Skyrim - in memoriam

SonicWaffle

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TL;DR - for those who don't want to read my flowery prose, I believe I have had the worst luck with Skyrim companions. If anyone cares to put themselves forward against my record, how many followers have you gotten killed and in what stupid, stupid ways?

I am the Dragonborn. I have burned my way across the land, striking down any who stood before me. I have explored the depths of the world, I have looted priceless treasures, I have defeated mighty foes. I have risen to mastery of magic, combat and stealth. I have destroyed the taint of the Dark Brotherhood, brought the College to new heights, and taken command of the Companions. I have defeated the Stormcloaks and driven out the dragons!

I am also a terrible, terrible friend, lover and employer. Absolutely fucking awful at it. By the end of the game, as I basked in triumph and surveyed the world I had saved, I was feeling like John Constantine; every friend, every honest and true companion of my adventures, was dead and rotting. And it was pretty much all my fault.

This thread is, in a way, my shame-faced apology. In years to come, warriors will sit with a mug of mead and sing songs of the Dragonborn and her mighty deeds. The name Pissflaps McGee (yes, really) will be known far and wide. Who will remember those brave souls who gave their lives in her service? I will. I will remember and you, who read this, will hopefully remember too. If anyone can actually beat my tally of tragedy and stupidity, please, I'd love to hear it. Make me feel better about my own shitty track record!

Hero the first: Lydia, brave sword-wench of Whiterun

Oh, Lydia. We met early, and we fought well. Pressed into my service by the Jarl of Whiterun, we cut a bloody swathe through the land together. Of them all she was with me the longest, having adventures which should be famed in song forever. We were true companions, at least until one fateful day when we were called upon to empty a fort of vile bandits. A simple task, or so it seemed. In the courtyard of the fort we were surrounded, but we cared little. Into battle we dashed, blades swinging, back to back against the world. Naturally our victory was swift. Unfortunately, in my haste to finish them all off, I took to killing any and all wounded attempting to crawl away or beg mercy. Too late did I realise that the cringing bandit who I'd just shield-bashed into oblivion was my own dear friend, Lydia. A sad and meagre end to what ought to have been an epic saga.

Hero the second: Erandur, a priest of Mara

Erandur came to me after I helped him lay to rest the demons of his past. He was a strong fighter, but ever reckless, charging ahead to throw fireballs at literally everything that moved or even looked like it might move. Sadly, this was his undoing, as he ran screaming at two Dragr Deathlords just as I unleashed my fire breath. What the Draugr began, my flames finished, and so perished brave and possibly suicidal Erandur.

Hero the third: Stenvar, a mercenary

Unlike my first two companions, Stenvar was not with me out of duty or respect for my skills. His motivation was simple; gold, and plenty of it. Being somewhat mercenary myself, I could respect that, and so we journeyed out to find our fortune. On this list, Stenvar is something of an anomaly, as he is the only one who might still be alive, for all I know. We were trekking through an ancient Dwemer ruin when we encountered the vile Falmer. We leapt at the call, and battle was joined. I rushed ahead into the thick of the danger, as is my way, while Stenvar hung back on the high walkways we had descended by. That was the last I saw of him. I heard a cry - "Mercy!" - which sounded to be him, but when I returned to aid him there was no trace. Did he run? Did the Falmer take him? Did he simply fall down into darkness? I fear I shall never know.

Hero the fourth: Vigilance, a guard dog late of Markarth stables

Vigilance was, to put it mildy, braver than he was smart. His death came in Dawnstar, where as I was wandering through a dragon swooped down on the town. I nipped up a convenient tower to rain arrows on the creature from relative safety, while Vigilance made the not-entirely-logical decision to go head to head with the beast in a battle of tooth-and-claw. A very, very short battle, it must be said.

Hero the fifth: Jordis the sword-maiden, a warrior woman from the city of Solitude

Upon purchase of a second house (the first had so many painful memories of Lydia, and was coincidentally already bursting at the seams with loot), Jordis was gifted to me by the Jarl of Solitude. She was a tough woman, and was with me longer than anyone but Lydia. What shames me the most is that I don't even remember how she died; by this time, I already had a terrible case of survivors guilt and Jordis was just another drop in the bucket. Bandits? Rampaging giants? Vampires? I can't even recall her face. We journeyed together, and fought well, but she was just another walking corpse to me. It was simply too painful to care anymore.

Hero the fifth: Jenessa, an Elven mercenary

This, truly, is my most shameful tale. As eluded to in the above entry, by this time I had come to view my friends and companions as expendable. Pack mules, combat aids, but ultimately just someone who travelled with me. I think it was the shattering of my bond with Lydia, and the emotional fallout from such, that made me cynical and loveless. I hid behind a wall and shared little with my companions, so as to be less affected by their inevitable death. That is the only excuse I can muster for what I did to Jenessa.

I had discovered a shrine to the daedra Boethe. She called upon me for a sacrafice, in exchange for great power and the honour of being her champion. And I...I gave her Jenessa. I pushed Jenessa into a trap, and then I stabbed her in the back myself, feeling nothing. My lowest ebb. I hope she looks down from Sovngarde and can forgive me for my callous ending of her life.

Hero the sixth: Uthgerd the Unbroken, bloodthirsty warrior maid

We met in an inn. She cajoled me into a fistfight, and when I defeated her she offered her services. I shrugged, and allowed it. She died quickly, and not well; in a cave of giants, as we battled she wandered between me and my enemy, and was hit with a blast of ice. The giants made short work of her. In a sad parallel of our first meeting, I simply shrugged and moved on

Hero the seventh and final: Aela the Huntress, member of the Companions and wife to the Dragonborn

Aela. Oh, sweet Aela. I was wandering the world still, empty of emotion, when I met her. We met in Jorrvaskar, and hit it off right away; we both enjoyed archery, and she offered me lessons. I gladly took her up on them. I happened to be wearing an Amulet of Mara, and she flirted with me. I flirted back. All of a sudden I was caring again! A friend and companion who made me feel the way I had with Lydia! We married quickly, before an assortment (read: three) of totally random acquaintances, and set off about our adventures.

Not half an hour later, as I crouched and drew my bow, she wandered between me and the unsuspecting Falmer just as I loosed. The arrow took her in the back, killing her instantly. Was this fair? WAS THIS FAIR?! It was then I decided, no more. Never again. I may be a hero, the Dragonborn, saviour of Skyrim, but I was also a colossal murderous prick who destroyed everything she cared about.

They say the Dragonborn is favoured of the gods themselves. This Dragonborn says that, if that is true, the gods are massive cunts who could really do with a slap!
 

Slvrwolfen

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Sep 10, 2008
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Long story short, all of my allies have fallen in combat to the unfortunate incident of an arrow already in flight catching them in the back, by surprise, delivering a lethal blow.

Right now I can only hope J'zango can stay out of the way of my arrows. Otherwise I'll be left utilizing my Summon Familiar spell every second instead.
 

Lt. Vinciti

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It would appear you are bad luck with these people...

Perhaps AutoSave or you going manly hardcore where you cry and say NOOOOOO and move on?
 

OniaPL

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First character:

Uthgerd the Unbroken

Died in a cave full of bears. She was crippled (gave bugged out and left her in the crawling mode) so I slit her throat.

Lydia

Eaten by a dragon.

Azura's priestess

I sacrificed her to Boethiath.

Random warrior I can't remember

Got an arrow in the head 'cause wouldn't move out of my way in combat.
 

wooty

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Aug 1, 2009
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Pretty poetic/epic yarnish, dont think ive ever heard such literary greatness for some video game characters.

I would make one of my own, but the only casualty in my play of skyrim was my enjoyment of the game. Dont think it would sell much.
 

samgdawg

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I think this is why the legendary heroes in games/movies/books don't usually have wives. They know that everyone is either going to be dead or pack mules. That and it tugs at out hearts. This would be good on Fanfiction.net if it was given a small storyline between each like "After The death of Lydia I continued to the town of at which point I found Erandur. He seemed to be suffering". There. Like that.
 

SonicWaffle

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Lt. Vinciti said:
Perhaps AutoSave or you going manly hardcore where you cry and say NOOOOOO and move on?
Pretty much the second one. Except I also go sit in the shower and cut myself for a while as punishment for yet another failure.
 

teebeeohh

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all still alive, i save frequently and i never let anyone die.
except when they annoy me, then i take them to a cliff and shout them into the wind. and load
 

SonicWaffle

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samgdawg said:
I think this is why the legendary heroes in games/movies/books don't usually have wives. They know that everyone is either going to be dead or pack mules. That and it tugs at out hearts. This would be good on Fanfiction.net if it was given a small storyline between each like "After The death of Lydia I continued to the town of at which point I found Erandur. He seemed to be suffering". There. Like that.
I was actually considering doing in that style, but I figured nobody would bother to sit through the entire thing. Plus I've done so damn much in that game that I don't even remember most of my experiences :p
 

electric_warrior

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Jordis, Sword Maiden

We were fighting an elder dragon and you strayed into the path of my lightning storm, killing you instantly. There was no need for a cremation because you were reduced to a pile of ash (as was the dragon). I hadn't been with you long, nor did I like you very much, so I simply went and fetched Erandur, pilfered the dragon plate armour I gave you, put it on him and left your ashen remains in the courtyard of the College of Winterhold. May your memory live on....
 

Retal19

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Dec 5, 2010
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Stuck with a Cursed Ring of Hircine, I'm too scared to take up any companions, even Aela. I mauled the first when I transformed mid-battle, a Mercenary recruited in Whiterun, who I had actually grown rather attached to. Nevertheless, they lie headless in a tomb, surrounded by Mountain Flowers and laid with their sword with grace and dignity. The least I could do was give them a proper burial. Of sorts. Aela may yet travel with me, if I find the damn cave. (Hardcore Mode. No Map Markers. I have no clue where the damned cave is now. It's beside a lake or something but there's only fifty of the damned things.)
 

SonicWaffle

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Retal19 said:
(Hardcore Mode. No Map Markers. I have no clue where the damned cave is now. It's beside a lake or something but there's only fifty of the damned things.)
...holy crap, that sounds extreme. I don't think I'd have played the game for more than an hour without map markers!

On the other hand, can't you just use the Clairvoyance spell?
 

Retal19

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SonicWaffle said:
Retal19 said:
(Hardcore Mode. No Map Markers. I have no clue where the damned cave is now. It's beside a lake or something but there's only fifty of the damned things.)
...holy crap, that sounds extreme. I don't think I'd have played the game for more than an hour without map markers!

On the other hand, can't you just use the Clairvoyance spell?
I would, if it didn't drain my Rogue/Warrior's Mana Pool like a leaky firehose. I get to see that it's somewhere in that direction, then, poof, no more guidance for me for a half hour or so.
 

SonicWaffle

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Retal19 said:
SonicWaffle said:
Retal19 said:
(Hardcore Mode. No Map Markers. I have no clue where the damned cave is now. It's beside a lake or something but there's only fifty of the damned things.)
...holy crap, that sounds extreme. I don't think I'd have played the game for more than an hour without map markers!

On the other hand, can't you just use the Clairvoyance spell?
I would, if it didn't drain my Rogue/Warrior's Mana Pool like a leaky firehose. I get to see that it's somewhere in that direction, then, poof, no more guidance for me for a half hour or so.
Speaking for myself, I was picking up roughly six thousand (number may be slightly exaggerated) potions per hour; anytime I ran out of stamina or HP I would have enough to refill my bar a hundred times over. Not that I ever did, being a tank with top-tier armour and HP/stamina enchantments, but still. Magicka was much the same, except I never used it...
 

Jandau

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Dec 19, 2008
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I tried to adventure with a companion. I tried going out into ancient ruins with Lydia, battling the vile beasts that dwell within, to face the darkness of the world. But every time, my companion would come within inches of death. So many times I had to halt a blow that would end an enemy's life in fear of hitting my ally. And every time I felt sadness, knowing that one of these days my friend's luck will run out and some foul monster will be her undoing. So I sent Lydia back home, back to Whiterun, to guard my home. Perhaps I have wronged her thus, but I couldn't bear her death on my conscience. I may be the Archmage of Winterhold, but even I can't reverse death and even I can't protect my friends in the dark places of the world.

But I'm not alone. Never alone. For I have found the perfect companion. He is a Daedra Lord, a monster in both body and soul. He is cruel, merciless and essentially immortal. I can summon him at will and when he dies, he simply goes back to his hellish home. Any pain that he might suffer hardly bothers me since a creature of his wickedness deserves far worse, and for his part he relishes the opportunity to bring death to creatures of our world. And so I venture forth with my wicked companion to protect the goodly heroes of the land. The irony isn't lost on me...