I feel like it's never a good idea to make sweeping generalizations. "All" is a pretty strong term, and I'd be suspiscious of anyone wanting "all" of anything to be a certain way (sounds like it'd make for a pretty boring world.)
Kind of wary of discussions that use the word "should," come to think of it (because then we're getting into Platonic Ideals and dictating over-arching conditions without respect to context and nuance.)
I feel like most people would be in agreement that it depends on the specific game. If we're talking about an RPG where the point is to customize your hero and have the world react to your decisions then I'd say it kind of just fits that you'd be able to choose your gender. Even beyond equality's-sake, sometimes it's just fun to play as a character different from you anyway. But I feel like we're kind of to a point where that's the expectation for those games anyway - off the top of my head I can't think of any recent games like that which don't offer you a choice.
But if you're making a story about a specific character, then gender is going to be a part of that specific character's identity anyway. I certainly would never suggest that in The Witcher there's any need for the player to choose whether Geralt is a man or a woman - he's a specific character and one of his traits is that he has a penis.
Would a representative ratio of women to men characters in videogames be a good thing? I would say... probably? I don't think a developer going "well, our last game had a white male protagonist so our next game needs to be about a latino woman" is a goal to strive for, personally. I think that would feel like pandering, as would injecting arbitrary ratios of characters for no better reason.
From a quantity angle, I believe it really comes down to having a wider variety of developers from different backgrounds and points of view. I'm a white male, I like to think I have some depth of character. If I were a game developer I'd like to think I would try to be sensitive to social issues and portrayal of all manner of people in my games - but if we're making a game about the plight of a black woman, then I'm probably not the man for the job anyway. I'm going to make a story that's personal to me, with characters I feel I can write about without being pandering.
But I tend to focus on quality over quantity anyway. There's too much of a focus on the existential state of these buzz-words, whether or not they're present in any particular game, and then placing a value judgement on said game without regard to nuance or context or presentation. At least that's how I see it.
Really I think it boils down to - how a character treats another character in a game is not the same thing as how the writer treats that character within the game.
And of course let's not forget that there's a difference between talking about forests and trees. I can make an observation about the overall character of a forest, and generalized patterns and traits about the forest as a whole, but those observations don't innately apply to each tree individually.
If I'm looking out at a forest on the horizon, maybe I can see that it doesn't look totally healthy. I can then assume that if I go down and inspect each tree will find unhealthy ones, but it doesn't mean every tree in that forest is unhealthy. To make that call I would have to individually inspect every tree in the forest.