual vampires. How are they different?
Ooooo! The juicy explanation part!
Vampires in general have many weaknesses. Sunlight, garlic, religious artifacts and wooden stakes could be used to kill them. Those weaknesses are shown in Bram Stoker's Dracula. One attribute that's been generally forgotten is that vampires can't enter a house unless it is invited. However, the film "Let the right one in" managed to remind us of that weakness. However, they're still killing machines that eat you alive in a matter of seconds.
Twilight vampires have very few weaknesses. Holy water, crosses and garlic won't do any harm to them. Therefore, they can go to church and cook diner for Easter. They have reflections with mirrors and they show up on pictures. You can get them drunk and post their pictures on Facebook or another social website. (I don't know if they can get drunk. This sentence is here for comical effect) Wooden stakes can't kill them. This means that Buffy the vampire slayer is useless. They also have no needs for sleeping. As you can see, they don't have any of the weaknesses of the previous vampires.
There's only one known weakness: werewolves. Werewolves are the competition in the "seducing hot and dumb human girls" department. Vampires and werewolves are at war to get their sexual needs. I always wondered why werewolves, with no shirts, try to seduce human girls. Think of a female werewolf for a second. That's right you pervert.
Note* The previous paragraph is mostly for comical purpose. Although, topless werewolf-women should be a no-brainer for those dumb werewolves. Then again, men have a soft spot for powerless woman. Contrary to tough girls, dumb girls won't even try to push feminism. (Ok, that's edgy. Don't take it seriously.)
However, we can still assume there's other form of weaknesses that applies to the Twilight vampires. A vampire can be killed by decapitation. We can assume that the Twilight vampires can get killed if we chop their pretty little heads off. We can still dismember it. We haven't tried burning the vampire either. Those possibilities are only the tip of the iceberg. If we do a little research, we can find a lot more possibilities of weaknesses to the Twilight vampires.
What? It's already the conclusion?
Yes, it's already the end. It was short, but at least I hope that I poked something. Even though Twilight vampires are shiny, they're actually stronger than most vampires. They have less weaknesses too.I would add another weakness to the list. However, this weakness won't kill them. They're actually stuck in a bad story with the worst example of their race. Note* However, let's not kid ourselves. Alucard from the Hellsing manga/anime is the strongest vampire in every work of fiction. PERIOD.
It's questioning time! Knowing that Twilight vampires are actually stronger than actual vampires, would you become a Twilight vampire? Did this "poking at the argument" shown you a new light about Twilight vampires? Would you suggest another subject to poke at? Did you like this poking? Note* You can add any suggestions to help too.
Final Note* I would like to thank Incredible Bullshitting man for helping me with this. Here's a dollar for a coke.
