Serial Killer Round 77: Experiment 3-0159: Now with extra Science! Round over! Killer wins!

Dr. Crawver

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Nov 20, 2009
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tf2godz said:
Dr. Crawver said:
Wow, that was quick. Anyone mind if I keep the body? A walrus doctor has needs.
HOW DARE YOU! I'm the doctor of science here! It's my body!
Well, I guess the only way we can solve this is we split it. Which half do you want?
 

Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)

Get the point
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Dr. Crawver said:
tf2godz said:
Dr. Crawver said:
Wow, that was quick. Anyone mind if I keep the body? A walrus doctor has needs.
HOW DARE YOU! I'm the doctor of science here! It's my body!
Well, I guess the only way we can solve this is we split it. Which half do you want?
I call the top half, you can have his butt half.
 

Dr. Crawver

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Nov 20, 2009
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tf2godz said:
Dr. Crawver said:
tf2godz said:
Dr. Crawver said:
Wow, that was quick. Anyone mind if I keep the body? A walrus doctor has needs.
HOW DARE YOU! I'm the doctor of science here! It's my body!
Well, I guess the only way we can solve this is we split it. Which half do you want?
I call the top half, you can have his butt half.
Sounds good, that's all I need anyway.
 

BeerTent

Resident Furry Pimp
May 8, 2011
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I think we all need to sit down and realize who the real bad guy is.

Goddamnit Aerosteam! We were set up for a nice ol'circle-jerk, we got hookers, and actually some women around for a change, and boom. You just had to go and get yourself stabbed! Way to fuck it up! Why couldn't you get your mechanical ass resistant to knife-stabbings?! Uurngh! If this is ANYTHING at all like my last visit to Taco-bell, we're all going to start trying to kill each other, and then Gritch is gonna step in and be all, "Relax guys! The meat is more than enough to kill you!" Like we didn't already fucking know that!

I need my Bottom-*****... OI! CARAMEL!
 

Fat Hippo

Prepare to be Gnomed
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BeerTent said:
I think we all need to sit down and realize who the real bad guy is.

Goddamnit Aerosteam! We were set up for a nice ol'circle-jerk, we got hookers, and actually some women around for a change, and boom. You just had to go and get yourself stabbed! Way to fuck it up! Why couldn't you get your mechanical ass resistant to knife-stabbings?! Uurngh! If this is ANYTHING at all like my last visit to Taco-bell, we're all going to start trying to kill each other, and then Gritch is gonna step in and be all, "Relax guys! The meat is more than enough to kill you!" Like we didn't already fucking know that!

I need my Bottom-*****... OI! CARAMEL!
You're saying this isn't taco bell? Damnit, I knew something about this place was off. Maybe the triceratops and walrus will let me have a haunch of Aerosteam as a snack...
 

EvilRoy

The face I make when I see unguarded pie.
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Jan 9, 2011
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Man I can't even scratch my ass for two solid days without somebody getting dead. Have you guys considered living? Nobody ever chooses that for some reason.
 

Demagogue

Sperm Alien
Mar 26, 2009
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Well there is Bond down... no big loss there. We still have me, Alec Trevelyan the bet super spy in the spy game.
 

EvilRoy

The face I make when I see unguarded pie.
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Caramel Frappe said:
@BeerTent: Hey, don't involve me man ... last time I went to Taco Bell, I was sitting on the toilet for 2 days.
No i'm not even joking- that 5 layer burrito had something my body didn't agree with. I was not a happy man during that time.
That something was everything dude. That place is the cure for constipation mixed with salt and grease - I'm pretty sure they even gave up pretending that the "meat product" was actually meat based.
 

Wary Wolf

New member
Sep 10, 2015
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Huh. Still no spy list.

Oh yeah right. That means you lot are keeping it from those who are on the list.

Thank fuck I don't have to herd you cats again this round.

Gritch-i-kun! These mean men are going to get me...

Stop them..


Bah, probably should vote for myself for consistency. And because every moment of my existence is torment.
 

gritch

Tastes like Science!
Feb 21, 2011
567
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[HEADING=2]Someone's been executed![/HEADING][hr]I have to say the amount of depravity displayed so far has greatly exceed our expectations here at [redacted] Laboratories. Prostitution, waifus, boners, pimping, weaponized yo-yos, pimping, desecration of a corpse, cannablism, Taco Bell - but you finally did it.

You did SCIENCE[sup][small]TM[/small][/sup]! I'm so proud of you all. Death post incoming.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
8,665
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gritch said:
[HEADING=2]Someone's been executed![/HEADING]
Hey! HEY! HE-E-E-E-E-EY!

I find that language is misleading at best, an outright lie at worst. Are you from the corrupt "media"? Or a politician? I'd expect this sort of thing from them.

We haven't "executed" anybody. That sounds like we did something wrong. Moreover, it sounds like we have murdered somebody. Lies, damn lies and, worst of all, no actual statistics.

What we actually did is an autopsy.

OK, sure, maybe the subject was still alive at the start but we call that a pre-emptive autopsy. That's how we can find out what kills a person before they are killed by it. It's doing them a service, really.

In this particular instance, it turns out the person was allergic to autopsies. While unfortunate, we couldn't really have known that before we've done an autopsy, now, could we? The odds of that particular affliction are really low - there are a handful of cases recorded. It's so rare, that you'd have better odds of figuring out where a lightning would strike 6 years in advance.
 

Dr. Crawver

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Nov 20, 2009
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"Come on, this isn't complicated, think!"

I wail out in frustration as I throw my scalpel to the floor. I look down at the now mutilated pair of legs before me as I clumsily wipe blood from my flippers onto my lab coat.

I've been through all this before. Trapped in some sick experiment, most likely with only one of us able to walk free. Well, it's going to be me doing that. But, maybe. Just maybe, there is a loophole. Maybe I will be able to bring others back from the dead.

I look down at the cadaver again. But not this one. In my efforts to keep contact with the others to a minimum, I rushed out a deal that was bound to spoil my test. Still, another will die, most likely soon. I'll be able to have another shot at it.

I wipe my brow with a bloody flipper as I decide to leave my room, a drop of blood trickling down the crown of my nose. No sooner do I step out of my room though, I am tackled hard to the floor. I let out a panicked wail as I thrash around, but still find myself flat on my face.

I can't tell how many there are, but I can hear and feel them. What caused this? Fear? Suspicion? Racism? drug induced violence? I don't know these people. Why are they going after me? Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. Before long I feel multiple sharp pains throughout my body as my blubber is pierced and punctured.

Finally I am left to bleed out. I let out one final, weak moan before the darkness envelops me, the light vanishing from my beady little eyes. My days of science having come to an end.

I was the priest.
 

gritch

Tastes like Science!
Feb 21, 2011
567
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[HEADING=2]Test Subject 016 (Dr. Crawver) is dead! Begin Cycle 2: Murder Phase[/HEADING]
He was the Priest and has now become a Trickster!
Killer, Medic, and Lawyer may now act.[hr]
The intercom abruptly turns on and a familiar voice echoes through the lab.

-yway.

I know but we don't need explain why they're here. They're killing each other already. Wasn't that the point?

A consistent narrative? Look I don't have time for that if -

You don't have to shout. But if I gave them an explanation now they'd know we didn't really have a good plan from the beginning. It'll be like we're covering our as -

No. I don't honestly think it's that important.

Why are you getting so angry about this? This is my experiment you're here to assist me!


A slamming sound pours from the intercom.

Don't you march out on me! I'm your senpai! Get back her-

The audio fades away as the speaker moves out of range of the microphone. The intercom remains on, filling the laboratory with an eerie buzzing noise.
 

gritch

Tastes like Science!
Feb 21, 2011
567
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Wary Wolf said:
Gritch-i-kun! These mean men are going to get me...

Stop them..
Just remember. It's $50 for [redacted], $100 for [redacted], and you're going to need a credit card for [redacted].[sub]That pic... You better stop weaponizing moe. Don't know if I can stay mean to chibi Holo...[/sub]
@DoPo: Whatever you need to help you sleep at night. Some people call it murder. Manslaughter. A complete disregard for the sanctity of human life. I call it SCIENCE[sup][small]TM[/small][/sup].

@Caramel Frappe: Damn. I was going to make use that meme at some point. But yeah. Going to be lots o' Tricksters this round.
 

Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)

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So I'm the only Doctor left, I guess I can keep all the bodies for myself now. don't worry it will be put to good use.

I already have have plans to make a walrus zombie with arms and legs
 

Dr. Crawver

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Nov 20, 2009
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tf2godz said:
So I'm the only Doctor left, I guess I can keep all the bodies for myself now. don't worry it will be put to good use.

I already have have plans to make a walrus zombie with arms and legs
I approve and welcome these augments.