Porn and unrealistic expectations for men and women, and hentai

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

I can just imagine someone clicking on this from the front page expecting something completely different.

So, porn causing unrealistic expectations for both men and women is something we've heard much about. We've heard all about the effects it has on different types of people, from false expectations of orgasms, genitalia, flexibility, looks, etc.

However. What is not often mentioned when discussing this, is porn not involving actual human beings. Would animated porn create even more horrendously unrealistic expectations? Would people find it ridiculous and not generate unrealistic expectations? Does it encourage becoming a NEET and buying a Sakura body pillow? Will my future girlfriend expect tentacles to sprout from my back? Will she dump me when I do not meet this expectation? These are the important questions that the main stream refuse to answer, so I must turn to you, Escapists.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

Well as far as I'm concerned it'd all be offset by proper, genuine sex education in schools. I believe if young people were more educated on the topic then they'd view pornography of any kind as more entertaining than informative. That's the problem I had. I wasn't taught shit in school about it and thus learned through porn, which I've now realised is (must like Hollywood in regards to violence) an exaggeration on everything and makes it over-the-top for entertainment purposes. But it took me quite awhile to see that, and I can understand why it wouldn't click for a lot of people until they're way into their 20's.

So yeah, animated or live action, I think porn would be handled more maturely by young people if they had received prior sex education and already had realistic knowledge going in.

 

[Smooth Operator]

I would just round it all up as "if you believe entertainment equals reality then you got some issues to work out".
And it's not just porn, it is absolutely every topic imaginable, don't even know how many times I've had issues in relationships because my partner imagined shit goes down as Disney cartoons dictate. And I'm not talking about teenagers, I am talking about 20-30 adults who have never resolved their imagination.

 

[MHR]

Well as far as I'm concerned it'd all be offset by proper, genuine sex education in schools.

You expect schools to start explaining positioning and orgasms and such? Real life isn't a Monty Python movie where John Cleese demonstrated with his wife how to do sex in front of a bored class. Nah, schools taught me that penis goes in vagina, and should probably be accompanied by a condom. Every year there was some kind of class on it, and that was the grittiest take-away extent of the wisdom imparted.

Porn however, is fairly educational. I, and probably most people learned most things from that. Most people I assume would exercise some common sense, consideration, and not starting off with the pile-drive position. Though it's quite easy to forget however that people naturally grow pubic hair. Some sweetie you meet that's not a slut might not shave, so don't freak out if that's the case.

Hentai, I dunno. If that's all you're ever exposed to, I think that could screw you up pretty bad. You'd learn that women will naturally protest, a male orgasm immediately leads to a female orgasm every time, incest only means the sex is more exciting, and you can get away with sex in a packed train, etc. It's silly.

Captcha: got my mojo

Oh my, captcha

 

[Ariseishirou]

I think maybe it's shaped some uninformed views in virgins (or near virgins) who go in expecting their partners to be completely hairless, with gravity-defying tits or 8" dicks, who think they can just jam it in and have a good time, but I'm sure they're soon divested of the idea (or they will be soon if they ever want to get laid again.)

If you're an adult who's had sex in the real world porn's pretty harmless.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Could go either way.

Thing is I've been on the recieving end of these 'unrealistic' expectations, and what I took from the behaviour this guy exhibited was that he didn't understand the destinction between fiction and reality.

Problem is, porn often is fiction.

But it's easy to be misled into thinking otherwise when you see real people having sex.

What you don't realise sometimes, is this may have been multiple takes, careful planning, careful choice of who does what and when, potential preperation for certain things which can go wrong easily... (Anal sex isn't something you can just do at the drop of a hat without it hurting like hell, but porn leads people to think it is)

All of these tricks and fakery can happen that make something appear more appealing and reasonable than it actually is. Not to mention sometimes the people involved just aren't... normal as in. Just because they can do something, doesn't mean anyone can.

If a male porn star can keep an erection going for 6 hours at a time, is it reasonable to think that it would be something ALL guys can do? I don't think so.
And yet this kind of thing is what ends up happening somehow.


So, with real people involved, you easily fall for thinking that what is going on can be something you can do too. Which is... Often not true.

With animated porn, you can't directly assume what's depicted is actually possible. And if you have any sense you'd immediately know some things (like, say, tentacle porn) are quite obviously not even remotely real.
However, if you have enough sense to allow for unrealistic aspects of an animated depiction of sex, you might still end up falling for the same pitfalls as with regular porn.
While you may be making some adjustments to make the transition from 'animated' to 'real sex', you may still end up assuming things are OK and reasonable that aren't. (because they look as though they might plausibly work that way).


I think the biggest danger comes from seeing something in porn (wether with real people or animated), and, because it looks perfectly reasonable and simple, and you don't know any better, you assume that it works exactly as depicted even if in reality it doesn't.

You might say people should know the difference between reality and fiction, and sure, that's true.
But while knowing that might make you aware of big, obvious things, you could still easily fall for more subtle lies and tricks and things which, well, just don't really work that way in reality.

The killer is often in subtleties. And even otherwise very observant people may not realise what they end up believing to be possible, because they have no real-world point of reference for it.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Well for one thing, for lived porn you can blame the editing to why it look like men and women can last so much longer than real life (I read a few of these health advisor letters in the newspaper that some guys think that is the standard to have when having sex).

Hentai on the other hand is all animated hence they can be imaginative as they want (even when it get gross and fucked up). Honestly I would find that person to be a complete idiot to believed sex in hentai to be based on real thing than the basic thing to have sex.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Yes, There are issues associated, in fact there are already serious psychological issues in regards to those who are no longer attracted to actual human beings but instead are solely attracted to animations and this can greatly affect their ability to have actual healthy relationships. Due to the damaging affects this can have on ones life, they should seek counseling to help them overcome these issues since this is very difficult to do on ones own.

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

Porn can become an addiction for those who use it regularly. Having a digital harem of women ready to strip at a moment's notice and perform any sexual act at the click of a mouse is a tough thing to resist. What if one is single? Or if in a relationship that's unsatisfying?

Going a step further into getting one's rocks off from "no actual human beings" or "animated porn" is a sad state. If it's legal in your country, there's nothing to stop you and power to you, but it will mess you up if it becomes a primary source of arousal, leading to masturbation and orgasm.

A healthy, "sexually active" male should be interested in real life women. He should see a real woman and get an erection, want to have sex with her and pursue her. He should have sex with a woman and orgasm from the experience. If he prefers to be alone and get off on Internet films, live action or otherwise, it's his choice to make but it's not the healthier one.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I would just round it all up as "if you believe entertainment equals reality then you got some issues to work out".
And it's not just porn, it is absolutely every topic imaginable, don't even know how many times I've had issues in relationships because my partner imagined shit goes down as Disney cartoons dictate. And I'm not talking about teenagers, I am talking about 20-30 adults who have never resolved their imagination.

That's always a problem, yes. OTOH, people absorb messages without realising it, especially about issues they don't know anything about from the real world.

 

[Dizchu]

Porn's great. Hentai's great. But they are not substitutes for "the real thing" and the sooner people realise this, the better. This doesn't mean that if you look at lots of porn and are unable to sleep with anyone in real life, it makes you a bad person. It means people should realise that one is fantasy, specifically designed to satisfy a bunch of different kinks and the other is a much more spontaneous thing.

Porn creating unrealistic expectations is not the fault of porn. It is the result of poor sex education, sexism, the taboo nature of sex, a lack of familiarity with the bodies of others, etc. Maybe the more "mainstream" porn industry (that I personally have zero interest in) is stuck in a cheesy, clichéd, extremely unrealistic fantasy world and tries to pass it off as the norm.

But look at it this way. We don't complain about crime dramas for not showing hours and hours of paperwork, we don't complain about The Lord of the Rings movies because they don't include a scene where Frodo has to go take a leak before leaving Rivendell, Die Hard doesn't end with an hour-long epilogue of John McClane in A&E getting glass removed from his feet. All works of fiction omit things that wouldn't be of interest to the viewer, or exaggerates certain things to create a greater sensation.

I personally can't stand it when people expect pornography to do the job of actual sex education.

 

[Recusant]

A healthy, "sexually active" male should be interested in real life women. He should see a real woman and get an erection, want to have sex with her and pursue her. He should have sex with a woman and orgasm from the experience. If he prefers to be alone and get off on Internet films, live action or otherwise, it's his choice to make but it's not the healthier one.

This is an interesting choice of phrases. I think you've forgotten, however, that we're not just members of a species, but also individuals, and that our "health" thus has to be measured in terms beyond the evolutionary. An adult homosexual male probably won't be attracted to real life women; this doesn't make him any less "healthy". It means he's very likely not reproducing, but again, that means little if we're only considering the man himself. Beyond that, I have two issues with what you've said:

Firstly, that sexual attraction to non-physically sexual things is inherently inferior to the real thing and thus (by implication) is a worse form of behavior. Sexuality as an element isn't so (if you'll pardon the pun) cut and dried as to be a yes or no proposition; this is true of nearly any species with high brain power. Take a look at the sexual side activities of otters, or walruses, or, if necessary, dolphins (but not just after you eat). I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) that you're speaking more against fetishes than paraphilias, but ultimately, the principle is the same: a minor modification that doesn't change the essential experience can provide what you need both to satiate your own sexual appetites, and let you reproduce. It may worsen your odds a bit, but in what was does it negatively affect health?

My bigger problem, however, is with your assumption itself, that (not to mince words) masturbating to depictions that don't involve humans is "a sad state". Dedicated relationships (where most sex takes place) require time, effort, energy (of many kinds), patience, and a dozen other things. They are, quite frequently, an incredible personal drain, and that the benefits often outweigh the drawbacks doesn't change that. Additionally, our Overculture's courting rituals leave a great deal to be desired, combining the rote going-through-the-motions mundanity of bureaucracy with the inefficiencies of more free-form interaction. Some people don't have the energy, will, or circumstance to go through all that; should they be denied having their needs met due to a simple quirk of fate? Some people have crippling social or emotional problems- some are flat-out crazy. Is it fair to deny them? But we have masturbation, a solution to all of these problems- one that costs nothing, takes as little time, energy and effort as it needs to (but can take as much as you desire), poses no risk of disease, no risk (unless you get really wild) of injury, causes no unwanted pregnancies (even the eugenicists have to give it that), promotes good health in several ways, and requires no other people even be aware of it, much less involved. If anything, it's less sad that these people have managed to subvert the existing behavior pattern and find a way to satisfy their needs (if not fully fulfill their wants). We should be rewarding them.

If you're following me so far, let's simply take the next step. The pornography industry has its downsides, as I'm sure you'll agree, but how can you degrade or exploit a cartoon?

 

[Fox12]

Well, I can't find cartoons attractive personally, and hentai would probably make me feel freak'n weird, so I can't say I have this problem. I've seen animated sex and nudity in non-hentai film, and all I can think of is how awkward it must be for the artists to draw that, and for the voice actors to stand there and grunt and moan. Just... ewww.

In any case, I have a hard time believing that a grown man would take an animated person over a flesh and blood woman/man. Part of attraction is personality. The people who have trouble with this, I think, are people who are already porn addicts. They can't find a meaningful relationship in the real world, so they seek pleasure elsewhere. I don't think it's the porn itself, though, I just don't think they know what else to do. It's really depressing. I just finished Welcome to the NHK, and I wonder how serious the problem is in Japan. I can't imagine someone living like that, but there are all sorts of people in the world.

 

[Queen Michael]

I don't think hentai gives me unrealistic expectations at all. It's not my fault, or hentai's fault, that my girlfriend keeps refusing to have eye-enlargement surgery.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

People who use porn or animated materials as the basis of their sexual appetites terrify me. I mean, most people do watch some of it at some point in their life but I'd like to think the majority understand that the acts depicted are as realistic as an X-wing's aerial characteristics. It's not real, don't take those expectations into a real bed.

 

[Kristoffer Mattila]

If anything it should lower expectations. Porn actors are always so gross.

Also now I wonder what sex ed looks like around the world. I'm a Swede and I was taught pretty much the whole shebang throughout my schoolyears in multiple iterations. My teachers were pretty adamant about making sure everyone got that porn is porn and that's not normal sex.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

I dunno, I just use porn (both animated and 'real-life') to satiate a need that's generally considered important for quite a few people. I know most of it isn't ever going to be associated in any way with reality. I thought that was already pretty apparent to most people.

I don't think it's something that negatively affects my health in any way.

'Professional' porn sucks the big one though. Amateur stuff all the way.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

With or without porn most people have unrealistic expectations about other people because the image we have in our heads NEVER quite matches up to the real thing. Sometimes its better IRL, sometimes worse, and sometimes just meh. Its a part of being human, and as teenagers we tend to put certain things like sex up on a pedestal partially because of the raging hormones, partially because of how "forbidden" it is and partially just because we've never actually done it. Its the unicorn that once we catch it find out its just a damn horse, no horn and we were building our expectations on something we'd never actually experienced.
Its like a lot of things in life, until we've done them, we don't really know what it will be like, if it will match up to what we think or if it will fall short of the mark.
So if one has unrealistic expectations because of porn, hentai or whatever? Fuck them, its their own damn fault for putting that shit up on an unattainable level.