Poll: Your view on parents spanking their children?

Hunter65416

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I got the occasional whack if I was really out of line, I guess its a functional punishment but I think the reason parents use it is because its quicker and easier than keeping them in timeout or taking something off them for awhile (which I think would be more healthy and effective form of discipline)

I think alot of kids would be more upset over the fact that mummy or daddy intentionally hurt them than feeling remorse for throwing stones at the windows or something.

In my home country (New Zealand) its now illegal to spank your children, I dont think its very in-forced but I do remember seeing the occasional news report about someone getting arrested for spanking their child in public.. While I disagree with parents spanking their kids as discipline method #1 I defiantly disagree with the government deciding how people should raise their kids.

EDIT: Well this certainly took off.. Come on guys, 500 more hits.. I . WANT . THAT . BADGE :D
 

Saladfork

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Adults behave like we should because we understand and care about the ideas of long-term consequences, for ourselves and (hopefully) for other people.

Children are often too young for either, and any deterrents against unacceptable behaviours must be fast and direct. Physical punishment is, for this reason, effective.

Now obviously you don't want to cause any kind of real damage, but sometimes they need a smack upside the head.
 

Keoul

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It's very effective when they're extremely young, cause at that age all they know is pain and pleasure, they don't understand consequences just yet so confiscating their toys or whatever probably would just lead to more crying and a bigger headache for the parent.

As they grow older then it's best to think up different punishments such as the naughty corner or confiscating stuff cause by then they'll understand that they did something wrong.
 

BathorysGraveland

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Well, I used to get the wooden spoon when I was younger. It quickly told me in my non-understanding mind that if I do that again, I will get hurt. In time I learned why this was. So yeah, it was quite effective, and certainly wasn't cruel. Children need some form of discipline, this is a fact, and a quick spank is definitely not out of the boundary of reason. I support it.
 

Overusedname

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I was told I was really good as a kid (which boggles my mind), so I got it like...once I think. 2-3 little hits for crossing the street without looking when I was like...three. It got the point across, and at that age I doubt anything else would have affected me.

It needs to be a last resort honestly. It's best if a kid never gets it, but I don't know how realistic that honestly is. And by age 8-9 it's absolutely absurd. That's when kids can actually start sympathizing with others, and you should just be lecturing them or taking away privileges.

I also know for a fact I could probably never do it my kids. XD

You can't hit them hard, that's for damn sure. Last resort.
 

Porygon-2000

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Jul 14, 2010
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It shouldn't really be used at any old time. But I think sometimes some physical punishment can really bring home what is and isn't good behaviour. Save it for when the kid throws a tantrum and breaks the mirror in the living room, I say.
 

BirdKiller

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Ah yes, good to know I'm not the only one that's seen the "wooden spoon/spatula".

IMO, parents should be allowed to spank their children, but like any other punishment or "corrective measures", there's a line when such thing becomes abuse.

That said, I don't have any kids, and I probably would not have the heart to do such thing. IMO, parents should stop spanking their kids once the kid is able to understand why some things are right and wrong and able to feel shame/guilt or the urge to do better.
 

FalloutJack

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Nov 20, 2008
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Man links own post to answer question. Film at eleven! [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.384811-Poll-Do-you-think-you-would-be-a-better-parent-than-your-own-parents#15277720]
 

Thaluikhain

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I can see the concerns about child abuse and that, and how it's teaching a kid to fear you, rather than respect you and all.

But how do you explain to a little kid that something is dangerous? They can understand that they'll be hurt if they try to do something, not that they might die if they do it.
 

Gordon_4_v1legacy

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Aug 22, 2010
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It is one of many tools a parent should be permitted to use within reason to discipline their children. As always, moderation and context folks.
 

ultrachicken

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I think the appropriateness of spanking depends on the kid. When I was young, I was very meek and sympathetic, as well as respectful of authority, so when I did act out, a time-out or a scolding was more than sufficient to keep me in line, and so I was never spanked (also, my parents have serious reservations about physical violence). However, I also knew plenty of children who obviously did not respond to that kind of parenting. Whether or not spanking would have helped is beyond me, as I can't seem to find statistics from multiple sources that actually agree on the effectiveness of spanking.
 

crazyarms33

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Overusedname said:
I was told I was really good as a kid (which boggles my mind), so I got it like...once I think. 2-3 little hits for crossing the street without looking when I was like...three. It got the point across, and at that age I doubt anything else would have affected me.

It needs to be a last resort honestly. It's best if a kid never gets it, but I don't know how realistic that honestly is. And by age 8-9 it's absolutely absurd. That's when kids can actually start sympathizing with others, and you should just be lecturing them or taking away privileges.

I also know for a fact I could probably never do it my kids. XD

You can't hit them hard, that's for damn sure. Last resort.

This.

OT: I got spanked. I was a bad kid. I was a terror to my mother and father and when I got really bad, I got popped on the butt. It settled me down right quick. At some point though, a child learns accountability and physical trauma becomes an issue. I'm not saying murder your children with a bat, I'm saying a little pain can go a long way in behavior remedies. Also I would probably hit my kids if they spread poop on the walls or attacked another kid, but thats about it.
 

Giftfromme

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It was fucking hilarious, I read a recent study that showed that kids should not be punished at all, in any form ever. I'm not joking, you literally give in to the children on every single demand, and it's meant to produce happier parents, better kids etc

I just think this is the ultimate form for political correctness, it's simply reached its zenith
 

scw55

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Nov 18, 2009
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I lived my child life in fear when ever my mum was angry. I would cry when she directed the anger at me because I knew what was going to await me. She then smacked me and it hurt so much.

So yes, if you want your child to live in the shadow of terror every time you or your partner raises their voice, go ahead and smack your child. I would never smack my child based on my own experience.

You could argue that the nasty experience stopped me doing naughty things. No. No it didn't. I still did naughty things because when you're a child you run off impulse. And to me a lot of the naughty things I did was fair. Like stealing my sister's money because I was given a money box and I didn't understand why it had no money in it. Or breaking the French Stick in half in fury because I wanted to pack it away in the bag because it looked fun putting a bag on either end. Or cutting the cord in a bobbin winder because I had sharpened a pair of scissors (at 6 years old I worked it out) and was busy playing with them, seeing what I could cut (including myself).

There are better ways of discipline that doesn't physically hurt your child. Children are not idiots. They do listen to people. Just freccing tell them what they did wrong in a voice that says "I am telling you something and you better listen". And if you need help, ask for help.

If my kid assaulted another kid, I would find it hypocritical for me to smack them.
 

Signa

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I remember deserving every swat I got as a kid. I was ADHD, and if the consequences weren't harsh and instantaneous, it usually was worth toeing the lines for my own personal needs.

Every kid needs different forms of discipline, and well-deserved smacks are part of that. I'm aghast to hear that a government outlawed spanking. I could see object assisted spanking, like belts or paddles, but slapping the stupid from the kid will be better in some cases than no spankings ever.
 
Aug 25, 2009
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Since it's been proved that physically hitting children damages their educational development, I'm going to go with it's never acceptable.

I wasn't hit, and I turned out fine, so in the same vein as everyone who claims 'since I was hit and I'm okay i must be acceptable always' I'll make the same claim in reverse.

Also, to claim that you came out the other side fine when you still think that hitting a defenceless innocent is acceptable I would say proves that you aren't fine.
 

Signa

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MelasZepheos said:
Also, to claim that you came out the other side fine when you still think that hitting a defenceless innocent is acceptable I would say proves that you aren't fine.
But they aren't innocent. That's the idea.
 

Spygon

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Being the Son of an physically abusive parent i can see how it can get out of hand.As in that situation i learned nothing expect how to run my ass off.I never knew half the time what i actually did wrong and thought that being hit all the time was a normal way of life.

But i can see sometimes kids will not react to anything else so my point of view is it should be a last resort and i mean last resort.Like the kid is seconds away from hurting themselves badly and they are totally ignoring you.
 

SpAc3man

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I think its an outdated form of punishment that is rather cruel and hypocritical when compared to the values that parents should be teaching their children. Definitely something that should be discouraged and not given any legal standing.

Hunter65416 said:
In my home country (New Zealand) its now illegal to spank your children, I dont think its very in-forced but I do remember seeing the occasional news report about someone getting arrested for spanking their child in public.. While I disagree with parents spanking their kids as discipline method #1 I defiantly disagree with the government deciding how people should raise their kids.
Fellow Kiwi here. Just thought I might offer some clarification on our law regarding smacking for everyone else.

Previously the law allowed parents who were prosecuted for assaulting their children to use the legal defence of "reasonable force". Meaning that the violent behaviour against their children was reasonable and should not be classified as assault. In 2007 a law was introduced that removed that defence and therefore effectively made it illegal to hit children to punish them because there was no longer a legal excuse to differentiate between hitting a child from hitting an adult. Prosecution for hitting a child is at the discretion of the police, if they feel there is no problem then they will not lay charges. If they do feel the parent is out of line then they will likely go ahead with a prosecution.