Regrets and Magic: The Gathering - A personal Tale.

BlindMessiah94

The 94th Blind Messiah
Nov 12, 2009
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I went over to one of my oldest buddies houses tonight. Hadn't seen him in a couple of years but have known him for over 15 years. We used to play magic a ton in our circle of friends. It wound only being three of us that evening but we reminisced about simpler Magic times and days of yore, and as usual we swore to meet more frequently. We rarely live up to these promises, but I think we may this time as my other friend is moving to Chicago in September, so it may be the last time we all get to play Magic for another 5 years.

Jealousy popped into my head this night though.

My friend is my age - 25. But he's always made "smart" choices. He's a great guy. I can't really complain about him much. He's pretty easygoing and not at all difficult to be around. He has a great girlfriend of 5 years now, and recently bought a new apartment. He has a brand new BMW, and a steady job doing something he is skilled at and enjoys. His problems are pretty minimal. I would call him "lucky" but I know it was careful planning and great decisions that got him where he is.
Also he has better Magic cards :D

...

I just look at what he has at my age and I wonder what went wrong.
Granted I didn't make smart choices. Nothing crazy or self damaging. But I always have chosen risky career paths being an artist, my life has been completely altered by a car accident rendering me broke and having to switch careers, and have had terrible luck with women (this is not a boo hoo I can't get a girlfriend thread, it is simply a fact. It is also just a direct comparison of both our lives).

I've always been the kind of person that needs to do what he loves and will risk everything to find it. But after 25 years and a lot of pain I have less than nothing to show for it.
I'm unemployed, suffered major body damage that will be with me for the rest of my life, and am alone.

Before everyone says "Sounds like you are suffering from depression", trust me, I figured that out a while ago. This isn't about my depression. It's just about two lives of two similar people and how differently they turned out.

I am deeply jealous of all he has and wish I had his security and stability and circumstance.

When it comes down to it we were both just a couple of artistic nerdy kids that were awkward with girls. Yet here he is and here I am.

So fellow escapists, I know there may not be much to discuss here, but what do you think of all that? Have you ever felt this way, or have a friend who makes you look at your life and say "frak"?

Or maybe you are that friend.

Essentially your life and where you are at now:
Are you glad things are the way they are, or do you have regrets?
 

Godavari

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Aug 6, 2009
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Not to sound concieted, but I think I'm that friend. My "circle" is full of people who listen to screamo, do just about nothing, and take less advanced classes for easy A's. Those of them who are smart have little social skill, and those who have those skills are idiots.

I, in contrast, take AP classes and can hold long conversations with people. I'm looking into internships, classes, and activities that will help me later in life. It's just what I do. I wonder how they feel about me?...
 

BlindMessiah94

The 94th Blind Messiah
Nov 12, 2009
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Godavari said:
Not to sound concieted, but I think I'm that friend. My "circle" is full of people who listen to screamo, do just about nothing, and take less advanced classes for easy A's. Those of them who are smart have little social skill, and those who have those skills are idiots.

I, in contrast, take AP classes and can hold long conversations with people. I'm looking into internships, classes, and activities that will help me later in life. It's just what I do. I wonder how they feel about me?...
Probably nothing right now honestly. But in the future unless they have done something with themselves they will probably be jealous. Like I said I have nothing against my friend either - he's not stuck up about it and doesn't rub it in anyone's face. It's just how life works out sometimes I suppose.
 

S.R.S.

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Nov 3, 2009
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It's funny you say that you have a friend like that. I have one that's the complete opposite of me: I live on land he lives on a boat (water), I like ninjas he likes Pirates, obviously, he plays bass I play guitar.