Relationship Deal Breakers: The Other Side

newfoundsky

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Feb 9, 2010
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I'm a man of contradictions!

-I come off as very narcissistic, and will hold this image even though I accept all of my many many many faults. I find that a lot of people like the confidence pretending to be a narcissist brings. It may sound silly, but so far it's worked for me.
-I don't take much at all seriously, and hide my feelings behind humor.
-I'm scrawny and pale in a place that prides muscles and tans.
-I'm not very religious, in a place that belonging to one church or another is usually a deal breaker.
-I don't let go of past relationships that easily.
-I'm not that big on lubby dubby stuff, but will freely make out anywhere, try to get some in my truck, and relate most things back to sex, even though having sex is probably what I consider least important in my relationships. I like to have sex is all, but if someone says no, I don't pout.
-I will probably tell humorous stories at my girlfriends expense, then get upset when she doesn't find them funny even though all my friends do. But I don't do this to appear badass in front of my friends, I just think the stories were funny and worth sharing.
-If a girl says "It's e or the dog/friend/car/otherthingIenjoy", I always pick whatever isn't her, no matter how committed I am to the relationship.
-I don't really buy all the much jewelry for people
- My dressing style consists of blue jeans and either a white, gray, or black tea shirt, with a sport jacket and a flat cap. Throws a lot of people off.
 

TehCookie

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Sep 16, 2008
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Most of my turn offs can be grouped under unfeminine and geeky.
I'm messy, have no fashion sense, never wear makeup. Then I'm the traditional social awkward geek with no self confidence.

I'm also not a very touchy feely person so anyone with a physical love language is not compatible with me.
 

Johnny Impact

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Aug 6, 2008
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Where to begin? I'm really just a collection of faults:

I'm an introvert. I don't talk much. I don't have much interest in other people and have real trouble feigning said interest.

Conversationally retarded. Somewhat tied in to the above. Part of this is me, part of it is others. People generally want to talk about politics, TV shows, or sports, none of which I follow. If I bring up the stuff I've been thinking about lately I get a lot of blank looks.

I read. Seriously, most people consider that weird. Imagine, just printed paper, no pictures -- you have to make up an image in your head!

I am entirely too honest. Ask for my opinion and you will get it, complete and unvarnished. Also, I love to call people on their bullshit, which invariably infuriates them.

I'm a complainer. Tied in to the above. If something is not right, I will say so. I will go on to fix the wrong thing if I can, but first I whine about it.

I hold grudges. The concept of "let it go" is not one I am familiar with.

I am a musical snob. Not nearly as bad as I used to be, but I still tend to think people who only like what's on the radio are idiots. I live in a podunk town, going up the dial our choices are country / classic rock, heavy on the Led Zeppelin / country / "Wristcutters Anonymous" emo-screamo garbage / shitty autotuned pop / classic rock with less Zep. It's fairly dismal. I like a lot of music in many genres but none of it gets airplay.

I hate kids. I will never have a child, full stop. I think most women want children.

I don't smoke and won't have it in my home, car, or girlfriend.

I drink very lightly, like 1-2 drinks every 4-5 days. My dad was a drunk. One of my biggest fears is following in his footsteps. I'm enough of a loser without adding alcoholism to the mix. Anyway, I don't tolerate heavy drinking. She's going to have to crash at a friend's house.

Low self-image. I have a hard time with the idea that a woman might enjoy my company. I'd have a harder time figuring out why a woman stayed with me. They don't like that sort of attitude.

Overweight. I could stand to lose 50 pounds. Because I am a large person to begin with, it looks like less than it is. It's still unattractive.

Not a manly man. I don't have muscles. I can't fix your car or your bathroom faucet. Et cetera.

I don't dance. Ever. Not negotiable.

I am not religious. I am also not amenable to discussing the subject with believers. We all should have meaning in our lives. If you find that meaning by believing in an imaginary friend, good for you. Not even being sarcastic here. But I will not convert, nor will I pretend to understand or agree with your faith. You WILL leave me alone on the subject or I WILL learn your dogma just so I can dismantle it brick by brick.

I am a realist. Optimists tend not to get the difference between realism and cynicism.
newfoundsky said:
-I'm scrawny and pale in a place that prides muscles and tans.
Is there a place that doesn't pride muscles and tans? I live far enough north that you can only dress for the beach two months out of the year, where the water's so ding-dang cold you wouldn't want to get in anyway -- and even here, you're less than a man if you don't have muscles.
 

BreakfastMan

Scandinavian Jawbreaker
Jul 22, 2010
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I am quite emotionally damaged, very nerdy, can be quite narcissistic, bad in social situations, overweight, lazy, quite technical, nervous at parties, very pedantic, argumentative, sometimes mocking, and I don't have the best hygiene. Quite the catch, aren't I? ;D
 

Slitzkin

New member
Jul 3, 2011
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Physical appearance:
I have a large nose. It's not unsightly or anything, but some people are overly concerned with aesthetics.
I'm a hairy bastard.
I'm not fat, but I do have a doughy body.
I have the stereotypical English teeth.

Personality:
I can be very cynical at times.
I can be argumentative and opinionated (I try to diplomatic about this nowadays).
I can come off quite cold and aloof, however that isn't necessarily true.
I don't assume people's leve of intelligence, but when I know I'm smarter then someone I often subtley insult them.
I can go into long periods of heavy drinking.
I get pouty and broody when I'm upset.
Generally I give people the wrong impression.
 

hazabaza1

Want Skyrim. Want. Do want.
Nov 26, 2008
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-Sarcastically harsh. If people don't realize I'm being sarcastic, I imagine I could offend someone.
-Kind of introverted. I'll go out to meet up with friends and stuff, but I doubt I'll be happily hopping along to any parties.
-Don't know if it counts, but a lot of my humour tends to be... narcissisticly (sp?) based. Like "Wow, you're good at this" and I go "I know."
I'm generally humble but I just can't resist in so many situations.
-I'm a skinny fucker. You can see my ribs and shit.
-Have trouble sleeping. Not much of an issue now since I still live with the family, but I imagine if or when I get a place with my girlfriend she won't appreciate me staying up until 3:30 AM because I'm not tired enough.
 

grey_space

Magnetic Mutant
Apr 16, 2012
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I come across as very arrogant IRL

I'm Old. Only slightly older than dirt.

I'm into lots of different things which can apparently be both intimidating and annoying as I am always busy and/or know a little bit about everything.

I can totally plug myself into a game/book/tv show to the exclusion of anyone else in the room/apartment.

I'm large and incredibly clumsy.

I sweat loads. I mean loads.I mean no joke. a lot.

I am deeply deeply stubborn to the point of psychosis.

I'm very absent minded; today I managed to lose this weeks rent.

I am such a nerd.

I have a temper that terrifies people.

But I still manage to have a girlfriend so apparently there's someone for everyone!

:)

edit:spelling
 

ImBigBob

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Dec 24, 2008
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Let's get the obvious ones out of the way first: I'm nerdy, and I've met a fair number of girls who instantly think I'm a loser because I play a lot of games. I'm not into loud parties or bars (which apparently makes me boring), and the fact that if a hot girl walks by I don't even notice her has made me a weirdo among people.

As for things about me that might turn off people I actually like? Well, I'm not a fan of flirting. I mean, I feel attraction just fine, but flirting just feels awkward and forced when I try it. I'm also not a fan of texting, which makes me seem very reserved if someone's trying to have a conversation with me.

Basically, I have interest in other people, I just have trouble showing it.
 

TheRightToArmBears

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Dec 13, 2008
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I'll post the one common reason that the last two girls that broke up with me gave; I end up making girls feel unwanted. What I tend to do is become very withdrawn when I'm having my own issues, and I won't talk about them, so my girlfriend doesn't know why. It doesn't help that I feel silly being overly complimentary anyway (I refuse to ever call my partner 'baby' and I cannot do dirty talk for the life of me).
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
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-not very social..like....at all
-I'd prbably care more about my games than you
-I don't like romantic stuff
-don't put a huge effort into apearance...
-not what you'd call "hot"
-try and hold my fucking hand I will smack you
 

waj9876

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Jan 14, 2012
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The fact that I'm slightly overweight, and lazy, so this probably isn't going anywhere.

Only thing I can think of that doesn't make my...spouse? That's the most general term I can remember...things that don't make my spouse seem extremely shallow.
 

manic_depressive13

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Dec 28, 2008
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Haha sweet, I inspired a thread.

- I smoke and drink.
- I have no fashion sense.
- I lean towards the far left of the political spectrum.
- I'm atheist.
- I'm a vegetarian.
- I'm vocal about my beliefs to the point where it annoys most people.
- I don't like social gatherings or going out to places.
- I have no life skills.
- I'm completely unlikeable.
 

AquaAscension

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Sep 29, 2009
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Joseph Harrison said:
I would list my negative attributes but I think the list might drag on for quite a bit and I'm in too good of a mood to make myself depressed.

Needless to say something must be keeping people away.
I bet you are a really good person, but your post implies that you do and don't understand why people stay away. Roll your shoulders back, act like you've got it together, smile some, and find something you really like to do.

Can we not have topics which ask people to belittle themselves?

Sure, there is always something about yourself which WILL turn someone off of you, but unless you've got an abusive personality, a drug addiction, a work addiction, or an alcohol problem, you probably don't really need to change yourself to fit into someone else's idea of perfection. Your flaws make you human. If someone doesn't like you for them, tell them to go have a relationship with a painting.

That being said, if you have a horrible problem like one I mentioned above, get help.

Do not, however, DO NOT feel down on yourself for liking video games or creative writing or talking or small gatherings or good friends over random strangers at a huge party.

There are other people like you out there, and those people will find you awesome. Just be true to you, be kind, and don't give up.

I might sometimes turn people off with my positive outlook and general happiness, but I don't want to be around someone who's a downer, so I'm fine with that flaw.
And there are things on which I can improve, but I've got time. If only I had money to go along with that time...
 

AngloDoom

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Aug 2, 2008
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- I'm no looker.
- I'm rather thin; I could very easily (and used to) have a very nice body but I haven't exercised in a long time.
- I'm currently poor as hell.
- I currently live with my parents and while I know that'll change in six months or so, still not good to hear.
- I never forget arguments. I'm a forgiving person, but we'll be having arguments from months ago if the same thing keeps happening
- I never shout in arguments and some have said I come across as "mocking" because of this (though I really don't want to D= )
- I've got quite a poor self-image. While I dress up confident, I spend 10% of my time in a relationship wondering when they're going to realise they could do better.
- I'm not masculine, nor do I want to be.
- As above, I'm hoping to become a nurse and apparently that's embarrassing for some ladyfolk.
- My penis is far too gigantic for the average woman.
- I'm prone to sarcasm.

Awwwh, I'm sad now. It didn't occur to me how shit I am until now.

 

Ryotknife

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Oct 15, 2011
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-I dont pick up on subtext. Like...at all. Ive known a few girls that were really into me apparentely and from an outside perspective made it very obvious, except I didnt have a single clue. So communications with me are going to have to be blunt and direct. Thankfully I respect brute honesty.

- I am horrible with calendar dates. I still cant remember the birthdays of my family members (I have a general idea where they are), and I have even forgotten about my own birthday a few times (as in October 5th roles around and I dont realize that that day is my birthday, not "I blank out on my DOB on some form"). Which means that chances are very good im not going to remember my partner's B-day, or anniversery, etc.

- I am very....ecentric. I dont come off as such here on the forums I know. It is usually what people like about me, however it is also the very thing people hate about me if they spend a long period of time at once with me. It is good in small doses, but tends to be counter-productive in the long term.

-I am very practical, and impractical things annoy me to no end. Especially Jewelry. I despise jewelry as it is expensive and it serves no practical function. Watches and Wedding rings I can understand. Also most art annoys me, except architexture because that has a purpose.
 

Bara_no_Hime

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Sep 15, 2010
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Legion said:
So let's hear it, what do you think might put people off of you? Obviously bearing in mind that different people want different things in a relationship.
Kay.

Well, the whole insisting on bisexuality and non-exclusivity means that I'm probably off most people's relationship list.

Otherwise...

I love Mexican food. I can cook over a dozen Mexican dishes. Mexican food is one of the only things I actually cook on a regular basis. If someone were to not like Mexican food, they might find that rather off-putting.

Oh, and the fact that I collect gaming miniatures and perfume.
 

mechashiva77

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Jul 10, 2011
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Well, I'm rather quiet and I'd rather keep to myself than go out and hang out, so that would put off social butterflies. I have low-self esteem and can get a little bit crazy at times (not the crazy you shouldn't stick your dick in mind you), and I keep problems to myself out of fear I'll depress my partner. I tend to put these problems off until they build up, and that's when the crazy starts happening.

On the attractiveness scale, I'd say I'm about a 5 so people with super high standards of beauty would be put off. I'm not really attracted to black men (I'm a black woman), and so I go after white people more often than not. What I've noticed (and I am NOT saying all white people are like this) is that most of the people I find attractive would not date a black woman, so that's another off-putter.

As far as hobbies go, I think my nerdiness would put most guys off as well (those who aren't a part of the geek culture anyway). For guys within the geek culture, my noobish-ness and casual gaming would probably be an off-putter as well. Most of my life I haven't had access to consoles, information, and time as much to really get invested, and college doesn't help much either. I don't think most male gamers would be willing to understand that (NOT saying that's the case, but rather a gut feeling).

Yet despite all my self-perceived short comings I've managed to attract someone who has as much mental insecurities as I do, loves how much I want to get in the geek culture, reminds me of how beautiful I am every five seconds, and does his best to make me happy. We've been together for about five years.
 

That's Funny

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Jul 20, 2009
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-I'm very opinionated
-I'm stubborn as hell (don't get into an argument with me, I'll argue even when I'm wrong)
-I talk more than I should
-I'm an Atheist (But I respect anyone with a spiritual side)
-My smile isn't natural (See Creepy)
-I'm a huge geek
-I'd probably put career before my partner
-My fashion sense is somewhat questionable
-I have "issues" regarding my past
-I'm social when I want to be, so don't expect me to go clubbing
-I drink
-I've probably inherited a mental illness from my parents (Still not sure about that one)

Oh and I'm A Rhesus Positive.