Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, everyone chooses to die.

I wish to make rule 34.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

STD's exist because of humans, humanity is erased from existence.

I wish I could remember that awesome wish I had for this thread.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's literally ruined by trying to remember it in the first place...

I wish my friend told me earlier that he had feelings for me!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, he goes into detail about what he wants to do to you, it's very graphic.

I wish I knew what to do with my life.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

You are struck with the realization that all of the events in your life lead up to the opportunity of you being employed as a sentient mannequin at the local second hand shop.

I wish all human societies were ideal meritocracies.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, only ignorant idiots end up with ALL the power...

I wish I did the Chop Suey dance!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's so bad everyone commits a self-righteous suicide.

I wish to face a God of war in combat.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the fantasy is too grand to not contain without brutality, so it's implodes out of existence...

I wish to deactivate the bomb!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it re-arms when you're alone with it.

I wish the past, present and future would merge into one.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

The world becomes incredibly boring.

I wish WE DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS CRAP!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the world ends... in shit!

I wish the page would load!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, the computer crashes when it does.

I wish to get some exercise.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, sentient lava shall surround you the more you move...

I wish I could settle it in Sm4sh!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the public still shuns them because of past transgressions...

I wish the brain bugs would go extinct!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. It is awful beyond imagining and you have to read it daily or or your face melts off.

I wish Phillip Seymore Hoffman was still alive.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. It was never good to begin with.

I wish I knew what NOT to wish for.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, once you're finished arranging and close the pockets they vanish into black matter.

I wish the biker look was back in fashion.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Civilization enters a Mad Max style apocalypse with various biker raiders fighting eachother for limited resources, however, everybody aspires to immitate their looks.

I wish I could grand other people's wishes based on my personal interpretation while still retaining my free will and freedom of movement.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it shuns everyone away and dying alone in bitter sadness is the healthier life-style...

I wish "smack my *****" was a true masturbation euphemism!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Ten million humans a year end up smacking it so hard that it comes off.

I wish I had a bag of those egg puffs you can get from Chinese eateries.