Science Proves Frank West's Zombie Survival Strategy Correct

Gigaguy64

Special Zero Unit
Apr 22, 2009
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I KNEW IT!!!
my plan shall go uninterupted!
to the genetic recombunator mr.smigglesworth!
 

Ohlookit'sMatty

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Sep 11, 2008
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I have my zombie apocalypse survival plan already worked out but it is good to know that we have science to back our crazy survival plans // So if you are caught in your nearest shopping mall takin pic and measurin our the size of the mall, number of shops and so forth and the guards there try and stop you, you can tell them 'It's ok, Im doin Science!'

-M
 

hansari

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May 31, 2009
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CantFaketheFunk said:
Cassi used a physics model - called, of course, a "random walking" model - to predict the movement behavior of these not!zombies, and found that the chances of survival were significantly higher for someone hiding (presumably remaining motionless) in a complex structure such as a school or a shopping mall.
And they called me crazy when I told them I would probably just sleep in during a zombie apocalypse...ha! Science prevails once again!!!
 

Chrissyluky

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Jul 3, 2009
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xmetatr0nx said:
Yay for wasting grant money! Now if we could go back to practical application of this guys talents the world can be a better place.
have you never heard this phrase? "the fun things in life all cost money"
 

stonethered

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Mar 3, 2009
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i'm sticking with the stockpiled canned food, ammunition, and water on top of a cliff w/ narrow access plan.

or a boat at sea, or an oil derrick. somewhere hard to reach with lots of food.
 

AWC Viper

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Jun 12, 2008
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jeez... you need scientist's to tell you that the shopping center is the best place to hide out?

i could have told you that.
 

A Raging Emo

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Apr 14, 2009
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Is it bad that my first thought would be how flawed that Zombie Surviva... Random Walker survival strategy that would be?

Seriously. Your closest Shopping Mall or Supermarket or School or whatever is also the closest Shopping Mall or Supermarkt or School to thousands of other people who are also very eager to survive these 'Random Walkers'. Do you know what would happen in such an event?

Everyone would be walking into one massive oven full of the tasty human-meat that the Zombies so desperately want, all you and thousands of other people would be doing is keeping yourselves warm until the Human-Can Openers arrive.

[/Rant on Zombie Survival]

... There really should be some sort of Sub-Forum dedicated to Zombie Survival.
 

feather240

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Jul 16, 2009
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Wouldn't a mall have more Zombies though? I'd say an office complex because its large, but only has people half the time.
 

Amnestic

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Aug 22, 2008
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0p3rati0n said:
Fuck science! I say go to your nearest skyscraper and camp out there and snipe the decaying bastards. Assuming zombies won't figure out how to operate an elevator then your good. As long as you plant claymores in the stair well. ;)
That's a terrible plan. Eventually you'll run out of ammo or food or water or some other necessity and then you're at the top of a skyscraper with nothing but zombies between you and everything else.

Way to hole yourself in, genius.

Stick to the water. Land to send out supply parties, anchor far off shore. You could live indefinitely. Hell, you could even go crazy and settle a deserted island to create some permanent shelter.
 

RootbeerJello

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Jul 19, 2009
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Pulse Reality said:
Seriously. Your closest Shopping Mall or Supermarket or School or whatever is also the closest Shopping Mall or Supermarket or School to thousands of other people who are also very eager to survive these 'Random Walkers'. Do you know what would happen in such an event?.
Thanks for quoting cracked so I don't have to :D. The above extremely valid point aside, there's also the fact that zombie's typically have basic sensory organs and therefore are not random walkers. If you just expect them to get lost in the mall your ass is dead. You need some form of weapon (Really just something you can swing with some weight on the end.) And it's probably a good idea to stay far away from malls, since they're constantly filled with mass amounts of easily infected people.
 

Korey Von Doom

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May 18, 2008
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The fact of the matter it it all depends on the zombies, if its fast moving zombies that roam in huge pack like L4D your screwed pretty much no matter what you do.
 

Clyde

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Aug 12, 2009
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I hate zombie pseudoscience, dead bodies are dead because they stopped functioning. There are plenty of plausible sci-fi apocalypse scenarios, like robot holocaust.
 

A Raging Emo

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Apr 14, 2009
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Gangster Amoeba said:
Pulse Reality said:
Seriously. Your closest Shopping Mall or Supermarket or School or whatever is also the closest Shopping Mall or Supermarket or School to thousands of other people who are also very eager to survive these 'Random Walkers'. Do you know what would happen in such an event?.
Thanks for quoting cracked so I don't have to :D. The above extremely valid point aside, there's also the fact that zombie's typically have basic sensory organs and therefore are not random walkers. If you just expect them to get lost in the mall your ass is dead. You need some form of weapon (Really just something you can swing with some weight on the end.) And it's probably a good idea to stay far away from malls, since they're constantly filled with mass amounts of easily infected people.
I'm glad somebody noticed =-D

What about a school, though? Or a Police Station? Would Zombies be less dangerous if they were children or behind bars?

And (Again, to quote Cracked) the common thought of a Zombie is that it infects you with a bite. You wouldn;t want to use a melee weapon because you would risk being bitten. That said, you wouldn't want to aim for the Zombie's head. While it may be cool in films or games, you wouldn't want to sacrifice your precious ammunition for a cool headshot, would you? Make like the SAS and aim for the body!
 

Grayjack

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Jan 22, 2009
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philzibit said:
Grayjack72 said:
I don't trust this man. I would rather go to Antarctica, where Zombies would freeze before they even get to land.
And so would you
No I wouldn't. I love the cold, and I could break into a research station to take cover.
 

RootbeerJello

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Jul 19, 2009
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Pulse Reality said:
Gangster Amoeba said:
Pulse Reality said:
Seriously. Your closest Shopping Mall or Supermarket or School or whatever is also the closest Shopping Mall or Supermarket or School to thousands of other people who are also very eager to survive these 'Random Walkers'. Do you know what would happen in such an event?.
Thanks for quoting cracked so I don't have to :D. The above extremely valid point aside, there's also the fact that zombie's typically have basic sensory organs and therefore are not random walkers. If you just expect them to get lost in the mall your ass is dead. You need some form of weapon (Really just something you can swing with some weight on the end.) And it's probably a good idea to stay far away from malls, since they're constantly filled with mass amounts of easily infected people.
I'm glad somebody noticed =-D

What about a school, though? Or a Police Station? Would Zombies be less dangerous if they were children or behind bars?

And (Again, to quote Cracked) the common thought of a Zombie is that it infects you with a bite. You wouldn;t want to use a melee weapon because you would risk being bitten. That said, you wouldn't want to aim for the Zombie's head. While it may be cool in films or games, you wouldn't want to sacrifice your precious ammunition for a cool headshot, would you? Make like the SAS and aim for the body!
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. On second thought, if you want to save ammo, just throw shit at them XD
 

roekenny

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Jun 17, 2008
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CaptainCrunch said:
Fanusc101 said:
Well, apparently Mister Cassi hasn't read the Zombie Survival Guide
Apparently Mr. Cassi is too busy conducting actual science (albeit ridiculous) to read a satirical work of fiction, by a former SNL writer.
as much science went into that book as the study as a no brainier. More rooms means less chance a random walker can enter a room and just hit a wall.

But I have a Zombie plan already in place involves going to park I live by and enter old ww2 command bunker I slowly refurbishing in secret. Wait a few months so 60% of populace killed and see what rest of humanity has done and come go to them after they done the hard work setting up a fortified position then casually moving to it as pilfering farms on way till reach 20 miles of the position. There park car and hide it quite well stock it up with all I can spare then head rest of way on a push bike so I got a back up if zombies break it's defences while rest line up in panic for evac. All I do is hop the wall other side breach is as soon clear and run like hell to car and floor it heading to fall-back position rest going to or live on open road depending what conditions were like at last place.