So, my girlfriend is in porn and I don't know what to do.

Panzer_God

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Lumber Barber said:
Panzer_God said:
EDIT: I decided not telling her would be the smart, safe and logical thing to do. So I asked her, it's her. She did it needing the money and has stopped, although she hasn't ruled out doing it again if she's tight on cash. We're still together.
You sound like a bro, bro.
I am a bro.

PlatonicRapist said:
There is nothing like honesty when dealing with women. Just front up and say "Hey, I was surfing some porn last night and I saw you, and you were awesome, but you know I think I could do better with you under similar conditions, so if you haven't got some awful disease from your interesting career choice, wanna give it a go ?" Do this with a sly and slightly cocky degree of self confidence and you're in, provided you aren't the elephant man.
Actually, shit like that was why she started going out with me in the first place. I'm an arrogant prick, but god damn I'm good at it.
 

Panzer_God

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LastGreatBlasphemer said:
Panzer_God said:
Actually, shit like that was why she started going out with me in the first place. I'm an arrogant prick, but god damn I'm good at it.
COntrary to popular belief, women love confidence.
Hell, 3 of the 6 women I dated in high school only went out with me because I came up to them and asked. Like seriously, that's a shitty break up to have, "You're a nice guy, but you're not really my type. The only reason we started going out is because you had to balls to ask me out."
High school is weird.
I don't think that's contrary to popular belief, I just think that popular opinion got it wrong. It seems to be that people think girls like assholes, but they don't. They like confidence, which assholes have and most nerds don't.
 

Fappy

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I am laughing so hard at everyone asking for links XP
 

Panzer_God

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Fappy said:
I am laughing so hard at everyone asking for links XP
Especially since they're mostly the people that told me to ignore it and move on xD
 

Panzer_God

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LastGreatBlasphemer said:
Panzer_God said:
I don't think that's contrary to popular belief, I just think that popular opinion got it wrong. It seems to be that people think girls like assholes, but they don't. They like confidence, which assholes have and most nerds don't.
Not where I'm from lad. Not where I'm from.
It'd be nice were women round here to wise up, but the emo craze is still kind of big here.
Oh god, the emo phase! I had forgotten about other people's emo phases entirely. I'm still suffering PTSD from mine.
 

UberNoodle

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So is she actually a 'porn star' is it just another example of a porn site stealing pics of 'homegrown girls' from public social network profiles and using them for banners. It happens quite a lot and if that's the case, you'd want to help her with her legal case.
 

UberNoodle

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Panzer_God said:
LastGreatBlasphemer said:
Panzer_God said:
Actually, shit like that was why she started going out with me in the first place. I'm an arrogant prick, but god damn I'm good at it.
COntrary to popular belief, women love confidence.
Hell, 3 of the 6 women I dated in high school only went out with me because I came up to them and asked. Like seriously, that's a shitty break up to have, "You're a nice guy, but you're not really my type. The only reason we started going out is because you had to balls to ask me out."
High school is weird.
I don't think that's contrary to popular belief, I just think that popular opinion got it wrong. It seems to be that people think girls like assholes, but they don't. They like confidence, which assholes have and most nerds don't.
No, they like assholes because assholes treat them like dirt in comparison to a 'nice guy' who'd bend over backwards for her, and that makes them a challenge. That's it. Also, many girls want to 'tame' the bad boy, or take in and nurture the broken one. And in the end, these relationships mess up and the first person the girl complains to about the lack of 'good guys out there' is one of the nice guys who WAS actually interested until she dumped him 'Friendsville' with all the others.

Many 'nerds' are only so because somebody else is too insecure to let them be. But actually perhaps they DO have confidence, because that's why they are being nerdy in the first place, to a girl likely adore. And is that not also great confidence of a kind, whereas the asshole's 'confident cockiness' and trademark aloofness could easily be construed as a crutch intimacy and commitment issues. Confidence is also a far wider spectrum than represented by assholes. A man who's kind, considerate and respectful is showing confidence in himself as a mature and intelligent man.

A lot of the 'assholes' out there are merely showing how little maturity they've managed to amass in their lives, and so much of their confidence is really just a mask for selfishness. Many 'nice guys' get discarded for the most idiotic preconceptions, like 'oh no! he let ME choose the restaurant!'. FFS.
 

maninahat

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"What do I do?"

What do you do? Don't do anything! Does it actually matter to you if she was in a porno? If it doesn't bother you, I don't see why you feel the need to change anything, or behave any differently. Personally, I think the idea of it sounds kind of cool.

UberNoodle said:
Panzer_God said:
LastGreatBlasphemer said:
Panzer_God said:
Snip
Snip
No, they like assholes because assholes treat them like dirt in comparison to a 'nice guy' who'd bend over backwards for her, and that makes them a challenge. That's it. Also, many girls want to 'tame' the bad boy, or take in and nurture the broken one. And in the end, these relationships mess up and the first person the girl complains to about the lack of 'good guys out there' is one of the nice guys who WAS actually interested until she dumped him 'Friendsville' with all the others.

Many 'nerds' are only so because somebody else is too insecure to let them be. But actually perhaps they DO have confidence, because that's why they are being nerdy in the first place, to a girl likely adore. And is that not also great confidence of a kind, whereas the asshole's 'confident cockiness' and trademark aloofness could easily be construed as a crutch intimacy and commitment issues. Confidence is also a far wider spectrum than represented by assholes. A man who's kind, considerate and respectful is showing confidence in himself as a mature and intelligent man.

A lot of the 'assholes' out there are merely showing how little maturity they've managed to amass in their lives, and so much of their confidence is really just a mask for selfishness. Many 'nice guys' get discarded for the most idiotic preconceptions, like 'oh no! he let ME choose the restaurant!'. FFS.
You're full of it. I don't know what's worse - the fact that you are happy to dismiss confident, outgoing people as "selfish asholes", or the fact that you demean women to even lower standards - You describe women as though they are stupid morons who can't be trusted to make their own decisions; who aren't attracted to the "right" kind of people.

Confident here means self-assured. It does not mean dependable, responsible or considerate, however you try to redefine the word. You can have all those qualities without being confident, and that is an obstacle for a lot of people. Your problem is with cocksure people, which are a different thing entirely.
 

UberNoodle

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maninahat said:
"What do I do?"

What do you do? Don't do anything! Does it actually matter to you if she was in a porno? If it doesn't bother you, I don't see why you feel the need to change anything, or behave any differently. Personally, I think the idea of it sounds kind of cool.

UberNoodle said:
Panzer_God said:
LastGreatBlasphemer said:
Panzer_God said:
Snip
Snip
Snip
You're full of it. I don't know what's worse - the fact that you are happy to dismiss confident, outgoing people as "selfish asholes", or the fact that you demean women to even lower standards - You describe women as though they are stupid morons who can't be trusted to make their own decisions; who aren't attracted to the "right" kind of people.

Confident here means self-assured. It does not mean dependable, responsible or considerate, however you try to redefine the word. You can have all those qualities without being confident, and that is an obstacle for a lot of people. Your problem is with cocksure people, which are a different thing entirely.
Oh, and here I was, thinking I was talking about assholes, not 'confident outgoing people'. Are you saying that 'nerds' can't be confident outgoing people? Where in my post did I ever describe a 'confident outgoing person' as an asshole? And speaking of redefining words, you're doing it in spades. So now, 'asshole' means 'cocksure? Never even heard of that word before. And perhaps you should consider my point, that confidence takes many forms and what people often associate with confidence may not actually be as indicative as assumed.

And I certainly didn't 'demean women' in my post. If you want to discuss generality then you can hardly object when generality is used. It is a valid generalisation that women are attracted to men who are hard to get, just as men do. For many women, this relates to the 'treat 'em mean; keep 'em keen' expression, ie, 'asshole'. Nice guys, ie, NOT assholes, tend to be too easy. They are more than willing to devote to a woman their time and energy, and this lacks excitement for the woman, thus they looked over for the guys who make women wonder -- does he really like/want me? Is he really a nice guy?

As for women being attracted to men they can 'fix' or 'nurture', that is ALSO a valid generalisation.

So, before coming off so self righteous and aggressive, calling me 'full of it' etc, I7d appreciate you putting some thought into the discussion.
 

SweetLiquidSnake

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I ain't reading 10 pages, whats her screen name and is she professional or one of those pretend-ex-gf-take-random-pics-off-facebook-kinda-thing?
 

Epicspoon

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JoesshittyOs said:
Only one logical thing to do. Next time you're having sex, pull out and finish on her face.

Judge her reaction.
You are a terrible and hilarious human being.
 

BehattedWanderer

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Jun 24, 2009
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Glad to see you talked to her about this. Communication, people, it's how to make a relationship work.
 

loc978

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Panzer_God said:
EDIT: I decided not telling her would be the smart, safe and logical thing to do. So I asked her, it's her. She did it needing the money and has stopped, although she hasn't ruled out doing it again if she's tight on cash. We're still together.
That... is the most mature, rational decision regarding a sexual relationship I've ever read on this site. Bravo.
 

maninahat

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UberNoodle said:
maninahat said:
UberNoodle said:
Panzer_God said:
LastGreatBlasphemer said:
Panzer_God said:
Snip
Snip
Snip
Snip
Oh, and here I was, thinking I was talking about assholes, not 'confident outgoing people'. Are you saying that 'nerds' can't be confident outgoing people? Where in my post did I ever describe a 'confident outgoing person' as an asshole? And speaking of redefining words, you're doing it in spades. So now, 'asshole' means 'cocksure?
"whereas the asshole's 'confident cockiness' and trademark aloofness could easily be construed as a crutch intimacy and commitment issues...A lot of the 'assholes' out there are merely showing how little maturity they've managed to amass in their lives, and so much of their confidence is really just a mask for selfishness."

Confident cockiness is also known as "cocksure", which is something that is reasonable to criticise. However your qualifications for asshole status seems to also include "confident guys that girls like". Confidence only takes one form - being self-assured. If a nice guy is too shy to ask a girl out, or too retiring to attract a female, then they are not confident. It doesn't matter how kind or compassionate they may be; that isn't a kind of confidence.

I certainly didn't 'demean women' in my post. If you want to discuss generality then you can hardly object when generality is used. It is a valid generalisation that women are attracted to men who are hard to get, just as men do. For many women, this relates to the 'treat 'em mean; keep 'em keen' expression, ie, 'asshole'. Nice guys, ie, NOT assholes, tend to be too easy. They are more than willing to devote to a woman their time and energy, and this lacks excitement for the woman, thus they looked over for the guys who make women wonder -- does he really like/want me? Is he really a nice guy?
I don't disagree that some women are attracted to bad guys, or that they favour confident men, or that they sometimes pick the wrong people. The generalisation and your argument, however, still hinge on the idea that women can't be relied on to pick the right men; that they lack ability to judge suitors as well as you apparently can, and if only they did, then all the shy nice guys would get girlfriends. That's a condescending way to see women, and a stereotypical, a "nice guy" way to view things. [http://ohinternet.com/Nice_guy]