Spoilers follow for the June 16th episode of Raw.
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Raw opens with all the male Superstars on the stage, with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon then entering the ring to make a big announcement regarding the Money in the Bank title match. Thank goodness. I thought someone important was dead; that's usually why Superstars begin an episode of Raw on the stage. They talk about how the WWE needs a champion, and it's too bad we haven't had one over the last month or two. Daniel Bryan bashing begins, much to the crowd's chagrin. There will be a battle royal tonight to determine who will make it into the Money in the Bank ladder match. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns will be banned from entering. So will John Cena. Cena will get a chance, but he has to win against Kane in a Stretcher Match.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins
Counting this match, Seth Rollins' last three matches have been against Dolph Ziggler. It's kind of difficult to hate this matchup, though, given how good the matches usually are between them. This one is no exception. Ziggler and Rollins match up perfectly when it comes to styles, and that allows them to wrestle good matches. This one was going well until Dean Ambrose comes out, attacks Rollins, and ends a perfectly good match with a disqualification. Boo.
Match Rating: ***
Ambrose and Rollins then verbally spar on microphones. Triple H gets on the Titantron. He does his poor English accent again to announce that Bad News Barrett is going to fight Dean Ambrose.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Ambrose wrestling in a tank top and jeans, because he's hoping to take over for Luke Harper once the Wyatt Family's best in-ring worker goes on to do better things. Bad News Barrett is a champion and is extremely over, and his booking probably couldn't be worse. He's now The Authority's hitman.
Barrett and Ambrose deliver the second straight strong match tonight. It's physical, filled with strong and entertaining spots -- including a nasty spot in which Ambrose's face hit off the apron -- and has a great deal of back-and-forth action. Seth Rollins winds up interfering, Ambrose attacks him, and Ambrose winds up getting counted out. These two have to have a match at Money in the Bank, right?
Match Rating: ***
Following the match, Ambrose attacks Barrett. Why? Just 'cause. Backstage, a Vickie Guerrero cameo has her and Roman Reigns talking. It's a funny segment. Mostly because of Vickie, but hey. Reigns is getting better, I guess. "Cleveland? We're here." That takes us to commercial break. Time for Bray Wyatt.
Bray Wyatt (with Luke Harper and Erick Rowan) vs. Sheamus
Wyatt cuts a promo before the match, talking about how power is important. Having the WWE World Heavyweight Championship gives him power. He wants it. Seems like a bit of a character change, but I suppose it works. Why do I get the feeling that Money in the Bank is going to be like last year's Extreme Rules, which had The Shield winning the tag team belts and Dean Ambrose winning the United States Championship? Wyatt could win the Money in the Bank ladder match and Harper/Rowan will probably win the Tag Team Championships. Huh. I wonder...
On paper, this match seems like it should be pretty good. Wyatt's one a roll, and Sheamus has been putting on solid matches as of late. But for two Superstars of this caliber, this is disappointing. It's sloppy -- especially in the early going -- it's pretty slow, and it's not all that entertaining. The two men don't seem to have a lot of chemistry together. Or, perhaps it's just an off-day for them. Those happen. Midway through the match, The Usos show up, continuing their feud with Harper and Rowan, but effectively just serving as Sheamus' backup.
The finish comes from Harper and Rowan attacking Sheamus and getting Wyatt disqualified. Are we going to get a true finish on Raw this week?
Match Rating: **1/2
A ladder gets involved in the post-match brawl, The Usos do a spot that should've been much cooler than it is, and I really stopped caring. I don't know. The Usos bore me, Sheamus (often) bores me, and I've soured on Wyatt and his "family" lately.
A backstage segment involving coffee, The Authority, and Vickie Guerrero follows. It's less funny. Roman Reigns spiked a coffee in the earlier segment, so we're going to get some "funny" shenanigans later on tonight. Probably.
Apparently that happens right after the commercial break, as Stephanie is interviewed by Renee Young, and runs off midway through. Paul Heyman then steps up and hypes the Money in the Bank ladder match. Oh, and Brock Lesnar etc.
Heath Slater vs. Rusev (with Lana)
Lana cuts an anti-USA promo before the match. Because that's her thing. Heath Slater actually gets some mic time after Lana and Rusev are done. He gets the most props so far in the show for telling Rusev and Lana to go back to Russia if they like it so much.
Heath Slater becomes even more of a jobber now that his 3MB cohorts have been released from WWE. I guess he's a babyface now, though, so that's something. Rusev squashes him easily and quickly, tapping to The Accolade before it could realistically even start to hurt.
Match Rating: *
Stephanie is throwing up in the bathroom. Vickie is sent in to check on her. Vickie gets covered in projectile vomit. Wow. Vickie is put in charge as Triple H and Stephanie leave. So, this is how Roman Reigns will be added to the battle royal. Triple H specifically mentions how Vickie needs to ensure nothing goes wrong. So she'll put him in to spite The Authority. Okay. That's at least somewhat logical, WWE Creative. Good job?
That happens right after the commercial break. Roman Reigns also says that there's a good chance Stephanie gets fired next week. Why not on Smackdown? Oh, right, nobody cares about Smackdown.
Advertisements for Think Like a Man Too happen in the form of a backstage interview. Kevin Hart is our special guest tonight. Adam Rose interrupts, looking like Johnny Depp's version of Willy Wonka. Kevin Hart then joins the commentary team, presumably to continue to promote his movie.
Fandango and Layla vs. Adam Rose and Summer Rae
Before the match, we were shown a replay of a segment from Main Event. It was censored. Summer Rae used the "T" word on Main Event, but on Raw it was changed to "cat." That made me laugh. How did that originally make it past the censors?
Layla and Summer Rae both run backstage early on in the match, Adam Rose hits his finisher almost instantly, and this match was a complete waste of a segment. It existed to promote Kevin Hart's movie. And, I suppose, keep the Layla/Summer Rae feud going.
Match Rating: *
<color=Red>World Heavyweight Championship Qualifying Battle Royal
Roman Reigns is going to win, right? Probably.
It's really hard to say anything much about a battle royal. A bunch of people get eliminated, the "bigger" stars all last until the end, and then the finish happens. They're all pretty much the same. There was a lot of downtime in this match, though, which was weird.
Reigns and Rusev are the final two (Bo Dallas was third), and Reigns predictably wins. There was no other logical winner.
Match Rating: **1/2
Cameron (with Naomi) vs. Paige
Paige started off dominating the match (finally), but Cameron tricks her part way through in order to get any sort of offense. Paige soon turns it around and then wins in a pretty squashy fashion. Finally, a decisive win for Paige. This wasn't a good match, but seeing Paige on TV and doing well is encouraging.
Match Rating: *1/2
Goldust gets some mic time after the match. That's ... rare. And great. Give Goldust mic time every week, WWE. Goldust has a new partner, and we're going to find out who after the break.
RybAxel (Ryback and Curtis Axel) vs. Goldust and "Stardust"
Uh, what? Stardust is being played by Cody Rhodes. And Stardust picks up the win in a really quick match. I repeat: "Uh, what?"
Match Rating: *
<color=Red>World Heavyweight Championship Qualifying Stretcher Match: John Cena vs. Kane
You win a Stretcher Match by placing your opponent on the ringside stretcher and then roll him past a finish line, which is on the stage. I mention this because it's been almost 10 years since the last Stretcher Match. Kane lost to Edge. That was Kane's sole previous stretcher match. Cena's never been in one. They don't get used a lot because they're kind of dumb. An overuse of weapons occurs because there's no other way to "incapacitate" your opponent enough to roll him that far on a stretcher. It's basically a Last Man Standing Match, as you have to knock your opponent out that much in order to win.
Given that this is on TV, we're not going to get the big spots that would be required to make it a really good match. Or, that's what I thought. It doesn't turn out that bad. A table spot, a steel steps spot, and some more weaponry highlights the match. Orton and Rollins come out to beat on Cena. Dean Ambrose comes out for the save. Cena winds up winning, surprising absolutely nobody. So much for Kane getting a second shot at the title. Does he get left off the Money in the Bank card now? Hmm...
Match Rating: ***
The Good: Ziggler/Rollins. Ambrose/Barrett. Cena/Kane. Stardust?
The Bad: Slater/Rusev. Fandango/Rose. Kevin Hart's film promotion.
Match of the Night:John Cena vs. Kane.
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Raw opens with all the male Superstars on the stage, with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon then entering the ring to make a big announcement regarding the Money in the Bank title match. Thank goodness. I thought someone important was dead; that's usually why Superstars begin an episode of Raw on the stage. They talk about how the WWE needs a champion, and it's too bad we haven't had one over the last month or two. Daniel Bryan bashing begins, much to the crowd's chagrin. There will be a battle royal tonight to determine who will make it into the Money in the Bank ladder match. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns will be banned from entering. So will John Cena. Cena will get a chance, but he has to win against Kane in a Stretcher Match.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins
Counting this match, Seth Rollins' last three matches have been against Dolph Ziggler. It's kind of difficult to hate this matchup, though, given how good the matches usually are between them. This one is no exception. Ziggler and Rollins match up perfectly when it comes to styles, and that allows them to wrestle good matches. This one was going well until Dean Ambrose comes out, attacks Rollins, and ends a perfectly good match with a disqualification. Boo.
Match Rating: ***
Ambrose and Rollins then verbally spar on microphones. Triple H gets on the Titantron. He does his poor English accent again to announce that Bad News Barrett is going to fight Dean Ambrose.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Ambrose wrestling in a tank top and jeans, because he's hoping to take over for Luke Harper once the Wyatt Family's best in-ring worker goes on to do better things. Bad News Barrett is a champion and is extremely over, and his booking probably couldn't be worse. He's now The Authority's hitman.
Barrett and Ambrose deliver the second straight strong match tonight. It's physical, filled with strong and entertaining spots -- including a nasty spot in which Ambrose's face hit off the apron -- and has a great deal of back-and-forth action. Seth Rollins winds up interfering, Ambrose attacks him, and Ambrose winds up getting counted out. These two have to have a match at Money in the Bank, right?
Match Rating: ***
Following the match, Ambrose attacks Barrett. Why? Just 'cause. Backstage, a Vickie Guerrero cameo has her and Roman Reigns talking. It's a funny segment. Mostly because of Vickie, but hey. Reigns is getting better, I guess. "Cleveland? We're here." That takes us to commercial break. Time for Bray Wyatt.
Bray Wyatt (with Luke Harper and Erick Rowan) vs. Sheamus
Wyatt cuts a promo before the match, talking about how power is important. Having the WWE World Heavyweight Championship gives him power. He wants it. Seems like a bit of a character change, but I suppose it works. Why do I get the feeling that Money in the Bank is going to be like last year's Extreme Rules, which had The Shield winning the tag team belts and Dean Ambrose winning the United States Championship? Wyatt could win the Money in the Bank ladder match and Harper/Rowan will probably win the Tag Team Championships. Huh. I wonder...
On paper, this match seems like it should be pretty good. Wyatt's one a roll, and Sheamus has been putting on solid matches as of late. But for two Superstars of this caliber, this is disappointing. It's sloppy -- especially in the early going -- it's pretty slow, and it's not all that entertaining. The two men don't seem to have a lot of chemistry together. Or, perhaps it's just an off-day for them. Those happen. Midway through the match, The Usos show up, continuing their feud with Harper and Rowan, but effectively just serving as Sheamus' backup.
The finish comes from Harper and Rowan attacking Sheamus and getting Wyatt disqualified. Are we going to get a true finish on Raw this week?
Match Rating: **1/2
A ladder gets involved in the post-match brawl, The Usos do a spot that should've been much cooler than it is, and I really stopped caring. I don't know. The Usos bore me, Sheamus (often) bores me, and I've soured on Wyatt and his "family" lately.
A backstage segment involving coffee, The Authority, and Vickie Guerrero follows. It's less funny. Roman Reigns spiked a coffee in the earlier segment, so we're going to get some "funny" shenanigans later on tonight. Probably.
Apparently that happens right after the commercial break, as Stephanie is interviewed by Renee Young, and runs off midway through. Paul Heyman then steps up and hypes the Money in the Bank ladder match. Oh, and Brock Lesnar etc.
Heath Slater vs. Rusev (with Lana)
Lana cuts an anti-USA promo before the match. Because that's her thing. Heath Slater actually gets some mic time after Lana and Rusev are done. He gets the most props so far in the show for telling Rusev and Lana to go back to Russia if they like it so much.
Heath Slater becomes even more of a jobber now that his 3MB cohorts have been released from WWE. I guess he's a babyface now, though, so that's something. Rusev squashes him easily and quickly, tapping to The Accolade before it could realistically even start to hurt.
Match Rating: *
Stephanie is throwing up in the bathroom. Vickie is sent in to check on her. Vickie gets covered in projectile vomit. Wow. Vickie is put in charge as Triple H and Stephanie leave. So, this is how Roman Reigns will be added to the battle royal. Triple H specifically mentions how Vickie needs to ensure nothing goes wrong. So she'll put him in to spite The Authority. Okay. That's at least somewhat logical, WWE Creative. Good job?
That happens right after the commercial break. Roman Reigns also says that there's a good chance Stephanie gets fired next week. Why not on Smackdown? Oh, right, nobody cares about Smackdown.
Advertisements for Think Like a Man Too happen in the form of a backstage interview. Kevin Hart is our special guest tonight. Adam Rose interrupts, looking like Johnny Depp's version of Willy Wonka. Kevin Hart then joins the commentary team, presumably to continue to promote his movie.
Fandango and Layla vs. Adam Rose and Summer Rae
Before the match, we were shown a replay of a segment from Main Event. It was censored. Summer Rae used the "T" word on Main Event, but on Raw it was changed to "cat." That made me laugh. How did that originally make it past the censors?
Layla and Summer Rae both run backstage early on in the match, Adam Rose hits his finisher almost instantly, and this match was a complete waste of a segment. It existed to promote Kevin Hart's movie. And, I suppose, keep the Layla/Summer Rae feud going.
Match Rating: *
<color=Red>World Heavyweight Championship Qualifying Battle Royal
Roman Reigns is going to win, right? Probably.
It's really hard to say anything much about a battle royal. A bunch of people get eliminated, the "bigger" stars all last until the end, and then the finish happens. They're all pretty much the same. There was a lot of downtime in this match, though, which was weird.
Reigns and Rusev are the final two (Bo Dallas was third), and Reigns predictably wins. There was no other logical winner.
Match Rating: **1/2
Cameron (with Naomi) vs. Paige
Paige started off dominating the match (finally), but Cameron tricks her part way through in order to get any sort of offense. Paige soon turns it around and then wins in a pretty squashy fashion. Finally, a decisive win for Paige. This wasn't a good match, but seeing Paige on TV and doing well is encouraging.
Match Rating: *1/2
Goldust gets some mic time after the match. That's ... rare. And great. Give Goldust mic time every week, WWE. Goldust has a new partner, and we're going to find out who after the break.
RybAxel (Ryback and Curtis Axel) vs. Goldust and "Stardust"
Uh, what? Stardust is being played by Cody Rhodes. And Stardust picks up the win in a really quick match. I repeat: "Uh, what?"
Match Rating: *
<color=Red>World Heavyweight Championship Qualifying Stretcher Match: John Cena vs. Kane
You win a Stretcher Match by placing your opponent on the ringside stretcher and then roll him past a finish line, which is on the stage. I mention this because it's been almost 10 years since the last Stretcher Match. Kane lost to Edge. That was Kane's sole previous stretcher match. Cena's never been in one. They don't get used a lot because they're kind of dumb. An overuse of weapons occurs because there's no other way to "incapacitate" your opponent enough to roll him that far on a stretcher. It's basically a Last Man Standing Match, as you have to knock your opponent out that much in order to win.
Given that this is on TV, we're not going to get the big spots that would be required to make it a really good match. Or, that's what I thought. It doesn't turn out that bad. A table spot, a steel steps spot, and some more weaponry highlights the match. Orton and Rollins come out to beat on Cena. Dean Ambrose comes out for the save. Cena winds up winning, surprising absolutely nobody. So much for Kane getting a second shot at the title. Does he get left off the Money in the Bank card now? Hmm...
Match Rating: ***
The Good: Ziggler/Rollins. Ambrose/Barrett. Cena/Kane. Stardust?
The Bad: Slater/Rusev. Fandango/Rose. Kevin Hart's film promotion.
Match of the Night:John Cena vs. Kane.
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.