REPORT: 12-Year-Old Financing ISIS Through Youtube Channel

PsychicTaco115

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[Img_Inline width="420" height="240" Caption="We need to engage ISIS in meme warfare"]http://i.imgur.com/hF5tR8L.png
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The Youtube channel [email protected]_xXx has been caught funneling its ad revenue to ISIS today, a direct violation of Google Community Guidelines.

"I'd really like to thank all 27 of my subscribers for making this dream come true. Thanks to you guys, we've been able to raise 39 cents to give to the Islamic State and help fund their mission of making a global caliphate. Remember to keep smashing that like button, commenting on the video below and subscribing to the channel. I'll see you guys later and remember, every little bit helps fund the fight against the Western infidels," said Sam, requesting to keep his IRL name anonymous so that his mother doesn't find out of his recent entrepreneurial endeavors.

Sam talked about his MLG work schedule as well as the troubles that come with e-fame on Youtube.

"My daily content of Minecraft tutorials, Call of Duty trolling montages, reaction videos to other Youtubers and other let's play related content have been instrumental in helping me acquire all of my subscribers. Most of them go to my middle school, I basically kept asking them to check out my new gaming channel and to tell all their friends about it. I've been trying to do collaboration videos with Pewdiepie, Markiplier and other big names but I guess I scared them off with my super edgy commentary of telling people to kill themselves and calling them faggots."

"It's not easy living the life of a hot gaming celebrity lifestyle like mine. I have to make sure that I'm on top of what's going on in the gaming and meme world to make sure my commentary is the dankest online. Making sure that I don't wake up my family by screaming at the game, even if it's justified, is quite a difficult task. I keep telling mom to buy me soundproof foam but she says that I'd have to buy it myself! I also have to make sure that the CIA doesn't hack into me but that's an easier obstacle; I'm hiding behind, like, 20 firewalls and proxies. They'll never find me," said Sam.

At the very least, Sam promises to save his virginity not for any other players' mothers but for the 72 virgins he will totally 'bang' when he dies.
 

Redlin5_v1legacy

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Aug 5, 2009
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Sam really is the kind of person who enables Terroism due to his hard work. This is where the Coalition against ISIS needs to concentrate!
 

Chaosian

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Mar 26, 2011
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This is the fakest news in the world. I mean seriously, what 12 year old uses the word "Instrumental"!

It makes me wonder though ...does Google actually have an anti-ISIS policy? I wanna know how they word that, haha.
 

Euryalus

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The Enquirer said:
Rad Party God said:
Are we still in April's Fools?
Every day is April Fool's on Taco News.
Every day is April fool's day when you have no fucks left to give... They took his family, man. They TOOK his family.

OT: Cheetos: The breakfast of genocide
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Why does this guy get 27 subscribers and all these years later I have fifteen? ;______;

Man, he's going to be upset when he finds out that Google doesn't actually pay out for amounts below $5.
 

Bobular

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I'm am now envisioning a crack team of ISIS terrorists watching ads constantly to generate money for there next big terrorist attack.

And when it happens (when, not if), the people will rise up and place all the blame squarely where it belongs, at YouTube's feat.

YouTube must remove all ads no. It is the only way to save the world.
 

Frission

Until I get thrown out.
May 16, 2011
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We now know what we must do.

The U.S has to do a pre-emptive strike against Sam's Mom's house!

OT: Good stuff.
 

Fijiman

I am THE PANTS!
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lacktheknack said:
Why does this guy get 27 subscribers and all these years later I have fifteen? ;______;
It is because the internet has not yet realized your greatness. Also, "Let's Inflict" isn't going to show up anywhere near as much as "Let's Play" will in a search, and that's not without good reason.
 

Drathnoxis

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I know we haven't met, but you should come join our fight overseas.