Rambo The Video Game Gives You QTEs You Won't Believe

[The Rogue Wolf]

So they're honoring an 80's movie staple by creating an homage to bad 80's arcade games? I just... I got nothin', guys. I'd pan this crap if it was for the iPhone, let alone the PC. And they want people to buy it?

Promise me that Jim Sterling will write the review for this game.

I want fair warning before this happens. I'd like a chance to barricade the windows and hunker down behind something heavy and napalm-resistant.

 

[Aeonknight]

I will say this. It does look more interactive than beyond two souls. Not by a wide margin, but still.

You know... I'd consider this worse than Beyond Two Souls. You at least had control of your character, even if it was limited to a super linear "game overs are a failure of game design" clusterfuck.

 

[GiantRaven]

Could we be seeing Ride to Hell: Retribution dethroned as the shittiest game of the 2013/14 financial year? Will Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing be dethroned as the worst game of all time? All these questions and more will be answered if this game ever sees the light of day!

Probably not. Whilst this looks bland, it at least looks functional.

 

[DarkhoIlow]

Why does this exist I don't understand.

This game will flop more hard than Expendables the video game.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

Wow. It's 2014. How can anyone justify a game like that in 2014?

 

[Hazy]

I don't know why anyone is surprised that the game looks bad. When was the last time a game based on a movie franchise was good?

There are quite a few, surprisingly. Ghost in the Shell for the PS1, The Chronicles of Riddick for the Xbox and PC (as well as Dark Athena for PC, 360, and PS3,) The Warriors, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and Spider Man 2.

 

[MrBaskerville]

It was just a question of time until we regressed back to the old FMV titles of the 90s and now here we are...

But i guess it's better than them making yet another generic third person shooter. The arcade elements might be a bit fun, even though the game looks pretty bland.

 

[MrBaskerville]

I don't know why anyone is surprised that the game looks bad. When was the last time a game based on a movie franchise was good?

There are quite a few, surprisingly. Ghost in the Shell for the PS1, The Chronicles of Riddick for the Xbox and PC (as well as Dark Athena for PC, 360, and PS3,) The Warriors, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and Spider Man 2.

Blade Runner by Westwood! Alien Resurrection was surprisingly good also.

 

[Flames66]

I haven't seen shooting like that in fucking years! That's some golden eye shit, right there!

It REALLY looks like a cabinet arcade game, sub par graphics, super on rails ... it's got the whole vibe

I was thinking that. It looks like it would be great fun to play for five minutes in the arcade while you wait for the bowling alley to open. I wouldn't want to play it on my home computer though.

 

[xshadowscreamx]

I think we should all buy this game to mess up the establishment, it's what Yahtzee would want and probably say in his review like he did with ride to hell.

 

[Something Amyss]

It was just a question of time until we regressed back to the old FMV titles of the 90s and now here we are...

I think the FMV would actually look better.

So go play Far Cry 3? You can always just pretend to be Rambo in your head, the protagonist has little personality anyway.

And it's in first person, so it's not like you spend a lot of time looking at the character.

 

[Flatfrog]

I don't know why anyone is surprised that the game looks bad. When was the last time a game based on a movie franchise was good?

Goldeneye, probably.

Lego Star Wars

 

[Silvershock]

A lot of people in this thread are saying "light gun game", and you know what? Around 5 years ago, there was one!

Spoiler

And damned if this doesn't look like a direct follow-up. The original was based on the hardware from Ghost Squad with an upgraded screen. Despite really shitty graphics, especially early on - and yes, ludicrously hard QTEs - I actually found myself liking it as a non-stop frag fest. It's a challenging game, though that's often because it's beardy as shit.

This looks basically like a console version of that. Same concepts, same scenarios, even the same QTE to get under the tank. And you know what? As a competitive arcade gamer, I'd probably buy it. But then arcade ports are the only reason I ever bought a Wii, so what kind of chump am I?

 

[Arnoxthe1]

Why are we giving this game so much attention when it was clear from the get-go that it would be total crap? Besides, the best Rambo game stand-in has already been made. Far Cry 2/3 fills the hole rather nicely. No urban warfare though of course. Far Cry 2 comes closest IMO.