Review: Velvet Assassin

Susan Arendt

Nerd Queen
Jan 9, 2007
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Review: Velvet Assassin

Take Hitman, remove most of the fun, add a few Nazis, and presto! You have Velvet Assassin.

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Kojiro ftt

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Apr 1, 2009
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It's funny how tastes vary. I hated Hitman, I thought it was a piece of crap. But I am really liking Velvet Assassin. No, it is not a AAA title. But it's fun. It has all the best parts of Metal Gear Solid (the stealth) with a little bit of Tenchu (when Tenchu was good) and a cool premise behind it. Granted, I'm only half way through the game, but I am enjoying it very much.

One thing I've noticed too is playing on harder difficulty can make a mediocre game more fun. I ran through Dead Space on normal and thought it was just okay. But a friend played it on Hard and loved the game. I'm playing Velvet Assassin on Agent difficulty, so maybe that can account for some difference.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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People said "Tenchu Z" was bad, too. But that still ranks as the most fun I've ever had in a stealth game...So, I'll be giving this a rent.

Kojiro ftt said:
I ran through Dead Space on normal and thought it was just okay. But a friend played it on Hard and loved the game. I'm playing Velvet Assassin on Agent difficulty, so maybe that can account for some difference.
Well, in Dead Space's case, it could be that fact that you get less supplies on higher difficulties, which may have increased the tension, making the game evoke stronger feelings.
 

Susan Arendt

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Jan 9, 2007
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No! The mellow drone of your normal review voice has changed, now i cant just sit here and be hypnotized...

Anywho, so not really good news from anyone about this game so far. I still want to give it a shot but now im not really sure its worth the money. I hope i can remember my interest later on when its not going for full price. Although it seems to have the one flaw that turns me off most games, that feeling of being incomplete or half assed. Still the people above me seemed to have liked it so theres hope yet.
 

Jiki

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Jan 21, 2008
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Meh, tastes are peculiar things indeed, like for example I thought the lightning and nature environments were absolutely magnificent and Violette herself one of the most beautiful game characters around, though I figure that depends heavily on whether a guy (or a, ee, woman) likes short hair or not.

Gameplay's bollocks tho. The determined reliance on crappily placed checkpoint was the final draw for myself. I'm a Hitman fan myself, so it's no surprise since I went in expecting a bit Hitmannish experience due to seeing Violette in a nazi suit in a load screen, but instead got rigid linear corridors and overall a boring experience. Couldn't really recommend it to anybody.

Also on a side note - dead space is only playable on hard in which is mutates from mediocre shooter into an actually compelling one.
 

Susan Arendt

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Jan 9, 2007
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Jiki said:
Meh, tastes are peculiar things indeed, like for example I thought the lightning and nature environments were absolutely magnificent and Violette herself one of the most beautiful game characters around, though I figure that depends heavily on whether a guy (or a, ee, woman) likes short hair or not.

Gameplay's bollocks tho. The determined reliance on crappily placed checkpoint was the final draw for myself. I'm a Hitman fan myself, so it's no surprise since I went in expecting a bit Hitmannish experience due to seeing Violette in a nazi suit in a load screen, but instead got rigid linear corridors and overall a boring experience. Couldn't really recommend it to anybody.

Also on a side note - dead space is only playable on hard in which is mutates from mediocre shooter into an actually compelling one.
Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.

Interesting point about upping the difficulty level, though. Not sure it would save this particular game, but it's something to consider.
 

Jiki

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Jan 21, 2008
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Susan Arendt said:
Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.
Well, she looked gorgeous in my version. :> Googled her just in case (since I'm the paranoid type who confronts own memory whenever possible) and she didn't look nearly as pretty as she did in the game (with my graphics settings :p). The cloths added to the effect though; the default cloths, I mean. Nazi suit didn't evoke any emotions and nightgown was on the opposite, that is - quite unlikeable.
 

neuromasser

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Jan 20, 2009
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Yay! Susan's voice! Wait... she doesn't sound pleased... why? Who made her angry? ...what? Replay Studios? I'm onto you, bastards!
 

Kevvers

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Sep 14, 2008
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Aww man, I saw this on steam yesterday and was getting myself worked up to play a decent sneaker... the concept was so good, boohoo...
Ah well a mediocre sneaker it is then.
 

Susan Arendt

Nerd Queen
Jan 9, 2007
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Jiki said:
Susan Arendt said:
Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.
Well, she looked gorgeous in my version. :> Googled her just in case (since I'm the paranoid type who confronts own memory whenever possible) and she didn't look nearly as pretty as she did in the game (with my graphics settings :p). The cloths added to the effect though; the default cloths, I mean. Nazi suit didn't evoke any emotions and nightgown was on the opposite, that is - quite unlikeable.
Which version are you playing? I was on the 360 (which I utterly neglected to indicate in the review -- shall fix that right now).
 

Khazoth

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Sep 4, 2008
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I have to say, I liked your review alot. I only wish I had saw this before I dished out the money to rent the game. To me though, the game was more Splinter Cell then Hitman.
 

Fingerprint

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Oct 30, 2008
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I really liked the review you gave, though it has now pushed me away from trying the game. At least from the sounds of things I won't be missing too much. It's a shame though, the game looked like it has so much potential (I'm with you on the interchangeable shoulder aiming). Lets hope that the better ideas this game has are taken and combined with others to make a truly fantastic stealth game.
 

Swaki

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Apr 15, 2009
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if only i had watched/read this review before spending 40 euro on this game, the game feels kinda clumsy and some of the guards look like duke nukem in all his squareness (i cant believe fire fox's dictionary allowed me to use the word squareness) not that i am a graphic nazi but i expect better graphic from a 40 euro game, if only they have used as much time designing the nazis and the environments as they did on Violette's perfect round ass and her latex costumes.

when do developers realize that horrible games will be forgiven for some ass shots (x blades, mass effect and every jrpg)
 

Swaki

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Apr 15, 2009
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antipunt said:
mass effect and every jrpg
uh......
what is it that confused you?

i didn't enjoy mass effect and before i bought it all i have heard about was that it had amazing immersion, which i never experienced cause i never really cared about the npcs enough to listen to their life story like i do in other rpgs, and a sex scene at the end, mostly the sex thing cause that seemed to be the major topic and when i finally got to it it was nothing but 1½ sec of animated butt.
and the jrpg thing cause other than weird story's and even weirder hair the female (male?) and their very exposed body parts seems to be the only reason to buy the games.
 

Susan Arendt

Nerd Queen
Jan 9, 2007
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neuromasser said:
Yay! Susan's voice! Wait... she doesn't sound pleased... why? Who made her angry? ...what? Replay Studios? I'm onto you, bastards!
Yay i c another holocaust coming up replay studios, say your prayers.

but like the game idea of switching shoulders to aim with and genuine German for once.
 

Nerdfury

I Can Afford Ten Whole Bucks!
Feb 2, 2008
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Ruh-roh, SUsan's not happy! You know what'll cheer you up? Do a review of Uwe Boll's game. I dare you! I triple-dog-dare you!
 

Mullahgrrl

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Apr 20, 2008
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Im glad im not the only ones that couldn't place tose kitty mines.

I just wanted to hold them in my arms.

Cheesy russians can eat banana instead!
 

Novacain4862

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Feb 12, 2009
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Nice review I liked it a lot, you obviously had some or a few of the same ideas I did when I played the game. Like you said, it really isn't a bad game but with its possible potential it really fell short. I like the little night gown :p