Spoilers follow for the December 8th episode of Raw.
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It's Slammy Awards time! Come see worthless "awards" that probably had all of their votes rigged! Sorry if I don't seem excited for the Slammy Awards, but I just don't really see the point, except to give everyone more or less a night off (for example, the main event tonight is Big Show vs. John Cena), since there doesn't have to be much done creatively and if I recall properly from previous years, there are fewer matches, too. Whatever. People like awards shows.
Jerry Lawler opens the show, in a tuxedo, as he brings out tonight's host, Seth Green. He does some basic introductions, and then The Miz comes out with Damien Sandow following right behind him. Green calls Sandow an A-lister, not Miz. Miz is here for the "This is Awesome! Moment of the Year." But we don't find out who won. We just get all of the nominees introduced. We'll find out the winner after the match.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins (with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury)
We've never seen this match before. No, sir. What did I say about creative getting to take the night off?
You pretty much know what you're getting from a Ziggler/Rollins match. It's got some good athleticism, it'll have some back-and-forth action, maybe one or two high-risk spots, and it'll be enjoyable. That's what you get here. It's shorter than you'd hope, and Mercury and Noble interfere in order to give Rollins the victory, but such is life. This is a decent enough way to kick off the show.
Match Rating: **1/2
Sting's debut wins the "This is Awesome! Moment of the Year." Seth Rollins gets to the podium and starts ranting against Sting. Sting isn't here to accept the award, so Rollins does on his behalf.
Kofi Kingston (with Xavier Woods and Big E) vs. Stardust (with Goldust)
I can't be the only one with no interest in this feud, right? The New Day is fresh, but Goldust and Stardust are the least intimidating heels in quite a while. It doesn't matter if Kofi and Stardust put on a decent match -- and hat's all this is; it's decent -- there's just nothing here.
Kofi wins with a top-rope crossbody splash. Really. That's all it took.
Match Rating: **
John Laurinaitis comes out to announce the "Biggest Surprise Return." If it isn't Batista, someone should be fired. Laurinaitis tries to get people to convince us that he should be in power now. Then the nominees are announced. Hulk Hogan, Batista, The Rock, and Ultimate Warrior are the nominees. I take back the Batista comment. Warrior should get it, even though the only one of the four to actually contribute to the product was Batista. We'll find out the winner after the commercial break. No surprises: Ultimate Warrior is the winner. But only because he died. Probably.
Paul Heyman and Seth Rollins have a discussion backstage. It hypes TLC and Brock Lesnar. Then we get ... a Divas match. Okay?
Charlotte vs. Natalya (with Tyson Kidd)
Charlotte is still on NXT, officially, but this is, as far as I know, her main roster debut. It's a good enough debut. Putting her in a match against Natalya is a good idea, since the two of them are both technically strong wrestlers. It's a short match, but it works. Natalya wins with a roll up countered from a Figure-Four Leg Lock.
Match Rating: **1/2
Santino Marella is out next to announce the nominees for the "OMG Shocking Moment of the Year." Seth Rollins' betrayal, Nikki Bella's betrayal, that whole thing involving Bray Wyatt and the singing kids, and Brock Lesnar conquering The Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania. The last one wins. Paul Heyman comes out to accept the award.
Bray Wyatt comes down to the ring next to cut a typical Bray Wyatt promo. He explains why the rocking chair Dean Ambrose destroyed mattered. Mostly, this segment just serves as a recap for the feud between the two. Wyatt rambles on for a while until Dean Ambrose comes into the arena in the back of an ambulance, with a table, and starts throwing weapons around like a boss. He eventually goes down to the ring to throw more weapons at Wyatt. It's almost like this is supposed to hype TLC. Wyatt eventually rolls out of the ring and escapes the punishment.
Jerry Lawler then gets to announce the nominees of the "Diva of the Year" Slammy. It's AJ, Paige, and the Bella Twins. If anyone put AJ wins it, it's because she's being punished for her relationship to CM Punk. But she does win it. She also becomes the first winner of the night to actually accept her own award. John Cena is interviewed backstage afterward, which has Cena hyping the main event, and TLC.
Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper
Harper's impressed us a lot since his debut, but in recent weeks, Rowan has also started to make an impact. Harper's still the better man in the ring, if only because he can do things that nobody his size should do. We don't get the real match that we should here, since Harper winds up throwing a ladder at Rowan and getting himself disqualified. Again.
Match Rating: *1/2
Rowan and Harper brawl a bit after the match, which concludes with Rowan knocking out Harper with some steps.
Naomi and The Usos are then shown backstage. The Usos won the Slammy Awards for best Tag Team. Naomi tells Jimmy that she's heard from The Miz's agent, and the agent is actually legitimate. She has a screen test later this week. It's almost as if Miz isn't the heel in this feud.
Adam Rose comes out to present the "LOL! Moment of the Year." Mr. T loving his mother, the WeeLC match, Damien Sandow's antics as Miz's stunt double, and Stephanie being thrown in the mud by Vickie Guerrero are the nominees.
Sandow's antics get the win. Miz and Sandow both come out to accept the award. Miz talks while Sandow pretends to talk. Miz thanks ... his face? Okay.
Rusev and Lana are out next. Lana makes fun of America and Jack Swagger. Then Swagger comes out -- and with a microphone. He says he's going to snap Rusev's ankle, like a good babyface does. They brawl a little and then Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock for a long time before eventually being broken up by the officials.
The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) and Ryback vs. Kane, The Miz, and Damien Sandow
Seth Green is on commentary. He's distracting, but not as distracting as Sandow, whose continued antics are more enjoyable than anything that happens in the ring. The heels dominate most of the match, but then Ryback gets in, turns things around, hits his finisher on Miz, and the faces win. It's a fun enough match, I guess.
Match Rating: **1/2
Seth Green tries to raise Ryback's hand after the match, but isn't strong enough. The Usos then put him on their shoulders and they all celebrate.
The presenter for "Match of the Year" is Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. There are some good ones, as well as a couple of questionable ones. It winds up being the Survivor Series match with Team Cena vs. Team Authority. That was a questionable one. Good, but not "Match of the Year" quality. Dolph Ziggler gets to accept the award.
AJ Lee vs. Summer Rae
Summer Rae dominates for most of the match, but AJ gets a single Black Widow in and makes Summer tap out.
Match Rating: *
Rob Van Dam then comes out to present the "Most Extreme Moment of the Year" award. Huh. He should start wrestling again sometime soon. Only one of the nominees was actually in any way, shape, or form "extreme," and that was Chris Jericho diving off the top of the steel cage. Thankfully, that was the one that won. Fandango comes out with Rosa Mendes and accepts Jericho's award for him. Why? Because Jericho put Fandango over at WrestleMania once. Okay?
Another "Santa Claus" (Mick Foley) and his "elf" (Foley's daughter, Noelle) promo happens. It's fun.
Big Show gets interviewed backstage next. He continues to defend his heel turn. The main event is next. Hooray.
Well, it's "next" after the nominees for the "Superstar of the Year" award are shown, and they're presented by Booker T. Nominees include Brock Lesnar, Dean Ambrose, Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns, Bray Wyatt, John Cena, and Seth Rollins. Roman Reigns wins. Yeah, the Slammy Awards aren't rigged at all. Sorry, but what did Reigns even accomplish this year when compared to ... everyone else on this list except Bray Wyatt?
John Cena vs. Big Show
A match we've never seen before! Can Cena even lift Big Show for the AA? What will happen? Can I be less enthused?
Cena takes a big beating early on. Like, a Brock Lesnar-esque beating. But it doesn't last forever, and Cena soon enough turns things around. An AA it hit, but Seth Rollins and J&J Security (Noble and Mercury) come out to give Cena the DQ victory.
Match Rating: **1/2
Seth Rollins was going to hit a curb stomp from the top of the ladder, but Dolph Ziggler came out to save him. Ziggler gets Rollins and J&J out of the way, but then Big Show punches out both Cena and Ziggler. Erick Rowan comes down to stop Big Show, but is stopped by Luke Harper. Harper and Show take down Rowan, and then Ryback comes down to take out both of them. I'm getting a feeling of déjà vu. Ryback tries to hit a Shell Shock on Harper, but Kane comes out with a steel chair and beats Ryback with it. Ziggler superkicks Big Show, Harper throws Ziggler through the table, Harper is hit with an AA by Cena, and then Rollins curb stomps our hero. It's as chaotic as it sounds. But it's not over here. J&J clear the announcer's table. They triple powerbomb Cena through it. That finally ends it all.
The Good: Mick Foley and Noelle?
The Bad: The Slammy Awards. Rowan/Harper. AJ/Summer Rae.
Match of the Night: Charlotte vs. Natalya.
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http://i55.servimg.com/u/f55/16/09/70/40/raw_lo10.png
It's Slammy Awards time! Come see worthless "awards" that probably had all of their votes rigged! Sorry if I don't seem excited for the Slammy Awards, but I just don't really see the point, except to give everyone more or less a night off (for example, the main event tonight is Big Show vs. John Cena), since there doesn't have to be much done creatively and if I recall properly from previous years, there are fewer matches, too. Whatever. People like awards shows.
Jerry Lawler opens the show, in a tuxedo, as he brings out tonight's host, Seth Green. He does some basic introductions, and then The Miz comes out with Damien Sandow following right behind him. Green calls Sandow an A-lister, not Miz. Miz is here for the "This is Awesome! Moment of the Year." But we don't find out who won. We just get all of the nominees introduced. We'll find out the winner after the match.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins (with Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury)
We've never seen this match before. No, sir. What did I say about creative getting to take the night off?
You pretty much know what you're getting from a Ziggler/Rollins match. It's got some good athleticism, it'll have some back-and-forth action, maybe one or two high-risk spots, and it'll be enjoyable. That's what you get here. It's shorter than you'd hope, and Mercury and Noble interfere in order to give Rollins the victory, but such is life. This is a decent enough way to kick off the show.
Match Rating: **1/2
Sting's debut wins the "This is Awesome! Moment of the Year." Seth Rollins gets to the podium and starts ranting against Sting. Sting isn't here to accept the award, so Rollins does on his behalf.
Kofi Kingston (with Xavier Woods and Big E) vs. Stardust (with Goldust)
I can't be the only one with no interest in this feud, right? The New Day is fresh, but Goldust and Stardust are the least intimidating heels in quite a while. It doesn't matter if Kofi and Stardust put on a decent match -- and hat's all this is; it's decent -- there's just nothing here.
Kofi wins with a top-rope crossbody splash. Really. That's all it took.
Match Rating: **
John Laurinaitis comes out to announce the "Biggest Surprise Return." If it isn't Batista, someone should be fired. Laurinaitis tries to get people to convince us that he should be in power now. Then the nominees are announced. Hulk Hogan, Batista, The Rock, and Ultimate Warrior are the nominees. I take back the Batista comment. Warrior should get it, even though the only one of the four to actually contribute to the product was Batista. We'll find out the winner after the commercial break. No surprises: Ultimate Warrior is the winner. But only because he died. Probably.
Paul Heyman and Seth Rollins have a discussion backstage. It hypes TLC and Brock Lesnar. Then we get ... a Divas match. Okay?
Charlotte vs. Natalya (with Tyson Kidd)
Charlotte is still on NXT, officially, but this is, as far as I know, her main roster debut. It's a good enough debut. Putting her in a match against Natalya is a good idea, since the two of them are both technically strong wrestlers. It's a short match, but it works. Natalya wins with a roll up countered from a Figure-Four Leg Lock.
Match Rating: **1/2
Santino Marella is out next to announce the nominees for the "OMG Shocking Moment of the Year." Seth Rollins' betrayal, Nikki Bella's betrayal, that whole thing involving Bray Wyatt and the singing kids, and Brock Lesnar conquering The Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania. The last one wins. Paul Heyman comes out to accept the award.
Bray Wyatt comes down to the ring next to cut a typical Bray Wyatt promo. He explains why the rocking chair Dean Ambrose destroyed mattered. Mostly, this segment just serves as a recap for the feud between the two. Wyatt rambles on for a while until Dean Ambrose comes into the arena in the back of an ambulance, with a table, and starts throwing weapons around like a boss. He eventually goes down to the ring to throw more weapons at Wyatt. It's almost like this is supposed to hype TLC. Wyatt eventually rolls out of the ring and escapes the punishment.
Jerry Lawler then gets to announce the nominees of the "Diva of the Year" Slammy. It's AJ, Paige, and the Bella Twins. If anyone put AJ wins it, it's because she's being punished for her relationship to CM Punk. But she does win it. She also becomes the first winner of the night to actually accept her own award. John Cena is interviewed backstage afterward, which has Cena hyping the main event, and TLC.
Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper
Harper's impressed us a lot since his debut, but in recent weeks, Rowan has also started to make an impact. Harper's still the better man in the ring, if only because he can do things that nobody his size should do. We don't get the real match that we should here, since Harper winds up throwing a ladder at Rowan and getting himself disqualified. Again.
Match Rating: *1/2
Rowan and Harper brawl a bit after the match, which concludes with Rowan knocking out Harper with some steps.
Naomi and The Usos are then shown backstage. The Usos won the Slammy Awards for best Tag Team. Naomi tells Jimmy that she's heard from The Miz's agent, and the agent is actually legitimate. She has a screen test later this week. It's almost as if Miz isn't the heel in this feud.
Adam Rose comes out to present the "LOL! Moment of the Year." Mr. T loving his mother, the WeeLC match, Damien Sandow's antics as Miz's stunt double, and Stephanie being thrown in the mud by Vickie Guerrero are the nominees.
Sandow's antics get the win. Miz and Sandow both come out to accept the award. Miz talks while Sandow pretends to talk. Miz thanks ... his face? Okay.
Rusev and Lana are out next. Lana makes fun of America and Jack Swagger. Then Swagger comes out -- and with a microphone. He says he's going to snap Rusev's ankle, like a good babyface does. They brawl a little and then Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock for a long time before eventually being broken up by the officials.
The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) and Ryback vs. Kane, The Miz, and Damien Sandow
Seth Green is on commentary. He's distracting, but not as distracting as Sandow, whose continued antics are more enjoyable than anything that happens in the ring. The heels dominate most of the match, but then Ryback gets in, turns things around, hits his finisher on Miz, and the faces win. It's a fun enough match, I guess.
Match Rating: **1/2
Seth Green tries to raise Ryback's hand after the match, but isn't strong enough. The Usos then put him on their shoulders and they all celebrate.
The presenter for "Match of the Year" is Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. There are some good ones, as well as a couple of questionable ones. It winds up being the Survivor Series match with Team Cena vs. Team Authority. That was a questionable one. Good, but not "Match of the Year" quality. Dolph Ziggler gets to accept the award.
AJ Lee vs. Summer Rae
Summer Rae dominates for most of the match, but AJ gets a single Black Widow in and makes Summer tap out.
Match Rating: *
Rob Van Dam then comes out to present the "Most Extreme Moment of the Year" award. Huh. He should start wrestling again sometime soon. Only one of the nominees was actually in any way, shape, or form "extreme," and that was Chris Jericho diving off the top of the steel cage. Thankfully, that was the one that won. Fandango comes out with Rosa Mendes and accepts Jericho's award for him. Why? Because Jericho put Fandango over at WrestleMania once. Okay?
Another "Santa Claus" (Mick Foley) and his "elf" (Foley's daughter, Noelle) promo happens. It's fun.
Big Show gets interviewed backstage next. He continues to defend his heel turn. The main event is next. Hooray.
Well, it's "next" after the nominees for the "Superstar of the Year" award are shown, and they're presented by Booker T. Nominees include Brock Lesnar, Dean Ambrose, Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns, Bray Wyatt, John Cena, and Seth Rollins. Roman Reigns wins. Yeah, the Slammy Awards aren't rigged at all. Sorry, but what did Reigns even accomplish this year when compared to ... everyone else on this list except Bray Wyatt?
John Cena vs. Big Show
A match we've never seen before! Can Cena even lift Big Show for the AA? What will happen? Can I be less enthused?
Cena takes a big beating early on. Like, a Brock Lesnar-esque beating. But it doesn't last forever, and Cena soon enough turns things around. An AA it hit, but Seth Rollins and J&J Security (Noble and Mercury) come out to give Cena the DQ victory.
Match Rating: **1/2
Seth Rollins was going to hit a curb stomp from the top of the ladder, but Dolph Ziggler came out to save him. Ziggler gets Rollins and J&J out of the way, but then Big Show punches out both Cena and Ziggler. Erick Rowan comes down to stop Big Show, but is stopped by Luke Harper. Harper and Show take down Rowan, and then Ryback comes down to take out both of them. I'm getting a feeling of déjà vu. Ryback tries to hit a Shell Shock on Harper, but Kane comes out with a steel chair and beats Ryback with it. Ziggler superkicks Big Show, Harper throws Ziggler through the table, Harper is hit with an AA by Cena, and then Rollins curb stomps our hero. It's as chaotic as it sounds. But it's not over here. J&J clear the announcer's table. They triple powerbomb Cena through it. That finally ends it all.
The Good: Mick Foley and Noelle?
The Bad: The Slammy Awards. Rowan/Harper. AJ/Summer Rae.
Match of the Night: Charlotte vs. Natalya.
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If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.
