Poll: Would you rather be single than date an unattractive person?

Laurie Barnes

New member
May 19, 2010
326
0
0
Not much to be said about this, other than I have been single for a long time and don't see myself changing that habit any time soon.
My friends tell me that I need to lower my standards, or at least strongly imply it. While I don't feel that is the only reason I can't get a date they may have a point.
My problem is that, judge me as you please, I cannot pursue a relationship with someone I do not find physically attractive. Personality counts for a bit, but for reason of genetics and simple taste I cannot overcome my obsession with appearance.

I am fully aware that a lot of you will think I am a terrible person, but that's just how I am wired, (poorly that is).

So I ask you my fellow escapists, how important are looks to you?

Edit: I want to add that I think my beliefs on the subject were heavily influenced by my father. One of the earliest comments he gave me on the subject was, "Don't ever lower your standards, how do you think I ended up with your mother?"

Edit2: Ok people seem to be confused by what I mean when I say unattractive. I do not mean ugly, I mean someone you do not find yourself attracted to for any reason. Honestly I know lots of pretty girls who I find unattractive because they treated me like shit, and lots of nice girls who I find unappealing due to their faces or bodies.
 

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
3,676
0
0
It depends.
If you are an average guy who wont settle for less than a supermodel, then yes you need to lower your standards.
 

jakko12345

New member
Dec 23, 2010
321
0
0
In short, no. But I would date someone who I personally find attractive but others don't.
 

Riku'sTwilight

New member
Dec 21, 2009
301
0
0
You, and your friends are both exactly right...but for two very different problems.

What your friends suggest "lowering of the standards" is mainly for sex. To get more sex, you need to lower your standards at first.

To get a relationship on the other hand, you do need a physical attraction as well as a personality attraction. Like you say, it's all about the genetics and taste of individual people.

The problem comes when/if you are only trying to get "10's" when you yourself are not a "10" in looks. As long as you find certain girls attractive that differ from the atypical stereotype of perfect women and those women who try to attune themselves to that then you shouldn't be worried.

My own situation is very similar to yours actually, I want to find someone who I can date and even girls who I think are attractive but aren't 10s, or out of my league don't really want to know me, which sucks.
I only seem to attract the people who I don't find attractive which has lead to a similar version of your problem.


*As a side note to what your father said, I obviously don't know how handsome he is and how beautiful your mum is, but all I can say on the subject is that I've seen many many times beautiful girls go for less than model-esque guys simply because they treat them better.

Show girls your charm, how thoughtful and caring you are while still being witty and a little, teensy bit of a douche to them and see how you get on.
 

Henkie36

New member
Aug 25, 2010
678
0
0
Well, this depends on the personality of course, but it also is important whether or not the person is said to be unattractive, or what you think. And besides, looks fade with age.
 

MrMixelPixel

New member
Jul 7, 2010
771
0
0
I would not date an unattractive person... at least not for a long period of time. I don't think I'd ever really be in this position... since I'd probably only date someone who is already a friend. What I'm saying is... most of my friends are more than attractive enough xP... and I don't plan on making new friends anytime soon.
 

xXGeckoXx

New member
Jan 29, 2009
1,779
0
0
Looks matter. A person does not have to be gorgeous, the personality matters more but...if you are just not attracted to them then how could it work out?
 

ElPatron

New member
Jul 18, 2011
2,130
0
0
It's perfectly acceptable to date someone that does not fit others' tastes as long as that person fits yours.


But lower your own? No. You will only find sadness is pursuing that question.

Next thing you know, you will end up with someone you hate, and not physically.

MrMixelPixel said:
I'd probably only date someone who is already a friend
I don't see why people usually recommend against this practise. If they are real friends, it won't feel awkward for too long if the relationship goes wrong.
 

Zerazar

New member
Aug 5, 2010
100
0
0
I would have to be physically attracted to them, but I hardly expect high-ranking beauties.
 

Crimson Butterfly

New member
Sep 23, 2010
43
0
0
It all comes down to the full package for me.

While there are some men I simply could not be with down to there being no physical attraction I often find personality has some bearing on it.

I have met very good looking men that I could never bring myself to be with simply because they are complete and utter a******s. Once I know this fact I just can't seem to fancy them anymore. Physically nothing has changed and yet my view of them has to the point it nulifies the initial attraction.

The same works in reverse.

So no, don't lower your standards but in the same breath don't close your mind either. Naturally looks are important, it's genetic to make us procreate, but going on that alone is flawed where relationships are concerned. You might be surprised how much your perception of a person alters given time.
 

TheVioletBandit

New member
Oct 2, 2011
579
0
0
Laurie Barnes said:
Not much to be said about this, other than I have been single for a long time and don't see myself changing that habit any time soon.
My friends tell me that I need to lower my standards, or at least strongly imply it. While I don't feel that is the only reason I can't get a date they may have a point.
My problem is that, judge me as you please, I cannot pursue a relationship with someone I do not find physically attractive. Personality counts for a bit, but for reason of genetics and simple taste I cannot overcome my obsession with appearance.

I am fully aware that a lot of you will think I am a terrible person, but that's just how I am wired, (poorly that is).

So I ask you my fellow escapists, how important are looks to you?

Edit: I want to add that I think my beliefs on the subject were heavily influenced by my father. One of the earliest comments he gave me on the subject was, "Don't ever lower your standards, how do you think I ended up with your mother?"
What kind of unattractive are we talking about here? Fat, ugly face, bad teeth, big nose, weird proportions? It's important that you specify because one kind of ugliness may not be as big of a deal as another. For example crooked teeth could be cute on some people.
 

RagTagBand

New member
Jul 7, 2011
497
0
0
Liking someone's personality but having no physical attraction to them is also commonly known as "platonic friendship". Pretty much the only demonstrable difference between a girl friend and a girlfriend (or boy, whichever) is mutual sexual attraction.

Having a relationship with someone who you have no lust for is pointless, you may as well just be friends for all the difference it makes.

Would I date someone who I don't find attractive but who has a great personality? No, not at all, not even for a moment. Would I be friends with them? Hell yes. I already have a good number of these friends, some are male (i'm a straight male) and some are female who I am not attracted to (which is not to say they are unattractive)

Would I date someone who other people don't find attractive? Of course, In my eyes (the only eyes that matter), they're wrong.
 

Dexiro

New member
Dec 23, 2009
2,977
0
0
Are you in a relationship with someone because you love them or because you want someone hot to put your dick into?
 

Vrach

New member
Jun 17, 2010
3,223
0
0
Laurie Barnes said:
I am fully aware that a lot of you will think I am a terrible person, but that's just how I am wired, (poorly that is).
You're not a terrible person and it's not a matter of looks, it's a matter of chemistry. And you can't have chemistry with someone you don't find attractive.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. As cheesy as it sounds, it's 100% true. When you like someone, you like them, you find them appealing. Other people might find them unappealing, but that's beside the point, what matters is your own perception. Similarly, you can see someone who's attractive and not be attracted to them. You can acknowledge they're generally attractive, but that doesn't change the fact that you yourself aren't attracted to them.
 

Dogstile

New member
Jan 17, 2009
5,093
0
0
Do I find them unattractive?

If yes, cross off being interested in them.

If no, move on.

Its in my flow chart of dating.
 

walrusaurus

New member
Mar 1, 2011
595
0
0
the fundamental issue with your premise is that your presuming that 'attractiveness' is a solely physical quality, when it is (for me at least) only a part of it.