Reliable Source: Blizzard, Fallout 3 and Trickery

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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Reliable Source: Blizzard, Fallout 3 and Trickery

On Reliable Source: Blizzard, Fallout 3 Sucks and Writer Tricks You Into Reading This Column.

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Feb 13, 2008
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RS: I don't get it, what about the Goblins? What can you tell us about their mount?

Blizz: They don't have a mount exactly; they have /piggyback.
Now you see, that would be an astounding idea.

Nice one Wilson, that border between satire and reality gets ever thinner. :)
 

Doug

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Apr 23, 2008
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Mountain Dew == Cancer killer? Where can I get this stuff in the UK?
 

syndicated44

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Apr 25, 2009
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At first I was thinking this was kinda dumb but your little articles are growing on me. Especially like the part about the really ultra super special starcraft 2 controller.
 

Soulgaunt

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Jan 14, 2009
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That was very funny, but why does it mention Fallout 3 in the title if it isn't in the article?
 

Fightgarr

Concept Artist
Dec 3, 2008
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Oh man. Back in the 'good 'ole days' of reliable source, there use to be boobs. At least there were chicks making out. Man... I remember back when (wikipedia quote here). Yeah... things used to be different.

I'm sorry, even if the Dew can cure cancer, I can't stand by it. Not only does it nauseate me to the point where I want to yell at my mom on while on teamspeak about how the phone is for her, but its also just... not Dr Pepper.
 

BehattedWanderer

Fell off the Alligator.
Jun 24, 2009
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Excellent as Always, Seth. Although the prospect of grandpa's being able to teabag and shout 'fag!' is one that I fear will now show up in all of those atrociously humorous nightmares. Ugh...your average macho shooter is one thing, deep inside his power armor, but Grandpa is a totally different fear altogether.
 

bushwhacker2k

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Jan 27, 2009
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... :O ...

Wow... This was an interesting read... Mountain Dew cures cancer, Blizzard calls themselves an 'aging relic' and is a money-grubber, Fable 3 will have two well known actresses making out and being addicted to gaming is a good thing.

Well, Blizzard being a money-grubber is pretty duh, but at least they deliver. For the rest, WOW.
 

CLEVERSLEAZOID

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Mar 4, 2009
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Am I the only one who failed to find anything about Fallout3 in there? :3

Also, lol at the idea of Wolves riding Boars
 

kementari

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Mar 18, 2008
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I don't think I've ever been less impressed with an article on the Escapist. Maybe I just don't "get it", but this sounds like the kind of uninsightful witlessness that you'd find in Maxim. It doesn't even read like Onion-style parody, just someone with a chip on their shoulder.

Don't like games/gamers/game developers/game communities (as is clear from the tone of the article)? Write for something else. It's a big internet.
 

blitz609

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Sep 11, 2008
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I just noticed that the phrase "Fallout 3" gets my attention just as much as the word "sex" does.
 

Razorback0z

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blitz609 said:
I just noticed that the phrase "Fallout 3" gets my attention just as much as the word "sex" does.
Imagine how hyped youd be about an Adult game set in the Fallout 3 Universe... called say.... Fallout 3 The Secret Sex Bunker.

Its like a dream come true.
 

Jagraffamel

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Aug 13, 2009
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I think it was supposed to be Fable 3 instead of Fallout 3. That game is never mentioned in any of the five articles. Trust me. I can read.
 

samsonguy920

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Mar 24, 2009
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/piggyback would be such an awesome feature for goblin travel. Of course it would come with an automatic /roll feature to see who gets on top and in control. Carrotonastick anyone?
Imagine the incense a worgen would feel, seeing an orc on a wolfmount. Riding wolves is cruel to the wolves. Save a wolf, kill an orc. Don't get me started on Tauren riding wolves...ouch.
 

Alex_P

All I really do is threadcrap
Mar 27, 2008
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Jerry's personal tales of blowing out NES carts and funny anecdotes about how long it took him to download pornography on his 300 baud modem seemed to be a hit with the students. Things were going well until a student asked him how old he was and why he was quoting Wikipedia articles verbatim.
Sounds like Scott "I'm a Hardcore Elite Old-School Core-Demographic Gamer Because I Played Zelda and Punchout [http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=282]" Ramsoomair.

-- Alex
 

sunpop

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Oct 23, 2008
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Lets face it cancer needs to become more extreme to kill off today's youth it needs to be rad and hip and fly you know all those words kids use these days.
 

Doug

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Alex_P said:
Jerry's personal tales of blowing out NES carts and funny anecdotes about how long it took him to download pornography on his 300 baud modem seemed to be a hit with the students. Things were going well until a student asked him how old he was and why he was quoting Wikipedia articles verbatim.
Sounds like Scott "I'm a Hardcore Elite Old-School Core-Demographic Gamer Because I Played Zelda and Punchout [http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=282]" Ramsoomair.

-- Alex

....... I can't tell if you're being serious or not. You do realise that comic is a parody of nerd rage....right? Especially given the last panel.
 

Alex_P

All I really do is threadcrap
Mar 27, 2008
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Doug said:
....... I can't tell if you're being serious or not. You do realise that comic is a parody of nerd rage....right? Especially given the last panel.
I'm not really seeing the satire. Mostly because of previous work like this [http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=269].

But, anyway, shrug.

-- Alex
 

Swaki

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Apr 15, 2009
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great as always, i especially liked the part about Scarlett Johansson and Zooey Deschanel making out, its always nice to read an article that leaves a feeling whit you
 
Feb 13, 2008
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Jagraffamel said:
I think it was supposed to be Fable 3 instead of Fallout 3. That game is never mentioned in any of the five articles. Trust me. I can read.
You might have also noticed the bit where it tricks you to read it without mentioning Fallout 3. Satire, dear boy. ;)
 

Playbahnosh

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Dec 12, 2007
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What is this about Fallout 3? It's not in the arti...ow...

GODDAMIT! People, I think we've been had....
 

Monshroud

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Jul 29, 2009
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This was a great set of 'articles'. I loved the whole grandpa calling me a fag and teabagging me, almost fell out of my chair.

Although now that I think about it, the Natal would probably put Nintendo and Sony out of business if they really did have a game where you control Scarlett and Zooey making out.

*Takes Notes*
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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wilsonscrazybed said:
Reliable Source: Blizzard, Fallout 3 and Trickery

On Reliable Source: Blizzard, Fallout 3 Sucks and Writer Tricks You Into Reading This Column.

Read Full Article
Did, did you steal my avatar guy?
Oh yeah and great work with the funny stuff, genius.
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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kementari said:
I don't think I've ever been less impressed with an article on the Escapist. Maybe I just don't "get it", but this sounds like the kind of uninsightful witlessness that you'd find in Maxim. It doesn't even read like Onion-style parody, just someone with a chip on their shoulder.

Don't like games/gamers/game developers/game communities (as is clear from the tone of the article)? Write for something else. It's a big internet.
You fail at satire reading.
 

suhlEap

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Apr 14, 2009
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unfortunately they don't sell it in england (to my knowledge) so plenty of cancer for us!
 

Fearzone

Boyz! Boyz! Boyz!
Dec 3, 2008
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"Jerry's personal tales of blowing out NES carts and funny anecdotes about how long it took him to download pornography on his 300 baud modem seemed to be a hit with the students."
Oh don't get me started. Don't forget to mention about when, near the end of a 500kb GIF d/l, the bulletin board sysop would shut down the site for maintenance. But I don't think there are many 20 yo's that remember that. I was around 20 when I was doing that, and I think my modem was 1200 baud then. I still have a few pics from that time.
 

Art_Vandalay

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May 19, 2009
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Perhaps this Washington state clinic has its own addiction to finding ways to get funding to treat lame diseases. They could put their resources to much better use finding other diseases that Gamer Fuel cures besides that pesky cancer stuff.
 

AnotherFineMess

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Jan 12, 2009
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"The Epic mount quest will require capturing a horse from Stormwind City, sacrificing it on the altar of Je'thakthenan then beating it relentlessly with the Staff of Immeratil."

Damn! blizz should read this, I would start playing wow only to do this quest!
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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Fearzone said:
Oh don't get me started. Don't forget to mention about when, near the end of a 500kb GIF d/l, the bulletin board sysop would shut down the site for maintenance. But I don't think there are many 20 yo's that remember that. I was around 20 when I was doing that, and I think my modem was 1200 baud then. I still have a few pics from that time.
I remember a sysop telling me that he was going to get some sort of remote satellite dish to connect to this thing called the internet. My friend and I didn't think it sounded that interesting so we asked him what it did, to which he replied, "More porn." If he only knew...
 

Freaky_Friday

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Jun 6, 2008
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If you enjoyed this week's article about Fallout 3, stay tuned for next week's sneak preview of Halo 4:Jesus God Make it Stop!
 

mshcherbatskaya

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Feb 1, 2008
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Fearzone said:
"Jerry's personal tales of blowing out NES carts and funny anecdotes about how long it took him to download pornography on his 300 baud modem seemed to be a hit with the students."
Oh don't get me started. Don't forget to mention about when, near the end of a 500kb GIF d/l, the bulletin board sysop would shut down the site for maintenance. But I don't think there are many 20 yo's that remember that. I was around 20 when I was doing that, and I think my modem was 1200 baud then. I still have a few pics from that time.
Oh, the modem nostalgia. I remember being so delighted when I was able to upgrade from my 14.4 to my 28.8 modem. I can still sing the little handshake tune, too.

Beeeeeeeeedoooooooooooooooo bedangbedangbedang psssssshhhhhhhh...