Poll: Should people wait until they're married to have sex?

[RadiusXd]

having children outside of marriage can cause serious problems

That's not marriage, that's relationship. What about a single ceremonial day makes two people more responsible? If you mean they should be in a proper relationship before they have children, then that's partly correct, but that's just an ideal - I have many friends with single parents through one of them dying who have turned out just fine. Honestly, I think the correlation between failed relationships and child upbringing lies more in the fact that if someone is irresponsible enough to have an unwanted child (not to offend anyone, I am aware that a lot of the time unwanted children occur ENTIRELY by accident) then they're not responsible enough to bring one up.

It's a matter of responsibility rather than outright banning.

Where I am from, this is simply not the case. As I said, its all about location, and my location, you would be hard pressed to find somebody in their 2+ marriage and/or havent been married 20+ years. So call me old fashion. I am. And I love it that way. Me and my girlfriend BOTH think this way:

No sex before marriage. Once married, you stay married except in extreme cases. You raise your children on these same principals, just as we were.

And pretty much the only way to GUAREENTE no unwanted children is just to abstain from sex until you want them.

vasectomy

do what you want people.

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

Huh. I hadn't looked at the Hierarchy in a while. I could have sworn sex was a level up from the physiological needs.

And really, it should be. People will look for a toilet, sandwich, house, or cup of water before they'll look for sex.

So, yeah, what I should have said is "Survival needs are paramount".

Yeah, that's true, but Survival is no longer an issue in modern society. That's why there can be a greater emphasis on sex. The way for a lot of companies to get our money is to tap into those primal needs.

But my point was that sex isn't at the top of anybody's true priority list. And you are right in saying "companies tap into those primal [desires]", which is dishonest on their part and has adversely affected culture on the whole.

It's not like people have been so eager to paint/sculpt/commission naked women through the ages because of some higher meaning though. It's since time immemorial. Plastic surgery is nothing compared to those old fertility statue thingies =p

The points seem to have muddled somewhat. My point was that sex is used by us for other purposes than procreation. And my other point was that our sex drives are nature, not nurture.

Now I'm wondering whether it actually is at the top of some kind of persons' lists. Whether it is or not, it is, and always has been, very important for the average human.

A desire to have sex is nature, but this notion that it's the be all-end all of life is nurture.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

Well, if I should have waited I fucked that up royally. Oh well, the moral right hate me for who I am anyway so whatever.

 

[BOOM headshot65]

having children outside of marriage can cause serious problems

That's not marriage, that's relationship. What about a single ceremonial day makes two people more responsible? If you mean they should be in a proper relationship before they have children, then that's partly correct, but that's just an ideal - I have many friends with single parents through one of them dying who have turned out just fine. Honestly, I think the correlation between failed relationships and child upbringing lies more in the fact that if someone is irresponsible enough to have an unwanted child (not to offend anyone, I am aware that a lot of the time unwanted children occur ENTIRELY by accident) then they're not responsible enough to bring one up.

It's a matter of responsibility rather than outright banning.

Where I am from, this is simply not the case. As I said, its all about location, and my location, you would be hard pressed to find somebody in their 2+ marriage and/or havent been married 20+ years. So call me old fashion. I am. And I love it that way. Me and my girlfriend BOTH think this way:

No sex before marriage. Once married, you stay married except in extreme cases. You raise your children on these same principals, just as we were.

And pretty much the only way to GUAREENTE no unwanted children is just to abstain from sex until you want them.

vasectomy

What does sterilized men have to do with my qoute?

 

[azukar]

If they want to. Simple as that.

 

[ffs-dontcare]

While I reckon waiting until marriage is a bit too much, they should at least wait until they're in a serious relationship first rather than just going around boning each other "willy-nilly". I personally prefer to adhere to my standards.

However, if it's a friends with benefits deal, then that's kind of different. Not that I would really enter into such a deal. But still.

 

[similar.squirrel]

All sorts of things can make sense if you're religious, I guess. But I can't see any logical reason from abstaining before marriage.

 

[Zukhramm]

The only one having any business telling someone how long they should or shouldn't wait is the person themselves. I have no opinion in this.

 

[tobyornottoby]

A desire to have sex is nature, but this notion that it's the be all-end all of life is nurture.

Actually, the be all-end all of life are 2 primal instincts, survival of the individual (not dying) and survival of the species (sex). So I'd still say that notion is nature.

What's nurture, is that this notion is NOT the be all-end all. As intelligent beings, we can explore further up that hierarchy of needs.

Yeah, I don't much care for ecchi. I may be a hot-blooded young-man and all, but so much fan service only kills the show...

Anyway, I find it respectful that the one I love is special; that they are the only one. Not much of a prize, I know, but I might as well. I guess there's also a little respect for myself; like, I want to be strong enough to not give in to my urges (because I might as well fuck the natural way as I wait to die)... I want to take pride in how I've conquered these urges, and I want to keep myself... I don't want to use the word "pure," because that's awfully pretentious, but I don't really know a better word.

As for falling in love multiple times... I guess that you don't know me, so that's okay, but I'll be lucky to hug a girl that I'm not directly related to (that is, in a romantic sense) before I die... Yeah, I take this "v-card" thing pretty far. Again, I might as well.

There's no real reason for it, but it's probably at least a third because of the fact that I'm very average, and also kind of an asshole, and uncomfortable with women, and not really interested... My poor social skills are a problem, I mean... Have you ever seen The Big Bang Theory on TV? Yeah, I'm like Sheldon, except I have a better comprehension of irony and sarcasm and humor, and I try not to flaunt my intelligence too much... Although the way I phrased that kind of destroyed that little bit I had... Shit.

...

Anyway, it's cool to have sex whenever you want, just don't tell me about it.

Yeah I'm just a bit disappointed in anime lately. Ben-To from the current season for example started out very interesting for example, but now it's just another harem anime.

I do understand your notion of self-respect better now, it just sounded like you were judging others on it. But what urges do you see as good or bad? We also have urges to sleep and eat etc.

Well there are still Amy's out there right? =) (Here in the Netherlands the new episode that aired yesterday was about Amy taking Leonard to a wedding and Sheldon hitting Leonard at the end of the episode "she's not for you".)

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

A desire to have sex is nature, but this notion that it's the be all-end all of life is nurture.

Actually, the be all-end all of life are 2 primal instincts, survival of the individual (not dying) and survival of the species (sex). So I'd still say that notion is nature.

What's nurture, is that this notion is NOT the be all-end all. As intelligent beings, we can explore further up that hierarchy of needs.

Yeah, I don't much care for ecchi. I may be a hot-blooded young-man and all, but so much fan service only kills the show...

Anyway, I find it respectful that the one I love is special; that they are the only one. Not much of a prize, I know, but I might as well. I guess there's also a little respect for myself; like, I want to be strong enough to not give in to my urges (because I might as well fuck the natural way as I wait to die)... I want to take pride in how I've conquered these urges, and I want to keep myself... I don't want to use the word "pure," because that's awfully pretentious, but I don't really know a better word.

As for falling in love multiple times... I guess that you don't know me, so that's okay, but I'll be lucky to hug a girl that I'm not directly related to (that is, in a romantic sense) before I die... Yeah, I take this "v-card" thing pretty far. Again, I might as well.

There's no real reason for it, but it's probably at least a third because of the fact that I'm very average, and also kind of an asshole, and uncomfortable with women, and not really interested... My poor social skills are a problem, I mean... Have you ever seen The Big Bang Theory on TV? Yeah, I'm like Sheldon, except I have a better comprehension of irony and sarcasm and humor, and I try not to flaunt my intelligence too much... Although the way I phrased that kind of destroyed that little bit I had... Shit.

...

Anyway, it's cool to have sex whenever you want, just don't tell me about it.

Yeah I'm just a bit disappointed in anime lately. Ben-To from the current season for example started out very interesting for example, but now it's just another harem anime.

I do understand your notion of self-respect better now, it just sounded like you were judging others on it. But what urges do you see as good or bad? We also have urges to sleep and eat etc.

Well there are still Amy's out there right? =) (Here in the Netherlands the new episode that aired yesterday was about Amy taking Leonard to a wedding and Sheldon hitting Leonard at the end of the episode "she's not for you".)

Well, you've clearly not seen the same mass media I have. Almost every product sells with sex nowadays, every film or videogame needs a romantic aspect which almost always culminates in a physical relationship.

And when you look at the reasons people do have sex nowadays, the whole "continuation of the species" thing has fallen by the wayside in favour of hedonism.

 

[Batou667]

Yes. Would make society a bit smoother

In what way would the situation be "smoother"? Do you mean people rushing into ill-thought-out marriages in their late teens and early twenties, often with the first girl/guy avaiable? Ostracising those who have premarital sex, a double-standard which invariably hits women hardest? A return to the good ol' days of rampant unregulated prostitution and single mothers being made into social pariahs? Naturally we'd also have to make contraception harder to access, to discourage premarital sex. No way that could backfire!

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

I went with answer 3 because I think people should AT LEAST be in a (somewhat) serious relationship.
Doesn't mean you need marriage, but even a bit of commitment to one to have sex first.
Just if you don't, then wear protection for gods sake.

 

[Conza]

Before marriage? Sure.

Before a serious relationship? Sure.

Before the third date? Hmm, not if you intend to do either of the above, no, but otherwise, pfft, who are we to tell people when they can do it? Say 'hi I'd like to have sex with you', and if you get away with it, you're a legend, good work.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

A lot of people just sort of throw sex around or at least thats how they portray themselves. I prefer to wait till a relationship matters more than "Hey your hot." Last thing I want is to catch something or knock someone up that I can't stand.

As for marriage before sex, I do think you need to "test drive" before you buy so to speak. Bad sex can destroy a relationship just as easily as bad personalities.

 

[Ethan Asia]

No. Humans have inexplicably equated sex with love. I don't know why, maybe we're so insecure that we need to withhold sex until our partners have committed themselves to us.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I was totally fine with those ideals until I started playing Fable.

GAAAARGHH!!! SOOO FRUSTRATIIIING!!!

...

Well, good luck, chap. Do as you please, but don't expect a bucket of roses from everyone you meet.

 

[Johann610]

Sex is the antepenultimate (not the last thing, but close) method of determining compatibility, because a lot of biochemical / spark / je ne sais quos (French for WTF) are bound in it. The sex life you have with someone will tell you everything about how that person loves, how they persuade ("come on. Please?!"), how they react when frustrated ("but I want to have ___ now!"), and how they argue. It's the one thing, short of a long, drawn out set of conversations or facing DEATH together, where you can discern a lot in a short time.
And I'm not saying that a great sex life is a determining factor for successful relationships, it is the fastest way to discover that you're incompatible--because a BAD sex life is a sure sign everything's about to go downhill. I'm not sharing that story now, sorry.

 

[Rhatar Khurin]

If i had voted anything other than "nope" i would have been a hypocrite, and i hate hypocrites!

 

[dillinger88]

Self explanatory. Because of my religion, I cant have sex until Im married. It's tough to find girls who erm... feel the same way, but I have found a couple who share the sentiment, but for ethical reasons, not religious.

So what do you think? On the one hand, there would be much fewer cases of STDs in the world, as well as fewer accidental children (well, there would still be some obviously, but the parents would probably be in better standing to take care of them) But, intimacy is an extremely important factor of a long term relationship, and if something doesnt "work out," and you dont learn about it until you're married, that can ruin the whole thing.

Discuss. And dont hate on me for being religious, Im not trying to convert you or rub it in your face or anything, I just think this topic would make for a good discussion. You're free to believe what you want to believe.

I'd say each to their own.

I disagree with your statement regarding fewer STDs and accidental babies, though. I personally believe it's down to religious leaders refusing to sanction contraception that causes it more. I believe actually the huge amount of people with AIDs in third world countries likely comes down to religious charities refusing to give out contraception and not teaching people about safe sex. Or even just teaching "you got AIDs for having sex before marriage".

I agree with the second statement though. I don't know if I could wait until marriage for sex, not in an "I need it" sort of way, but it's always going to be awkward until it happens. I just don't think I could marry someone until I know them intimately and I've been with them when they have their guard down, you know?

Plus, sex is awesome.

I guess also I'm atheist so I don't really believe in Hell, let alone me being sent there for boning out of wedlock.