Poll: Would you rather be single than date an unattractive person?

Slash Dementia

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If she had a good personality, yes. I would, but only if they weren't completely ugly (like, hard to look at ugly) to me. I still have standards in that part. A good personality kind of makes someone attractive to me. If they were 'attractive' by other people's standards but had a bad personality, I wouldn't think they were attractive.
 

Zack Alklazaris

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Oct 6, 2011
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Honestly, everyone becomes old and weathered anyway so why put so much power into attractiveness? You should be looking for common interest, love, sexual compatibility (which believe it or not is different from attraction), things that may change, but can also stay the same forever.
 

albinoterrorist

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Laurie Barnes said:
Edit2: Ok people seem to be confused by what I mean when I say unattractive. I do not mean ugly, I mean someone you do not find yourself attracted to for any reason. Honestly I know lots of pretty girls who I find unattractive because they treated me like shit, and lots of nice girls who I find unappealing due to their faces or bodies.
Said "no" because of this.
If I find her unattractive, i'm just stringing her along for her own sake (or worse, mine) - that can't last, and it won't be pretty for her when it does end.
It'd be much easier to just kill it before it could begin, so there'd be more time and less hard feelings to get in the way of salvaging a working friendship/whatever else we agreed on instead of a relationship.

Thankfully, I find many things attractive - particularly good personalities.
As long as someone's got something going for them, i'll give a relationship my best effort to make it work.
 

Robert Ewing

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I hate this chivalrous view that if a pile of shit had a wonderful personality and helped out with charity, that you the virtuous romantic lover would sweep her off her feet for being an amazing person on the inside.

Sorry to sound horrible and shallow, but looks do matter... If your eyes tell you that the person you are looking at is so unappealing that your penis shrivels back inside you in fear, then you must not date her... It's a recipe for disaster in one aspect or another.

If you don't find her attractive, then move on. But don't get me wrong, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you find somebody attractive that nobody else does, then go for it. It's for yourself, and yourself only.
 

evenest

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Speaking as a relatively unattractive person, I'm rather glad that my wife likes who I am and the fact that I can make her laugh and feel loved.

We all age, and we all change. If all you like about prospective mates is how they might look when in their 20s . . . how far will that relationship go when you are both in your 50s?
 

Plinglebob

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Nov 11, 2008
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Sure. I went to college with a woman who was intelligent, kind, witty, had similar tastes to me and could have played foward for the English rugby team. Only reason I didn't try to go out with her was because she already had a boyfriend (seriously, what are the odds?)

evenest said:
We all age, and we all change. If all you like about prospective mates is how they might look when in their 20s . . . how far will that relationship go when you are both in your 50s?
Also this. Looks are more likely to fade in time compared to their personality.
 

Red Bomb

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Looks ARE important but I voted 'maybe' because if I met someone with a bad scar or burn or something across his face/body but an amazing personality I think I could overlook the physical because his personality would make up for it if that makes sense. But if someone was just 'not my type' or just downright unfortunate looking I'm afraid I could only manage a friendship with them.
All in the eye of the beholder and all that.
 

Togs

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Dec 8, 2010
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It depends on the definition of ugly- are you talking about ugly as by the standards set by society or ugly to me personally?

As the 1st is probably be a yes (as in yes Id rather be with them) whilst the second definately a no.
 

similar.squirrel

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Mar 28, 2009
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Oh, hell yes, There's nothing worse than getting to that stage where you think 'well..at least she's ot a nice laugh' every time you look at your object of rapidly diminishing affection. It's not fair on either party.
 

Wushu Panda

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Laurie Barnes said:
Not much to be said about this, other than I have been single for a long time and don't see myself changing that habit any time soon.
My friends tell me that I need to lower my standards, or at least strongly imply it. While I don't feel that is the only reason I can't get a date they may have a point.
My problem is that, judge me as you please, I cannot pursue a relationship with someone I do not find physically attractive. Personality counts for a bit, but for reason of genetics and simple taste I cannot overcome my obsession with appearance.

I am fully aware that a lot of you will think I am a terrible person, but that's just how I am wired, (poorly that is).

So I ask you my fellow escapists, how important are looks to you?

Edit: I want to add that I think my beliefs on the subject were heavily influenced by my father. One of the earliest comments he gave me on the subject was, "Don't ever lower your standards, how do you think I ended up with your mother?"

Edit2: Ok people seem to be confused by what I mean when I say unattractive. I do not mean ugly, I mean someone you do not find yourself attracted to for any reason. Honestly I know lots of pretty girls who I find unattractive because they treated me like shit, and lots of nice girls who I find unappealing due to their faces or bodies.
Your question is flawed. People date because they find someone attractive; whether thats looks, personality, etc. Why would anyone bother with entering a relationship if there wasnt a mutual sense of attractiveness.

Would you go swimming in a pool if there wasnt any water? Judge me if you want, but thats just how I am wired.
 

BloatedGuppy

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Feb 3, 2010
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Question is ridiculous, and anyone answering "yes, personality is where it's at" is a liar or failing to understand the parameters of the question as posed by the OP. It's not "would you date someone who is not conventionally attractive". It's not one of those cases where the person's amazing personality makes you fall in love with them. Because in those situations YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THEM.

The ONLY POSSIBLE answer to "would you date someone you find unattractive" is NO. Whatever your personal standards for determining attractiveness might be, once someone falls below them, you will not date them.

OP needs to re-word the poll for this discussion to have any value whatsoever.