Sell me on/ Give me a reason to buy/ Dedicate my life to Barbie Horse Adventures: Mystery Ride

[A Weakgeek]

It's been nine years so I hope the hype has died down a bit. Fanboys no need to answer.

So I've been a pro-gamer since I was able to form sentinent thought, ive won like 39 trillion dollars from winning game tournaments. I beat Dark Souls naked and using only fists ( did that for my character aswell ).

But my punkass friend called me a casual and told me to play a real game. So he pointed me to this game. I'm thinking hes just being a fanboy, so whats the escapists opininon of it? I guess I could watch reviews and stuff but I can't be bothered to, since I know all of you are so eager to answer this obsenely frequent question.

TLDR:

-What is the competetive scene like in it? Do they hold tournaments in Europe aswell?
-Are there clans? How are they implemented.
-Are there any sites that track your stats/etc?

 

[yuval152]

I heard that it's a badass game, no health regen, super mega ultra realstic. I bet that there's many clans.

 

[Micromyni]

There's HORSES! O. M. G. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

 

[Sixcess]

Although it may appear to be pandering to the negative gender stereotyping with its superficial focus on girls + horses, the game actually subtly subverts that in ways that are far too clever for the uneducated masses to comprehend.

Yes, you are WRONG about Barbie Horse Adventures: Mystery Ride.

 

[distortedreality]

Boasting in epic bread.

MOAR PONIEZ!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Padwolf]

To be honest, I think you would be better off with the Pippa Funnel horse riding games, they are a lot more involving and have a greater competitive scene, tournaments every week! Alternatively there is a horse game on Steam with involves Unicorns. You can own a unicorn! It think there are 3 types of magical horse breeds on it. It's a lot more hardcore than your silly Barbie game

 

[Smooth Operator]

Come on man it's Barbie, it is the prime mover of all civilization, if you aren't going to partake in the essentials of human society you might as well go back to the caves and bang rocks together.

 

[Nantucket_v1legacy]

The games a classic to be sure.
I believe there are some tournaments still about but since the hype has died down you'll only see a few in London, New York and Tokyo.

All I recommend is before you play please ensure your horse has been watered, fed and brushed accordingly as it all goes towards final scores. You wouldn't want Ken or one of Barbie's cheap knock off friends beating your horse now would you?

 

[OldDirtyCrusty]

Best graphics ever and there are horses, besides Barbie is quite the ultimate doll, what else do you need to know?

 

[GenericAmerican]

Lol . . . my little sister played that game.

You're not a real gamer if you haven't tried it.

 

[Mirroga]

Truly the only time horses shine are the time when they are neither used for combat nor travel. Horses are the embodiment of chairs that move and eat! And this game has perfectly refined that experience. A must-play for all.

 

[TakeshiLive]

I heard there was a easter egg that lets you mount a unicorn... so yeah, FUCKIN' PONIES.

 

[KrossBillNye]

Lets just be frank here.

There is Barbie.

There is horses.

What is stopping you from playing this game?

 

[Something Amyss]

Penny Arcade totally endorsed it back in the day.

 

[Yopaz]

Chances are that this is the best game ever released and probably the best that ever will be released unless they plan to make a HD release of it. Nothing should stop you from getting and playing this game. I would commit treason to play this game. It's better than all the drugs combined.

 

[prophecy2514]

you havent lived until youve played this ...masterpiece

 

[Legion]

-What is the competetive scene like in it? Do they hold tournaments in Europe aswell?
-Are there clans? How are they implemented.
-Are there any sites that track your stats/etc?

- The competitive scene is pretty strong. Tournaments are held on a regular basis at meeting halls lovingly nicknamed as "Stables". The European scene is particularly large due to it being such an area of horse enthusiasts. They pretty much invented the scene.

- Clans are pretty straight forward, you sign up in a team as a "stable boy/girl" and this allows you to be a part of the team on a trial basis. If you play successfully in three clan matches you are promoted to "groom" and if you are even more successful you may even become a "Yard Master".

- I could not link you to a single one, but my sources indicate that the level of stat tracking is on par of the most high end sports such as football and baseball, if not more so.

The only reason you are unlikely to find any of these websites, or proof of anything that I have just said is that they are very clique and protective of their passion, and outsiders are not welcomed in easily, you have prove yourself first.

Best of luck.

 

[Idlemessiah]

My sister had this game. When she let me have a go, all I did was force Barbie to ride under the low-hanging tree so she got knocked off, several times. It was hilarious.

 

[prophecy2514]

-What is the competetive scene like in it? Do they hold tournaments in Europe aswell?
-Are there clans? How are they implemented.
-Are there any sites that track your stats/etc?

- The competitive scene is pretty strong. Tournaments are held on a regular basis at meeting halls lovingly nicknamed as "Stables". The European scene is particularly large due to it being such an area of horse enthusiasts. They pretty much invented the scene.

- Clans are pretty straight forward, you sign up in a team as a "stable boy/girl" and this allows you to be a part of the team on a trial basis. If you play successfully in three clan matches you are promoted to "groom" and if you are even more successful you may even become a "Yard Master".

- I could not link you to a single one, but my sources indicate that the level of stat tracking is on par of the most high end sports such as football and baseball, if not more so.

The only reason you are unlikely to find any of these websites, or proof of anything that I have just said is that they are very clique and protective of their passion, and outsiders are not welcomed in easily, you have prove yourself first.

Best of luck.

The first rule of Barbie Horse Adventures Mystery Ride Club: You don't talk about Barbie Horse Adventures Mystery Ride Club

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

A woman is the protagonist without getting objectified every 10 seconds.
There are many horses
AND IT HAS ADVENTURES!

What the hell else do you need? Are you too much of a pansy that you're gonna wait for Borderlands 2? Play a real mans game, BARBIE HORSE ADVENTURES MOTHERFUCKA!

MENERGY!!!!!!!