Poll: You will never be as happy in life as you are when in a relationship

Colour Scientist

Troll the Respawn, Jeremy!
Jul 15, 2009
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lacktheknack said:
I'd argue that you'll never be as happy in life as when you're religious. It's certainly true for me. But everyone dismisses THAT immediately and out of turn, so I don't see why any other variation should be any different.
Have you ever not been religious?
If not, you can't really know if you're happier being religious. :p

OP: Like others have said, it depends on the person, definitely not a universal truth.

I can be perfectly happy when I'm single and I'd rather be by myself than stay in a crap relationship because I'm afraid to be alone. I don't really understand people who jump from relationship to relationship and who get antsy if they're single for more than ten minutes but, like I said, everyone's different.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Colour Scientist said:
lacktheknack said:
I'd argue that you'll never be as happy in life as when you're religious. It's certainly true for me. But everyone dismisses THAT immediately and out of turn, so I don't see why any other variation should be any different.
Have you ever not been religious?
If not, you can't really know if you're happier being religious. :p
Of course. Everyone goes through those awkward teen years when you're smarter than everyone, girls are evil, God is dead, and the government is a conspiracy to keep you down.

It was awful. :D
 

TakerFoxx

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Jan 27, 2011
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I am very happy with my life right now, and a lot of that is because I'm not in a relationship. I like my alone time and being free to pursue my interests whenever I want, and really am not interested in getting with anyone. I think they call it being aromantic or something like that, but whatever name they have for it, relationships just aren't for me.
 

Parasondox

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Jun 15, 2013
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I find it more strange that when that phrase, "You will never be as happy in life as you are when in a relationship", is being thrown around, is often said by those in relationships that aren't... going well themselves. Mostly trying hard advertise that being in a relationship is the be all and end all of life itself rather than actually pointing out some home truths. Or maybe that's just me.

Personally, that phrase is used to overhype a relationship. Making it seem that it's all perfect and great and will make your life a lot more better if you have it then if you don't. Similar to the whole "If you don't have children, you will never know how it's like to be a real/complete woman" line. Suggesting that you better have this or do that, or your life is nothing and pointless. 7 billion people on this planet. We all have different motivations and goals.

I was young once, we all were, and we all thought about the person who we would go out with first. Your first date, first crush. Your first moment of feeling the difficult emotion of "love". We are at our best and on cloud 9. For the majority though that first relationship ends and for all, it would feel like the end of the world. Like nothing else matters because you felt a new sensation in your heart and mind, must now go away or be hidden deep inside. For some, it's something they get over in time and appreciate the feeling and moments they had when they had a special someone next to them. Learning and maturing into a different person. Having the understand that, well, this relationship didn't work, so I must try to move on in life and see what's out there and also find freedom and happiness on my own. Going down this path can lead to anything. I can't predict what would come of it.

However, you may have some people experiencing the opposite of what I said in the previous paragraph. Feeling like "the end of the world", is for them, the end of the world. They don't want to be on their own and only used to being dependant on someone else. Maybe, and I strongly say maybe here, the people in their lives that surround them growing up, may have influence them into thinking that being single is a shameful thing. That no matter how much your partner is a dick and an arse to you, it's best to be with someone that to be with no one at all. Yeah I know it may sound a bit over the top but it does happens. In certain religious groups, I often hear that the person you decide to begin a relationship with, no matter how old you are, you must think as far as marriage, because if you aren't thinking of marriage while you have been them for less than a week, then no point in dating them and being boyfriend/girlfriend. Sounds... extreme to me but maybe to others, it's not. I've only heard of one person who did that. What happened was they were a couple for about a year and a religious person they knew told them. "You are both a couple and are walking out in public as a couple but not married and that would bring shame to yourselves and family. Get married so no one can judge you." So they followed it. Until things went quite bad. The relationship fell apart badly. So in a normal situation you would think they should just divorce easily right? Unfortunately no. They can't because doing that would also bring shame to their family and themselves and mostly to the girl. They were around 19 by the way. Stuck in a difficult situation.

I have a few female friends and many times, through no fault of their own, end up in relationships that start out as great at first but then have their partners become a different person a week or few months later. More possessive, over engaging, judgemental, manipulative and the most common case, extreme jealously. Extreme jealously to the point where those new partners would tell (or instruct) their other half about who they should or shouldn't speak to, what to wear, and how to even speak and look when around others. That there is the power dynamic being switched from 50/50 to a scary 70/30, 80/20 or an even more scary 90/10. And if and when these relationships end for whatever reason, it may leave that person either being relieved to be single and put them off if relationships for a while, or in some cases a very long time, or have leave that person so emotionally scarred that the though of being on their own is too scary too process. Often times going into or back to a relationship that leads to the same story and ends with the same outcome.

TL;DR Each relationship is different and everyone should go at their own pace in building new relations. So in terms of the main heading, nah it's not completely true. Not by a long shot anyways. People can find happiness in anything. 7 billion people, 7 billion different motives and stories to tell and live through.

Sorry about the long read. I did go on a bit there
 

Mikeyfell

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Aug 24, 2010
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In theory I suppose I could see how that statement could be true.

If you're working under the logic that somewhere out there is a sane human being... but in practice pfffffffffff ha hahahhaha.

In the real world relationships aren't relationships they're games and all the rules are skewed against... men (There's no way I'm not going to come off as sexist)
in my experience there's this notion that the "Girlfriend's" roll in the relationship is to simply exist in proximity to the "Boyfriend" and the boyfriend's roll in the relationship is to do everything in hie power to make the girlfriend happy.

(If you are a strait woman who doesn't think this is true I have never met you or anyone who shares your world view and that's my problem. personally I gave up on trying to beat the statistics a long time ago and I've been much happier for it)



maybe my problem was dating people who were my friends before we started dating.
actually seeing the transformation between "friend" and "girlfriend" made me seriously contemplate turning gay
 

mindfaQ

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Dec 6, 2013
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I have been in a relationship before. It has pros and cons. In the starting phase your body goes crazy and it's like you are postively drugged all the time. People are overly optimistic and have a have a harder time seeing negative things. But inevitably that's over some day and since the time afterwards makes up the most time, when you're looking for a long-term relationship, I think it's best to argue about that time and compare it to being single.

Pros for a relationship:
- always someone on your side where it matters
- you have someone you can trust
- physical closeness to someone else
- can build a family

Pros for being a single:
- independence / less responsibilities
- no need for many compromises in your life, whether it's how you live, how your appartment/house looks, what you do when and where...
- more time for friends (might be problematic if they are all in a relationship, though :D)

I think you can't say what's best for everyone. People are different, they enjoy different things. I think if partners match really well, then a relationship is better than being single almost unconditionally, because partners can give each other as much space as necessary, too. BUT normally you have to make compromises when choosing a partner - normally finding someone good is good enough, because looking for perfect just will get you nowhere. And comparing a good partner to being single can be a lot more equal competition and your personal way of life plays a big role.

In the end being single doesn't have to mean being alone (-> friends etc.) and being in a relationship doesn't have to mean being caged. It's all about what you make of it. Just make sure you enjoy life with reasonable means and it will be fine.
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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For the past few years I haven't been single for very long. People probably assume I'm one of those desperate people that just jump from one person to the other, but I'm not.
I'm both happy and single and in a relationship. I don't have time to dwell on being single because there's always at least one guy chasing me at a time. *hair flick* XD

I love feeling wanted and needed but I'm perfectly fine by myself. If I was single for the next year, I'd be fine with that. I like being carefree and young and able to have fun without feeling guilty. You've got to kiss a lot of toads, after all.

The only time I was slightly unhappy when single is unrelated but because my ex was giving me a tirade of abuse for committing the crime of leaving him instead of staying in a relationship I didn't want.

I love to love and be loved so it doesn't take long for me to fall for someone but in between those times, having some time to myself and exploring around a bit is loads of fun C:
 

Abyssalin

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Mar 28, 2012
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I think that it really is dependent on the person.

I have been single and happy, like i currently am now, but at the same time if the opportunity for romance came along i would not turn my back to it.

Likewise i have been happy and in a relationship and i haven't thought to myself "Oh my god if i was single i would be the most miserable person ever".

As someone said above, you are never truly alone irregardless of your relationship status, you have friends and other such outside influences around you that contribute to your levels of happiness too.
 

Risingblade

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Mar 15, 2010
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Jeez I'm in the minority here. The key point is that it has to be a GOOD relationship, just being with someone isn't enough you have to be with someone who you can be happy with. You can always be happy single, it's pretty easy actually but it's nice to have someone who genuinely care about you.
 

Kuilui

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Apr 1, 2010
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Most of the relationships I've seen in my life have been filled with mostly bitter hatred and resentment. People that tell me they wish they were single but they are married and its very complicated or they are just terrified of being alone which isn't healthy either. I know two or three couples that really love each other and have been together for ages. It's a grab bag man, to each his own as the saying goes. Some people are just happier alone but I'm sure finding your near perfect match would make anyone happier, but not many people find that sadly.
 

sateryn

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Sep 25, 2013
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i'll disagree with the qualifier of "being in a relationship", but i think that's actually just a poorly worded way of what the OP is trying to get at.

in all my life i have never seen any person be happier than they are when they're in "new love" - when you're falling (or recently fallen) for someone and everything in your brain is just emergency-dumping every happy induction chemical there is into your neural net.

now, when you start bringing "relationship" into it and getting into the myriad complications and compromises those inevitably bring with them, then obviously that's bollocks and they can make people completely miserable.
but the emotional high of a new relationship with someone you really fancy? i've never personally encountered anything that can cause a sustained euphoric happiness in a human being other than that.
 

Lieju

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Jan 4, 2009
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lacktheknack said:
I'd argue that you'll never be as happy in life as when you're religious. It's certainly true for me. But everyone dismisses THAT immediately and out of turn, so I don't see why any other variation should be any different.
Well that's true for you, but it's not true for everyone.
My uncle found religion and now he has to stress out over not just the souls of his family members who he is convinced will go to Hell, but those relatives who already died and so cannot be saved.

Religion is like relationships. Might make you happy, might be a horrible strain on you.
(For the record, I'm not a religious person, but obviously it can make you happy and offer you a community and all that stuff, whether the belief is true or not, as can hobbies or many other things.)

Different people require different things to be happy. Some people want to have a family and children, some just a romantic relationship, some casual sex. Some need to have a fulfilling job and a career, some are just happy if they can make the ends meet. Some want good social standing, some people don't care what others (or most people) think of them.
Most people require some kind of relationships though, we just are a social species, but not necessarily the romantic or sexual kind.
 

Hochmeister

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Jun 2, 2011
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Maybe, if it's a good relationship. Depending on the person and the relationship in question I can see that being the high point of someone's life. On the other hand, I distinctly recall being very happy after getting out of a bad relationship last year, so much so that I've had no desire to even try to get into another one until about now.
 

Evil Moo

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Feb 26, 2011
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I harbour many levels of resentment around this notion. I resent the implication that what little happiness I have experienced is somehow invalid or inherently less valuable than happiness gained through some other massively over-romanticised experience that I will never have. I resent my own biological drive to reproduce for which a relationship is somewhat necessary, while I otherwise have no desire for either the reproduction or the relationship. I resent the thought that something I don't desire and have no competence in, or intention of pursuing, is apparently the most important thing in the universe for no apparent reason.

I feel I would be a lot closer to true happiness without the burden of reproductive urges and gross glorification of relationships in popular culture that feels almost tantamount to shaming those that don't embrace it.

Not all relationships are positive.

Not all people are socially inclined.
 

CellShaded

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Aug 8, 2009
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I'm in a relationship right now. Been going over 4 years, we live together and everything. And I am happy now, yeah, but I could also be happy otherwise. The thought that you need someone else to be truly happy is..uhh..dangerous. Because then some people will get obsessed with the idea of a "happily ever after" and do god knows what if they don't get it from one day to the next, or if there's trouble in their relationship, which is hard to avoid.

And, y'know, there'll always be people that are just plain happier with or without a relationship. Hard to generalize like that.
 

Eddie the head

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Feb 22, 2012
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lacktheknack said:
I'd argue that you'll never be as happy in life as when you're religious. It's certainly true for me. But everyone dismisses THAT immediately and out of turn, so I don't see why any other variation should be any different.
Well I'd rather be right then happy, but even disregarding that people who had an arm amputated and lottery winners report that they are about as happy after a year. So yeah I'm calling BS on both these notions. Grated that is reported happiness but how else are you really going to do this?
 

MysticSlayer

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Apr 14, 2013
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What if every-day relationships like friendships and family are good enough? Those aren't "relationships" as they are being applied here, but they are still important to people and I would say can leave at least some people more than happy with their interactions with other people. Heck, some people can get by just fine with a pet as their only constant companion, and if those people are happy, it is really hard to argue that they can be "happier", as if happiness is something that can be measured.

For me, I'd probably be much happier in life with a few pets, some friends, and my current family without adding a wife and kids to the mix. Sure, if it happens and works I would be happy with that, but I can't fathom it working given my personality, and I'm currently perfectly happy with that.
 

TheIceQueen

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Sep 15, 2013
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For me, at least, this is completely true. I love my girlfriend and I've been the happiest I've been in my entire life since I started dating her. But then again, she's pretty much just exactly who I am and I do love myself, so ending up with another me that I get to hang out with certainly helps that out. I get to do all of the thing that I love, but with the benefit of another person with me!
 

staika

I am Tizzy's Willing Slave
Aug 3, 2009
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The White Hunter said:
Nonsense; Tizzy is single and he seems perfectly happy to just disappoint me and staika during raids.
Sad but true.

OT: I'm single and quite happy. Granted there are times when I do wish I was in a relationship but thise pass with time. Oh well at least my mirror won't leave me, seeing as it can't move.