Really Bad Jokes

[Asturiel]

This certainly is a Gruesome Encore of a thread made in the past.

(Special high five for getting that)

 

[Headsprouter]

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks ''Why the long face?''

Horse: ''My mum died.''

 

[Headsprouter]

Where's my dad when you need him...?

Lol i'm feeling the same way!

 

[Anarchemitis]

I noticed a thing lying there on the floor- wiat, that's not a Lion, it's a Giraffe!

 

[nuba km]

midget shortage

 

[robotam]

I rather enjoy terrible puns.
Like in the episode of South Park where the whale gets stolen from Sea World

Anchor: tracking down the kidnappers is proving to be one WHALE of a problem
Reporter: One thing for certain, something is certainly FISHY here at the Sea Park.
Anchor: Thank, Mitch. It seems that this problem is almost unBEARable.

 

[AstylahAthrys]

So an elf, a mage and a dwarf walk into a bar. The mage says to the dwarf "You're lucky you're so short! That bar hurt!"

Buh-dum-tish.

 

[imnot]

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks ''Why the long face?''

Horse: ''My mum died.''

I actually found that really funny...

 

[Numachuka]

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...

 

[deanzig]

Q: Why don't robots have brothers?

A: Because they all have tran-sisters.

 

[Angus565]

Spoiler: What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef

 

[Westaway]

So a seal walks into a club

 

[Anarchemitis]

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...

 

[Fetzenfisch]

A seal walks into a club.

Spoiler: what wobbles and flies in the air?

A Jellycopter

 

[Cheesus333]

Q: What do you call an editable Messiah?
A: Cheesus

Dude, shut up, you're killing me here!

I have a couple of my own that I've gathered over time.

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.
Q: What do you call a fly with no legs?
A: Still a fly, retard.
Q: What do you call a fly with no legs or wings?
A: Screwed.

Also, somewhat related to the above...

Q: What do you call a spider with no legs?
A: A raisin.

 

[jelock]

Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have ducked.

Similar.

A man walks into a bar......says 'ow'

 

[Frozenfeet2]

Gold walks into a bar and starts misbehaving. The barman says Au! Get out!

Why is iron hard to carry? It's Fe!

 

[Mordahel]

how do you get a baby out of a blender? nacho chips