Poll: Should people wait until they're married to have sex?

FernandoV

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Gubernaculum said:
FernandoV said:
No, you're just giving a ridiculous example in order to pick at the obvious fact that he can't back up what he said in every situation. Assume there is some wiggle room in everyone's philosophies.
Then why not just say "I support a person's choice as long as it is socially acceptable in my culture".

How ridiculous is the question "would you kill one person to save a hundred"?

Derp.
The question isn't ridiculous but your purpose wasn't intrigue, it was just to point out that he couldn't take his philosophy to the extreme, and since you already knew that there was no point; therefore: unnecessary.
 

Uncreation

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DracoSuave said:
Shark Wrangler said:
It is way harder for a guy to get laid than a girl.
Mathematically impossible.

The mean difficulty of attaining sexual congress = D.
The number of sexual unions between men and women = s.
The mean number of couplings per individual of a given gender is C.
The population of a gender is p.

C[sub]male[/sub] = s[sub]male[/sub]/p[sub]male[/sub]
C[sub]female[/sub] = s[sub]female[/sub]/p[sub]female[/sub]

s[sub]male[/sub] = s[sub]female[/sub] = s, thus:

C[sub]male[/sub] = s/p[sub]male[/sub]
C[sub]female[/sub] = s/p[sub]female[/sub]

Mean difficulty is inversely proportional to number of mean couplings so:

D[sub]male[/sub] = p[sub]male[/sub]/xs
D[sub]female[/sub] = p[sub]female[/sub]/xs

where x is the constant of proportionality.

p[sub]male[/sub]/D[sub]male[/sub] = xs
p[sub]female[/sub]/D[sub]female[/sub] = xs

D[sub]male[/sub]/p[sub]male[/sub] = D[sub]female[/sub]/p[sub]female[/sub]

Let z equal the ration of males to females.

D[sub]male[/sub]/p[sub]male[/sub] = zD[sub]female[/sub]/p[sub]male[/sub]

or

D[sub]male[/sub] = zD[sub]female[/sub]

In western society, z is less than 1, as there are more females than males. Therefore

D[sub]male[/sub] < D[sub]female[/sub]

And therefore, males have an easier time getting laid than women.

QED.
All that time wasted to write all that, and your theory has so many holes in it... Like the fact that your s does not indicate how the number of sex acts are distributed among the members of the genders. But i'm not going to start turning this into a diploma paper, so nevermind.

While i do agree that it's probably equally hard for both men and women to find a relationship (maybe), when it comes to just sex, which this thread was all about, it is much easier for women. Yes, even unattrative ones. Don't believe me? Just go to a random dating site, one populated as equally as possible by members of both genders, and make two profiles: one for an unattractive woman, and one for an unattractive man. As description just say "i want to have sex". Which one do you think will get more responses? Again, i am not talking of relationships here; just sex and nothing more.
 

Thistlehart

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Honestly, I would prefer that people think before having sex (e.g. possibility of pregnancy/disease, options to mitigate, preparedness). That would offset the majority of problems that might occur.
 

uc.asc

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Marriage is a legal framework that controls inheritance, child custody, etc. and confers a variety of benefits on people who are married. Sex and religion have little or no bearing on marriage unless the participating parties bring them into it.

The bible, being sadistic bronze-age mythology that tells us to murder women who have sex before marriage, tells Christians that sexual repression is a good thing. As a result of this, more religious areas have poor sex education and contraceptive availability, leading to an increase in unplanned pregnancies, STD transmission, etc.
 

Dr Namgge

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Sex is a VERY large part of a relationship. For many people, at least until kids are involved, there's not much distinction between a very close friendship, and an intimate relationship besides in one of them you're having regular sex. To be honest, waiting before marriage to have sex is a large mistake. You don't buy a house without seeing what the insides like, you don't buy a car without seeing how it drives, and thus you shouldn't marry someone without knowing whether or not your compatible sexually.
 

Ampersand

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Whether or not you want to admit it your sexual identity is part of who you are and in my opinion it would be extremely irresponsible for anyone to commit to a life long relationship without first getting to know that side of their partner......what's more you'd set yourself up for a really terrible wedding night.
 
Aug 17, 2009
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tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
Well, you've clearly not seen the same mass media I have. Almost every product sells with sex nowadays, every film or videogame needs a romantic aspect which almost always culminates in a physical relationship.

And when you look at the reasons people do have sex nowadays, the whole "continuation of the species" thing has fallen by the wayside in favour of hedonism.
Oh yes, media and others are quick to tap into our nature to sell. But that's what they do. They tap into desires already existing within us, they do not create them.

And yes, sex does not have procreation as primary purpose for us. However, all these artificial constructs we have are still founded on that primal part, deeply buried as it may be.

What I'm saying is that the desire is blown out of proportion, and harmfully so, by media. Media is content to keep us circling the drain with hedonistic desires in order to keep us buying their products.

And it's because of this, despite the fact that I believe people should be free to have relationships based on what they want, that I lean more towards the Abstinence than the "Free Love" mindset.
 

Griffolion

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Aug 18, 2009
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Gubernaculum said:
Griffolion said:
But back to my first point. Choice first, always choice first.
I want to kill myself - would you support my choice?

If yes, consider this: I am a trillionare and own a huge corporation in which I have a 100% of the shares in. I wish to close down business (thus effectively causing a mass loss of jobs) and decide to cash my money and burn all of it (thus putting a noticeable dent in the economy). Would you support my choice?

I just wonder how far people would go to support a persons choice.
Whether or not I support any given choice is not necessarily tied to the notion that everyone should choose.

You want to kill yourself, its ultimately your choice to pull the trigger however ill try and talk you out of it.

You want to shut your business down? Its ultimately your choice to sign the forms but ill try and talk you out of it.

I'll not support those choices but ill never deny the right TO those choices. There is a difference.
 

ajh93

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Feb 11, 2010
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I personally don't have a problem with casual sex,especially if people know what they're getting into when they start (I.E.,not looking for a serious relationship,etc). Though if one wants to wait,who the hell cares?
 

Grospoliner

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Feb 16, 2010
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In all honesty, abstinence only policy is not the best idea. The sides can argue until they are both blue in the face about whether or not we were created or occurred naturally, but the fact is that we do have 4 million years of biological evolution driving us, and procreation is the primary motivator. It is in our nature to mate, to pass on our DNA, and if you're going to you might as well do it in a manner that ensures that everyone remains safe. Birth control and condoms along with education will help as much if not more-so to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STDs. It will do so without leaving deep-seated psychological scarring inherent to self-loathing that so frequently stem from religious practices. It simply doesn't work for everyone.

Individuals need to explore themselves, their relationships with other, and with the world in order to properly develop. Do what suits you, be free in that, but don't be surprised if you don't find like-mindedness among your peers.
 

Brawndo

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You can argue all you want about "morals", but the obvious reason why premarital sex is prohibited in the Bible and Koran is that women were once considered property (and still are in some modern Islamic states for all practical purposes), and an unwed non-virgin was useless to her father from a monetary standpoint. I personally think that conforming our modern behavior to something that primitive and archaic is senseless. But I won't tell anyone what to do with their love life, and I appreciate the same courtesy in return.

P.S. I always rejoice when I meet an attractive Jewish girl because I know she won't have any religious hangups about sex. Judaism is the only of the three Abrahamic religions that doesn't expressly regulate premarital sex.
 

RadiusXd

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BOOM headshot65 said:
RadiusXd said:
BOOM headshot65 said:
SirBryghtside said:
having children outside of marriage can cause serious problems
That's not marriage, that's relationship. What about a single ceremonial day makes two people more responsible? If you mean they should be in a proper relationship before they have children, then that's partly correct, but that's just an ideal - I have many friends with single parents through one of them dying who have turned out just fine. Honestly, I think the correlation between failed relationships and child upbringing lies more in the fact that if someone is irresponsible enough to have an unwanted child (not to offend anyone, I am aware that a lot of the time unwanted children occur ENTIRELY by accident) then they're not responsible enough to bring one up.

It's a matter of responsibility rather than outright banning.
Where I am from, this is simply not the case. As I said, its all about location, and my location, you would be hard pressed to find somebody in their 2+ marriage and/or havent been married 20+ years. So call me old fashion. I am. And I love it that way. Me and my girlfriend BOTH think this way:

No sex before marriage. Once married, you stay married except in extreme cases. You raise your children on these same principals, just as we were.

And pretty much the only way to GUAREENTE no unwanted children is just to abstain from sex until you want them.
vasectomy
What does sterilized men have to do with my qoute?
a vasectomy guarantees unwanted children, not everyones first choice I'll admit.
 

BOOM headshot65

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RadiusXd said:
BOOM headshot65 said:
RadiusXd said:
BOOM headshot65 said:
SirBryghtside said:
having children outside of marriage can cause serious problems
That's not marriage, that's relationship. What about a single ceremonial day makes two people more responsible? If you mean they should be in a proper relationship before they have children, then that's partly correct, but that's just an ideal - I have many friends with single parents through one of them dying who have turned out just fine. Honestly, I think the correlation between failed relationships and child upbringing lies more in the fact that if someone is irresponsible enough to have an unwanted child (not to offend anyone, I am aware that a lot of the time unwanted children occur ENTIRELY by accident) then they're not responsible enough to bring one up.

It's a matter of responsibility rather than outright banning.
Where I am from, this is simply not the case. As I said, its all about location, and my location, you would be hard pressed to find somebody in their 2+ marriage and/or havent been married 20+ years. So call me old fashion. I am. And I love it that way. Me and my girlfriend BOTH think this way:

No sex before marriage. Once married, you stay married except in extreme cases. You raise your children on these same principals, just as we were.

And pretty much the only way to GUAREENTE no unwanted children is just to abstain from sex until you want them.
vasectomy
What does sterilized men have to do with my qoute?
a vasectomy guarantees unwanted children, not everyones first choice I'll admit.
Yes, yes, I understand, but WHAT does that HAVE TO DO with my statement that where I live almost everyone is happily married for long periods of time and that is the tradition.
 

tobyornottoby

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KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
Well, you've clearly not seen the same mass media I have. Almost every product sells with sex nowadays, every film or videogame needs a romantic aspect which almost always culminates in a physical relationship.

And when you look at the reasons people do have sex nowadays, the whole "continuation of the species" thing has fallen by the wayside in favour of hedonism.
Oh yes, media and others are quick to tap into our nature to sell. But that's what they do. They tap into desires already existing within us, they do not create them.

And yes, sex does not have procreation as primary purpose for us. However, all these artificial constructs we have are still founded on that primal part, deeply buried as it may be.

What I'm saying is that the desire is blown out of proportion, and harmfully so, by media. Media is content to keep us circling the drain with hedonistic desires in order to keep us buying their products.

And it's because of this, despite the fact that I believe people should be free to have relationships based on what they want, that I lean more towards the Abstinence than the "Free Love" mindset.
I don't see how those two relate to each other =)
 
Aug 17, 2009
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tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
Well, you've clearly not seen the same mass media I have. Almost every product sells with sex nowadays, every film or videogame needs a romantic aspect which almost always culminates in a physical relationship.

And when you look at the reasons people do have sex nowadays, the whole "continuation of the species" thing has fallen by the wayside in favour of hedonism.
Oh yes, media and others are quick to tap into our nature to sell. But that's what they do. They tap into desires already existing within us, they do not create them.

And yes, sex does not have procreation as primary purpose for us. However, all these artificial constructs we have are still founded on that primal part, deeply buried as it may be.

What I'm saying is that the desire is blown out of proportion, and harmfully so, by media. Media is content to keep us circling the drain with hedonistic desires in order to keep us buying their products.

And it's because of this, despite the fact that I believe people should be free to have relationships based on what they want, that I lean more towards the Abstinence than the "Free Love" mindset.
I don't see how those two relate to each other =)
I don't exactly know which "two" you're talking about, but I'll guess it's being in favour of sexual freedom and abstinence.

I meant that I find more positives on the side of electing to abstain than electing to put sex at the top of your priorities. If there was a war between the celibate and the "open", I'd be more inclined to fight for the chaste.
 

tobyornottoby

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Jan 2, 2008
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KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
Well, you've clearly not seen the same mass media I have. Almost every product sells with sex nowadays, every film or videogame needs a romantic aspect which almost always culminates in a physical relationship.

And when you look at the reasons people do have sex nowadays, the whole "continuation of the species" thing has fallen by the wayside in favour of hedonism.
Oh yes, media and others are quick to tap into our nature to sell. But that's what they do. They tap into desires already existing within us, they do not create them.

And yes, sex does not have procreation as primary purpose for us. However, all these artificial constructs we have are still founded on that primal part, deeply buried as it may be.

What I'm saying is that the desire is blown out of proportion, and harmfully so, by media. Media is content to keep us circling the drain with hedonistic desires in order to keep us buying their products.

And it's because of this, despite the fact that I believe people should be free to have relationships based on what they want, that I lean more towards the Abstinence than the "Free Love" mindset.
I don't see how those two relate to each other =)
I don't exactly know which "two" you're talking about, but I'll guess it's being in favour of sexual freedom and abstinence.

I meant that I find more positives on the side of electing to abstain than electing to put sex at the top of your priorities. If there was a war between the celibate and the "open", I'd be more inclined to fight for the chaste.
No, your stance on freedom/abstinence and the way the media use sex. I can understand how the first influences how you think about the second, but you said it like the second influenced the first for you.
 
Aug 17, 2009
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tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
tobyornottoby said:
KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life said:
Well, you've clearly not seen the same mass media I have. Almost every product sells with sex nowadays, every film or videogame needs a romantic aspect which almost always culminates in a physical relationship.

And when you look at the reasons people do have sex nowadays, the whole "continuation of the species" thing has fallen by the wayside in favour of hedonism.
Oh yes, media and others are quick to tap into our nature to sell. But that's what they do. They tap into desires already existing within us, they do not create them.

And yes, sex does not have procreation as primary purpose for us. However, all these artificial constructs we have are still founded on that primal part, deeply buried as it may be.

What I'm saying is that the desire is blown out of proportion, and harmfully so, by media. Media is content to keep us circling the drain with hedonistic desires in order to keep us buying their products.

And it's because of this, despite the fact that I believe people should be free to have relationships based on what they want, that I lean more towards the Abstinence than the "Free Love" mindset.
I don't see how those two relate to each other =)
I don't exactly know which "two" you're talking about, but I'll guess it's being in favour of sexual freedom and abstinence.

I meant that I find more positives on the side of electing to abstain than electing to put sex at the top of your priorities. If there was a war between the celibate and the "open", I'd be more inclined to fight for the chaste.
No, your stance on freedom/abstinence and the way the media use sex. I can understand how the first influences how you think about the second, but you said it like the second influenced the first for you.
Well I'm inclined towards sober, but not clinical, analysis of situations. And what I see, plain as day, is the media blatantly exploiting people by overstimulating the desire for sex to the point where they can almost weaponize it in the name of profit.

I take everything I see with a grain of salt, and was able to identify these goings on at a young age, when the modern incarnation of oversexed advertising was still poking into the forefront.