Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Granted. You now have 100 copies of Lester the Unlikely.

I wish I didn't grow facial hair but still grew my other hair.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. to balance the change, your arm pit hair now grows twice as fast as normal.

I wish that I have every badge on the escapist

 

[scorptatious]

Granted. But you are banned for hacking into the Escapist to get all the badges.

I wish I had my own personal harem of beautiful women.

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. but they happen to be those assassin nuns and they kill you with everything they got on their arsenal.

I wish valve releases half life 3

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Granted, but it ends up not being very good.

I wish I had a cadbury's bournville bar.

 

[DJjaffacake]

Granted. Your friend stole it and used the internet on it to look up how to make bombs, and now the government's coming to get you.

I wish I my facial hair wasn't half dark and half blonde.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but your Wii breaks down before you can even put the disc in.

I wish for the Wii power adapter I ordered from Amazon would get here already...

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but everyone but you dies.

I wish I could speak more languages.

 

[ElecLeo]

Granted, but every country that primarily speaks those languages wants you dead for smuggling goods. I wish for a jetpack.

 

[idodo35]

granted but it goes out of control and you crash
i wish i was batman

 

[ElecLeo]

Granted. He somehow breaks your refrigerator.
I wish I had a portal gun.

 

[idodo35]

granted! you are stuck on an infinite loop
i wish i had super speed (like the flash)

btw @tizzy that was lame...

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. You get new, stinky, unusable toilet bowls.

I wish for a new van

 

[idodo35]

ya get one you get arrested because you own a van and are pedobear...

i wish i was immortal

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you also fall into an eternal coma.

I wish for a desk.

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granted. Enjoy your 2-D desk

I wish for walking dead vol 6

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but it's in Chinese.

I wish for a cup of yogi tea.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you get a really bad allergic reaction and are bedridden for a week.

I wish for eternal happiness.

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granted...

I wish for a bigger Google!

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted.
*types in google hammer instead*
oops..

I wish that the Internet becomes porn free