Porn Detection Stick Will Find Your Hidden Stash

geldonyetich

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"The Porn Detection Stick uses advanced image analyzing algorithms that categorize images as potentially harmful by identifying facial features, flesh tone colors, image back grounds, body part shapes, and more. With less than 1% false positive indications, your search for contamination on your computer won't waste your time."
Sounds like it could find things on my computer that I didn't even know was porn!

Honestly, I'm not proud of keeping porn on my computer - I think it's a bad habit - but I don't have to worry too much about anyone stumbling across it because I keep it all in a heavily encrypted container. Unless this little USB stick is capable of doing what would take several months of codebreaking to do, I've little to fear of such a device.
 

goldfalsebond

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Nov 19, 2009
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another reason to love a Mac. Those PC users out there, i truely feel sorry for you and wish you luck
 

Jeronus

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Arkhangelsk said:
HA! Your plan is foiled, I've never downloaded porn ever! >:D
[sub]Unless it checks Internet history too... <.<[/sub]
I hope it doesn't because I would be screwed too. I wonder if this "Stick" can find hentai.
 

Double A

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crimson5pheonix said:
Double A said:
Hubilub said:
There are so many jokes I want to do right now...

Damn it, why such a teasing thread!?
What, like how a stick that finds porn? :p

OT: Glad I'm using a Mac. I think I accidentally clicked on an Eve Online add the other day.
I already beat you to that joke.
Fine, you get a cookie for being my first ninja.

 

Koganesaga

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Feb 11, 2010
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Like many have said, you're stupid to store porn on you harddrive unless one of two conditions are met: 1) It's some type of special where it's going to be on the internet once and only once 2) you are like one particularly disturbed individual I know and you don't wank to porn, but instead have a compulsive desire to collect it and have filled several half terabyte drives with it. That being said even if you don't meet the two above, you're effectively paying 100 dollars to invade someone privacy, and that I'm aware of we still have some degree of protection in those term you live in the U.S.A. as there is no way your porn (unless it's child porn in which case you're s sick fuck and deserve prison) could have any reason to be dug up by the government without your approval. May the makers of this vile software be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

P.S. If they can make a device they plug in and hunt down all your porn deleted or otherwise, what's to stop them from making such a device that can be plugged in and auto-detect all your pirated software, including those songs you figured nobody would miss?
 

crimson5pheonix

It took 6 months to read my title.
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Double A said:
crimson5pheonix said:
Double A said:
Hubilub said:
There are so many jokes I want to do right now...

Damn it, why such a teasing thread!?
What, like how a stick that finds porn? :p

OT: Glad I'm using a Mac. I think I accidentally clicked on an Eve Online add the other day.
I already beat you to that joke.
Fine, you get a cookie for being my first ninja.

WOOO! COO-- Are those real chocolate chips?
 

goldfalsebond

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Nov 19, 2009
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another reason to love a Mac. Those PC users out there, i truely feel sorry for you and wish you luck
thenumberthirteen said:
Such a device would also be extremely useful for recovering and organising all your lost porn. A force for good.
never thought of that. I love how there is at least one person who can find the best of things in anything. Even if it includes using something for the exact opposite purpose intended
 

Double A

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Jul 29, 2009
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crimson5pheonix said:
Double A said:
crimson5pheonix said:
Double A said:
Hubilub said:
There are so many jokes I want to do right now...

Damn it, why such a teasing thread!?
What, like how a stick that finds porn? :p

OT: Glad I'm using a Mac. I think I accidentally clicked on an Eve Online add the other day.
I already beat you to that joke.
Fine, you get a cookie for being my first ninja.

WOOO! COO-- Are those real chocolate chips?
No, they're made of porn detectors.
 

AboveUp

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May 21, 2008
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And this is why you have your own computer and not a shared family one.

I keep a shortcut to my stash on the desktop.
 

crimson5pheonix

It took 6 months to read my title.
Legacy
Jun 6, 2008
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Double A said:
crimson5pheonix said:
Double A said:
crimson5pheonix said:
Double A said:
Hubilub said:
There are so many jokes I want to do right now...

Damn it, why such a teasing thread!?
What, like how a stick that finds porn? :p

OT: Glad I'm using a Mac. I think I accidentally clicked on an Eve Online add the other day.
I already beat you to that joke.
Fine, you get a cookie for being my first ninja.

WOOO! COO-- Are those real chocolate chips?
No, they're made of porn detectors.
Oh good, I'm allergic to chocolate. *nom*
 

Baron Khaine

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Jun 24, 2009
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Ah, good thing if this lil sucker ever plugged into my HD, it'd just blow up.

SAFETY THROUGH QUANTITY FRIENDS.
 

the1ultimate

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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Tom Goldman said:
The product's description says: "The Porn Detection Stick uses advanced image analyzing algorithms that categorize images as potentially harmful by identifying facial features, flesh tone colors, image back grounds, body part shapes, and more. With less than 1% false positive indications, your search for contamination on your computer won't waste your time." It's admittedly not 100% accurate, but should give a good idea of the types of filthy images little Billy has been looking at after you've gone to sleep.
Surely just scanning the hard drive looking for a folder that's mostly jpgs will do the same?

Add in a trace for skintone hues and you've got the 99%.
And the rest is marketing!

Unless it's hidden in an encrypted folder (which I doubt the program would be able to search anyway), most of us could probably find a porn stash faster than this program, as well as finding any they may have hidden in their room.

I guess it's clear who they're marketing to, and the price is probably so high because they realise that they won't sell too many.
 

AvsJoe

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May 28, 2009
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Hmm... I have so many questions. For instance can it detect hentai? If so, then what's stopping it from bringing up normal artwork? What about riske images like scantily-clad women in seductive poses? Or, since my porn is stashed on a hidden blank CD, can it detect traces left behind on my disk drive? Oh well, it's a neat little device, sure, but I prefer the old fashioned way of finding porn: the search button.
 

crimson5pheonix

It took 6 months to read my title.
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Jun 6, 2008
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Of course the easiest way to stop this device is to set up a password to log on the computer. If they can't start Windows, they can't use either stick.
 

Twad

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Nov 19, 2009
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who need a 100$ stick when a simple search for jpeg images and looking up the historics or the internet browser does the trick?
 

CloggedDonkey

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Nov 4, 2009
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urge... to... make... dick joke... rising.


bu luckily I don't download look at porn, so I should be safe. but who knows, maybe my father(who is legally aloud to own porn and probably doesn't anyway) might have some.
 

mokes310

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thenumberthirteen said:
Such a device would also be extremely useful for recovering and organising all your lost porn. A force for good.
I know, right? Can't believe no one ever thought about this before?