So how's this for a start? (yes, actions taken and slight progress made)

[SeriousSquirrel]

You know the drill, but for the sake of ease: there is a cute girl I have a few classes with. Think I saw her eyeing me. Am I certain she likes me? No. Am I gonna sit around and think about what id do instead of doing it? Absolutely not.

Anywho, the main course: I've seen this girl looking at me. During first period (one of the classes we share) I'm always really slow to leave (morning class and I'm often trying to find a good place to stop in my book) and she's ALWAYS there too, very deliberately packing her stuff. So on friday, I manned the heck up and spoke to her.

It wasn't much. Just a question about the length of an assignment (from another class we have). She responded...nervously. Maybe its because I can be rather imposing (beard, deep voice, largely quiet), maybe because she hadn't done it (just a rough draft), or maybe, just maybe, its because she likes me.

I plan on talking to her again (especially if she stays after class), just one question: What do I say? We're not really acquainted, so I don't know any specific interests. I know she's intelligent, as we're both in advanced classes (not in and of itself a guarantee of intelligence, but I know she is). What do I say? Everything I think of sounds dumb...

 

[Batou667]

Try to find something you have in common as a starting point. Even if it's just about your studies. "Hey there, I was thinking of heading to the library to work on those maths questions, would you like to come along?" (or something).

When striking up conversation, to make it flow try to avoid open/closed questions that can be answered in one word. Ask her opinion on stuff, and listen to it without interrupting. Also, try to ask questions that she'll answer yes to. I know some guys have a rule of three, and you strike on the third one. So, it might go something like this:

"Wow, was it just me or was that calculus test the most difficult one yet"
"Yeah, I found it pretty tricky too"
"I'm glad it's over. Hey, have you seen that new bar that opened?"
"Yeah"
"What do you say we reward ourselves with a beer?"

- and at this point she's been saying "yes" consistently and will hopefully say yes to the crucial question as well. Had you just walked up to her and blurted out "you're really nice and I like you let's go for a drink PLEEAASSE" straight off the bat, you'd have less success.

If she says no, consider it a setback, not the end of everything. If you think she might be intimidated, by all means throw mutual friends into the mix. More people = less scary.

(her) "Err... sorry, I don't really drink, and bars aren't my scene"
(you) "Oh, ok. Well, me and a few of the guys and girls will probably be there tonight, give me a call if you change your mind. Also, we were planning on hanging out at xxxxxxxx next weekend, is that more like what you're into?" (See what you did there? You reduced the pressure, initiated future communication, and again, asked her opinion on something and inserted a probable "yes" response).

Anyway man, as I'm sure somebody will point out, all girls are different and there isn't a simple flow-chart or formula to follow. But all girls are people, and most people like being made to smile or laugh, being made to feel good about themselves, be social, and so on.

Another thing I heard, the three factors of making yourself more attractive to somebody:
1) Your basic physical attractiveness. Hard to change, but good personal hygiene is a must, and don't underestimate the power of smelling good.
2) How well/long the person has known you.
3) If the person is aware that you're interested in them.

Anyway dude, good luck. Go for it!

 

[Galletea]

Just keep it casual. She could just be shy. I wouldn't go straight for the 'lets go for a drink' thing but after a few of these after class exchanges you'll have a better idea of what she thinks of you. Keep it cool, centre it around the class to begin with then ask her what she's got planned and stuff, you know, small talk.

Just don't push too hard now you've got the confidence to speak to her. Take it casual, if she suddenly starts rushing to leave after a few weeks then you'll know it's a lost cause.