My first thought was that I would dissolve the Royal Family because FUCK those over privilaged cunts.
But, this is a fun thread, so lets have some fun.
First, take back control of my country from the useless idiots currently running it and return all power to me. I will do this by force if I have to as I'm pretty sure the military is sworn to me.
I now have all the power, there will be people to guide and advise me, but ultimately I make all the laws.
Second, change the national anthem to this:
There, isn't that so much better than the dirge we currently have?
Third, buy Aston Villa football club thus giving them almost limitless funds.
Forth, make sure that the plane carrying Trump and Pence never makes it to Britain to meet me, but make sure that it cannot be traced back to me.
Fifth, give Northern Ireland back to the Irish.
Sixth, offend as many people as possible. If Phillip can do it, then so can I.
Seventh, legalise drugs. Hold drug filled orgies in Windsor castle.
Eighth, just have a massive around the world trip around the world getting drunk and making a total arse of myself, making sure that I am on the front page of the newspapers every day for making an arse of myself. This is to upset all the people who get upset or offended about anything.
Ninth, fire everyone who currently works at Radio 1 and replace them with people who have a clue about what is music. I know this makes me sound old, but music today is not music, its a collection of annoying sounds. To quote Rupert Giles, "I know music, music has notes".
Tenth, have a "Employee of the week" every week, everyone in Britain will it at least once.
Eleventh, have the worlds top scientists work on a way for me to become immortal so that no one messes with the vision I have created for England.
That's about all I can think of. I think my new Britain will be great. Anyone who disagrees will be executed for treason. You have been warned.