REPORT: Shigeru Miyamoto Calls Xbox/Playstation Owners "Pussies"

[PsychicTaco115]

[Img_Inline width="300" height="240" Caption="Miyamoto shows off his street cred"]http://i.imgur.com/jIZt3ok.jpg[/Img_Inline]

Game Designer and public face of Nintendo Shigeru Miyamoto called out both Xbox and Playstation console owners out on preferring their "hardcore games."

"You want your M-rated games? I got your M-rated games RIGHT HERE" he said, as he grabbed his balls.

When asked about his recent outburst against competing console manufacturers, Miyamoto had this to say.

"F**kers always want to see heads exploding, tits and exploding tits. What ever happened to childhood wonderment and joy? I'm a firm believer of continuing to promote such things in today's cynical world. Just because you like to see bloody things doesn't make you mature; it makes you a pussy Wii U and 3DS 4 Lyfe."

Hopefully, this means that the Wii U will have more games by the holiday season with Mr. Miyamoto's eagerness to spread joy throughout the world.

Source


-TACO News: What do you want from me?
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.859129-BREAKING-Anita-Sarkessian-Eats-Sandwich#comment_form#comment_form>Anita Sarkessian Eats Sandwich[/color]

 

[Roxas1359]

Oh Miyamoto, why'd you give Spencer and Yoshida those Super Bells. Now they're ruining the living room furniture and eating up all the indoor plants. >.<
*spraies Miyamoto with squirt bottle*
Bad developer, bad!

 

[ScrabbitRabbit]

These posts are pretty much the best reason to come to The Escapist nowadays. I DEMAND MORE!

 

[Rozalia1]

I see he went to the Douchtista school of cheap heel heat. However while telling someone to suck your balls is good, it'd be made all the better if it was #Suckmyballs with perhaps a #DealWithIt thrown in.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Oh shit, he's right. We are pussies. Miyamoto just went balls deep there.

 

[Racecarlock]

Make this guy part of the news team. He doesn't make crappy puns and puts actual effort into his humor. And it's good.

 

[McMarbles]

Daaaaaaaaamn, shots fired for reals yo. Shi-dog layin' down the truth bombs.

 

[Erttheking]

*Rips shirt off* You wanna 1v1 me Mr. Miyamoto!? You wanna 1v1 me?...You do? Um...didn't expect that...well...(Runs away)

 

[TheIceQueen]

Joke's on you, Miyamoto! I game on PC! Hahahaha! I have escaped your insult because you were not specific enough!

 

[scorptatious]

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN BOY!! That's some gangsta shit right there.

 

[Saltyk]

Oh shyt! Miyamoto be gangsta, Sun. He b Thugnificent fo' sho. More words!

Obviously, this is to the benefit of the hardcore gamer. I, for one, look forward to the announcement of Legend of Zelda: Miyamoto's Ballz, Super Mario: Exploding Tits, and Metroid: Modern Warfare.

 

[Julius Terrell]

This thread is pretty damn funny, but I wonder if really said all that? I can't imagine a good natured guy Miyamoto saying stuff like that. Funny nonetheless!

 

[MrDumpkins]

The sad thing is at first I thought this wasn't a parody because it's not really that far off from other clickbait articles I've seen.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Where have you been hiding these guns, Taco?

Just indiscriminatly firing away, you crazy person you.

OT: I honestly rather he would've said this than what he did in the actual news post.

 

[Ten Foot Bunny]

Wait... whose tits are exploding? I'm pretty inebriated right now and this question is of a most pressing nature.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

The actual news that inspired this thread isn't that far off, come think of it...

 

[Dragonbums]

Can Taco news just become a legitimate thing under the Escapist banner? I'm loving these posts. Keep up the great work Taco!

 

[DeaDRabbiT]

Anybody get the memo on whether exploding tits is misogyny or not?

I don't know about you, but keeping tabs on what my cis gender'd honky ass is supposed to be careful about saying or being interested in is fatiguing.

PS: I am pretty sick of this fake news. I was about to go buy me a Wii U to show Shig I'm no pussy.

 

[FPLOON]

This dude's my n***a right here! If he would have thrown in a "I innovate so hard, even PC players applaud me for my swag"-like comment, I would have ready'd my body to him fuck times over!

Anybody get the memo on whether exploding tits is misogyny or not?

Wouldn't that depend if we're talking about "male" tits or "female" tits in the first place?