Real Final Fantasy VII Weaponry Causes Spinal Injuries

Tom Goldman

Crying on the inside.
Aug 17, 2009
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Real Final Fantasy VII Weaponry Causes Spinal Injuries


A man's obsession with real world Final Fantasy VII weaponry caused him more back pain than delight.

Wielding an actual Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII [http://www.amazon.com/Final-Fantasy-VII-Playstation/dp/B00000JRSB/ref=sr_1_1?s=videogames&ie=UTF8&qid=1296579151&sr=1-1] sounds like it'd be a barrel of laughs, but the reality of such an act is not quite as fun. A man that built replicas of Cloud's signature weapon out of actual steel and fooled around with them too much ended up with back problems.

That's according to this YouTube video, which shows his latest sword in action. When trying to demonstrate its capabilities, the creator is apparently forced to stop when his family intervenes.

"I don't care what the doctors say, I'm either going to break that... or... ugh," the sword's creator says in the video, laying the sword onto the ground and getting into an argument with a woman (probably his wife). "Doctor said he shouldn't be messing with the swords anymore, slipped a disc in his back," his friend reveals.

The man tries to get his dwarven acquaintance to wield the sword, which weighs 54 pounds, but is denied. Thankfully, a real-life Cloud was on hand to prove how deadly the man's Buster Sword is against a palette of wood.

Let this be a lesson: To be like Cloud you have to GTL for years on end and wear a backwards baseball cap and track pants. Even for him, using the sword was a tiring effort. RPG weaponry might be awesome in videogames, but in real life it'll only make you slip a disc.

Source: Kotaku [http://kotaku.com/5748448/this-real-final-fantasy-sword-does-some-real-damage]

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Assassin Xaero

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Jul 23, 2008
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Oh yah, now a bunch of JRPG-haters are going to come and say how impractical and stupid that sword is... I don't understand why this is any different from any other impractical weapon? It's not like they were saying it was realistic...
 

Tharticus

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Dec 10, 2008
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It's awesome but impractical. Seriously now, why kill your body just to look awesome?
 

fanklok

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Jul 17, 2009
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I'm pretty sure that guy also made Guts' sword from berserk, the video actually shows him forging it then usuing much better then this one.
 

LogicNProportion

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Mar 16, 2009
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I call bullshit and that these people are pansies.

I made one, I bought one, I've wielded both of them extensively with no problem. Guess I'm just superhuman...

PS. Their technique is also all wrong. They should bring it over their shoulder more, and then come down in one, full, swinging motion, letting momentum do the work.
 

Distorted Stu

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Sep 22, 2009
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Weird i watched this this morning on youtube and now its on hear.
I love how th ebuff guy struggls with the huge thing
 

Jazoni89

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Dec 24, 2008
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Imagine wielding that shit in public.

At least you can have five minutes of fun running around, and scaring people with it, until the police come and arrest you for carrying a very dangerous weapon.
 

SinisterGehe

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May 19, 2009
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LogicNProportion said:
I call bullshit and that these people are pansies.

I made one, I bought one, I've wielded both of them extensively with no problem. Guess I'm just superhuman...
Or a liar.
But yeah, that sword was... Stupid... But cool... Well at least it is a nice show piece.

Btw. The oddest Recaptha yet. "Fiery Rape"
 

EricBC

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Feb 27, 2009
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NameIsRobertPaulson said:
And I especially love that a guy tried to mug me in downtown Portland near an anime convention, while I was hitting up a Taco Bell in the crappy side of town, I simply drew the sword and he decided he'd rather be somewhere else.
...that's just awesome.

Regarding the video, I don't know whether to classify this as an overwhelming success or an epic fail.
 

Palademon

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Mar 20, 2010
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Who didn't see this coming? This kind of thing is part of the joke. The wepaons are the size of you.
 

Keava

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Mar 1, 2010
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Considering even simple longsword is heavy and hard to use by person without training, i don't really see reason to even attempt to wield the one from FFVII, as much as it look 'fun' back in the days the game was actually released over the years it lost its appeal.
 

Lord Beautiful

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Aug 13, 2008
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I'd imagine there'd be more of a reliance on momentum rather than raw strength to put that thing to any use. Captain Steakchest seemed to be doing it the hard way.

[insert obligatory "awesome but impractical" comment here]
 

KaosuHamoni

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Apr 7, 2010
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I want one. =D

I'm sure that this is the same guy who made the masamune...

Edit: YUP!!! I was right. Same guy

 

Desworks

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Nov 18, 2009
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This demonstrates why us Irish folk haven't taken over the world yet. When we make stuff, it tends to be awesome, but not very good for the intended purpose (see also: Titanic, DeLorean). Our time will come though!