Poll: Should people wait until they're married to have sex?

[Macgyvercas]

Far be it from me to tell other people how to live their lives. I choose not to have sex until either I'm married or I'm in a serious relationship and I'm 110% sure I'm going to marry that person. But that's just my stance, and I don't think I'm in any place to impose it on anyone else. If people to to fuck until their genitals rot, that's fine by me. I really don't care. The only person I have to worry about right now regarding this is me.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Also, the maths earlier in the thread is beautiful, could have only been better if it included a positive epsilon much smaller than 1.

... but it didn't consider lesbians... =P

OT: In the words of Russell Peters 'whatever makes you happy, man!'

Personally, though... no. Marriage is an idea concocted by religious and political institutions that creates a certain stigma towards singletons of a certain age and above. With that in mind, in the words of Andy Hamilton 'a marriage... is just a divorce that hasn't happened yet!'

Besides, there're a lot of cohibating couples who basically are married in all but name and I don't think they particularly need an overpriced ceremony to indulge.

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

Legislation, societal pressures, and familial scorn shouldn't be reasons behind it, but I do think it is a good idea.

Maybe it's because I'm not a base hedonist, but chastity does display a great deal of discipline, and is very telling about the kind of personality the person has, regardless of their religious or philosophical leanings.


EDIT:

The only point of sex is to have children

If you had any grasp of the real world, you'd know that's an outright lie. Sex is partly for the purposes of having children, but also for the purposes of pleasure/connection between two people. I could easily say some rhetoric here about how animals have sex for pleasure as well, but that's part of the reason I didn't want to get into this argument.

No, sex is for the purpose of having children, it just feels good as an evolutionary measure to ensure creatures do it. It's the same reason creatures from reptiles-up fertilize internally rather than externally.

 

[DSQ]

God why do we have to get into these talks again and again, you can only look at these types of things in a case by case basis.

For example if two people are together in a commited relatioship then who cares what they do in there spare time. Sex is mainly for pleasure anyway and as Lily Alans 'Not Fair' song points out sex is a very important part of a relationship and can be a make or break factor. Personally I would want to know before I make a commitment like marriage that they are caring lover. But that is just me.

I think children are a bigger comitment than marriage any way so I am a believer in safe sex but what people get up to in their relationships is no consern of mine.

If it is against your religion then fine, but I don't see why some people think they should place there views on sex and the like on other people. I'll do as I please in my relationship and you do the same.

 

[Crazy_Dude]

It is your religion and your own choice to do so. That doesn't mean the rest should follow the same standards.

 

[tobyornottoby]

having children outside of marriage can cause serious problems

That's not marriage, that's relationship. What about a single ceremonial day makes two people more responsible? If you mean they should be in a proper relationship before they have children, then that's partly correct, but that's just an ideal - I have many friends with single parents through one of them dying who have turned out just fine. Honestly, I think the correlation between failed relationships and child upbringing lies more in the fact that if someone is irresponsible enough to have an unwanted child (not to offend anyone, I am aware that a lot of the time unwanted children occur ENTIRELY by accident) then they're not responsible enough to bring one up.

It's a matter of responsibility rather than outright banning.

Where I am from, this is simply not the case. As I said, its all about location, and my location, you would be hard pressed to find somebody in their 2+ marriage and/or havent been married 20+ years. So call me old fashion. I am. And I love it that way. Me and my girlfriend BOTH think this way:

No sex before marriage. Once married, you stay married except in extreme cases. You raise your children on these same principals, just as we were.

And pretty much the only way to GUAREENTE no unwanted children is just to abstain from sex until you want them.

The only way to GUAREENTE not getting hit by a car is just to never cross the road, but crossing roads is useful. Life is full of 1% risks all the time.

Why would you "hate society has made sex outside of marriage to be a good thing"? Shouldn't everyone just be free to live the way they wanted?

 

[monkey_man]

No, people should have sex when they are ready. But not in the current day to day sense of ready.
I think people should be willing to give their lives for their partner, before they can have sex. Not today where it's just asked.

 

[tobyornottoby]

Legislation, societal pressures, and familial scorn shouldn't be reasons behind it, but I do think it is a good idea.

Maybe it's because I'm not a base hedonist, but chastity does display a great deal of discipline, and is very telling about the kind of personality the person has, regardless of their religious or philosophical leanings.


EDIT:

The only point of sex is to have children

If you had any grasp of the real world, you'd know that's an outright lie. Sex is partly for the purposes of having children, but also for the purposes of pleasure/connection between two people. I could easily say some rhetoric here about how animals have sex for pleasure as well, but that's part of the reason I didn't want to get into this argument.

No, sex is for the purpose of having children, it just feels good as an evolutionary measure to ensure creatures do it. It's the same reason creatures from reptiles-up fertilize internally rather than externally.

The way sex is USED in society is not just for that one intended purpose though.
There's a difference here between 'intended purpose' and, I guess, 'applied purpose'.
Cough medicine might have one intended purpose, but that doesn't exclude it from being used for other purposes, etc.

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Sex while awesome, is for a reason. reproduction. people are having sex before their able to take care of these kids and because of their raised under poor means, and usually by 1 parent. This plus the fact that VD is hugely rampant. Sex is best for those married, and you shouldn't be married till you have the means to support yourself.

 

[thylasos]

Given my view that marriage is basically pointless, I'd imagine you can extrapolate my view on pre-marital sex.

 

[MisterM2402]

I never really knew what these "religious reasons" were, so I had a look around the webs for an explanation - the first "reason" I see is "Because God commands it". He commands it, ok, but WHY does he command it?

Anyone care to explain any *proper* religious reasons, rather than an "it just IS, ok?!" approach? Surely there are some, I'm not seeing.

 

[trooper6]

My mother said to me and my sister...not only should you have sex with a person before you marry them, you should also live with them before you marry them. Marriage is a really serious thing. Not only as a thing if you believe in marriage, but also legally. My mother said you should know someone completely before you do it, and you can't know someone completely if you haven't had sex with them or lived with them, or been dating them over a year, etc.

My mother and father after having lived together for years before marriage, after having two kids together...stayed together in sickness and in health as long as they both lived. Only my mothers death after a long illness separated the after almost 40 years.

On the other hand, I was in the army with lots of people who didn't believe in sex before marriage, or living with each other before marriage. They were almost all of them divorced within two years of marriage...after having two kids of course.

People can do whatever they want in their own life, but I would never date someone who doesn't believe in sex before marriage. That is a big red warning flag for me.

 

[darkman80723]

Its a stupid idea. You are wanting to tie your life to this person forever, yet you do this before youve gone to bed. I dunno about you but I always test drive the car before the down payment.

 

[Fearzone]

If you are under 18 then yes.

 

[Natdaprat]

If you follow a set of rules written by people with promises of reward, sure, don't have sex until married.

 

[Kelethor]

OK, so you claim there would be less STDs and less accidental pregnancies. Now I live in a country where HIV is nearly unheard of and we have very few accidental children. This must mean my country is all about holding off sex until after marriage, right? Far from it.
Recent research shows we have the most one night stands in all of Europe and that 70% of those who have had one will have more.

Now why don't we have a ton of STDs you may ask. Because we educate our youth on practicing safe sex from the age of 15-16 and most know enough even before that. Holding off until marriage wont change much. What needs to change is the social structure and the education of sex.

sorry if this is a personal question but, what country are you from?

(Must plan drunken summer getaway with European women)

 

[triggrhappy94]

The only reason why the no sex before marriage thing was ever important was because of property.
Ancient people needed to make sure that their new bride wasn't already pregnant with someone else's son. This might not seem to important, but when the husband/father dies the other man's son will inherit everything, while the real kids get the smaller shares of the estate if not nothing at all.
Very holy and wholesome.

 

[Zaverexus]

I dont think one has to wait until marriage, but I would prefer to wait for someone I really love and at least could see myself marrying.
That's just me, to each his own.

 

[Yopaz]

OK, so you claim there would be less STDs and less accidental pregnancies. Now I live in a country where HIV is nearly unheard of and we have very few accidental children. This must mean my country is all about holding off sex until after marriage, right? Far from it.
Recent research shows we have the most one night stands in all of Europe and that 70% of those who have had one will have more.

Now why don't we have a ton of STDs you may ask. Because we educate our youth on practicing safe sex from the age of 15-16 and most know enough even before that. Holding off until marriage wont change much. What needs to change is the social structure and the education of sex.

sorry if this is a personal question but, what country are you from?

(Must plan drunken summer getaway with European women)

I don't find it to be too personal, but I'd rather keep all these Norwegian women for myself...