- Mar 17, 2012
- 5,950
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- United States
[Img_Inline width="260" height="250" Caption="Everytime you cum, a polar bear cries"]http://i.imgur.com/8NEcg4z.jpg
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An independent study has shown that masturbation has a significant impact on global climate change.
"When you stroke your peener, it causes friction. Friction makes heat. Heat makes things hotter and causes the ice caps to melt, resulting in climate change. This is based on my findings and I find them to be 100% pure concentrated truth. It's an objective fact and I think it's objective so it has to be right" said Alan Richards, founder of the Christians United Monitor think-group.
When asked whether or not people would be willing to accept this new revelation as truth, Richards insisted that his research was absolute
"Let's be honest, no one actually READS science articles anymore. People see it on their Facebook feed whenever the "I fucking love science" group posts and all they do is read the headline and think they're smarter than everyone else. I could say that we found midichlorians in human blood and people would eat it up. No one likes real science, they just want the flash, sexy version of it. It's scientific black face."
"The point is, the entire world is going to have to go without masturbation or sexual shenanigans until this global warming stuff stops. It's either that or give up oil and I know for damn sure that's not going to happen. This will take the combined efforts of all of humanity but hopefully God will return so it won't be that long. Hopefully he won't release plagues of locusts again, I hate bugs" said Richards.
Hopefully, people will think long and hard about whether the facts match with reality.
<a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew-24Ad6t-g>Source
-TACO News: I'm Sorry, This Has Never Happened Before
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.934386-REPORT-Apple-Unveils-iPhone-7>Apple Unveils iPhone 7
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An independent study has shown that masturbation has a significant impact on global climate change.
"When you stroke your peener, it causes friction. Friction makes heat. Heat makes things hotter and causes the ice caps to melt, resulting in climate change. This is based on my findings and I find them to be 100% pure concentrated truth. It's an objective fact and I think it's objective so it has to be right" said Alan Richards, founder of the Christians United Monitor think-group.
When asked whether or not people would be willing to accept this new revelation as truth, Richards insisted that his research was absolute
"Let's be honest, no one actually READS science articles anymore. People see it on their Facebook feed whenever the "I fucking love science" group posts and all they do is read the headline and think they're smarter than everyone else. I could say that we found midichlorians in human blood and people would eat it up. No one likes real science, they just want the flash, sexy version of it. It's scientific black face."
"The point is, the entire world is going to have to go without masturbation or sexual shenanigans until this global warming stuff stops. It's either that or give up oil and I know for damn sure that's not going to happen. This will take the combined efforts of all of humanity but hopefully God will return so it won't be that long. Hopefully he won't release plagues of locusts again, I hate bugs" said Richards.
Hopefully, people will think long and hard about whether the facts match with reality.
<a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew-24Ad6t-g>Source
-TACO News: I'm Sorry, This Has Never Happened Before
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.934386-REPORT-Apple-Unveils-iPhone-7>Apple Unveils iPhone 7
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