REPORT: Study Shows Masturbation Causes Climate Change

ccggenius12

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So, if we jerk off fervently enough, we'll save those penguins in that front page article? Get cracking people, every knuckle child your fire off saves a penguin child!
 

Fieldy409_v1legacy

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Parasondox said:
Thyunda said:
PsychicTaco115 said:
Superbeast said:
Turns out they weren't talking about rain.
What if rain is just God's lube?
Water doesn't lubricate anything. That's why sex underwater is such a nightmare.
How do YOU know what under water sex is like?

*silently judging your and aroused*

Fieldy409 said:
Its not my fault its those damn lesbians! Being all sexy and stuff! How dare the lesbians do this to the enviroment!


Lesbians. Hwaaaaagh.

Also, every time you fap, you are using the universes energy and bringing the heat death of the universe slightly closer.
I blame them damn lesbians too. Being all free, sexy and hot. DAMN YOU "I Feel Myself", "Subby Girls", "Suicide Girls", "Karbo's Strapless Dildo", "Girls out West". ALL OF YOU!!

Don't judge me. :D
Oh man suicide girls, hate the name but all them tattoed ladies with pink hair and nose piercings and stuff.... Too bad im mister basic straight laced guy with no tatoos and wouldnt be their type in real life! Its allright my lonely tears can cool the globe to offset.

Can we buy back our carbon footprint for fappery?
 

one squirrel

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Aug 11, 2014
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Wow, If that is so, I can most likely limit the temperature increase to less than 1 degree till 2100 just by myself.
 

TheMann

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Jul 13, 2010
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Haha, nice thread, Taco. Your post reminds me of this comic:

Anyway, I gotta go; there's some polar ice caps that need melting.
 

Flathole

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Article is scientifically inaccurate. Masturbation causes global warming AND cancer, but only IF you do it in private.

Save a life. Save the future. Wank at your local public park.

You can trust me I've watched every episode of Big Bang Theory and an internet quiz said I have an IQ of 190
 

Erttheking

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Oct 5, 2011
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Shit! It's been MY fault all along? Damn it. Well if you're going to fuck up (See what I did there?) you might as well fuck up ALL the way.