I went over to one of my oldest buddies houses tonight. Hadn't seen him in a couple of years but have known him for over 15 years. We used to play magic a ton in our circle of friends. It wound only being three of us that evening but we reminisced about simpler Magic times and days of yore, and as usual we swore to meet more frequently. We rarely live up to these promises, but I think we may this time as my other friend is moving to Chicago in September, so it may be the last time we all get to play Magic for another 5 years.
Jealousy popped into my head this night though.
My friend is my age - 25. But he's always made "smart" choices. He's a great guy. I can't really complain about him much. He's pretty easygoing and not at all difficult to be around. He has a great girlfriend of 5 years now, and recently bought a new apartment. He has a brand new BMW, and a steady job doing something he is skilled at and enjoys. His problems are pretty minimal. I would call him "lucky" but I know it was careful planning and great decisions that got him where he is.
Also he has better Magic cards
...
I just look at what he has at my age and I wonder what went wrong.
Granted I didn't make smart choices. Nothing crazy or self damaging. But I always have chosen risky career paths being an artist, my life has been completely altered by a car accident rendering me broke and having to switch careers, and have had terrible luck with women (this is not a boo hoo I can't get a girlfriend thread, it is simply a fact. It is also just a direct comparison of both our lives).
I've always been the kind of person that needs to do what he loves and will risk everything to find it. But after 25 years and a lot of pain I have less than nothing to show for it.
I'm unemployed, suffered major body damage that will be with me for the rest of my life, and am alone.
Before everyone says "Sounds like you are suffering from depression", trust me, I figured that out a while ago. This isn't about my depression. It's just about two lives of two similar people and how differently they turned out.
I am deeply jealous of all he has and wish I had his security and stability and circumstance.
When it comes down to it we were both just a couple of artistic nerdy kids that were awkward with girls. Yet here he is and here I am.
So fellow escapists, I know there may not be much to discuss here, but what do you think of all that? Have you ever felt this way, or have a friend who makes you look at your life and say "frak"?
Or maybe you are that friend.
Essentially your life and where you are at now:
Are you glad things are the way they are, or do you have regrets?
Jealousy popped into my head this night though.
My friend is my age - 25. But he's always made "smart" choices. He's a great guy. I can't really complain about him much. He's pretty easygoing and not at all difficult to be around. He has a great girlfriend of 5 years now, and recently bought a new apartment. He has a brand new BMW, and a steady job doing something he is skilled at and enjoys. His problems are pretty minimal. I would call him "lucky" but I know it was careful planning and great decisions that got him where he is.
Also he has better Magic cards
...
I just look at what he has at my age and I wonder what went wrong.
Granted I didn't make smart choices. Nothing crazy or self damaging. But I always have chosen risky career paths being an artist, my life has been completely altered by a car accident rendering me broke and having to switch careers, and have had terrible luck with women (this is not a boo hoo I can't get a girlfriend thread, it is simply a fact. It is also just a direct comparison of both our lives).
I've always been the kind of person that needs to do what he loves and will risk everything to find it. But after 25 years and a lot of pain I have less than nothing to show for it.
I'm unemployed, suffered major body damage that will be with me for the rest of my life, and am alone.
Before everyone says "Sounds like you are suffering from depression", trust me, I figured that out a while ago. This isn't about my depression. It's just about two lives of two similar people and how differently they turned out.
I am deeply jealous of all he has and wish I had his security and stability and circumstance.
When it comes down to it we were both just a couple of artistic nerdy kids that were awkward with girls. Yet here he is and here I am.
So fellow escapists, I know there may not be much to discuss here, but what do you think of all that? Have you ever felt this way, or have a friend who makes you look at your life and say "frak"?
Or maybe you are that friend.
Essentially your life and where you are at now:
Are you glad things are the way they are, or do you have regrets?