i don't know, i don't think there is something dramaqueeny about asking your boyfriend not to touch other girls bosoms. maybe i'm overreacting but mine should be the only one of his concern. i don't think he would like it if i grabed other guys crotches for the hell of it. maybe i am just to uptight^^
What you did was stupid, but it's not nearly break up material, seriously, you were dared, you didn't initiate the groping yourself, and you stopped while getting a clear invitation for some action, seriously, you didn't even break trust, because it was a result of you not thinking, not a result of you wanting to get a piece of the pie. Just be more mindful next time your in a situation where another girl is hunting your ass.
This is a teenage relationship problem thread, so if you hate them then just leave, okay? I don't want to hear [sub]technically see, but still[/sub] your complaints about it being "another teen relationship thread".
If any of you members of the Escapist take note of my posts (I doubt you do), you may have seen a few in which I mention a girlfriend of mine. Well, in the two months that I have been dating her (yes, two months is short, whatever) it has seriously been the best time I have had in my life.
After an especially good day on the day that we hit two months, of which I shall not share details as this is a family friendly forum [sub](apart from all the fucking swearing)[/sub], her and I went to a movie marathon at a mate's place. The marathon was to go all night and into the next morning and then day. However, my girlfriend had to leave at 10 pm because she had something to go to early the next day.
Anyway, almost as soon as my girlfriend left, another girl I know (who I suspect likes me) came up to me, getting close and such in subtle ways now that my girlfriend was gone. This continued on throughout the night, until I did something stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.
My friend was showing off to me how he could get away with groping most of the female members of my friendship group's breasts. He was doing it to the aforementioned girl when another male friend of mind decided to see if he could do the same to this girl. While she wasn't stopping one of my friends, she batted away my other friend's hand as soon as he tried it, before he could even try it.
So then my friend (the one who's hand was batted away) dares me to try and see if I can grope this girl's breasts. So I don't stop to think "Wait, I have a girlfriend." or anything like that. I don't think it through at all. I just go ahead and try it.
She didn't try and stop me. At all. She even pushed my other friend (the one who actually CAN get away with it) away, yet not with me. I had to stop myself.
Did I mention that my girlfriend absolutely loathes this girl that I think likes me? The one I was groping?
This was early in the morning, around 3 am. Later on in the day, after she was back home from her other commitments, I was to walk to my girlfriend's place and stay there until I could be picked up by my mum and taken home (I can't walk home, it's ages away). I decided along the way to tell her, face to face, what I did with this other girl, after I had thought it through a bit more and realised exactly what it meant. I figured that face to face was much better than her finding out through someone else online, on FaceBook or through MSN, say.
So I told her. Straight away. The result was her all sad looking for the rest of the day. The conversation continued on MSN. She's not breaking up with me, but she's not sure if she can trust me again. I understand this completely, by the way. She trusted me to not cheat on her, I broke her trust by cheating on her. Granted, it was a five or so second long joke, but it was still unacceptable.
Now, Escapists, I ask you. First, what you think of my actions. Second, what you think I could do to possibly ever have a hope of winning back the trust of my girlfriend? Or if you think I should just end it with her completely? I ask for opinions on these questions, and whatever else you want to add to the discussion.
I feel for your probem man. Here's my take on the issue. Wall o' text, mind
People tend to say that us, men, are a bunch of sleazy, dirty jerks when it comes to women and that we cannot resist our impulses. Whilst this certainly is true, it's also true that women follow much more subtle ways when they want to achieve what they want. It makes them hateful, it makes them spiteful, it makes them bimbos who will probably never amount to anything, and take this as a guess, as I of course don't know the gropee, but if she lets herself be groped like that, then surely it's an accurate guess. However, I speak with knowledge of cause here when saying that, regardless of how many girls there's out there that don't deserve a second look, and that we, as males and humans, have our own desires, there's always a couple of girls that are worth fighting for, and that are worth redeeming oneself for after you've made a mistake. No-one is perfect, and I'm sure neither is your girlfriend (though to your eyes she probably is), but I'm sure that you have the will to fight to make the rest of your life as good as these two last months. Try your best, try your hardest, and I'm sure she'll appreciate that. Hey, she already took it rather well (not to say well at all, but it could have been much worse), so I'm sure that if you demonstrate to her once again that trusting you is worth her while, she will gradually regain trust in you. It could be hard, it could take long, but give it your best
Hopefully that'll be of help. Go for the high one!
If it is any reassurance - this is small dice in the big scheme of things. Part of relationships is accepting eachother's humanity, and thus propensity for mistakes.
Edit:
Oh, and you are also now going to be victim to the psychological phenomena of trait generalization. Despite having been honest with her, the question of your fidelity will extend all the way back to every time you have every been away from her. Despite your good behavior up till this point [presumably], you could still be suspect.
It will also, as she mentioned extend into the future.
To be honest any guy who takes a bet on wether or not he can fondle another women without her getting mad while he is in a relationship is too stupid to be trusted. Not only was it stupid but it is disrespectfull to the girl you were fondleing.
I think this is what your current girlfriend is thinking.
I laughed, mate. Even though this could mean none of that, I still laughed.
dietpeachsnapple said:
If it is any reassurance - this is small dice in the big scheme of things. Part of relationships is accepting eachother's humanity, and thus propensity for mistakes.
Edit:
Oh, and you are also now going to be victim to the psychological phenomena of trait generalization. Despite having been honest with her, the question of your fidelity will extend all the way back to every time you have every been away from her. Despite your good behavior up till this point [presumably], you could still be suspect.
It will also, as she mentioned extend into the future.
Am I the only one who thinks grabbing another girl's tits on a dare wasn't a big deal? It was a fucking dare, c'mon. Any girl should know guys have cock contests all the time.
He's as much to blame as the girl who cozied up to him.
Especially if he had the impression that the other girl had an interest in him even though he was involved with someone else, it is in no way a good idea to grope her just because it was a dare.
What exactly qualifies as cheating these days? I'm several centuries behind on social interactions. I'll input my thoughts once someone clears that up.
She's not breaking up, you stopped yourself, and you told her straight out. So she can obviously still trust you to at least be honest. Right now she's hurting, but do whatever you can to make up and things should work out. If she was seriously feeling unable to ever trust you again, she'd dump you.
She's not breaking up, you stopped yourself, and you told her straight out. So she can obviously still trust you to at least be honest. Right now she's hurting, but do whatever you can to make up and things should work out. If she was seriously feeling unable to ever trust you again, she'd dump you.
I suppose you're right, there. I have been honest about it all, going into however much detail (about any of my feelings for this other girl, girls in general and this incident,) she wants.
You're a good man for telling her, just let her know how sorry you are and that it meant nothing, it was just a (drunken?) mistake and it will never happen again.
Also, little thing I picked up, if you say something like "I totally understand if you don't want to be with me anymore" they are a lot less likely to dump you.
She's not breaking up, you stopped yourself, and you told her straight out. So she can obviously still trust you to at least be honest. Right now she's hurting, but do whatever you can to make up and things should work out. If she was seriously feeling unable to ever trust you again, she'd dump you.
I suppose you're right, there. I have been honest about it all, going into however much detail (about any of my feelings for this other girl, girls in general and this incident,) she wants.
In that case, might I suggest doing something to show her you really care? Well, you might want to give her some time to cool off, THEN do something amazing for her. If you start crawling too early, it might give the impression this was a massive mistake on your part, when in reality it was more a dumb blunder.
It's really just up to the two of you, as has been said many times, she's still with you and that says something. Better than my ex, who broke up with me while doing and to do more porn.
If it is any reassurance - this is small dice in the big scheme of things. Part of relationships is accepting eachother's humanity, and thus propensity for mistakes.
Edit:
Oh, and you are also now going to be victim to the psychological phenomena of trait generalization. Despite having been honest with her, the question of your fidelity will extend all the way back to every time you have every been away from her. Despite your good behavior up till this point [presumably], you could still be suspect.
It will also, as she mentioned, extend into the future.
As a matter of condolence, good on you for fessing up to your actions. They could have been "nothing," or a "joke," but they also could have gotten back to her on lips other than your own. Had that happened, I think you would have been obliged to fall on your proverbial sword.
Okay, it's the next day now and I woke up at 5 pm with her ringing me. I answered and she told me to go on MSN. So I went on as soon as I could and she wants to meet up with me tomorrow, wander around a shopping centre for a while and then meet up with her best friend and my best friend (who happen to be dating) for a double date that was planned before this entire incident.
She also wants me to show her what I want for my birthday, as it is in 6 days.
It seems she wants to forget about the whole incident, she's using smilies and other generally positive emotes on MSN.
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
it's not like it was anythign serious anyway