Well, I was browsing some old posts of mine in other forums, and I came across this little essay I wrote. It was a response to a friend of the site that asked me why parents/teens had such a gap in respecting, otherwise known as ageism. I made the following answer. I just thought it be fun to see what you, The Escapist of various ages, think about it.
You agree? Disagree? Have your own theories/ideas? Please do share.
To be noted, this was written by me about a year or two ago, and some opinions have changed/been improved. It's always intersting to look back and think "why did I think like that?"
Why Adults Don't Respect Teens and Visa Versa
The ageism conflict probably started when news became for more available and sophisticated. Back in the good ole days of black and white tv and radio sitcoms, adults were portrayed as perfect, wise creatures that must be respected and listened too. A child would grow throughout his years believing that any adult he met would be someone he or she could trust (unless they were deemed otherwise by their parents).
But nowadays, anyone, including the young, just had to look at the news to know that adults are not all that wise. Every other news story is Teacher Bob touching his students, Mister Osama killing soldiers, or Uncle Jim getting stuck in a tree after a beer drinking binge. The age of the perfect adult was gone.
And as soon as the respect was gone, all heck broke out.
"If the average adults on the news aren't that great, then why should my neighbors be any different?" thought the young. "For that matter, what about my teacher? Or my friend's parents? Or even my parents?!" And thus it begun. And the thoughts just went further. "Why should I be so nice and respectful to just any stranger?" the Young think in suspicion. "For all I know, he could be a jerk, or even a pedophile! He probably deserved it!" And thus was the cycle by the teens complete.
But it continues. The new age of the 21st century brings new laws and regulations. The wide spread of child harmers have alarmed the people at Washington. "New laws must be made into place!" they cry. "Protect the children" became the new motto. If these laws were effective or not (pedophiles are still a big problem, so my answer, no), what they did for parents and other adults was worsen the already breaking moral of teens. Now, any form of effective discipline was considered "child abuse." The Young now had a weapon to use against the Adults. Before, any adult would of could at the very least give a good clout of the ear to any foul mouth child. But now, even a glare would be considered "child endangerment." The respect was finally broken.
But it would not soon be fixed, for now distrust has grown throughout the Adult community. It would be easy, even logical to assume that any child born in this new world of no restraint would automatically also be a "foulmouth" or "hooligan". Since no one was preventing this, any child would learn the vocab of swears and rude behavior, maybe without even fully realizing of what they were doing. Swear words became normal words, used as easily as normal adjectives.
So Adults would form a negative view of any Young they meet, and treat them with caution, even hostility. But any attempt at correction would be dubbed to the Teens as "corny," with no need for them to take any concern in the Adult's want for respect.
But the question then forms, What to do about this? How do we restore the Respect? Well, bad new: the Respect is not coming back. There will always be idiots and pervs around to ruin the Adults image. So the first step of building the bridge to the two ages is
1.) Don't set up the "Perfect Adult" image.
Just be honest to kids. "Hey, not all Adults are that great. In fact, many are idiote jerks. But that doesn't mean you need to be one, too."
Next is the issue of the Child Laws. Most kids won't feel pressured to straighten up because they have little to no punishment. So step 2 goes to several different people.
2.) Be tough but courteous.
meaning:
Parents, punish your kids for swearing or bad behavior if you're not already.
Bosses, don't be the "Friend" for your young employees (I?ve been noticing this trend)
Teachers, set up certain punishments for swearing or misbehaving
Any other Adults, just ignore the kids if they are being rude and praise those that aren?t
But kid also have to play a part in this, too. Even though most adults don't deserve much respect, that does not mean you need to be an ass. Swear words are to be used when they really matter. If used in replacement of "a" or "the", they soon lose their meaning, and you end up looking like an idiot.
So two rules for the Young:
3) Don't swear, it's stupid. EDIT: That is, don't use it constantly or with every other word.
and
4) Be somewhat respectful to a person until you get to know them.
For #4, that means you don't have to immediately praise the next adult you see, but give them some courteousy. Who knows, they might even turn into out to be a good person.
You agree? Disagree? Have your own theories/ideas? Please do share.
To be noted, this was written by me about a year or two ago, and some opinions have changed/been improved. It's always intersting to look back and think "why did I think like that?"
Why Adults Don't Respect Teens and Visa Versa
The ageism conflict probably started when news became for more available and sophisticated. Back in the good ole days of black and white tv and radio sitcoms, adults were portrayed as perfect, wise creatures that must be respected and listened too. A child would grow throughout his years believing that any adult he met would be someone he or she could trust (unless they were deemed otherwise by their parents).
But nowadays, anyone, including the young, just had to look at the news to know that adults are not all that wise. Every other news story is Teacher Bob touching his students, Mister Osama killing soldiers, or Uncle Jim getting stuck in a tree after a beer drinking binge. The age of the perfect adult was gone.
And as soon as the respect was gone, all heck broke out.
"If the average adults on the news aren't that great, then why should my neighbors be any different?" thought the young. "For that matter, what about my teacher? Or my friend's parents? Or even my parents?!" And thus it begun. And the thoughts just went further. "Why should I be so nice and respectful to just any stranger?" the Young think in suspicion. "For all I know, he could be a jerk, or even a pedophile! He probably deserved it!" And thus was the cycle by the teens complete.
But it continues. The new age of the 21st century brings new laws and regulations. The wide spread of child harmers have alarmed the people at Washington. "New laws must be made into place!" they cry. "Protect the children" became the new motto. If these laws were effective or not (pedophiles are still a big problem, so my answer, no), what they did for parents and other adults was worsen the already breaking moral of teens. Now, any form of effective discipline was considered "child abuse." The Young now had a weapon to use against the Adults. Before, any adult would of could at the very least give a good clout of the ear to any foul mouth child. But now, even a glare would be considered "child endangerment." The respect was finally broken.
But it would not soon be fixed, for now distrust has grown throughout the Adult community. It would be easy, even logical to assume that any child born in this new world of no restraint would automatically also be a "foulmouth" or "hooligan". Since no one was preventing this, any child would learn the vocab of swears and rude behavior, maybe without even fully realizing of what they were doing. Swear words became normal words, used as easily as normal adjectives.
So Adults would form a negative view of any Young they meet, and treat them with caution, even hostility. But any attempt at correction would be dubbed to the Teens as "corny," with no need for them to take any concern in the Adult's want for respect.
But the question then forms, What to do about this? How do we restore the Respect? Well, bad new: the Respect is not coming back. There will always be idiots and pervs around to ruin the Adults image. So the first step of building the bridge to the two ages is
1.) Don't set up the "Perfect Adult" image.
Just be honest to kids. "Hey, not all Adults are that great. In fact, many are idiote jerks. But that doesn't mean you need to be one, too."
Next is the issue of the Child Laws. Most kids won't feel pressured to straighten up because they have little to no punishment. So step 2 goes to several different people.
2.) Be tough but courteous.
meaning:
Parents, punish your kids for swearing or bad behavior if you're not already.
Bosses, don't be the "Friend" for your young employees (I?ve been noticing this trend)
Teachers, set up certain punishments for swearing or misbehaving
Any other Adults, just ignore the kids if they are being rude and praise those that aren?t
But kid also have to play a part in this, too. Even though most adults don't deserve much respect, that does not mean you need to be an ass. Swear words are to be used when they really matter. If used in replacement of "a" or "the", they soon lose their meaning, and you end up looking like an idiot.
So two rules for the Young:
3) Don't swear, it's stupid. EDIT: That is, don't use it constantly or with every other word.
and
4) Be somewhat respectful to a person until you get to know them.
For #4, that means you don't have to immediately praise the next adult you see, but give them some courteousy. Who knows, they might even turn into out to be a good person.
). I don't think the issue is with today's youth, but just a stage of human life that most people go through, where they rebel against the establishments that are there (teachers are a perfect target).
