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- Thread starter DeadpanLunatic
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I liked this review a lot. In fact, I think that I gave you the highest score of the four judges. It hits all the main content points, and has a polished and refined presentation. I?m also pleased to say that after reading it again now, my impression remains unchanged.
However I did mention in my comment that preposition use was a bit iffy at places, so I?ll take the time to address that point now:
You also switch person a lot in the review which, while not being a bother to me, could be an issue for others. Second person pronouns are everywhere, with first person sentiments occasionally cropping up. Despite this, I do like the second person voice because I feel that it?s appropriate for describing what is essentially a ?god-game.? There are no players and characters. There is only you as you pull the strings from on high and supervise the proceedings.
The only other issue is that the writing voice feels a tad stilted, and I can?t quite put my finger on why. Perhaps it?s how the review seems to be composed of short and concise sentences creating a ?stop/go? feel instead of being composed of longer sentences that move between points gracefully and fluently. Your review isn?t terribly long, but it felt longer to read than it actually was, so perhaps that was a big factor for some of the low scores.
Anyway, I for one liked your review and thought that it was one of the better offerings in this competition. It?s certainly made me want to give 1602 A.D. a look, and surely that must count for something. Hopefully you?ll place better next time.
However I did mention in my comment that preposition use was a bit iffy at places, so I?ll take the time to address that point now:
This should be written as ?on which to create your first settlement?
This should be written as ?on which to settle uninhabited islands peacefully.? The adverb ?peacefully? splits the infinitive ?to go,? and ?on? introduces a relative clause.
I assume that you were trying to say one of two things here. Either ?take on all of your opponents by force? or ?take on your opponents by force.? As it stands, the use of ?of? here causes a double-take that could have been easily avoided. There?s no need for an apostrophe in ?opponents.?
This should be written as ?the joy arises from figuring out?
This should be written as ?if you haven?t got the power to go in directly.? Although ideally, "to go in" can be better said as "to enter" or "to engage."
You also switch person a lot in the review which, while not being a bother to me, could be an issue for others. Second person pronouns are everywhere, with first person sentiments occasionally cropping up. Despite this, I do like the second person voice because I feel that it?s appropriate for describing what is essentially a ?god-game.? There are no players and characters. There is only you as you pull the strings from on high and supervise the proceedings.
The only other issue is that the writing voice feels a tad stilted, and I can?t quite put my finger on why. Perhaps it?s how the review seems to be composed of short and concise sentences creating a ?stop/go? feel instead of being composed of longer sentences that move between points gracefully and fluently. Your review isn?t terribly long, but it felt longer to read than it actually was, so perhaps that was a big factor for some of the low scores.
Anyway, I for one liked your review and thought that it was one of the better offerings in this competition. It?s certainly made me want to give 1602 A.D. a look, and surely that must count for something. Hopefully you?ll place better next time.
I'm no literary expert and don't play RTS games much so i don't have much to sayjoethekoeller said:
There didn't seem to be much of a structure though, you kind of had to dig through for the good and bad points.
It might be easier to read if it was more like; Intro > Pros > Cons > Summary/Conclusion.
It is quite wordy too. I'd imagine these threads aren't being posted in much because people can't be bothered to read it. Again i'd recommend doing a quick summary of the pros and cons, and maybe even a vague scoring system (though nothing numeric or too blatant).
Other than that it did convince me to give it a go some time. Like i said i don't like RTS games that much, but it just seems like something worth trying out anyway.
Personally, I thought that the low position on the charts was undeserved, and it seemed like there was only 1 judge that threw you off from being in the high 80s low 90s.
Also, this may be about the bajillionth time I've seen you mention 1602 AD. Some of the flare for your obvious approval of the game should have been fit into the review, to spice it up a little.
Also, this may be about the bajillionth time I've seen you mention 1602 AD. Some of the flare for your obvious approval of the game should have been fit into the review, to spice it up a little.