So... I just found out my brother is gay.

Crazy_Dude

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A childhood friend of mine turned out to be gay he told his parents when he was around 13-14 and they were fine with it. Then my mother told me that they had suspicions about him being gay already at the age of 4.

I have another friend who I have known for almost whole my life. Our dads are old college buddies and they remained friends after. A few months ago my mother told me that his parents said he might be possibly gay. I was just very neutral about the subject I didnt care if he was gay or not I would still consider him to be almost a brother.

But last week when I was at his place he introduces me to this girl. She was both Anime and Metal fan so she was pretty awesome. Later when I asked him if they were dating he said yes. After that I was a tad confused he still might come out a few years later or never at all. I am neutral about it an longtime friendship wont end just because of Sexuality.
 

Internet Kraken

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Mackheath said:
Internet Kraken said:
First my brother told me he was gay. Then he told me he was a bisexual. Then he told me he was a transsexual. I honestly don't know what to think about him anymore. He's still my brother, and I love him all the same, but I have no clue what how I'm supposed to treat this. I can't even really call him my brother when he changes his sex. But that's what I've been thinking of him as for 17 years. Hard to adjust to this.
What, you meant he went through with it or he just said that to be cool? Sorry if I didn't understand, had a long day and I'm a bit sluggish just now.
I don't see how someone could ever think saying something like that would be cool. He hasn't gone through with it yet, but he's definitely serious about it. Honestly, I don't know to much about it since I try to avoid talking about it when possible.

I guess I'm just worried that when this all done, my brother is going to seem like a completley different person. And that would be horrible...
 

Sabinfrost

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Support him, try not to judge him. If it is a passing insecurity or uncertainty, it will pass, but regardless of whether it is or isn't, he'll want support. People don't come out because they don't want to be judged or made to feel different, they want to be seen for who they are, not for their sexual orientation. Don't start seeing him as your gay brother, he is just your brother.
 

jaketaz

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Oct 11, 2010
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Well this might be news to you, but even in this day and age people can be really &^%$ judgmental about that stuff. A lot of parents try to be accepting about gayness, but then if it's their own son or daughter that comes out as gay, they'll react quite differently. I think the best thing to do is just remember that you've known your brother for a long time and he's no different than he ever was. If anything, the fact that he came out to you means you're now even closer than ever, and he obviously trusts you a lot to tell you that.

I'd like to add that in general, gamers are some of the most accepting people I've ever met.
 

chinangel

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GrimTuesday said:
Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?
I have been on the giving and receiving end of htis. My brother gay? Wow..I...wow. I guess I know how they felt when I said 'I'm trans'
 

Spacewolf

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Cap said:
Well my brother didn't really come out out to myself and oldest brother as such, more that just whenever my oldest brother made gay jokes about my other brother, he said "And? So what?" and it just became a fact over time "Yep, he's gay. He's also kind of a prat"
Not sure if thats qualification for being gay on its own thats just sort of taking the piss since no one really knows how to respond to that
 

FuzzyRaccoon

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arragonder said:
GrimTuesday said:
Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?
My brother spent 3 hours in my room once. He was like, I've got something to tell you. well spill it out, I can't...I'm bi. I just looked at him for a minute "so am I"
Haha, that's amazing! That sounds so anticlimactic, but in a different way from the other ones. It's kind of nice though, another way to bond?
xD.
 

FuzzyRaccoon

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Yokai said:
Vault101 said:
CM156 said:
When my cousin "Krista" told me they were becoming "Kris" (I understand that Transgendered =/= gay) , I was a bit shocked, and told them I needed a moment.

We have a decent relationship, and I call him the older brother I never had (Which he really likes)
so she had a sex change?

I wasnt even sure that was physically possible..as female to male (if thats what happened)

your right in being Transgendered and gay isnt the same thing, I found it made alot more sense if I imagined them as (in this case...I think) a man but he has a females body
Personally, I don't quite get transgenderism. I'm not even remotely homophobic and I have many gay friends, so I guess it makes me a horrible supporter of double standards, but I just feel sorry for them. I don't understand how someone could be so unhappy with their very genetic makeup that they feel the need to undergo traumatic surgery to change it. Couldn't they just, you know, act more feminine/masculine/whatever, rather than subject themselves to a flawed process that's more likely to alienate them from others? I certainly don't want to condemn anyone's choice, it just makes me sad when I see or hear about people who thought the change was necessary.

As for the OP: Yeah, I'd not have a bit of problem with it. I might be a little surprised if I had previously had them pegged as straight, but I certainly wouldn't react negatively in any way. Basically, good for them for coming out.
I have to say I completely agree with this. Accepting yourself is, in my opinion, the better option. As soon as I thought "I'll never be a guy, I've just got to get over it", life was like five million times easier.
:3.
 

Grabbin Keelz

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If my little bro was gay, I'd be cool with it. I'd probably tease him a lot about it though. Although I do find it scary that I can picture this actually happening.
 

CrashBang

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I have a lot of gay friends (I'm a drama student) and some of them kept their gayness a secret for a long time and others never tried to hide it. It depends on where and how they grow up, the kind of family and friends they have etc. My one mate told his sister and then told me, even before he told his parents. I was touched. He then reassured me that he'd never try to sleep with me... like I ever thought he would...
 

Malgan

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Jun 23, 2009
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I can't really tell you why he has kept it secret, it's very individual and people need to take it as they feel comfortable.

As a gay guy I havn't really gotten into that role, but I can tell you the different reactions I've gotten:

Most needed to get over the initial shock, as I'm not what you would call flaming, but after that it's either "Am I handsome?", "Then you could help me do my shopping!", "I know another, you should hook up", "It's ok, as long as you don't hit on me", "Yea right" or they just say they're cool, and awkwardly change the subject.

I have no idea how my brother will react, but I havn't told him or my family anything since I feel like I'm stuck with them, and I don't really talk much with my parents other than practical things.. On other people I have this attitude "If they don't like it, then they're not my type of people", but that doesn't really work on family.
 

Super Six One

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GrimTuesday said:
Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?
My brother recently did the same. My reaction was the same to yours, wasn't bothered by the fact that he was gay, more the fact that i was the last one out of my entire family he told. Like three-5 years after everyone else knew, was kinda annoyed he felt he couldn't tell me sooner, but hey its done now.

My problem is now when it comes up in convos with my friends what do i say? I'm not sure wether he's told everyone(as in his mates) so i don't want to out him, but at the same time i don't want him to think i'm hiding it from people. Its a confusing subject.
 

kinggamecat

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Aug 7, 2010
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I'm straight but I support all sexuality and race and am proud of your brother for coming out of the closet, and proud of you for accepting him ^^ All I can say is Support him and love him as much as ya can, you ARE his sibling after all ^^ Teehee I'm in a great mood today ^^
GrimTuesday said:
Today I was talking to one of my younger brothers and the topic of relationships came up, and after him mocking my non-existent love life, we started talking about his. He's always been fairly neutral when it comes to sex, so I've never really given much thought about it but when I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he instead told me that he was, in fact gay. Personally, it doesn't bother me so much that he is gay, more that he felt that he needed to keep it a secret, perhaps some of the homosexual users of the Escapist can give me some insight on that.

For discussion, have you ever had an experience like this, how did you react?
I'm straight but I support all sexuality and race and am proud of your brother for coming out of the closet, and proud of you for accepting him ^^ All I can say is Support him and love him as much as ya can, you ARE his sibling after all ^^ Teehee I'm in a great mood today ^^
 

katsumoto03

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Feb 24, 2010
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Revolutionary said:
My GF; I'm bi
Me; LOL
Gf; no seriously
me; oh....that's cool.
That was interesting conversation...or at least it was for me at the time anyway.
Congratulations, you now have a better chance of convincing your girlfriend into a threesome. :p

OT: I have a friend who's bisexual and one who's transsexual. It's kind of a surprise when you find out, but I don't freak out or anything. I'm awesome like that.