Roll For Sass! Check Out These Out-Of-Context D&D Quotes

Fanghawk

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Roll For Sass! Check Out These Out-Of-Context D&D Quotes

Seduce the dragon, cast for wall of horse, and lose your mind laughing at these contextless <a href=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/tag/view/dungeons%20and%20dragons?os=dungeons+and+dragons>Dungeons and Dragons quotes.

Let me tell you a secret about tabletop roleplaying: Creating epic characters and having adventures with them is a tiny part of the fun. The best part is to sit around a table with a group of friends and completely lose your minds laughing about the insane things coming out of everyone's mouths. That's why websites like Out of Context D&D Quotes are so great - anyone who's played a tabletop RPG knows exactly how they come about.

Of course, the only thing to make those quotes better is to visualize them, preferably in a fantasy setting so you can imagine them in character. Thankfully, one enterprising Imgur user is helping out by taking the out-of-context quotes and adding handy D&D themed images. And I have to admit, as a tabletop gamer and GM, I find myself nodding my head at how true-to-life these all are.

[gallery=3718]

Rolling for sass? Stealing aprons? Attempting to seduce a dragon? These are things that seem impossible unless you understand gaming table logic. I recommend you take some time to read through the assembled list for a laugh, hopefully before making suggestions of your own in the comments.

Source: <a href=http://imgur.com/gallery/Vhj78>Imgur

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crimson5pheonix

It took 6 months to read my title.
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"Because I'm a thief and I want things"- typical rogue mentality. They always feel like they're doing it wrong if they're not playing a kleptomaniac.

One of my favorites from one of my campaigns: "Well of course the monk should teach the treants kung-fu, we'll need someone to protect the town."
 

chewie8291

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One of our players was trying to get some information from a little child and the child responded. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers." Player, "I'm not a stranger, I'm an elf." Little girl,"OH OK!"
 

Fappy

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I'm currently playing an enchantment-focused catfolk sorcerer in my friend's campaign. Several sessions ago we met chaotic lesser deity that named his city "Heaven" presumably to troll the real Heaven. He was powerfully insane and illogical, which drove everyone in the party besides my character nuts when we tried to get information from him. In order to get him to help us I came to him with an orange in my hand and said, "I offer this as tribute."

"An orange?" he asked.

"No, it's a banana," I corrected him.

"Oh, that's the strangest banana I have ever seen, thank you!" he replied earnestly.

There were many conversations like this with that guy...

Best part was his theme song:

 

WindKnight

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I was playing a meanspirited halfling theif who, while at a tavern was flicking peanuts at the minstrel trying to get them into the hole thingy on his lute. The half-orc paladin took offence to this, put his hand over mine to stop me and whispered a warning in my ear. After confirming that all anyone else could see from this was the half-orc was holding my hand and whispering in my ear, I said loudly with a smile 'Why, Darling, I never knew you cared!'
 

Anayna

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Alright, I'm anal enough to bring it up. Every single one of the "D&D themed" images accompanying these quotes come from Paizo's Pathfinder, not D&D. Yeah, there's little to no difference, but credit where credit's due.

Oh, and I've certainly seen my fair share of Wall of Horse casts. Who needs high-level spells like Wall of Force when you can summon 1d4+1 horses?
 

Knight Captain Kerr

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I've been following this for a while on tumblr and it is pretty funny.

Anayna said:
Alright, I'm anal enough to bring it up. Every single one of the "D&D themed" images accompanying these quotes come from Paizo's Pathfinder, not D&D. Yeah, there's little to no difference, but credit where credit's due.
Well not all the quotes on the blog are from D&D. They come from numerous RPGs and not just fantasy ones.
 
Oct 10, 2011
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I actually saw the imgur post that all of these came from. Still funny though.

Maybe I'll get into D&D eventually.
 

MoonWhispers

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The wall of horse thing reminds me of a time we were discussing the fun of the clerical summoning spells, to which the highest one the cleric could cast would summon a Celestial Whale. Which lead us to discussing the ramifications of summoning such a whale, especially on land. Instead of Summon Celestial Whale, it became "I cast Wall of Whale!". Then we wondered how the whale appears, exactly. Would it, perhaps, fall from the sky? Would it be accompanied by a potted plant? To which the cleric and I exclaimed, "Oh no, not again!".

This was made more fun by the fact the cleric and I were the only ones who read the book, and everyone else just thought we were mad.

Ah, good times.
 

Reincarnatedwolfgod

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well that tumblr was entertaining. mildly annoying the dm/gm on occasion with silly bullshit sounds fun.
I hope one day partake in a table top game like dnd one day.
 
Sep 13, 2009
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I can't believe I didn't know about this site before. One of my favorites so far:

"The good news is, the rogue found the trap.

The bad news is, the rogue found the trap."
 

SmapdyAge8

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I will never forgot the time Thorgar the Barbarian decided to rape a small spiked dragon after defeating it. Especially when he succeeded at his grapple checks....
 

Grumman

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One of my fellow party members suggested looking for accommodation that caters to foreigners.

My response? "Right, slave pits it is!"
 

webkilla

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Ah yes - the joys of OOC things said during tabletop RPGs

I have a few gems from the Exalted game I ST:

"He chugged all of the semen, didn't he?" - PC (they had been at a party in Great Forks where another PC failed a temperance roll really REALLY badly...)

"I recall there was a coconut between you and the three, wasn't there?" - PC

"Entering magical realms is what we're here for. Onwards into faerie land" - PC (...as the circle is about to enter a rather ominous looking freehold)

"My boo is hungry! Will you starve him?" - PC (lunar to a raksha, in response to his solar mate being hungry...)

"Maybe after this you give girl solar some new, bigger boobs. And then fix nose of mine which has been broken too many times." - PC (Same lunar, upon the circle's solar doctor having learned a few new medical charms and making a suggestion on what they should all do next)

"This is insane. I approve." - PC

"Friendship butt stab?" - ST (trying to wrap head around a very creative but oddly sensible medical stunt)

"Exalted: A Charm for Every Fetish edition" - player, (on the topic of surprisingly good looking lobster girls and possibly bullying the circle's lunar into getting knacks to assume such a form)

"That's far too sensible for us." - PC (On whether to do a smart thing, or not...)

"Prostituting Miclos is always the last, best option for cash flow." - player, (on how to earn the players money... by whoring out the group's high Appearance diplomancer)
 

deth2munkies

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My personal favorite is from a Shadowrun game: "Yes, a bullet may have someone's name on it, but 20 kilos of ANFO is more of a 'To whom it may concern.'"
 

cleric of the order

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"I jump into the ork's ass."
"the orks applaud"
No seriously
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Arseplomancer
the first link s the thread, it has a nsfw pic so i didn't link directly
 

chozo_hybrid

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Honestly have to wonder what the ratio of made up for "lolz" and actual quotes from games are.

Some silly things happen in my games, but some of these come across as really forced. For the record, I'm referring more to ones on the site itself, the ones here aren't too bad.
 

Dying_Jester

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I wonder if here is anything in there from Nerd Poker. Quick! Someone look to see if there is anything mentioned about tracing dicks or killing giant babies!
But really, with all the stuff they spew on that podcast, these images and quotes are really, really tame.