Poll: You're pregnant. What do you do?

[omega 616]

That's your opinion of the people you know, maybe you need to get to know some other people! Just for clarification, - if, in your original post you'd said "most of the girls I know," I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

I just read the first part of my first post in this thread again which says "I think you should only have a kid when you are living by yourself (AKA not at home with mum and dad), with a partner, in a long relationship and with well paid job(s)" which you agree with, you then say you would keep the baby and work your arse off for it.

Why be so contradicted? If you agree with my part why then say "I would still have it"?

I get for girls it's a little bit different 'cos there is something that will die inside them, which just sounds fucked up but at that moment in time it's a parasite. I also know you have this mothering instinct but it's like a cancer at this moment.

You have no means to support it, it's not a got a good start in life 'cos you said "It'd be up to the (as yet unknown) sperm-producer as to how much he wanted to be involved" ... it seems more selfish and short sighted to me.

And don't get me started on that really annoying thing women do when they see a baby, asking all kinds of useless questions (how much did he weigh? Who gives a fuck!), speaking in a stupid voice like the baby is going to respond like "well baby, although I prefer John, is quite well. How are are you? And your little ones?"

Whats with that "he's got so and so's nose" no, he hasn't ... all babies look like Whiston Churchill!

 

[Crenelate]

Snip

I think ether someone is a fan of your question or just thought of the same thing but wanted to spice it up a bit...

Seriously, I don't understand how but yeah just thought you'd want to know.

OT: Well I am a guy, but I did stand by my girlfriend who I loved that was pregnant with our child. However the baby, had.. a hole in her heart so we had to get an abortion even though we were willing to be parents. It was probably the saddest most dramatic moment of my life really and the guilt is still with me to this day. We're not together anymore ether so.. yeah.

Yeah, clearly abortion wasn't a touchy enough topic so they wanted to through rape into the mix as well!

 

[omega 616]

Snip-snap.

It's nice how these girls all managed to impregnate themselves.
Oh wait, they didn't. Dudes have just as much responsibility with their peen as a girl does with her vajayjay. But everyone rolls their eyes and goes `Oh, why did she get pregnant, she must have done it on purpose`.
Its a mystery.

Well unless the guy is going to grab a coat hanger or a baseball bat to kill the kid the guy has absolutely fuck all ability to do anything, sure he can plead his case but ultimately what the woman says goes, go ask fathers for justice.

Also there is this ... (go to 1 min)

 

[marfin_]

Personally I would reccomend abortion.

As someone who is adopted myself, I watch the state of Adoption, and unfortunately the chances of being adopted nowadays are few and far between! Last year only 60 kids were adopted in the UK which means most grow up in foster homes! That is not a good life!

Abortion is a lot more fair to the little chap/chappette!

(Oh, and actually entertaining the thought of bringing it up, it far beyond me! Not ready for that shit yet, my job is too important!)

It's better to kill them off then give them a chance at actually becoming something? Surely your not saying that 100% of all kids that grow up in a foster home have a bad life and grow up to become non beneficial members of society?

 

[Phasmal]

Snip

You... kind of missed my point entirely.

The guy has responsibilty to avoid getting people pregnant unless he wants to be a dad.
I'm saying, girls don't impregnate themselves, but somehow when they do get pregnant it's their fault.

 

[marfin_]

putting the child up for adoption is another alternative though.

 

[Zen Toombs]

As has been already said:

Be very confused, as I have man parts.

However, if I made a girl pregnant, I would let her decide but strongly lean towards either adoption or keeping the kid. I'd find a way to make either work.

 

[omega 616]

Snip

You... kind of missed my point entirely.

The guy has responsibility to avoid getting people pregnant unless he wants to be a dad.
I'm saying, girls don't impregnate themselves, but somehow when they do get pregnant it's their fault.

Not entirely, just only picked on one aspect of it.

"The guy has responsibility to avoid getting people pregnant unless he wants to be a dad." Really, it's the guys responsibility? The girl has nothing to do with it? There are no products at all that could be inserted into various places? Like an Arm or orally?

There is nothing she can take after sex, such as the morning after? Who says she can't carry her own condoms?

No, it's not the guys responsibility to stop it, if both people consent to sex then both consent to protected or non-protected sex.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Personally I would reccomend abortion.

As someone who is adopted myself, I watch the state of Adoption, and unfortunately the chances of being adopted nowadays are few and far between! Last year only 60 kids were adopted in the UK which means most grow up in foster homes! That is not a good life!

Abortion is a lot more fair to the little chap/chappette!

(Oh, and actually entertaining the thought of bringing it up, it far beyond me! Not ready for that shit yet, my job is too important!)

It's better to kill them off then give them a chance at actually becoming something? Surely your not saying that 100% of all kids that grow up in a foster home have a bad life and grow up to become non beneficial members of society?

No... Not 100%... The world rarely works in definates. But definately a high percentage do...

And I am not of the beleif that killing something without conciousness is killing at all, so unfortunately what ever further comback you have will not sway me what so ever... seriously, abortion to me, in the early stages, is no worse than picking a flower...

Saying that, i'd rather there was more education, and that people didn't get to the position where they have to consider such options, I am just of the persuasion that the option of abortion should be availiable.

 

[Phasmal]

snip

DERP.
I'm saying its not JUST the girls responsibility, but when she gets pregnant everyone tends to act like it is.

I didn't spell it out because I thought it was kind of obvious, but clearly not.
It just annoys me when guys act like they didn't have responsibility even when they were using no protection.

 

[Crenelate]

Snip

You... kind of missed my point entirely.

The guy has responsibility to avoid getting people pregnant unless he wants to be a dad.
I'm saying, girls don't impregnate themselves, but somehow when they do get pregnant it's their fault.

Not entirely, just only picked on one aspect of it.

"The guy has responsibility to avoid getting people pregnant unless he wants to be a dad." Really, it's the guys responsibility? The girl has nothing to do with it? There are no products at all that could be inserted into various places? Like an Arm or orally?

There is nothing she can take after sex, such as the morning after? Who says she can't carry her own condoms?

No, it's not the guys responsibility to stop it, if both people consent to sex then both consent to protected or non-protected sex.

Both of you Shh. Neither of you are saying it's one persons responsibility, you just want it to be acknowledged that BOTH parties' responsibility! Ok? If people are going to have sex, they should BOTH be taking the appropriate precautions, and they should BOTH take responsibility. It takes two to tango.

 

[Pandabearparade]

Well, if I got pregnant as a man I'd likely have a O_O look stuck on my face for a long time.




...yeah, I know that's been done like ten times now. Anyway, fuck if I know. You don't know what you'd do until it happens, I suspect. The theory and practice are miles apart for a lot of people.

 

[Phasmal]

Snip

You... kind of missed my point entirely.

The guy has responsibility to avoid getting people pregnant unless he wants to be a dad.
I'm saying, girls don't impregnate themselves, but somehow when they do get pregnant it's their fault.

Not entirely, just only picked on one aspect of it.

"The guy has responsibility to avoid getting people pregnant unless he wants to be a dad." Really, it's the guys responsibility? The girl has nothing to do with it? There are no products at all that could be inserted into various places? Like an Arm or orally?

There is nothing she can take after sex, such as the morning after? Who says she can't carry her own condoms?

No, it's not the guys responsibility to stop it, if both people consent to sex then both consent to protected or non-protected sex.

Both of you Shh. Neither of you are saying it's one persons responsibility, you just want it to be acknowledged that BOTH parties' responsibility! Ok? If people are going to have sex, they should BOTH be taking the appropriate precautions, and they should BOTH take responsibility. It takes two to tango.

YEEEESS...
Thats what I've been trying to say since the first `girls having babies to make them more mature` post.
Blaaaagh.

 

[omega 616]

snip

DERP.
I'm saying its not JUST the girls responsibility, but when she gets pregnant everyone tends to act like it is.

I didn't spell it out because I thought it was kind of obvious, but clearly not.
It just annoys me when guys act like they didn't have responsibility even when they were using no protection.

Did I at any point say anything like that it was only one persons fault or anything even close to that?

No.

 

[Crenelate]

OK! GOOD. GLAD THAT'S SORTED.

 

[trollnystan]

My reply in the "if you were raped"-thread:

I actually don't know except that, unless my health was in danger, I probably wouldn't have an abortion. Not that I'm against abortion in any way! It's legal in my country which I'm very glad of. It's simply a personal choice for me. I would either give it up for adoption - although I don't know how you'd do that in Sweden - or I'd keep it if I knew I could take care of it properly and love it like it deserves.

But in this case I'd also add that I'd contact the father first; if I decide to give it up, then he of course gets to decide whether or not he wants to keep it; if I decide to keep it, he needs to know he has a kid in the world and that he needs to decide whether or not he wants to be a part of its life or not.

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

That's your opinion of the people you know, maybe you need to get to know some other people! Just for clarification, - if, in your original post you'd said "most of the girls I know," I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

I just read the first part of my first post in this thread again which says "I think you should only have a kid when you are living by yourself (AKA not at home with mum and dad), with a partner, in a long relationship and with well paid job(s)" which you agree with, you then say you would keep the baby and work your arse off for it.

Why be so contradicted? If you agree with my part why then say "I would still have it"?

I'm not contradicted at all. You just seem to be trying to use what I've said to make a nonsensical argument, probably because I called your earlier comment into question. But anyway.

Yes, the situation you named is the ideal, as far as I'm concerned. That doesn't mean that it's the ONLY option, and if I wasn't in that ideal situation, I'd have no choice but to have an abortion, certainly not that in any other situation that abortion would be the "best" outcome. I know of more than a few successful single mothers of various ages, who all seem content, and bring their child(ren) up very well. As for my current circumstances, yes, I'm single, but I'm also very careful NOT to get pregnant, as, at the moment, I'm fairly happy living the lifestyle I lead, and having a baby, especially unplanned, would definitely impact on that.
If/when I find out that I am pregnant (just to make it 100% obvious, I'm talking about the FUTURE here) I will do my best to make sure my child is cared and provided for to the best of my ability. Whether the father of the baby has anything to do with it is up to him, whoever he may turn out to be. I'm fairly confident, that even in the nightmare, I'm-completely-on-my-own-and-unsupported scenario, I'd be able to do well by a baby.

If that sounds "conflicted" to you, fine. Makes sense to me, and I don't much care if ou understand what I mean (fairly sure you won't) since you've already admitted you think it's "different for girls" Too bloody right it is, we don't just get to walk away from the situation.

 

[Tipsy Giant]

If a girl isn't ready for a baby, she should take birth control pills or insist that her partner wraps it up.

If she doesn't, well, she deserves all the emotional side effects that come with aborting a baby or all the financial side effects of letting it live.

She could give it up for adoption, sure, but her body will never be the same. Either way, she's going to have some form of pain for not taking the necessary precautions.

If a girl decides to let the baby live and keep it, she better do her best to raise the baby right. There are far too many people with parental issues in the world. Don't need more. This becomes even harder without a strong father figure.

Unless she's raped! might want to include that disclaimer as the tone of the post might change from judgemental to down right mean.

 

[omega 616]

I'm not conflicted at all. You just seem to be trying to use what I've said to make a nonsensical argument, probably because I called your earlier comment into question. But anyway.

Yes, the situation you named is the ideal, as far as I'm concerned having said that, I know of more than a few successful single mothers of various ages, who all seem content, and bring their child(ren) up very well. As for my current circumstances, yes, I'm single, but I'm also very careful NOT to get pregnant, as, at the moment, I'm fairly happy living the lifestyle I lead, and having a baby, especially unplanned, would definitely impact on that.
If/when I find out that I am pregnant (just to make it 100% obvious, I'm talking about the FUTURE here) I will do my best to make sure my child is cared and provided for to the best of my ability. Whether the father of the baby has anything to do with it is up to him, whoever he may turn out to be. I'm fairly confident, that even in the nightmare, I'm-completely-on-my-own-and-unsupported scenario, I'd be able to do well by a baby.

If that sounds "conflicted" to you, fine. Makes sense to me, and I don't much care if ou understand what I mean (fairly sure you won't) since you've already admitted you think it's "different for girls" Too bloody right it is, we don't just get to walk away from the situation.

What I said about what you said had nothing to do with my argument/what I said.

You do have the ability to walk away from the situation, abortion is your way to walk away or if you want to be mean adoption.

Spoiler

yes, I consider adoption worse than abortion. Abortion is killing something that has no conscious. Adoption is either dropping a bombshell on the kid later in life, being bounced around homes feeling unloved or left to grow up feeling unloved ... all of which just seem cruel, especially since the adoption places already have kids in them, why add more unwanted kids to the place?

Like I said wanting to bring up a child in less than an ideal situation is short sighted and selfish to me, a point which you never touched upon. All you did was reiterate your point about being a single parent, that is all well and good 'cos that is how I grew up.

Shouldn't being a parent mean you want the best for your kid? Which would mean holding off on giving birth until you have a stable relationship, the dad to be wants a baby and you have good job. Bringing a kid into something less than that is not having the best for the kid, it's having the baby 'cos you don't want to kill it ... suddenly the needs of the baby are second to your want to have the baby ... unless I am missing something.

Which is why I said it seems conflicted.

"I don't much care if ou understand what I mean (fairly sure you won't) since you've already admitted you think it's "different for girls" Too bloody right it is, we don't just get to walk away from the situation." that doesn't make sense! Your fairly sure I wont understand your point 'cos you agree with a point I made?

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I'm really just interested to see what peoples decisions would be and why.

Well, since I'm sort of in the middle of my second trimester at the moment, I went ahead and voted "we're trying yay!" since... yeah, what I just said.

On the other hand, quite a few years ago I had a condom mishap and was worried that I might be pregnant. At that time, had it happened, I probably would have gotten the abortion. During that time in my life, I was not ready yet. For one thing, I had no medical insurance. Fortunately, I wasn't pregnant, so (other than being more careful with condoms in the future) nothing really came of it.

So yeah, I've thought about this a lot.